The Peacemaker

Dmitry:

I charged at her with all my might but just as I went to slam her head into the ground her horn flared up and she disappeared into thin air. I tried to think about where she could’ve gone but couldn’t think of anywhere. ‘Save me’ whispered a voice in my head, “Uh yeah… I know right” I said out loud, ‘Please save me, Equestria is in grave danger and it needs my help’ whispered the voice.

“Yeah, well I’ve already fucked up enough things for one day I don’t think that Equestria needs me running around in some fury state destroying a bunch of stuff” I told the voice. ‘No… in the doorway past where you are… look to your right’ the voice told me and I looked to my right to see a heavily built door. I walked over and tried opening the door but it was locked, I stepped back and booted the door down. It crashed to the ground with a THUD and I entered a dimly lit chasm.

“Okay seriously, no more spooky hallways” I said out loud and the voice returned. ‘Please, the fate of Equestria may rest on your shoulders’ the voice told me. I tensed myself up and generated a brighter aurora around my body, the aurora was so powerful that it blew dust away from my feet and the air around me crackled with electricity as I walked down the creepy hallway.

Whoever had made this, probably that freakish bug lady, had made it to be lit with torches. “Man… this place looks ancient” I muttered to myself. ‘It is, it was built by our great ancestors many millennia ago’ the voice told me and I let out a deep exhale as I looked in fascination at the torches that lit the hallway.

The hallway seemed to go on forever but finally I reached the end and was about to open the door when a voice screeched in my head. “Nooo, don’t release her, if you do Equestria will be doomed’ screeched the voice in my head. “WELL MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ALREADY, YOU HAD ME WALK ALL THE WAY DOWN THIS FUCKING HALLWAY AND FOR WHAT? To tell me ‘Don’t open the door’” I yelled and the long hallway echoed my voice.

‘No you must release me, do not listen to her’ said the voice in my head but then the voice was silenced by the other. ‘Do not listen to her, she is weak. Her weakness will spread across Equestria and make it weak, you must have a powerful leader’ hissed the other voice. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I yelled and both voices left my head, at this point I was already down her so I might as well see what’s behind the spooky door.

I opened the door to see a brightly lit cocoon tied in chains with Princess Celestia inside. Well I think it was her anyway, with things the way they were I was only sure of one thing, that I was me. I walked over to the cocoon and it illuminated brighter as I brought my hand up and touched the transparent cocoon. It had a slimy feel to it and just touching it made me want to gag.

I felt pity for Celestia, if she had been trapped in this thing for… however long she was trapped in it, she was probably pruned like someone who had been in the bath way too long. I pulled out my combat knife and looked at the cocoon that was wrapped in chains. I held one of the chain links and my hand illuminated in a beautiful blue aurora and soon the chains melted and the cocoon simply hung there, a strand of cocoon attached to the ceiling kept it hanging above the ground. I reached up but couldn’t reach it. “I wish I had pegasus serum… that would make this easier” I muttered as I focused on my own body and made myself levitate upwards.

I reached forwards and cut the cocoon down from the ceiling and caught it in my magical aurora so the occupant wouldn’t be injured from the fall. I laid the cocoon gently on the floor and cut open the cocoon with my knife, making sure not to cut the occupant. Green liquid goo gushed out of the cocoon as I opened it, Celestia’s body rolled out of the cocoon case and I nudged her, hoping she was just sleeping or hibernating or whatever.

But she didn’t react to my nudge, I brought my ear up to her mouth and listened, she wasn’t breathing. “Well this is just perfect” I told myself but then I remembered basic CPR. I groaned to myself and I rolled her body onto her back and began to push down on her chest as I attempted to get her to breathe. “Come on… come on… Breathe!” I yelled but the body simply laid there, lifeless. “I did not come all the way down here, cut open this goo sack just to have you be dead… BREATHE!” I yelled but still the body didn’t move. I brought my ear up to her mouth again but she still wasn’t breathing.

I kept trying to pump my hands against her chest to bring her back to life but she still wouldn’t come around. Her mouth was open and her tongue lay limp out of her mouth then I remembered in CPR you were supposed to like breathe down their mouth to help them have oxygen or something. “Ohh… yeah no” I said to myself but my conscious caught up to me, after all the lives I had just taken I couldn’t really just let Celestia die.

“I’m never going to live this one down” I muttered to myself as I leaned my face over top of hers. “Oh god… I hope no one ever knows about this” I muttered as I held her mouth open and placed my lips over hers and breathed into her mouth. I quickly took my lips away from hers and wiped the slim off my lips.

