Chapter 2:
A Night to Remember

Having some of the worst luck in the world recently, it was only customary that it pile itself into a raging mass of misfortune. The unicorn stallion in front of me was going to be that misfortune. I was hoping for a painless and easy apology, but Murphy and his laws had other plans...

“My apologies, I wasn't watching—” I started to say to the stallion, before being rudely interrupted.

“You FOOL! Watch where you're going! You've ruined my mane! Do you know how long it took to have it groomed properly?!" The stallion shouted with an air of pride.

“Uh...No.” I replied without emotion, waiting for the floodgates to open. I noticed Twilight start to say something, but I held up a halting hand, assuring her that I had everything under control.

“Three HOURS!” the stallion said with flair and drama. “And YOU ruined it in three SECONDS with your ineptitude, you hairless monkey!” he growled as he jabbed a hoof in my direction. Now how in the world did that name get out? Oh well, just roll with it...

“If my Aunt hadn't allowed you to stay here, I would have the guards throw you in the dungeon for this atrocity!” He added with gusto.

A light-bulb turned on in my head, and I grinned. I had all the information I needed to form a conclusion. All Twilight could do is watch with worry, as I bait and set the hook.

“Wait...Your aunt is...?” I questioned in mock confusion, already knowing the outcome of my actions.

“Princess Celestia, you common idiot!” he said in an insulting tone. “I am Prince Blueblood! The most handsome and eligible bachelor in all of Equestria!”

“Ah, so you're the self-centered Prince I heard Rarity mention. She didn't seem too fond of your arrogance.” I said with audacity and a sigh.

“She just couldn't handle the greatest stallion in all of Equestria!” he boasted, narrowing his eyes and turning his nose up in the air.

“Uh-huh,” I deadpanned. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Blue, ” I prodded, chuckling.

“That's Prince Blueblood! You will address me by my proper title!” He snorted in frustration, pushing closer to me, his horn almost poking my flight suit as he continued to ramble on.

“I'd back up if I were you, Blue,” I warned. Ever hear of personal space?”

He laughed my question off as he continued to berate me for being a hairless monkey and a petty commoner. Twilight saw my hand clenching into a fist, with a look of fear in her eyes. Not to mention the other ponies in the cafe, who had been watching the whole event take place—looks of confusion and awe on their faces. I wanted to knock him out cold, but I suddenly realized that his hard head would probably only result in a broken hand on my part, and a very pissed-off pony that could stab me with his horn.

I narrowed my eyes and smiled as I remembered something Twilight had taught me about unicorn magic—how the horn was the conduit for magical energy, and depending on the unicorn, could be very sensitive to stimuli. I was going to use this knowledge to hopefully end my current fiasco, and perhaps even get a laugh out of it for the trouble.

“What are you smiling about? I’m berating you, you idiot!” he asked with brief confusion.

Yeah, I need a good laugh right about now, I reached out with my hand, and using my middle finger and thumb...

I flicked the arrogant Prince on his horn, but not too rough. Just hard enough to make my finger tingle. Fortunately for me and my finger, the Prince's ego wasn't the only overly sensitive part of him.

“Yeeeoowwww!” He let out the most hilarious, yet saddening cry I've ever heard. I almost felt bad for doing it, until what he did next quashed that feeling dead.

“Aaaaaaaaah! Auntieeeeeee!” He yelled as he ran past me, out the door and off towards the castle, crying like a little boy, with me laughing my ass off in his wake.

All the ponies in the cafe, including Twilight, were looking at me with shock and awe—as though I had just killed someone. I think I even heard mild laughter somewhere, but my laughing stopped when I saw the extremely concerned look on Twilight's face.

“Why...why did you do that?” she asked with anxiety and fear. “I can't imagine what Princess Celestia will do! Hitting a common pony is one thing, but...royalty?!”

“A royal pain in my ass, if you ask me. Besides, I didn't even hit him that hard,” I replied with conviction. I heard a pony snicker with stifled laughter, only further enforcing my point. “See, I’m not the only one that got a good laugh out of it!” I added, waving in the general direction of the laughing pony.

“That still doesn't put me at ease,” she responded with dread, as we walked to a table and sat down, most of the other ponies still eying us, although very covertly; my situational awareness was always engaged, thanks to my military training.

