I told you to go right

Twilight took the night off early, as did Inferno. Unsurprisingly, Rarity made some...comments on what she thought they'd do. So we mostly ignored her. Drinking my 3rd pint of Sweet Apple Acres cider, I suddenly stopped to consider; where would we be living? I couldn't bear another damn night in the woods, or being unconcious, so we'd need a house. I instinctively turned to the only sober unicorn I knew in town: Twilight. Making it unclear that I was leaving, I slipped past a barely concious Lyra who was laid out on the floor and trotted through town quietly.

Shadows were my friend./The darkness my catalyst./Unto Twilight's house.

Just, ah, a Haiku...I wrote on the spot...yep. Anyway, the moment I saw the library I knew something was going on inside. All of the windows were dark, save the lower floor, where a dim orange glow illuminated condensation-covered windows with a warm light. The door looked closed. Well, no shit there. I decided no big entrance was necessary, and rapped my hoof on the door.
"Come in!" Twilight called from inside. I obliged, pushing the door open slowly.
"Hey." I greeted. Unsurprisingly, Inferno and Twilight had not been having le sex. They had been playing a simple game of poker; the winnings being money. Both looked utterly determined; so determined that both had glasses on and a determined gaze of determinedness. "Got bored at the partying outside, everypony is utterly pissed out of their heads, and I realised that my friends and I have no house."
"Mmhmm." Twilight mumbled in response, not taking her eyes from her cards. "Already been discussed."
"W-What?" I stuttered, utterly amazed that she had already figured it out. "Where then?"
"We're waiting for Celestia to return, right Inferno?"
He nodded in return, pink eyes not even daring to avert from the playing cards. He blew a strand of white mane from his eyes, before putting forward a few bits.
"O...Kay?" I murmured, trotting over to a random bookshelf labelled 'H'. Might as well see what ponies think of humans...
"Hands...hand grenades...horror...humans. There." I said aloud. I pulled the book out,sat on my haunches and began to read its title.

The humans are real let me show you why By Psycho Badflank.

"Psycho Badflank?" I muttered, thinking the name over as to what human thing it may reference. "Flank = Ass...Psycho Badass...Badass Psycho? Christ, another gaming reference? Bloody hell." I made a note to see how many gaming references I come across here, and began reading.

A Foreword by the Author
MEAT PUPPETS TO WEAR! MY HEAD CAROUSEL IS BURNING! NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!
- Psycho Badflank

"Yeah, that guy's nuts." I said quietly. The sound of money being moved around and the occasional 'hmmmm' from either of them punctuated the silence. Undeterred by the rather...odd introduction, I read on.

Chapter 1 - Human Anatomy
HUMANS HAS LOTS UF HEDS I TINK ABOUT NIN AND I NO BECUZ I HAV MI HEAD CAROUSEL TO PLAY WITH MOMA SAYS NOT TO RITE A BUK BUT I'M A NAUGHTY PONY AND I ROTE THIS BUK

"Oh, Christ, I cannot read this." I groaned, putting it back on the shelf. Just before I could ask Twilight why the book was even published, a golden flash suddenly lit up the room for a second, before the sound of paper hitting the floor followed. Twilight got up, a small smile on her face, and levitated the letter to her quite fluently. She removed the golden seal, and read the letter aloud.

My dearest Twilight,
It was of no fault of their own that our new citizens have no place to stay; that was simply my mistake. A building team has been sent to Ponyville, to begin work on a home suitable for those 6 stallions. In the meantime, I expect you to shelter a few in your new home, and I have also sent a letter to Applejack, stating that a few may be staying in their barn. As far as I know, building the new house will take little more than a week. Be sure to send those friendship reports I told you about.
Princess Celestia
(PS: Good luck. Seriously.)

"Hey, that last part was an insult!" I said quite angrily, flaring my wings out. I realised the other part of it, before lowering my wings again. "Dayum. Ebony would probably be making some sexual comment by now."
"So we're staying with you?" Inferno asked hopefully. "Like, in the same house?"
"Yes, but only one of you could actually stay here." Twilight replied, adjusting her glasses. "I only have one spare bed, as far as I know from my limited walk around the house. If anypony else wanted to sleep here, they'd be sleeping in the basement or in here." She said, gesturing to the central room we were in.
"Gladly." I said, opening the door to the basement. It wasn't that bad actually, there was a small recliner in there, as well as a bundle of fabric in the corner. Suddenly, the head of a rat popped out, twitched its nose a few times, before popping back into the fabric. The chair, meanwhile, had what appeared to be a dead raccoon on it. Upon seeing these, I turned around.
"Ahahaha - No." I groaned. "I'll sleep in here; Inferno could sleep on the extra bed if that wouldn't be a problem?" I asked. Twilight nodded, turned to Inferno and smiled.
"I think you owe him one, then." she laughed. "Would you follow me please?"
Just as I lay down on a cushion in front of the fire, I watched Inferno Cloud and Twilight head up the stairs. I could have sworn I saw Inferno mouthing the words 'I owe you one' before I lost sight of him. The warmth of the fire easily sent me to sleep.
Equestria, I thought, It's better here.