Princess Celestia and I are sitting side-by-side in the royal flying carriage, traveling away from Canterlot Castle and heading towards Manehattan. Her royal adornments have been polished until they shine unrealistically, and her quad-colored mane and tail smell strongly of lavender shampoo. "You look wonderful, Princess," I say.

"As do you, my dear Twilight." She gives a small smile as she glances over my Grand Galloping Gala dress.

"T-thank you...um, Princess," I stutter. My thought processes amount to something like: Oh no I'm blushing I shouldn't be blushing right now why am I blushing stop it face stop it stop it stop it!

"Please, call me Tia. Friends don't need to call each-other by their formal titles." Her eyes stray to the window.

"Okay...Tia." The word feels strange in my mouth.

'Tia' stares thoughtfully out the window, head in hoof. "I can't believe it's your twenty-first birthday today, Twilight. Where did the time go? It feels like just yesterday when I enrolled you in my School for Gifted Unicorns..." She lets out a sigh. "I thank you for letting me be with you tonight, Twi. I really should be writing a letter to the embassy of Neighpal right now, but I got bored." The princess turns to me and smiles. "Let's keep this our little secret, alright?"

I nod, smiling back, as a silly thought crosses my mind. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" After I finish gesticulating, the two of us break out laughing. If only Pinkie Pie could see us right now, I think.

We start to talk a little more, Celestia and I. The topics are fairly boring in the beginning, but then escalate quickly into things like how Rainbow Dash and Rarity went shopping the other day, Dash resisting with all her being; how Celestia spent a late night watching a "Parks and Recreational Areas" marathon on PGTV and forgot to rise the sun in the morning; and how embarassed I was on my fourteenth birthday to have my mother throw a huge party and forget to invite my friends. I haven't felt this close to Celstia since I moved to Ponyville.

Finally, in the middle of a conversation about a giant Zap Apple, we arrive in Manehattan. The city below us is positively exploding with activity, the windows and streetlights giving off a radiant yellow-ish bronze that brightens the night considerably. I roll down the carriage window and stick my head outside, enjoying the cool breezes rushing past my muzzle and the subtle scents of the dark air. "Wooooo!" I scream, loud enough to be heard over the flapping of the pegasi pulling our vehicle. "It's time to party!"

Tia chuckles as I pull my head back inside. "What happened to you, dear Twilight? You were so tame moments ago."

Using my magic, I pull a small, yellow book out of my pocket dimension. "Turning 21: A Guide to the Beginning of the Rest of Your Life," I say, reading off the title. "These are the guidelines I plan on following tonight, and I've already accomplished numbers 13 and 24: 'do something crazy,' and 'Invite one of your closest friends to your party."

"You were always one for having guidelines," says the princess, an amused smile plastered across her face. "Very well. What's the next item on the list?"

I flip a few pages. "'Number 15: Get drunk and brag about it in the morning. Make sure to leave your chariot keys at home, or else blah, blah, blah.' I'm kinda looking forward to this one. I mean, I've always wondered what alcohol tastes like. Not because I plan on making it a habit, but so I can satisfy my natural curiosity."

"Screw natural curiosity," Celestia blurts, rolling down her window. "Alcohol is delicious." She shouts a set of orders to our drivers, something about heading to Sophisticated Cider, and pulls her head back inside. Something appears to have triggered in her mind that wasn't there moments before. "If there's one thing I can tell you about getting intoxicated, it's that there's no reason to brag about being drunk once morning rolls around."

The ride doesn't last long. Before I know it, we're setting down in front of a black, two-story establishment with columns of grey marble adorning the entrance. Ponies are being ushered inside by an intimidating unicorn bouncer, some of them being turned back with a stern frown and a bad word. All in all, it looks as though this establishment is more of a fancy restaurant than a bar. When Celestia and I step out onto the pavement, everypony in line bows reverently and moves aside, refusing to make eye contact with us as we enter the building. This is it, I think, trying to swallow my nervousness. No backing out now, Twilight.

The inside of Sopisticated Cider is ten thousand times more chaotic than the outside. In fact, I think the owners are using a reverse psychology tactic to lure unsuspecting ponies in. Crowds of inebriated patrons waltz all across the room, singing and dancing to the mild electric beat until they pass out in their own drool. Most of them are so intoxicated that they can barely stand on four hooves, yet still somehow they still find the strength to hold a beer bottle. Even the DJ, Vinyl Scratch, looks rather tipsy. Her rap lyrics are frequently interrupted with hiccups, burps, and lewd statements.