“Believe me, if I wanted to hurt him, I would've just hit him with my fist,” I explained as I got settled. “I just didn't realize his horn would be that sensitive. I remembered what you'd said about horns and magic and all, so I figured there'd be less physical contact that way. You have to admit though, the look on his face was priceless,” I added with a chuckle, mocking the prince's facial expression.

“You're right about that,” Twilight said with a muted giggle.

An Earth pony stallion trotted up to our table, wearing a very dashing dress shirt, no doubt made by Ponyville's resident fashionista.

"Your order, please?" he asked in a refined tone.

"We'll just have large salads, with a fresh loaf of bread please," Twilight said, ordering for the both of us.

"And the biggest cup of coffee you can muster," I added with enthusiasm.

The stallion nodded, and trotted back towards the kitchen. A few moments later, he returned with our salads and bread balancing deftly on his back, and my very large cup of coffee in his mouth. He set our meals down, and returned to his duties. I practically inhaled my salad, using the Earth pony utensils that had been placed before me, leaving Twilight in awe as she gingerly nibbled at her salad and bread. Hooray for a fast metabolism!

As we finished our meals, and I chugged the last of my coffee, our waiter trotted back to our table with a small piece of paper hanging from his mouth—I could only assume that it was the bill. My suspicions were confirmed as he laid the paper on our table, but my face contorted into confusion when I noticed the word PAID in big block letters across the bill. The waiter noticed my expression and clarified the situation for me.

"The pegasus over there said your meal is on him," he said as he pointed to a dark-green pegasus stallion across the room. "For your 'valiant actions in the face of extreme arrogance'. He would also like a word with you, as well." he added with a neutral tone, before turning and trotting back towards the kitchen.

I looked over towards the stallion in question, who was motioning with his hoof for me to come to him. I excused myself from the table, and standing up, I slowly walked my way towards the pegasus, a bit of apprehension in my step. Having terrible luck so far, I could only begin to imagine what this stallion wanted to speak to me about. It turned out that my luck was about to change for the better. At least until Murphy and his Laws came back to haunt me.

"You wanted to speak with me?" I asked cautiously as I approached the table.

"Absolutely! My name is Storm Chaser—I was watching you argue with Blueblood earlier, and wanted to congratulate you!" he said as I gave him a firm hand-hoof shake.

"Jason Winters," I said, politely introducing myself. "Wait, did you say congratulate?" I asked, completely taken aback by his statement.

"Yes," he replied. "I've been wanting to put that arrogant jerk in his place for months! Imagine having to work around him every day!" he added with laughter. "I don't know how many times I've heard him complain about his 'precious mane'!"

This must be the pony I heard laughing earlier. Can't say I blame him!

"So, you work in the castle proper?" I asked with renewed interest.

"Yes, I'm a Lieutenant in the Royal Guard—Logistics Division," he said with pride. "I hope to be on Princess Celestia's personal detail someday!" He added, beaming with enthusiasm.

"That sounds like quite the challenge. But why isn't your coat white like the other pegasus guards?" I asked with curiosity.

"Subterfuge!" he replied cheerily. "Our armor is enchanted by magic, so that we all look alike; white for pegasi, and gray for unicorns. Helps to keep other ponies from knowing who we are when we're not wearing it."

"Understandable," I replied with certainty. "I wore camouflage in my old job, but that didn't really do much to deter bad guys from attacking me and the other soldiers under my command," I added with a sullen tone.

"You were a soldier?" he asked in shock. "Somepony told me you were just an alien handyman, trying to get by."

Gee, I can only imagine where he heard that interesting bit of gossip, I thought to myself. And that damn cliche again...

"I was. A soldier, and a pilot. I used to fly helicopters for my military—like the one that crashed a while back." I said as I pointed to the Night Stalkers patch on my flight suit—depicting the Grim Reaper riding a pegasus. In my world, Pegasus was a mythological creature, and here I was, talking to the real deal.

"I heard about that," he recalled. "that night, Princess Luna dispatched a group of scouts to investigate, but when they arrived there was nothing but wreckage. Then you eventually showed up at the castle with Miss Sparkle. Didn't do the math until you mentioned it just now," he added with a chuckle. "knowing that, I would like to extend to you an offer for employment with the Royal Guard! Granted I'd have to get my Captain, Shining Armor to approve it first, but once he hears word of how you handled the situation with Blueblood, I think he'll come around."

