I told you to go right

My mind was in meltdown. I had randomly begun to panic when I received word that Luna was arriving, my throat still hurt from when I choked on my cigar, and I swear I kept seeing a stallion in a suit across the road staring at me through the window. It had gotten so bad that I went to go and sit outside under the stars, awaiting the moment where the Princess would come and sit beside me and do awkward things. The air had a cooling breeze, I could see the Ponyville night-life, and it was a deep purple sky that night. In other words, amazing. It did little to calm me down, though. I sighed, looked down in the street, and the stallion in the suit was still stood there.
Except he was still staring at me. My mind flashed back: I was assertive I'd seen him before. Then it hit me.
"Is that the same guy from the...?" I began to ask, looking up at the moon for effect. When I looked back, however, he was gone. "No, I'm seeing things. I should go talk to Celestia about this."
You should.
What now...?
Ok, what has gotten into you? You panicked a few minutes ago when they said I was coming to the Poker Game, you're panicking over a stallion in the street you think you've seen before, and now you're pissed at me?
I don't know...maybe the last few days have been too much...just...I dunno.
Aw, don't worry. Maybe it's just a simple case of getting my sister to perform that spell again, hm?
Maybe...but I'm still not sure about that...guy. He was staring at me as I left the hospital in Fillydelphia, and now he's followed me to Ponyville. He seems like he's stalking me?
Hmm...I think you're just hallucinating. Maybe you're just worked up over nothing. Nothing a simple massage can't fix.
Why does this always link to that bloody massage...?
Well, I'm looking forward to it. Private meeting in my chambers, no cameras, no paparazzi, no intruders, possibly besides that Mole that Equestria Daily implanted in the palace...
Have you not spoken to them about this? Like, politely asked them to never fucking do that shit again lest you tear all of their heads off and shove them up their asses five times?
I considered it, but they'd find some loophole, maybe creating an article stating that I'm overprotective of you, or something.
Kill them all. No survivors, no magazine, no more embarrassing stories. The end.
See, you're back to the Thunder I know and love.
Love? Princess, what are you sa-
NOTHING.
Jesus, calm down. I was just asking. And when are you going to get here?
When you get levitated into the air and given a million hugs to cheer you up, you'll know I've arrived.
Are you sure it's because you want to cheer me up...?
YES. NO OTHER REASON, IT'S NO BECAUSE, LIKE, I'M REALLY HORNY OR ANYTHING.
Wow, calm do-wait, horny? What have you been drin-
Err...Griffonian Vodka?
Huh. And you're sure you're not drunk?
Yes, certainly. If I was drunk, there would be no escaping my lustful wrath.
Wow, that actually sounds kind of terrifying.
It does, doesn't it? Now just picture every mare in Equestria being like that, and that's an accurate description of Spring Fever.
If that happens here, do you have any advice on how I can avoid getting abused by random mares and mares I know?
Board up your windows, create an underground bunker with 14-inch thick titanium doors, don't be afraid to punch your way out of a jam, and maybe travel in a pack with other stallions you trust.
Ok, that sounds good, but expensive...aaaaand I'm floating. You've arrived, haven't you?
"Yes. Hug time!" Luna giggled, squee'ing directly afterwards and melting my heart. Before I could argue, hooves wrapped around my back, and I was hugged mercilessly. Her cheek was warm and fuzzy as she pressed the side of her face against the side of mine. It was getting hard to breathe, until she levitated me out of her grip.
"If I can make a request," I gasped, "Stop being so adorable when you hug things. My heart just melted."
"Somepony needs another huuuug!~~" she sang, before pulling me forward and hugging me again.
"How long is this going to last?" I asked, trying not to be mesmerized by her warm fur.
"Until you cheer up. You seemed sad, and, according to Cadence, hugs are the best way to make somepony happier again." Once again, I was hugged.
"I think it's because you love me." I muttered, but the muttering fell on deaf ears. Just then, there was a flash of light. Blearily, I began to look around for the blatant camerapony. Even Luna began to look around for the flash's source. Just then, there was another flash.
"Awww, they're hugging!" a mare giggled from inside. Quickly, I looked at the doorway, and sure enough, quite a few more ponies than the girls and my friends were stood with shit-eating grins. It seemed as though most of Ponyville had come to the Library for the spectacle of pissing me off.
"Woah, where the fuck did you people come from?!" I yelled in surprise.
"Twilight, the girls, and your friends invited us!" Colgate laughed. "They said that they were hoping to help you and the Princess go down the Path of Love!"
"Well, tell them they're assholes." I replied angrily. "I'm failing to see the point of this, even if the Princess and I DID end up in a relationship, I'd call this a fucking breach of privacy!"
"Lighten up, Thunder!" Berry giggled.
"You fucking tell me to 'lighten up', I'll get my rifle and lighten your body up by REMOVING YOUR GODDAMN HEADS!" I roared. I stood up, and began walking slowly towards the crowd. They all looked terrified, like they were willing to forget this, but insanity had taken my mind again and wanted to make sure this was etched into their minds permanently. I didn't care about public image now. "You think, ha, you think you can just fucking WALTZ about, intefering with MY LIFE? Back on Earth, I would have fucking hunted you all and skinned you whilst you were still living for such stupidity! But no more. NO MORE. You think I enjoy this shit, you think I WANT TO BE THE FUCKING BAD GUY?! I'll be a fucking bad guy, I will KILL YOU. Then I'll throw you down a fucking hill, and kill you again." Moments of shocked silence followed. Just then, a hoof touched my shoulder.
"Th-Thunder...?" Luna whispered. I snapped my head around, glaring at her. She was on the brink of tears. "Are you OK, Thun-"
"THUNDER ISN'T FUCKING HERE ANYMORE! HE'S GONE, DEAD, LEFT! There's no more friendship. No magic. No nothing, no BULLSHIT!" I shouted in her face. The Princess reeled, back, looked at me, before frowning, standing up, and glaring at me.
"Very well. Be this way, ye foal. But thou must know we art no longer allies." With that, the Princess ignited her horn, and disappeared. I turned to the crowd.

