I told you to go right

Half an hour later, Brutalight came back downstairs. "Well," she chuckled, "I see you stayed." I raised a hoof in objection as I leaned back in my chair.
"Ahh, I had to, Shiela." I replied calmly. "You woulda cut my 'ead off otherwise. Now why do you want me here, Brutalight?" The purple mare chuckled lightly, and levitated a butterfly knife from behind her. Calmly, she began to twirl it with a calm expression, occasionally flicking her eyes over to me.
"Well, I have a new body." she said. "I think I need somepony to...'experiment' on, if you catch my drift..."
"Get Inferno." I said bluntly. Brutalight gave me a stern glare.
"He is NOT putting a frying pan up my-"
I raised my hooves. "Alright, alright. What do you want me to do?" The alicorn smiled victoriously, before approaching slowly.
"Well, well," she giggled, before running her tail underneath my chin and cracking it away like a seductive whip. I shuddered. "Finally got wise about me, hmm? Not the cold and calculating librarian you thought I was? No. Believe it or not, having these brash and 'up-front' spirits inside me has really boosted my...energy levels, shall we say..." I felt myself being picked up from my chair, and levitated over to the mare. She had an almost predatory grin as she pulled me upstairs to her room.
"Brutalight, are you in heat?" I asked from my upside-down position. She paused, and thought for a moment.
"Nope. I go into heat in spring, like every other mare in Equestria." replied Brutalight. I was promptly placed upside-down on her bed. "Now then; are you going to work?"
luna
Hmm? What's up?
halp plez
Wow, you got Twilight? Lucky boy.
nooo do not want plz halp
Fine. Hold on while I send you to your place.
Brutalight was already in stockings, and slowly advancing up the bed towards me. "Nooo, do not want." I said quickly, scrambling around in my upside-down position. "You'll probably regret this later."
"I know." she grinned. "I like it when you talk dirty..."
"WHAT?!" I yelled as I fell off the bed. I was then pinned down by four hooves, and up above, Brutalight was seductively smiling down. "STO-" A hoof was pressed to my lips.
"Ah-ah-ah...shh..." I received a strangely calming nuzzle. "Don't think; just enjoy it..." And, before any rape could happen, there was a blue flash. I found myself falling...2 foot, and then I smacked my face onto the wooden floor of one of my home's bedrooms. I groaned, and stood up, my wings whirring, beeping, and grinding as they kept trying to catch up. As I stood up, I heard a cough. It was female. Shit.
"Thunder, can I help you with something?" I looked, and reclined on her bed with a magazine was Colgate. She was peering over the top of the magazine, staring as she tried to figure out where I'd even come from. I raised my hat and scratched my forehead with a hoof.
"Ahhh, yeah." I replied. "Why are you in my bedroom?" Colgate grinned in an adorable way.
"Why aren't I in your bedroom?" she giggled, before winking.

Seconds later, she was out the door.
I was NOT in the mood for that behaviour.

The next morning...well, a few hours later, anyway...

I had just finished placing my weapons on new racks in my room, when there was a knock on the door. I frowned, picked up a shotgun, and trotted to the window to see who it was. To my surprise, the front door opened itself, and then closed again. I heard some hoofsteps on the stairs, and my bedroom door opened. Nopony was there. Then, came a familiar woosh sound, and the material of Spy appeared. I rolled my eyes. "Didn't you ever learn to ask before you come in?" I groaned.
"Well, I did." Spy replied, brushing a hoof on his suit. "But I simply choose not to. Some ponies take forever to open it."
"Mmhmm." I grunted as I sat down on my bed. "So what brings you here?"
"You know why I'm here." snarled the Frenchman.
"Nope."
"What?"
"Nope."
"You don't know?"
"Ahhh, nope."
"Well then: Let's just say an old colleague of mine-"
"Oh, you're here about Dok? Sure. He's downstairs getting breakfast. I can take you to him, if you want."
"Erm...OK? How-"
"Long story short, I know where you're from and what you did. Anyway, let's go get some food."

The pair of us sat at the table as the other guys stopped eating, Medic included. Inferno simply stared, but through his shutter glasses. His hat was gone, though. "Who's this?"
"Handsome Rogue." Spy raised a hoof and replied. "I'm here to speak with Med-ahem...Doktor." The others gave him narrow-eyed stares, Medic mainly. Finally, the German understood.
"Spy?" he asked, adjusting his glasses. There was a moment when Spy simply looked Dok over.
"Yes." replied the Frenchman. The German smiled, and extended a hoof over the breakfast table. The two shook hooves, and Medoc began asking questions.
"So, how did you end up here, Spy?" he asked.
"I planned to 'end my own life' by jumping from a building when I botched a contract. Of course, the Dead Ringer was faulty, and I ended up falling through a large electrical portal to here. It was a short while ago I joined Thunder's group, and it turns out none had the skill I had. So, I worked, did a few contracts, and finally ended up meeting Thunder here. I stalked him to here, overheard him mentioning you and a trip to a cemetery, and followed you there as well. It was interesting, watching you gentlemen being...overcome, shall I put it. I was most amused by Solar's stupidity of putting on that hard-hat."
".oot ,uoy kcuf ,lleW" Solar groaned, before looking at the food on his fork. ".nocaB" he said, before eating the fork.
"Mmhmm. So, I decided to follow your hoofsteps, and stalked the graveyard after you left."
"I see where this is going..." I chuckled. "Ninja Spy?"
"No," Inferno cut in, "I got that guy. Why do you think I had two swords this morning?" I blinked.
"O...K...NinjaPanFerno. Right, what were you saying, Rogue?"
"Well," he continued, "I went to one grave labelled 'Speavy', and I knew he was a hero. So, being the selfish stallion I am, I put on his Pip-Boy, Tyrolean, and Mantreads, and was possessed on the spot. I must say, I've noticed that I feel a lot more cheerful."
"I noticed it." I laughed. "How's the clan going to react to...this?"
"Well, I don't know. They're all back at the facility, if you want to come with me to it?"
"Sure." I replied, standing up. "I'll go pack my bags and tell the girls I'll be out of town. Then, we can get rolling."
"But of course." Spy chuckled. "Well, while you do that, I must go deliver flowers to Octavia on your behalf. After all, you won't be seeing her for a while, hmm?"
"Shut it." I snarled over the laughter of the guys. "And besides, I know what you have for Fluttershy." Everypony 'oooh'd' at him, and I could see his cheeks flushing.
"I have no interest in that adorable, pink and vanilla mare with the quiet tone and friendly demeanour!" he snapped.
"I rest my case." I smirked as I headed upstairs.
".hctib, taht ekaT" Solar chuckled, before shovelling his plate into his mouth and making his face normal again.
"Well, I'll see you guys later." Inferno said, getting up. "I have some Shakos to sell."
"Aye, and I have to go explain to the guys on weather patrol why I'm part mechanical." Sky groaned.
"I'm helping Big Mac to plow the field, then cut down some trees." Fire Trail added, there was an audible whir as he got up. "Catch you guys later."
When I came back down a few minutes later, Medic and Spy were stood at the door.
"I'm coming with you." Dok beamed. "My stop is Canterlot, and that's on the way to Crowme, ja?" I nodded, and so did Spy. "Wünderbar! Now let us mach Schnell!" With that, the three of us exited the house and began to head for the train station.