Looks like I'll be able to get back into my old groove, I thought to myself. beats the hell out of playing Mr. Fix-It for all of Ponyville.

"Well, I'm living with Twilight in Ponyville, so you'll know where to find me."

"Excellent!" he exclaimed. "I'll be in touch with you sometime soon."

I thanked the Pegasus for his time, and made my way back to Twilight, patiently waiting at our table.

"What was that all about?" she asked with enthusiastic interest.

"A very lucrative job offer," I explained with pride. "It seems that pegasus works with your brother, and offered me a position in the Royal Guard!" I added with excitement. "Of course your brother will have to approve of it first." We stood up and collected our things, and headed out of the cafe, giving the green pegasus a cursory wave as I walked out.

"That's excellent!" she responded with glee. "I'll have to write a letter to my brother, and personally vouch for you!"

It seemed that things were looking up for me, and my day was only going to get better. We left the cafe, and spent the rest of the afternoon walking the streets of Canterlot—window shopping, and stopping now and again to chat with ponies as we passed. Little did I know that my night was going to be one I'll never forget.

***

As we continued our walk, the sun was beginning to set. I was still in awe that the alicorn sisters had power over the sun and the moon—not to mention the pegasi who controlled the weather; a feat in and of itself. We rounded a corner, and I heard an oddly familiar sound: music. But not just any music, this sound resembled the beat of trance and dubstep music I had listened to back on my Earth. I motioned to Twilight to follow me towards the sound.

"It's coming from that assembly hall over there," she said, pointing a hoof to a building almost three-quarters of the way down the street. I looked at her in awe, until I remembered that her larger ears could probably let her hear a moth fart in a hurricane, let alone a noisy building well within eyesight. That's when I noticed the group of ponies gathered outside.

"Good ears," I said sarcastically in defeat. "I want to check out what's going on."

"Okay, but we shouldn't stay out too long," she suggested. "we need to get some rest after the exciting day we've had!"

"Okay, mom," I groused, rolling my eyes. Twilight just sighed and shook her head.

As we neared the hall, the music got louder, and I could feel the beat thumping, even from outside. An elaborate banner was hung over the entrance, and it read: DJ PON-3's Canterlot Party Crash! Tonight Only! I looked at Twilight with excitement; like a child who had just received the newest video game system for his birthday. She somehow read my mind through my expression.

"You want to go inside, don't you?" she asked with a slightly disappointed tone. "We don't have time for this right now," she added with impatience.

"Look, Twi, I need this," I explained. "I've had a pretty rough day. And I promise you that if you let me do this, I'll do anything to help you in your 'human behavior' studies. Just let me have some unbridled fun," I added, throwing the equine reference in jokingly, but she didn't seem to notice. She did, however, notice when I mentioned 'anything'.

"Okay," she conceded. "I'm going to hold you to the 'anything' comment, just don't go too far overboard tonight. You remember what happened at Pinkie Pie's party last night..."

"I actually don't remember much," I admitted bashfully. "other than trying to arm wrestle Big Mac, and you having to carry my pathetic, drunk ass back home," I added with a slight chuckle as we made our way up to the main entrance, a very buff Earth pony stallion eying me with a steely gaze. After we paid the insanely high cover charge of thirty bits each, the stallion unhooked the velvet rope blocking the doorway, and motioned us inside.

***

The moment we stepped into the converted hall, I was overwhelmed by the sickly sweet smell of pony sweat, and the constant vibration of bass from the speakers on the stage. Strobe lights of various colors lit up the hall like a rainbow kaleidoscope. How unicorn magic ran things was still a mystery to me, but I chalked it up to being like electricity back on my planet, although a whole lot different. A brilliant white unicorn mare with an electric blue mane and tail, wearing red tinted glasses was standing behind a set of turntables and mixing boards, seamlessly swapping records out using her magic. She spoke into a microphone, addressing the crowd of dancing ponies. "Good evening Canterlot! Are you ready for the baddest beats and sickest bass drops around?!"

Every pony cheered, pumping hooves in the air, as the DJ placed a record on the turntable, flipping switches and turning dials with her magic. A very hard dubstep song thumped and warbled from the monstrous speakers on stage, causing me to grin from ear to ear, and move my body to the beat. Twilight noticed my actions, and was awestruck watching me move my 'alien' body to the beat of the music. When I looked at her, all I could do was smile.