"As for YOU shitbags, I'm going to go and break something, and you'd better fucking hope it's my own neck. Otherwise, the next pony to approach me for conversation, the pony who so much as fucking WHISPERS this story to Equestria Daily or any other magazine, is going to wish that they'd never been born." Angrily, I spread my wings, and flew off to where I could be alone.

So, you got angry with my sister? You realize I now, by ancient law, am able to have you execeuted?
Like I give a fuck. Go shove your execution where the sun doesn't fucking shine.
An attitude like that is actually a valid reason for exile or execution.
I honestly couldn't give a shit right now.
Why? Still enraged? Still angry with yourself for your own lack of self-control? You can't blame Lulu for that, you-
Princess, I have placed my jaw on the barrel of a Dragunov SVD rifle. The rifle is connected to a timer that I have just set. Once the timer ends, a resounding boom will echo around Equestria as a .50 calibre bullet destroys my skull, brain, and head. Everypony who was close to me will not find out until the fuse attached to multiple flamethrowers much like the one I used to clear up the Parasites will set off, burning the homes of your student, the Elements of Harmony, my friends, and several other randomly selected citizens and homes, killing them without even giving them a second thought. And, if you don't believe me, of course, a makeshift crossbow is levelled at Ebony Chopper's head, held by my own hooves. Before the timer ends I will have fired the steel spike into his skull and killed him. You have 60 seconds to give me a reason why I should stop the timer.
You're bluffing, psychopath. I'm sending gua-
Send guards and I will wind the timer forward to the end. 55 seconds.
Ok, ok, I'll play your twisted game. You and Luna have known each other since her return almost a year ago. You were there for her when she attempted to kill you and your friends whilst under Nightmare Moon's influence. Even then, you still found the goodness in her heart, and kept the Nightmare from completely controlling her, right?
All the more reason to do it. 29 seconds.
OK, OK, listen, I've seen the way you look at her. The way she looks at you when you're together. You are one with the night, you made my sister welcome when all other doors slammed, and in return she treated you like the brother she never had-that I never had.
15. Fucking. Seconds.
Listen to me now, Thunder. You're just hunting for attention. Put. The. Timer. Off. Now.
Timer set forward 3 seconds. 5 seconds.
Think about what you're doing, Thunder! It would shatter her heart forever!
That's the point! 3!
I know you're angry, just sto-
2!
You're like my brother, don't do it! Plea-
1! Fuck YO-
Stop what you are doing, Mr Mustang. Stop, and smell the ash storm.