Patricidium

No, please.. It-it hurts..

Pain is a good thing, is it not?

I.. Yes..

Good boy..

When Lightning opened his eyes once more, he almost expected to be back in that room again. The manner in which he woke up had been so similar, he nearly thought everything had only been another dream. But it wasn’t a dream, he realized as he woke up, pain surging through his body.

More like a nightmare…

A few images lingered in his mind, just like the last time he woke up. This time though, it wasn’t images or feelings of death, it was pure, tearing pain. The pain was in his mind and his body, consuming him both from the inside and out. That piercing pain, penetrating deep into his flesh..

It hurts..

Lightning’s head began to hurt as he remembered something from his dream. That one spoken line, the uttering of pain. Vaguely, he remembered a burning sensation, like the feel of a red hot knife being shoved into his body. What had caused that pain, he couldn’t remember, just that horrible feel of.. intrusion.

It was pitch black around him, and he couldn’t even see his own hoof in front of his face. He needed light, otherwise he’d be blind as a bucking bat.

But maybe that’s a good thing..?

He tried to light up his horn.

If I’m blind, I don’t have to see... what might be out there.

Sharp pain coursed through his head as he directed his magic into his horn. He shrieked involuntarily, believing his head had been split. A few sparkles of green light burst out from his horn, glistening no more than a second before they died down again, leaving him in complete darkness. In that split second of temporary light, he’d seen enough to understand what was wrong.

He’d caught a glimpse of red stains around him, specks covering the floor. His hooves where covered as well, the crimson blood turning brown as it dried into his coat. And on the floor in front of him, illuminated by the green light; a pointy, white object, partially covered in blood, broken off at the end.

Small pieces of it littered the ground around him, shattered like porcelain cups. Having realized that the object on the floor was his horn, Lightning instantly broke down into tears. The only thing he’d ever been proud of, the one thing that made him into himself, torn away from his body.

He tried to stand up, and more pain shot through his body. The fall must have been longer than he thought; when he looked up he couldn’t even see the hole he fell through.

What the buck am I supposed to do now..?

Despite the darkness around him it was clear as day what he had to do. He just didn’t want to accept it, at least.. not yet. Perhaps he could fix his horn, tape it to his forehead, or perhaps he would wake up from this nightmare any second now.. You always wake up in a fall, so he should already be awake by now.

Lightning took a deep breath – that smell again... – and stepped out into the shadows. The floor felt different from the other rooms; it wasn’t coated in water. Instead, it was hard and solid, probably some sort of stone, maybe concrete. Yet the clear smell of mold of filth permeated the air around him. Perhaps something lay hidden away in a corner, something slowly rotting away..

Someponys severed test..

“Get a grip, Lightning!” he said loudly to himself. His voice echoed off of walls he couldn’t see.

Why I am I even thinking about.. that? There’s no reason to, no bucking logical reason the fear something like it. Get a grip on yourself, damn it. They’re still there, still with you. Stop thinking about it.

As he tried to collect his thoughts, he felt his hoof step on something. Something thin and round, and rather hard… A bone..?

He removed his hoof from the object, and leaned his head down towards the floor. A smell filled his nostrils, but it wasn’t disgusting or repulsive, not the type of smell you’d expect from old bones.. it smelled more like.. wax.

Lightning tried to push the object a bit, and it slowly rolled away. Quickly, he reached his hoof into the darkness and stopped it.

It’s a candle, it’s gotta be…

The unicorn opened his mouth to pick it up. If it indeed was a candle, he could use it to find his way out of here. He felt his teeth clamp around it, and the distinct taste of wax filled his mouth. Now all he needed was some matches.. instantly, the candle got yanked out of his mouth.

Lightning gasped loudly and took a few steps back. This was just like what happened with the door, only this time.. Whatever it was that shut the door and now took the candle; it was right there with him. Waiting for him in the darkness.  Or it could be...

Right next to me.

Scared out of his mind from this possibility, Lightning spun around in the shadows, hitting his front hooves through the air, bucking his hind legs hard into nothing. It was all around him, yet he couldn’t hit it. Finally, he did what he always did: ran.

Just like he always ran from his problems, he ran from this unknown presence. The way he ran from conflicts and arguments.

And acceptance.

He was sure that the shadows around him held him back, pulled him in, and that he in fact did not move at all. It would devour him, and soon there would be no Lightning Quill left, just the strong emotions he felt in his dying moment, drifting forever in and endless abyss of black nothingness.

And suddenly, he felt it. He felt the emptiness surround him, pulling him deeper into the abyss.

He floated through the air, could feel the wind tugging at his mane.

