Batmare and the foal wonder!

Still. Inert. Unmoving. Stagnant. Deathlike. These all described the state of the Bat-Train. But not lifeless, no, there was something there, some entity that could be felt more than seen. An indescribable presence infused the train, gave it powers, gave it a purpose. It sat in its' resting place, as it had for months, defying nature to do it's worst.

Its' attention suddenly focused as it sensed a being, no two beings approaching. Were these the chosen ones? Those who would take it to its' final destination? It stared with a thousand non-existent eyes as two ponies approached. Ah, the blue unicorn mare and the brown and white foal! This is it! These were they who would allow it to fulfill its' ultimate purpose, the very act it was created to commit! The entire existence of the Bat-Train boiled down to today, it had no other uses but to delay one pony.

"Th- the Bat-Twain?" Pipsqueak stuttered.

"Indeed, Pip, this machine-soul will take us to Batmare, and your parents."

"But, I don't know how to dwive it, do you?"

"One does not drive the Bat-Train, it goes where it is needed of its' own volition."

"How do you know these things, they're kind of scary!"

"You have no idea what true horror is my friend, it's better that way. We, unfortunately, have gazed too long into the abyss that is the Bat-Train, and have by our error discerned its' true nature."

"Okay, now I'm reawwy scared!"

"Do you want to help save your parents?"

Straightening up, Pip steeled his nerves as best he could and marched right up to the Bat-Train. As he climbed the ladder into the conductors' booth, Poison Joke smiled and shook her head in pity. If only he knew what it meant to enter the cabin of such a thing, he would run screaming. Steeling her own nerves, Poison Joke followed suit.

"Okay, Train, we're both on board, you know what to do."

The stifling silence was broken by a distant rumble as deep in the coal pit an unearthly heat source began to glow.

Jokmare entered the cavernous chamber with her faithful student, Horseplay, at her side. Following behind were the other villains, Mr. Cool being pushed by Two-Tone, as he was still restrained. Slowly they made their way toward two giant cages hanging from the ceiling. The long chains allowed the cages to hang mere hooves off the ground, translating any movement by the prisoner into an hours long swinging session. The brown mare in the cage with her husband had already succumbed to motion sickness. Passing that one by, Jokmare instead made her way to the cage her sister currently occupied.

"Well, it beats the moon, does it not, sister?"

"I have no sister, it's Batmare to you!"

"Oh my, so angry! Perhaps you had a little too much time up there after all." Jokemare tapped her hoof on her chin, pretending to be apologetic.

"You think you're so funny, but this isn't over yet. I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve."

"Oh, your little friends? We thought they might try something. In fact," a wicked grin split Jokemares' face, "we're counting on it!"

"What are you going to do? Leave them out of it, you already have me!"

"You're right, I do have you, but I'm not done with you... I want you to watch what happens. Then, when you're broken, I'll simply let you go." Laughing  the most classic evil villain laugh she could muster, Jokemare began to walk away.

"No, noooooooooooo-" Batmares' protestations were cut short by a tremor. "Did anypony else feel that?"

The answer was not long in coming, for the tremor repeated, stronger this time, and when it failed to subside a gleam appeared in Batmares' eyes. The rumbling earth began to shake violently, small rocks cascaded from the ceiling. Soon it was all the villains could do to keep to their hooves, the convulsions had become so powerful. With a final, concussive explosion, a metallic behemoth burst forth from the floor, launching itself into the air before crashing down directly in front of the assembled evildoers.

The grill glowed like the embers of the fires used to torture damned souls, the eight headlights slanted at such an angle they gave the impression of an angry arachnoid elder god glaring from the darkest recesses of space. The remaining metal batwing accents had melted into unrecognizable formless limbs, yet still they seemed to be reaching, grasping...

With a soul-shattering shriek, Polar Mare turned and fled from the room, sobbing. Mr. Cool, still affixed to his chair, attempted to scream through his duct-taped mouth. Despite the limitation, his horrified holler shattered the fishbowl, causing glass shards to explode outward from his head. Finally he slumped in his confinement, unconscious. The Bat-Train, unmoving, somehow managed to smile; 'Two down'.

"Behold," The Great and Powerful Poison Joke posed atop the demonic thing, "the Bat-Train!"

The others proved to be of sterner stuff, however, it appeared they would have to be dispatched manually. Jumping from the train, Poison Joke landed in front of Two-Tone. Pipsqueak clamored down the ladder as best he could. Right as Two-Tone landed her first blow, however, the door to Batmares' cage sprang open. The zebra jumped in surprise as the mare she had hit sublimed into vapor. In its' place, a poison joke flower floated, right where Two-Tone had hit.

"No....Noooooooo!" Two-Tone screamed as she turned completely grey. Staring at her hooves in horror, she curled into the fetal position on the ground. "I cannot be just.... monotone!"

The Happy Hatter ignored all this as she stood apart from the rest, her considerable attention was entirely focused on one point. Before her was the Bat-Train in all its' unholy grandeur. This, truly, was a more colossal conflict than even the alicorn sisters might represent. Two beings not entirely of this world, who laughed at the so called 'laws' they contained. Two depraved forms of what they tried to represent, two entities not really defined or even fully understood. The perverted pony glared at the tainted train, and the train glared back. This was it, this was its' purpose.