"You should take notes on this!" I yelled over the loud music, still grinning "Perfect interaction situation! Watch me bust a move!" I added, motioning for her to join me on the floor.

"I'm not big on dancing," she admitted. "I'll just watch you from over here!" she added, sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor. She levitated a notepad and quill from her saddlebag, and began studiously writing while watching my limber body bounce and sway to the beat. As I made my way to the center of the dance floor, the throng of ponies noticed my presence, and cleared a path for me. Most of the ponies were shocked to see me, but others were too busy getting into the noise and lights to even care. It was then that I barely heard a voice yelling for me.

"Hey, monkey man! Jason! Over here!" the voice called out.

I looked around, until my gaze fell upon a familiar sight—Slipstream, the cheerful taxi mare. She was standing on her hind legs, waving her forelegs in the air, vying for my full attention. If it weren't for her loud and boisterous call, I wouldn't have even noticed her in the crowd. The white mare standing next to her, however, I couldn't miss if I tried. She had long slender legs, much longer than any other pony, save for the Princesses; this made her stand about a foot taller than the average pony, with a supermodel-like appearance, and she sported a stunningly bright pink mane and tail. As I got closer, I noticed her cutie mark resembled the French symbol more commonly known as a Fleur de Lis, or Lily Flower. And she was just as beautiful as her namesake. This must be the cousin Slipstream mentioned earlier, I mused.

"Come meet my cousin Fleur!" Slipstream yelled over the din of the music, confirming my suspicions. "I ran into her earlier after I brought you here! I told her all about you, and she's just so eager to meet you!" she added cheerfully as I walked up to the two mares. Gazing into Fleur's violet eyes, I could tell something was wrong—although what it was I couldn't tell without asking. After Slipstream's brief introduction, she left Fleur and I to ourselves, a brief awkward silence ensuing.

"So..." I began nervously. "Slipstream told you about me?" I asked with caution, not exactly sure how much information the pegasus mare had divulged. Of course, my mind went with the worst-case scenario, my only hope that it wouldn't turn ugly.

"Yes," she answered in a nervous, yet melodic voice. "she told me what she'd heard about you, how you came to be here, and I must say I'm rather intrigued about the details she went into," she added with a slight blush. "She said you're almost like a stallion, without the insatiable sexual appetite."

Oh lord, have mercy on my soul, I thought as my mind immediately raced towards the gutter for the hundredth time today. But in this instance, I wasn't taken aback or even put-off by what this beautiful mare knew about me. On the contrary, I was actually somehow attracted to this mare's aura, a feeling of comfort and ease coming over me. There was only one problem:

"Uh, what about your boyfriend, Fancy-something-or-other?" I asked with concern—a severe beating from a jealous beau the last thing I wanted to get myself into.

"Oh, Fancy Pants. My ex-boyfriend," she replied with a sullen tone "Well, he's history now. He left me for a younger, richer, prettier mare in Trottingham. And a Duchess, no less. I caught him rutting her in our bed when I came home the other day. I honestly had no idea that he was cheating on me," she added, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," I said with the most reassuring tone I could muster. "but I highly doubt she's more beautiful than you are," I added with a reassuring smile, hoping to lift her spirits, causing her to lightly smile at my compliment.

"Why thank you, you're too kind," she replied in a quiet voice, a thin smile beginning to form on her lips.

"Just calling it as I see it. And to be perfectly honest, I've never had a special someone—somepony in your case—so I wouldn't know the first thing about your dilemma," I admitted with a sullen tone of my own, a wave of sadness overcoming me.

Sure, I'd had a few dates here and there, but nothing ever came of it. Since I was always on active duty—whether it be for training, or on actual combat missions—I never really had the time to form meaningful and lasting relationships. I could empathize with this mare on so many levels.

"I suppose things could change," She said with forced optimism, wiping a tear from her eye.

At that moment, the DJ began playing an oddly familiar song, and an idea popped into my head, knocking me out of my self-pity. "Come with me," I said as I motioned for her to follow me to the dance floor. She hesitated for a slight moment, then a narrow smile formed on her lips, as she walked with me towards the center of the dance floor, the other ponies making way for us. As the song got going, I slightly closed my eyes to get in the mood, and started dancing like I didn't care. And to be honest, I really didn't.

