I told you to go right

After avoiding patrol after patrol after patrol of guards for what felt like 3 hours, I made it to the corridor where Luna's chambers were situated. Quickly, I flew up onto one of the marble ledges covered in foliage that easily concealed me. After 4 minutes, I was assertive that I had not been detected, and peeked my head out of the plants to observe my target. The large door was defended by two guards, who were, as usual, being casual. They seemed to be on alert, though, so I crawled back into plant cover.
I could cause a distraction. Maybe throw a loose rock or something down the corridor? Hmm...what was that thing you did in 007 Legends? I don't have a silenced weapon, laser watch, or dart gun. Maybe I could distract them, then when one goes to investigate, distract him further and further from his partner, before leading his partner away? Nah. Lead one to face the other way, knock the one out behind the other, then knock the one in front out? Hmm. Was that how 007 did it? Yeah, I think it was, I dunno. Anyway, first things first: distraction. Damn, I wish I had Jason Brody's throwing capabilities with rocks...
I looked behind me, raising onto my hooves slightly so I could find a rock. Or, in this case, a dead pigeon.
"Shit. How long did he spend formulating a plan?" I whispered to myself. Deciding to figure that out later, I pulled the skull from the skeleton as quietly as I could, my hoof making a barely audible clok sound as it removed the bone. I gave it a few tosses into the air before catching it with my hoof, before taking aim down the hall. Juuuust to the plant pot, that should do the trick. I thought. I counted to three, before grunting quietly as the tiny bird skull soared down the corridor. It flew quite far, before dropping down next to the plant pot. The tiny clack alerted the two guards, as I'd hoped.
"Huh. You hear that, Scorch?" the one on the left asked.
"Damn right, I did." Scorch replied, both looking to the source of the noise. "Serrated, you go check it out. I've got you covered." Serrated attempted to argue, before admitting defeat and trotting over to the pot. Scorch, however, didn't seem to be covering him, just idly glancing about. Neither were wearing helmets, presumably due to it being warm, so thus it was easy to see their manes, necks, and heads, also making it easy to knock them unconcious. I edged across the top of the ledge I was on, before silently gliding to the top of Luna's door. It had a large edge, making a small platform for me to stand on. I went above Scorch, took a breath, and leapt down on top of him. Surprisingly, there was no clanking sound as the stallion was forced to the ground, muffled, and subdued. I didn't even think I would be able to do that. Whatever: I still had Serrated to take down. Quietly, I got up from the limp Scorch, and began to sneak towards Serrated. He was still looking into the plant pot, until-
CRAK.
I punched him right in the neck, he let out a muffled cry of pain before I punched him again and shut him up. As he crumpled to the floor, I stood up. I looked at my hooves, then at the two guards, then back at my hoof.
"Nailed 'em." I whispered, pumping a hoof and biting my lip. I then remembered: where am I gonna hide these two? I suppose I could put them back in their original places and make it look as though they passed out...or I could knock on Luna's door, then claim I found them like this? Yes. I dragged Serrated over to the doorway, before putting him in the recovery position. I remembered it from scouts. Kind of. Once he was in the recovery position, I reached a hoof out to knock on the door, then paused. I was just about to knock, when the door opened anyway. Luna was just about to walk out, until I stopped her.
"Luna, your guards are unconcious, they need medical attention, I don't know how I got here, and I need help doing CPR on this guy!" I said quickly. She frowned at me, before looking at her guards and groaning.
"I'm still not forgiving you." she huffed. "But these guards are in need of medical help. So, I'll help you, before throwing you in the dungeons for breaking and entering Canterlot Palace. Are we clear?"
"Yes." I sighed. Immediately, I stood up. "Try to keep these guys alive, I'll go get a medical officer or two. Where's the infirmary?"
"Down the hall, to your left, 4th door." Luna quickly replied. I nodded, spread my wings, and began to fly down the hall. I took a sharp left, then counted the doors.
"Ok...1...2...3...4! Ok, good." Quickly, I folded my wings, performed a sort of safety roll, and got to my hooves. I pushed the door open, then ran to a nearby doctor. He didn't seem to be doing anything, except...wait, it's the doctor who fixed my wi-
"YOU?!" he shouted in surprise when seeing me. "Wha-what are you doing here?!"
"Not important! There's two guards unconcious down the hall, they need help! Princess Luna's doing CPR on them, I think, so hurry!"
"Err, ok? I'll get my gear...?"
"Good, go outside, take a right, then another right. You'll see the princess or me there, so make it quick!" Just before the doctor could saying anything else, I flew back down the way I came, and saw the Princess. She just seemed to be slapping Serrated in the face quite cautiously. I landed just beside her.
"Yep, he's on his way." I said. I sounded quite out of breath. I ignored it, before sitting down beside the Princess.
"You're still not forgiven." she muttered.
"Yeah? What if I were to give you details about a plot by Discord to escape his stone imprisonment?" I asked. She stopped slapping the Guard, stood up, and looked at me. I stood up. The medical officer ran up behind us, before bowing, then beginning to perform CPR on the two guards.
"Follow me into my quarters." Luna sighed. Turning, opening the door, and entering, the Princess ushered me inside and slammed the door behind me. After a moment, she spoke. "What were you saying?"
"Okay. You know I said about that creepy stallion that's been following me around?"
She nodded.
"Well, I've taken to calling him the G-Stallion, and it turns out he's part of some cult. A cult that plans to bring about the return of Discord, or 'Lord Discord', as they called him."
"Oh, no..." Luna groaned, facehoofing. "This happened a few years after we took over from Discord, a group of extremists tried to break his stone imprisonment. They succeeded, up to his neck, before my sister and I sent them to rot in the dungeons for treason."
"So this has happened before?"
"Yes. How do you know about this?"
"That stallion managed to do the same thing Cadence, your sister, Shining Armour, and yourself have being doing over this year. He went into my mind, believing my insanity was a moment of weakness, and 'convinced' me over to their cause. Of course, Discord joined the conversation, and he's a nutjob, so I obviously bullshitted them in saying that I would help them. Their plan consisted of me breaking into the statue garden, and chiselling a part of Discord's stone prison, so he could break free."
"Not exactly elaborate. Their plan last time was much flashier..."
"If you say so. Anyway, there may be some cultists roaming the city, possibly even in the castle, so you'd need to find them."
"Well...it seems as though an ancient cult has risen again, you've fixed your mind, and have betrayed that cult's trust to regain my own." Luna gave me the once over with her gaze, before smiling. "It looks like you're back to normal."
"Yes, I suppose so." I sighed. "Apology...whatever you want. Hugs, party, massa-awww, dammit." I facehoofed. Luna, meanwhile was giggling.
"I'll take the last option, if you don't mind."
"Yep. Just say the word."
"The word. Now get on my back and give me the best massage you can possibly perform."
I did just that. The Princess had already removed her regalia, got onto her bed, and lay down. So, it was my job to try not to get a wing boner and give her a massage. Cautiously, I straddled her back, and placed my hooves on her shoulderblades. Slowly, I began to move them in circles.
"So...friends?" I asked quietly.
"Friends." she replied. "Just the way it should be."