Ignoring the two currently inanimate objects, Horseplay cast a magical beam at Poison Joke as she jumped away from the cage. The two mares faced off.

"Hm, just like old times, eh, joke?"

"Not quite, we've learned a few new tricks since then, horse."

"You sure talk the same. Why don't you show me what you've got?"

"With pleasure."

Poison Joke gathered her energy and sent a lance of magical light speeding toward Horseplay. Nonchalantly, the purple mare yawned and cast a simple shield spell.

"Your magic is as weak as ever." Horseplay scoffed as the beam deflected harmlessly away.

As she lowered her shield, however, it imploded, shocking the purple unicorn and singing her fur.

"It would seem you underestimated us," it was the blue unicorns' turn to scoff, "even a novice can detect a simple feedback spell, even one ponybacked onto a light beam!"

The two unicorns once again squared off, slowly circling each other, looking for a weakness.

As soon as the cage door opened, Batmare leapt at her white counterpart, but to no avail. The two powerful alicorns were evenly matched in strength and speed. For one to best the other would be no simple matter.

"This ends now." Batmare declared.

Jokemare narrowed her eyes. "I couldn't agree more."

Suddenly a flower appeared and squirted water in Batmares' face. By the time she cleared her eyes, Jokemare was prancing away from her, laughing hysterically. Growling with anger, the dark mare pursued her nemesis.

The small dragon carefully climbed into the conductors' booth of the 'Train'. Horseplay had given him very specific instructions, and he intended to follow them through. After all, there was a meal in it for him! Walking slowly, since he had to steady himself every few seconds, he made his way to the coal pit.

The jarring interruptions were caused by a pink pony repeatedly bouncing on, biting and bucking the train. Although her attacks did no damage, she persisted, with an enthusiasm born of sheer joy.

"I'm gonna getcha train, if it's the last thing I do! Wheeeeeeee!" the Happy Hatter cried as she slid down the cattle guard.

For its' part, the Bat-Train stood its' ground, just as planned all those years ago. More importantly, it refused to be damaged, keeping the pink pony perpetually occupied. But wait, what was that? Another presence, in the coal pit? No, it couldn't be... a dragon!

Lifting the glowing ember jewel from its' resting place, the dragon lustfully licked his lips, this one looked delicious. With a quick motion he ate the stone in a single bite. Groans of protest emanated from the locomotive, but there was no otherworldly source to the sound, unless you counted a certain pink mare. The mighty belch Spike unleashed was the death knell, the Bat-Train was no more.

The situation was going just about as well for Batmare, the 'water' her sister has squirted in her eyes turned out to be some kind of pepper spray. With her eyes swollen shut, she could do nothing to fend off Jokmares' attacks. Finally, with a mighty blow, the alicorn of the sun knocked the dark mare to the ground. Smiling in the way that a tiger does, as it approaches a prey it knows is defeated, Jokemare stood over her enemy, triumphant.

"And now, my dear Batmare, you will witness your ultimate undoing."

"Do your worst, villainous scum!"

"Where is that sidekick of yours..." Scanning the room, Jokemare finally noticed Pipsqueak, who had made his way to his parents' cage and was currently hugging them as best he could through the bars. "Ah, there he is!"

"Don't you dare hurt him, I will have your head!"

"Tut-tut, Batmare, so violent, I do hope you haven't rubbed off on little Pip too much." Now looking at Pip, she continued. "My dear Pip, do you love your parents?"

Turning away from the cage, a fierce Pipsqueak faced the devious mare. "Of course I do."

"Well, if you say that I am your favorite princess, I'll let them go, unharmed!"

A flabbergasted Batmare gasped in disbelief, slowly her vision was returning. "That's what this is all about? That's why you created all these villains and kidnapped Pips' parents? You didn't want me to have even one pony who liked me better than you?"

"All except that fishbowl one, apparently he's just addicted to nitrous oxide somehow. And dear sister, of course I did all that, I can't have you getting ideas above your station, now, can I?"

Sighing in resignation, Batmare whimpered. "It's okay Pip old chum, you can say it, I understand."

"NO!" Pipsqueak shouted as he stamped his hoof. "You are not my favorite pwincess, you're mean! I'm going to beat you and save my pawents!"

Sighing in mock disappointment, Jokmare turned back to her rival. "Oh well, I can always use his parents to make some glue. What do y-" BLAM!!!

The thundering echo reverberated through the cavern. Everypony within the space paused and stared in shock, even Horseplay stopped biting Poison Jokes' horn.  Instantly Jokemares' pupils constricted to pinpoints, then disappeared as they rolled up inside her head. Batmares' vision finally returned in time to see her sister fall to the ground, unmoving. Pipsqueak stood behind the fallen white alicorn, his right hoof extended, trembling. He stared with horror at the grappling gun, his only weapon, a damning cord leading from it to the back of Jokemares' head.

"My son... what- what have you done?" The white stallion in the cage stood, shocked.

The brown mare sobbed, "My baby, oh my poor baby..... he's a good boy, really he is!"

Pip slowly turned his head to look at his parents. "Papa.... Mama.................Mama............."

(To be concluded...)