The Best Stories Your Eyes Will Ever See

Nick Cage

A fiery comet crashed into the Everfree forest. It was slightly large enough to hold 5 ponies but when the doors opened ponies did not come out instead a man came out and his name was Nick Cage.

Nick was a human who was considered to awesome to keep on earth so he was sent to Equestria.

As Nick moved out of the forest he stumbled upon a small town known as Ponyville. When a purple pony with a dragon on her back suddenly galloped up to him.

“What the fuck are you.” The dragon asked

“ Now spike don’t be rude, hello sir what is your name?” and then with a voice as beautiful as an angels lullaby to a baby he replied.

“ I am Nick Cage.” At this twilight lost it throwing the dragon of her back saying.” Oh Nick please your so rugged, and your voice is beautiful take me now!” she was practically shouting during the end and so Nick cage made out with her.

Next Nick went to buy some apples he saw a pony an orange-coated pony talking with a rainbow manned Pegasus. Nick calmly said.” I would like some apples.”

The mares looked at each other then at Nick and smiled. As the orange one said. “ Sugar cube y’all are about as fine looking as the best red apple how would you like to show me and my friend RD here a good time.”

So Nick Cage showed them the greatest time of their lives.

After he was done with the two ponies he went to the boutique. As he walked in this alabaster mare pounced on him and said in an oddly British accent.

“ these clothes these magnificent clothes rut me and my friend Fluttershy now.” Just then Luna, Celestia ,  Shinning Armor , Cadence , Dave from accounting, and Trixie walked in.

“YOU HAVE BEEN ORDERED TO ALLOW US IN THIS FEST OF CORNICOPIA.” Luna said.

“Ok.” After nick said this shinning jazzed so hard he exploded and Trixie started orgasming so much and so hard she became a literal rocket going up through the roof of the boutique and not stopping until she crashed into the moon.

And Nick gave every one who wasn’t dead the best sex ever.

Except for Dave from accounting, fuck that guy.

As nick was finished Celestia told him that he would now be the king of Equestria as well as captain of the royal guard but there was still one pony to go.

As Nick walked into sugar cube corner he saw a pink pony.

“Hey I am Nick Cage.”

“I know who you are.” At this nick looked stoic like a Greek god basking in glory.

“ You are an evil man you are a horrible excuse for an actor that has somehow become popular on the Internet. I will never fall under your spell I’ve been beyond the fourth wall Nick, I know who you really are it is time for you to die.”

The pink pony finished talking and pulled out a gun and tried to fire but she couldn’t she looked confused as Nick began the most menacing evil laugh ever.

I mean honestly that laugh was a fucking masterpiece.

‘It can’t be helped the second I laid my eyes on you, your ability to resist is futile, now you and this world will be mine.”

As her body began to feel tingly she tried yelling through the fourth wall.

“ No please no, Erebos help me please pull some Deus ex machina, help me help I know you can hear me.

Erebos could hear her and so he sent the only thing that could stop his creation.

Unfortunately Erebos was really tired and instead of sending bees he sent Dave from accounting.

And so Equestria became Nick Cage’s kingdom. And Dave was killed.