“Ack, gross” I muttered to myself as I began to pump her chest again but still she didn’t come around. “Come on… don’t die on me… I didn’t come all this way just to find out you’re dead” I muttered, then again I had come all this way to put a stop to the LBH, which technically I almost did.

I looked to her mouth again and groaned disgustedly that I was once again going to perform mouth to mouth on a slimy pony err alicorn… it was still gross. I once again leaned my face over hers and had to close my eyes from the sheer grossness of it as I leaned my face forward and pressed my lips against her and breathed into her mouth again. ‘Alright seriously if she doesn’t come around this time I’m just gonna say she’s dead and leave her’ I thought to myself.

Suddenly I felt something wet and juicy slip into my mouth and it licked my own tongue. I jumped back from the suddenness of it. I landed on my ass and looked to the slimy princess. She coughed a few times then stood up onto all four of her hooves, if I was standing up I would probably be eye to eye with her.

“What… the fuck… was that?” I gasped, horrified to know the answer. “My tongue” she replied casually and I leaned over and puked. The slim was bad enough but I had just unintentionally French kissed with a talking pony. No I didn’t. She kissed me, it’s different. Celestia walked over, “Didn’t you like it?” she asked and I shook my head “No… I didn’t it was… quite disturbing” I replied and she simply sighed. “That’s too bad, I was hoping for a stallion in shining armor to come to my rescue… the kiss to wake the sleeping beauty” she told me and my gut wrenched in disgust.

“You… weren’t really dead were you? You were just faking” I asked, already knowing the answer. She nodded and I groaned “Don’t tell anyone or else” I groaned and she laughed and walked over to me and pushed my body onto the ground as she stood over top of me like a seductress. “First we need to do something” she told me and I tried to escape out from under her but she had bound my body to the ground with her own magical abilities. “You know what? I should’ve listened to that insect freak, at least she wouldn’t have raped me” I muttered then thought about it, she probably would’ve raped me to.

I cursed myself for letting myself get dragged into this situation. “Don’t worry, soon you will have the most tremendous powers” Celestia told me. “Wait what?” I asked in confusion and she suddenly stabbed both my shoulders with her horn, the left then the right. I screamed out in pain as she stepped back and released my body from her magical aurora.

“You now have the powers of an alicorn at your disposal” she told me as my wounds healed magically. I was panting heavily as the wounds finally healed, she trotted past me, “You didn’t think I was actually going to rape you?” she laughed as she gave me a wink and opened the door to the isolation chamber.

I groaned to myself as I followed her, this was getting better by the minute, what next? Oh I know she’ll tell me that I’m supposed to rule Equestria or something.

As we walked down the hallway the torches dimmed and a gust of wind went by and the fires of all the torches went out. “Great” I muttered as I clenched my fists and powered up, the aurora around my body illuminated the hallway with a beautiful blue haze. Suddenly that bug lady… Chrysalis, came flying at us. I opened my fist and put it in front of my body and a blue blast of energy shot out of my palm and collided with her. There was an explosion followed by smoke that soon past but her voice echoed through the hallways. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you yet” Chrysalis’ voice laughed.

“We have to get out of here” Celestia said but collapsed to her knees. “Another prince charming act?” I asked sarcastically but she shook her head weakly. “No… giving you those powers has made me weak… don’t worry, I can still walk” she replied and staggered to her feet but this simply wasn’t going to cut it. Suddenly I heard a gross slushing sound and looked down the hallway to see a tidal wave of green goo splashing towards us.

“What is this? Indiana Jones?” I asked and looked up. “Up and out” I muttered and lifted my hand up and blasted the roof of the hallway with a large beam of magical energy. The energy cut through the roof and tunneled all the way to the surface, the tunnel was large enough for us both to fly though. I looked to Celestia who was still having troubles standing.

I grabbed her in my arms and cradled her body close to mine and lept upwards and amazingly I could fly. ‘Alicorn powers are sweet’ I told myself as I flew upwards through the tunnel.

Our bodies flew through the tunnel top and I landed blissfully on the ground and was about to set Celestia down when I realized she was still exhausted so I held her body close to mine. “I’ll get you out of here… I promise” I told her and she looked up to me with a weakened smile. “My knight in shining armour” she whispered and I looked down to her. “Yeah if I’m gonna save you, you’ll have to call me something different” I replied, “How about prince charming” she snickered and I rolled my eyes, ‘How was that any better?’ I thought to myself then figured I wasn’t even going to bother so I simply muttered “Yeah sure let’s go with that”