He who gaze too deep into the abyss…

Lightning’s chin hit something hard, and a crushing pain spread through his head as he tumbled down, hitting his head and limbs over and over against several hard ledges. His entire body felt like it had been broken apart as he finally came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. He panted and wheezed, a singe of pain hitting him across the ribs when he took a breath that proved too deep.

He cringed in pain as he tried to move his legs. They felt like lead underneath him. Something rattled within his mouth, and he could taste blood.

Please, not this…

Another one of his deepest fears became true as he opened his mouth, and several teeth fell to the floor, followed by the sound of something dripping against stone. The young unicorn had several phobias, not just needles. Losing his teeth was one of the strongest. Once again, Lightning started crying as he felt around inside his mouth with his tongue. Several maulers where missing, as well as a tooth in the front row.

He wanted to scream, but the pain in his ribs was too strong. All he could do was lay his head down on the cold floor and weep. Just like what had happened in the room, he once again felt the desire to be with his mother. She would hold him, tell him everything was alright, comfort him and make him forget all about the pain and fear.

To cry in her lap, like the pathetic foal he was... But it was impossible. His mother was long gone. She had left him alone in the world, with nopony except his... Father.

Lightning’s body trembled as he cried, a more powerful quiver spreading through him as he inhaled through his snout, pulling in the snot that had formed in it from his crying. He didn’t care that it was disgusting as he swallowed it down, just to get it out of the way.

At least for a few seconds, the taste of snot and blood made him forget about the pain and the smell surrounding him. But then it once again hit him like a brick wall.

I... I have to get up…

The unicorn took one final deep breath, doing his best to not mind the pain in his chest. He strained himself to his limit and twisted his legs around, placed his hooves down against the floor. With an exhale of pain, he pushed himself up from the floor.

Lightning’s legs felt wobbly, and he almost lost his balance. He tried to walk forward, but instantly he lost control of his legs, and he stumbled to his right. He yelled out in pain as his head slammed hard into a wall. Despite the pain, the wall was a good thing; he could use it to keep his balance.

As the unicorn walked down the wall, partially rested against it, he found himself… laughing. Not snickering or chuckling – no, a full out laugh, and he had to stop to hold his stomach due to the pain.

Here he was, on the brink of death, lost in darkness and probably with several ribs broken, but all he could think of was that he must’ve looked like a drunk, staggering and leaning against the wall like this.

Maybe he just hit his head too hard in the fall. Maybe this isolation and terror had driven him into madness. Lightning didn’t care or think about it, the laughter filled his head and lungs. He laughed so hard, his mouth started to become dry due to him not even closing it. The more he inhaled to let out a new laugh, the drier it became.

Lost in laughter, he didn’t even notice that he had removed himself from the wall, and staggered on without any support through the darkness. Through his tears, he could see spec of light in the distance. If he could make it there, he would be alright.

Fear started to build up inside him once more, as he finally came to his senses. The pain in his body reminded him of the situation he was in, and his mind had returned back to normal. Yet he couldn’t stop laughing. He wanted to scream, but all that came out of him was hysterical laughing.

His hooves clanked against the concrete floor as he kicked into a trot, doing his best to keep balance through his groggy and blurry eyes.

Just a bit longer, I’m almost there, I..

Just as he thought he would never reach the light, he emerged into it. The moment he did, the laughter stopped and he let out a deep sigh as he felt his legs turn into jelly once again. Staggering, he felt his eyelids grow heavy. He just wanted to sleep... Lightning let himself fall forward, and made no attempt to break his fall. He was too tired, so very tired.

Pain coursed through his body as the intruding object slowly sunk into his body...

A loud clank echoed across the room as his fall stopped suddenly, his head hitting something cold. It wasn’t the floor, since his body got twisted upwards, his neck and head resting upon something higher than the floor. Lightning felt no pain. Only numbness.

Slowly, his eyes began to close, and he felt his mind slip away, trying to escape into the endless reaches of sleep. Or perhaps it was death pulling it away. He tried to fight it, tried to stay awake, and managed to move his body slightly, managed to twist his head.

As he did, it slipped off the object it rested on, and instantly he felt his snout sink down into some sort of thick liquid. His breath created a sound of bubbles, building up and bursting painfully slowly. This was enough for his mind to snap back into place, and as he saw what it was he had his snout in, he shrieked once again. A high pitch shriek; the sound of raw disgust. He sounded more like a little girl than the twenty years old unicorn he was.

Lightning pulled himself away from the liquid, and finally, he let his inside rush out of his mouth. He didn’t bother to hold it back anymore; this was too much for him. Frantically, he shook his head back and forth to get the disgusting goo off of his snout. The smell of decay found its way into his nostrils, and even though he had nothing left in him, he threw up once again.

