Twilight Gets Drawn In

"What have I gotten myself in to?" Twilight thought to herself. She didn't have much time to think as Ling-ling shouted something in his gibberish at her and leaped into the air. The subtitle at the bottom read, "Ling-ling challenges purple dog to battle to the death!" as Ling-ling's battle theme played:

Ling-ling into battle go, fulfill destiny of the soul,
Sever skull of adversary, shove it in the poo-poo hole,
And all the children sing
Kill kill kill kill die die die, kill kill kill kill die die die!

As this song was playing, Ling-ling charged a ball of dark purple energy and fired it at Twilight. She teleported about ten feet to her left to dodge the blast and cast a freezing spell on Ling-ling, immobilizing him, then used her telekinesis to lower him gently to the floor. He shouted more gibberish at her, the subtitle reading, "Release Ling-ling so he can kill you properly!"

"I'm not going to stand by and allow you to attack me! I don't care who you are, I won't let that happen!" Twilight exclaimed. "Does anypony else feel like attacking me?" Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence by her use of magic, their mouths agape. It took a few moments for everyone to regain their composure, or what passed for composure given the level of decorum (or lack thereof) each of them possessed.

"That was really cool, Twilight! Do you think you can teach me how to do that?" asked Xandir.

"You're not a unicorn so you can't use magic," she replied flatly. She unfroze Ling-ling at this point and glared at him. To emphasize her point, she gave a short low growl of anger.

"Hey, Twilight, why not stop by my bedroom later on? I'll show you a little magic of my own!" Captain Hero grinned, winking very obviously.

"Ugh! NO!" Twilight said loudly in disgust. "He's an awful lot like Prince Blueblood," she thought.

"Bad Ling-ling! Bad!" Clara admonished him. "Go to your room!" Ling-ling huffed in anger, turned and left. He said something else in his gibberish, the subtitle reading, "This is not over, purple dog!"

"You'll have to forgive him, he's always looking for a fresh battle," Foxxy stated. "Let me give you a tour of the place since you're new here, Twilight." As Twilight followed Foxxy, the other members went off to various places around the house to pursue their own interests until the next challenge or crisis arose. Foxxy showed Twilight the guest rooms, pointing out each one. They went through the kitchen and Twilight noticed the sink was filled with dirty dishes.

"Who washes the dishes in the house?" she asked.

"We're supposed to be taking turns doing that, but usually it's Ling-ling who does them ever since Princess Clara's Octopussoir ran off and got married," Foxxy stated flatly.

"Octopussoir? What's that?"

"Princess Clara had a monster between her legs -- a multi-tentacled thing of some sort that she controlled. It seemed like it was a personal pet of hers. We found out the hard way that it hates loud noises, but also found out it enjoyed washing dishes. Things were fine until it found a mate and got married. Now the sink's full of dirty dishes almost all the time. Ling-ling does them, but only when he feels like it."

While Foxxy was explaining this to Twilight, she had filled the sink with soapy water and was using her telekinesis to wash the dishes with rags, rinsing them off and putting them in the drying rack. She finished this task in less than five minutes. Foxxy was astonished by this feat. "Um, thanks for doing the dishes, Twilight!" Foxxy exclaimed with a big smile.

"I can't stand seeing something like that, Foxxy, it drives me crazy! What else is there in this house?"

"We have a pool in the back yard," she said. "You know how to swim?"

"Um, no, I haven't tried."

"We have a hot tub back there, too," Foxxy grinned.

"I think I'll pass on that invitation," Twilight shuddered.

"You never know until you try it!" she said, her grin getting bigger.

"Ugh! Is everypony in this house obsessed with sex?"

"It helps us pass the time," Foxxy chuckled. "You need to stop being such a prude!"

"Let's finish the tour, Foxxy. Where am I supposed to be sleeping? There aren't enough rooms for everypony in the house."

"Well, you could share my room, or perhaps you could bunk with Clara -- I KNOW you ain't gonna wanna stay in Hero's room, and Spanky, well ... just stay away from him altogether is all I can say." Foxxy then led Twilight through the rest of the house, showing her the dining room, the activity room and finishing back in the main room of the house.

"I really would like to visit this library you mentioned, Foxxy," Twilight said optimistically.

"Well, the Producer doesn't want us leaving the house unless it's needed. I don't know if he'll let us go to the library -- and if one of us goes, we ALL have to go. You don't wanna know what kind of chaos Wooldoor would cause in a library."

"What exactly IS he? I've never seen anything like him, ever."

"He's a sockbat. That's why his name is Wooldoor Sockbat!"

"So can you tell me what exactly a sockbat is?"

"Well, no. I don't even know, myself, so unless you ask him, I couldn't tell you."

"WHEEEE! I wanted to say hi to Twilight! HI!"

"Wooldoor, what exactly is a sockbat?" Twilight asked him.

"Um, to tell you the truth, Twilight, I don't know! I come from a long line of Sockbats! I never bothered to find anything more about that, I just AM!"

"Why do you say WHEEEE all the time?"

"I have to say that ever 30 seconds, or I'll explode! WHEEEEE!" he then ran off to the back yard, where Captain Hero and Spanky Ham were sitting at the patio table, an empty green bottle laying on its side atop the table. "Gotta finish the game, bye!"

"Foxxy, what game are they playing?"

"Spin the bottle, wanna watch? They're so funny," Foxxy chuckled. Twilight watched as the three of them would take turns spinning the bottle -- upon stopping, Captain Hero would passionately kiss whomever the open end of the bottle pointed to. If the bottle stopped and pointed at none of the three, all three of them would do a group kiss. The bottle was spun again, and this time it pointed to Wooldoor.

"My turn! WHEEEEE!" he exclaimed in excitement.

"If you're going to be gay about this, you can't play!" Hero said sternly.

"Awww," Wooldoor said dejectedly. Hero gave him a passionate kiss anyway.

Twilight was disgusted by this scene and expressed her disgust openly. Foxxy just laughed and told her that's the way things went in this house.