I didn't notice until I opened my eyes, that the other ponies -Fleur included- were mimicking my jumpstyle dance moves—stomping their hooves, jumping around, kicking their legs, and bobbing their heads to the beat in the same manner I was, to my sheer amazement. The dancing skills I'd learned while stationed in Europe seemed to be pretty catchy.

When the song ended, I was met with loud cheers and hoof stomps of approval from the ponies surrounding me. I danced like crazy for a few more songs, sweating heavily, eventually sapping myself of most of my energy. I finally decided it was time to go, and spoke loudly enough into Fleur's ear so she could hear me better.

"I think it's time for me to head home, I'm flat-out exhausted," I said with short breaths, my body drenched with sweat.

"That sounds like a good idea," she answered "I'm pretty tired myself; I've never danced that hard in my life! Would you care to walk a tired, lonely mare home?" she asked with a sultry smile.

First Slipstream, and now her gorgeous cousin? Why is this mare so interested in me?, I wondered. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to, someone who can help her get through this rough patch.

"It would be my honor to walk a beautiful mare such as yourself home," I answered in a chivalrous tone, taking her hoof in my hand, giving it a light kiss, eliciting a surprising blush from the supermodel mare.

As Fleur and I made our way off the dance floor, I was overwhelmed with all the ponies wanting to hoof-bump me in celebration of my dancing skills. A few stallions were giving me jealous stares as I passed—no doubt due to my dancing, and because of the stunningly beautiful mare that was eagerly following me. Yeah guys, she's with me I thought to myself, grinning.

As I neared the table where Twilight was sitting, Fleur close behind me, I noticed the astonished look on her face as we approached.

"That was unbelievable!" she said with an extremely shocked look on her face "Everypony was going crazy over your dancing! But I honestly think we should head home now, it's getting pretty late." she added with insistence.

"My thoughts exactly," I rasped, still out of breath. "I think I could sleep like Spike after dancing like that! Oh, I promised Fleur I'd walk her home, so I'll meet you at the taxi station after I'm done." I added.

"Okay, just don't take too long, Casanova!" Twilight said with a romantic tone, suddenly realizing what she thought was developing between Fleur and I. I blushed a hue redder than Big Mac's coat, as I face-palmed myself in embarrassment, causing her to giggle.

Fleur and I made our way out of the hall—walking through the streets of Canterlot, chatting away as though we had known each other for years. I did my best to explain my old life to her; about technology, my military service, the similarities and differences between our worlds, and my family and friends that I would sadly never see again. She told me about her family, her very affluent upbringing, and how she really never had the chance to have much fun, given the nature of her modeling career—with constant beauty pageants, formal galas, and upper-class social events.

We briefly discussed the situation that had transpired in the dance hall, about Fancy Pant's betrayal, and my suspicions were correct. She just wanted someone to talk to,someone who would listen with an unbiased opinion. It was the least I could do for her, being the noble and kind person that I was.

I was so lost in our conversation, I hadn't noticed that we had stopped walking, and were already in front of her luxurious apartment.

"This is my place," she said with an air of dignity and pride. "Would you care to come inside?" she asked with a hopeful tone.

Whoa, I thought this is moving a bit fast for me. I mean, she just met me a few hours ago, and now she wants me to come inside? I better nip this in the bud before I make a mistake I'll regret.

"Uh... as much as I would love to," I stammered nervously. "I think it would be best not to...rush things. I mean, we don't know each other that well. Yet" I added, emphasizing the last word, hoping to plant the seed for a future rendezvous—my interest in getting to know this beautiful mare better, on my terms.

"Oh my, such a gentlecolt," she replied as she moved closer to me, closing her eyes as she nuzzled my cheek, allowing me to feel the soft yet prickly sensation of her fur on my skin, causing me to freeze up in shock at what she was doing.

"I just want to thank you for helping me to take my mind off of...him, for the time being, anyway," She whispered in my ear with another sullen tone, before turning and using her magic to open her front door, giving me a small smile before disappearing into her apartment, closing the door behind her.

I felt a warm, happy sensation course through my entire body as I smiled from ear to ear, walking towards the taxi station, realizing that this really was a night I would never forget...

Author's Note

Legal mumbo-jumbo:
"Night Stalkers" is property of the U.S. Army's 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment.
Neither the U.S. Army or 160th SOAR have endorsed this fiction.