The more he tried to get it off of him, the clearer the fact became: he’d let his head sink down in an old toilet. He didn’t even want to think about what the thick substance actually was. He shook his head so hard he became dizzy again, and started swaying slightly. He stopped to regain his balance. Since he couldn’t get the liquid off his snout this way, he did the last thing he wanted to: wiped it off with a hoof. Once he’d managed to get it away from his hoof as well, everything he’d been through hit him again.

Like a slap across the face, he saw it all again. The needle, his reflection in the mirror, the masked pony, broken teeth, pain, disgust… His father. Lightning cried out in anger over his own actions, and bucked the filthy toilet hard. It cracked into several pieces, and the thick liquid inside of it escaped unto the floor around it.

The unicorn started crying again as he sat down on the floor, leaning himself against a wall. There wasn’t any moss covering it, only dried marks of streaming water running from the ceiling. He looked down on his body. He wasn’t proud of it anymore, like he used to be. Everywhere he went; mares wanted him and his slim, perfect body.

Now it was covered in bruises and dirt, his coat ruffed and ruined; the white color had turned into a greyer one. His hooves was covered in almost everything imaginable; dirt, blood, mold, filth and shit. Add a broken horn to that, and some extra bruises and filth across his face... He probably looked like the monster he was.

Maybe he deserved this, all this pain and suffering. Perhaps it was his punishment. Up until now, he’d done his best to push the thoughts of his father away, push them deep in the back of his head. That was no longer possible though, as they seemed to force themselves back into his mind, clear as day.

Even though he wanted to, Lightning Quill would never forget what happened. Never forget the day he tried to turn his life around. But all it had done was turn him into a monster. A son that takes the life of his own father is not worthy to be called a pony.

A sick, demented creature. It was not natural to house such strong hate for any living thing, and least of all a parent. But Lightning did. And he regretted it every day.

If only he was as fast with second thoughts as he was with his quill, he might have never hurt his father.

I will never forgive you...

Lightning panted heavily as he hurried through the many hallways and rooms of the building. Everywhere he went, he was met by decay and rotting furniture, flora and fungi growing wild across the walls and floor. His chest burned and his body felt numb, but he kept pushing on. Partially to get away from that room where he quite literally became a part of this disgusting place. The smell still lingered in his nostrils.  But mostly to find an apothecary or ER, there was bound to be something like it in this hospital.

Medical supplies, gauze bandages, whatever he could find that could help him. Maybe some drugs or medicine that could null the pain and help him relax. He didn’t know much about medical care, but he at least had to try.

Emerging from another hallway empty handed, he found himself in what looked to be some sort of lobby or reception area. Torn apart couches littered the center of the room, piled up together. Lightning guessed they had once been placed along the walls or perhaps in some pattern in the middle, but now they had been tossed away like garbage. The stuffing covered the floor around the pile like fluffy entrails, and tears and burn marks had all but eaten away at the furniture. As Lightning approached the pile, a distinct smell of ammonia filled his nose. Somepony seemed to have urinated on the couches...

They wouldn’t do him any good, and he instead searched around the room some more. The floor had been engraved with patterns he didn’t recognize, and most of the doors had been either broken down or slammed shut so hard they were impossible to budge.

Sings had been placed next to the doors, telling visitors what purpose that particular room served, but most of them had been eaten away by rot and mold, and the letters could no longer be made out. In the middle of the room, next to the pile of couches, there was a small room, like a booth placed there for visitors.

A wide sheet of glass covered one of the walls, and a locked door next to it. Lightning looked in through the broken glass, and the moment his snout entered the room on the other side, a horrible smell hit him. Decay and rot. One he’d only felt once before.

The way dad smelled after he’d been…

The smell of death and rotting flesh. Behind it, the smell of ammonia and several other scents produced by the bodily fluids seeping out of the body. Urine, fat, fecal matter…

There was no doubt: a dead body was close by, left to wallow in its own disgusting cocoon of fluids.

The unicorn did his best to not look at the floor inside, in case whoever made that smell... was there. He didn’t want to see another dead body, his father had been enough… instead, Lightning focused on the drawers and bookcases lining the walls. Most had been ripped open and emptied, most likely looted.

Between a couple of shelves, somepony had written on the wall.

You reap what you sow

The words ‘reap’ and ‘sow’ had been crossed over hastily, and underneath them, somepony had instead scribbled ‘rape’ and saw’. Perhaps the pony that wrote the original text had changed his or her mind... Lightning averted his eyes from the line of text; the words made him feel uneasy.

Another line of graffiti came into view, a bit to the right of the other one.

Can you hear them?

