I told you to go right

After what felt like hours, the ancient elevator finally clunked against the cobblestone roof of the small tunnel thing. It didn't seem too old, it just seemed...old. Spider webs hung freely everywhere, torches that died long ago, walls seeming as though they had a thirst for light. Just patting a wall with my hoof kicked up a duststorm.
"Well," Thunderlane coughed. "We made, we're not dead."
"Still have the acid wound." I added in.
"And I didn't trip." Inferno finished. After a moment where we all looked over our achievements, we nodded, before speaking simultaneously.
"None of us have lives." The collective echo resounded through the corridor. I took a glance down it; it carried on for about 3 more metres, before beginning to ascend into a slight incline. However, from what I could see, the end of it was that of a roof, meaning there was no exit.
"Follow me." Thunderlane said aloud, gesturing us for him to accompany him. We went the short distance up the incline, before reaching the roof. Inferno began to ask, Thunderlane promptly answered.
"How are we go-" Inferno started to say, before the sound of stone grating against stone filled the ancient chamber. Thunderlane was straining himself to push up the roof, and it was working. There were slim cracks of light shining through the gap that was forming. I quickly joined in, pressing my front hooves against the roof and pushing with all the might my acid-damaged, young, hunted-by-your-best-friends pegasus body could muster, and was promptly joined by Inferno Clud. He seemed to be pushing harder than I was, I was probably worrying about my wound. Finally, after much grunting and minor cursing, the slab lifted from its socket, and we pushed it to the side. We couldn't see where we were: the light was SO BLINDING. Groaning, I shielded my eyes with a hoof and clambered out of the hole.
"Here we are," Thunderlane proudly announced from my right. "The Throne Room of Princesses Celestia and Luna."
"What..." I froze. Looking around, I saw he was right: guards were stood preparing to arrest us, whilst a red carpet stretched from behind us to a door. On the ground, a huge white marble slab was leaning against a wall.
"Can I help you?" came an all-too amused voice. I followed the strangely attractive voice, and my gaze fell upon the ruler of day. Princess Celestia was sat with her reading glasses on, levitating a stack of papers in front of her in a golden aura. Instead of the 'ok-I'm-quite-angry-now' face I expected her to be pulling, my face didn't melt when I realised she was pulling a 'what-the-fuck-are-you-morons-even-doing-here-never-mind-that-entrance-was-ridiculously-strange' face.
"Hi, Celestia." I said with a bow.
"Hello, you two. Thunder Mustang and Inferno Cloud, was it?" We both nodded. "And who's this?"
"Thunderlane." I replied, pushing him forward slightly. "He led us here after some...issues back in Ponyville."
"I couldn't possibly imagine why." Celestia smiled, rolling her eyes. "Might it have something to do with this letter?" A small scroll levitated from behind the Princess, before unfurling as she looked upon it.
"Yes, it does ma'am." I chuckled, before not-so-subtly shoving Inferno forward. "Inferno, tell the Princess what you did." I sounded like a pissed off parent. Inferno recovered from the push, looked at the floor and sort of...hoofed at it. Celestia simply chuckled.
"No, no, it's quite alright." she smiled (literally) warmly. "I was rather intrigued, however, by the note that one of your friends is interested in me?"

"Aaah, moment Inferno wrote that I died." I sighed, remembering the memories. "Ebony's face equals Priceless."

"So, how was your recent evening with my sister?" Celestia asked as a royal medic began working on my side wound. I couldn't see what he was doing, but I assumed he was stitching it up, then bandaging it.
"Ummm..." I felt my cheeks flush. "...g-good?"
"Did you...enjoy her warmth in the bedchamber?" Celestia slyly grinned, looking innocent.
"WHAT? NO." I quickly replied. My voice was much louder than I'd expected, as it echoed all around the grand hall. "Sorry. But no, why would you ask something like that, Princess?"
"No reason...~~" she sang to herself, before getting up from her golden throne, trotting down the ramp, and over to us. I cowered slightly; she was waaaaaay taller than she was before. Instead of doing some demanding shit, she simply craned her neck and looked at the wound.
"Oooh," she winced, "How did you end up with such a wound?"
"Well, that letter we accidentally sent was extremely embarassing for the others, and so your student, her friends, and my friends began to pursue us. Twilight promptly offered 1000 bits to whoever could catch us. So the whole town formed a herd, charged me, and then I got shot by...magic, I hope. Landed, Thunderlane opened sewers, we went down, locked it, walked for hours, ended up here." Celestia had a rather blank look on her face.
"So...you three walked here for hours, no stopping? That's impressive."
"Yep. Excruciatingly painful for me, Terramorphus sounded like he was hunting for us, Thunderlane knew some secret passages, it was a good day." The princess nodded to the medical officer, who promptly began to pack up. "Is that it?" I asked.
"Yes, it will be." Celestia replied. "Simply leave it for a few days, and it should heal right back up. In the meantime, you are welcome to stay in a guest room in the castle until you will be able to return to Ponyville. After all, you'll need your strength to face that crowd."
"Oh, thank you Princess." I bowed Subconciously. Turns out ponies don't do that of their own volition.
"It's quite alright." she replied, before looking to a guard near the door. "Captain Aerlion Drift!" she called. Almost instantly, the familiar sounding Pegasus snapped to attention and saluted. "Show these gentlecolts to their room!" I leaned over to Inferno as we trotted to the door.
"Swear to god I invented a character with that name." I whispered.
"Whatever. We've got somewhere where we most likely will not be killed and eaten by Twilight." Thunderlane snorted. All three of us turned, bowed, thanked the princess for her generosity, and began to trot after the Pegasus leading the way.