In silence they scream

Do their cries fall upon deaf ears?

Alone, their worlds tear on its seams

As they lose their precious years

Can you hear them?

The poem didn’t make any sense to him, yet he felt something inside of him when he read through it. He couldn’t explain it, but he was sure he’d heard these words before; somewhere… the words meant something to him. The more he tried to remember, the more it felt as if someone groped around inside his head.

The stallion was pulled out of his deep thoughts, however, as a loud sound made his blood freeze. A scream. A terrified shriek that made his skin crawl, echoing from far away. He couldn’t make out if it came from a mare or a stallion, mainly due to the fact that it didn’t sound like a pony at all.

Even though he was sure he would regret it, he filled his lungs with air. “Hello? Can you hear me?!” His yell echoed through the empty hallways. “I.. I can help you!”

After a few seconds, another scream answered him. This time, it sounded different, strained.

Buck it... Some pony is out there. Dying, alone.

“Don’t stop screaming!” He called out, and set off into the building without knowing exactly where he was supposed to go. He followed the screams, with a new found determination burning within him. He might be a monster, a killer and a coward. But he would not let this poor pony die. He still had a bit of empathy left in him.

Lightning rushed through the long hallways, and eventually heard the screaming getting closer, louder. He was almost there now; soon he would perhaps meet the only other pony alive in this place. He rounded a corner, his mind filled with thoughts of another friendly face, no matter how bruised or bloody it was. Somepony to help, some sort of purpose in this hell.

He skidded to a stop as he finally found the pony calling out for him. His former determination quickly washed away, replaced by fear. His eyes wanted to close themselves in instinct, the scene in front of him to otherworldly to take in.

In front of him, a pony hung from the ceiling, strung up in strange hoses and tubes. One tube on each leg, with the hooves partially covered by them, it looked as if something was feeding through these hoses. They disappeared into the walls around the pony.

Another scream escaped the pony’s mouth, muffled and distorted due to the mask covering its head. A mask that looked exactly like the one he’d seen earlier, except it was black instead of white, and it didn’t have a green canister like the other one. Instead, a long hose came out of the snout, going downwards, connecting with the pony around its belly.

Due to the mask it was impossible to determine if it was male or female, but as Lightning’s eyes traveled down below the end of the hose, he could clearly see that it was a mare. The poor pony’s legs had all been spread out in the air by the tubes, stretched out and clearly broken.

He didn’t feel any arousal or disgust over seeing the mares reproductive organs spread out in front of him, only pity. What made his stomach twist was the fact that it had been closed shut with metal clamps, creating horrible wounds in her flesh.

“Sweet mother of Celestia.. Who did this to you..?”  He whispered, unable to speak properly.

The mare answered with another scream. He had to help her down, but he was too afraid to approach her. Suddenly, a humming noise filled the room, and the mare began writhing uncontrollable. Before Lightning’s eyes, suction built up in the tubes, and slowly but surely, the legs of the mare disappeared deeper into them.

Lightning could do nothing but watch as the pony screamed in pain. And to his terror, he could see something else, something that made him cry out in dread. Something moved inside the mare’s stomach.

A horrible tearing sound echoed across the room as the clamps got ripped out of her flesh. The tubes had reached her shoulders, and the moment before the limbs broke off one by one, something tore its way out of the mares bleeding body. It fell to the floor with a wet splash as the mare finally split in pieces, blood and entrails raining down upon the creature on the floor.

It moved slightly in the pool of blood and flesh, and Lightning could see something reaching out of the red mess. A small, trembling hoof. He cringed as he realized it was a small baby crawling around in the remains of its mother. His heart split as he watched the poor little foal roll around, covered in blood.

Slowly, he took a few steps towards the foal. His stomach threatened to hurl itself up his throat, but he couldn’t just leave the poor thing here. As the unicorn came closer, the foal opened its mouth and started crying.

Normally, that would be a good thing, a sign that the baby was healthy, but this... wasn’t good. It made Lightning’s head hurt, and he groaned in pain, unable to move. The cry was unnatural, tearing into his flesh. Lightning started to cry as well, his screams mending together with that of the foal.

The bloody foal started to crawl towards him, still screaming. Without knowing what he did, he backed away from it. He thought his heart would stop any second; this was too much, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get away from this… this thing.

He hastily looked around to find an exit. Once he spotted a door to his left, he was sure his ears had started bleeding. Lightning dashed towards it, doing his best to not look back at the pathetic creature on the ground.

The young stallion threw his body against the door, and it slammed open under his weight. And once again, he fell. For some reason, there was nothing on the other side of the door except air. Below him, he could see some bushes approach fast.

At least he would have a soft landing.