We canter over to a corner of the establishment that isn't occupied by knocked-down tables or vomiting earth ponies, settling instead for a stand-alone, pay-per-drink table laden with every kind of alcohol imaginable. Captain Maregan's, Pone Cuervo, Mexicolt Tequila and Arborial Mist are just some of the few prestigous names before me. As for pricing, the value in bits of each shot is listed on the table, and to make sure that ponies don't take advantage of Sophisticated Cider, the small ATM/kiosk off to the side is monitored by a security camera. I start to get my bag of bits out, but Celestia stops me with a hoof on my shoulder. "I really don't think they'll make us pay, Twilight," she says. "After all, I am the princess of Equestria. I can always pay them back later."

"Are you sure, Tia? I don't really want that much, just a few drinks. I have more than enough to pay for it."

"Well, you can't possibly have enough bits to compensate for what I want." Celestia reaches over and grabs a shot glass, filling it to the brim with the contents of a bottle labeled 'Decorum' and downing it almost immediately. "Ohhhh yeah..." she moans, tongue lolling out of her mouth. "This is sooo much better than the wine they serve in Canterlot..."

Oookay, I think, sending my money back to the pocket dimension. She's acting kinda weird...But hey, I might as well take her up on her offer. Using Captain Maregan's in place of Decorum, I eagerly repeat Tia's actions, tilting my head back and trying to swallow the entire shot at once. The smoky and sweet flavor of the rum is not entirely unenjoyable, so I slam the glass back down and refill it. After several minutes' worth of this cycle, I start to realize that my mind is beginning to cloud over. The feeling is akin to being dazed from a minor fall, but a pleasant sense of warmth in the background makes it enjoyable. With the enthusiasm of a newborn puppy, I toss back another glass of rum, accidentally letting some of the liquid drip down onto my chin. As for Celestia, I take no notice of the lecherous glance she is aiming at me. I am completely oblivious of her intentions to lean over and lick the dribbling alcohol off my neck.

Before she can do so, however, an explosion of pink barrels into me, sending both me and my glass of Maregan's crashing to the floor. It's hard to make out the shape exactly, but I appear to be staring up at the Element of Laughter. "P-Pinkie?" I stutter. "What the fuck? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Ponyville!"

The pony in question lets out a laugh of extreme proportions, nearly shaking her party hat and sunglasses off. "Silly filly! I always come here on Thursdays!" Pinkie Pie rolls off me and aids me in getting to my hooves. "Oh, and before I forget again, happy twenty-first birthday, Twilight!"

"Th-thank you," I hiccup, putting a hoof to my mouth in an attempt not to belch loudly. Pinkie's presence made this drink-fest feel more like a party, and I was glad she was here. "Did you get me any gifts?"

"Of course I did!" She sets a paper party hat down on the table, one that looks exactly like hers except for the color scheme. "Here ya go!"

"...This is a party hat, Pinkie," I say, deadpanning. "And from the looks of it, one you just picked up off the floor. I was expecting something more along the lines of, you know, a book."

Pinkie makes a face. "Well, I wanted to get you something practical, Twilight. What would you do with a book?" She lets out another gigglesnort, reaching up to fix her sunglasses. "I mean, you can't wear a book on your head. can you?"

I roll my eyes.

--Sometime Later--

It's been at least an hour or two since we arrived at Sophisticated Cider, and Celestia, Pinkie and I have been drinking nonstop. Over this short, insignificant period of time, my brain has slowly deteriorated from slightly inebriated to full-blown, drop-dead drunk, and I'm really enjoying it. I think I might just have to add alcoholic to one of my hobbies.

"Wheee!" shouts Pinkie, jumping atop a flimsy wooden table and beginning to disco dance. "Come on, you two! Join me up here!"

I laugh. That seems like a great idea to me. Dancing on a tabletop is a lot more fun than dancing on a dumb old floor! Where's the fun in dancing if there isn't a challenge to it? "Ohkay, Pinkieeee," I slur, clambering up onto the unstable surface, "Dancing is sooooo much fun!" Celestia soon follows suit, and within a minute or two we're rocking our pedestals back and forth, threatening to tip over at any moment.

Four herculean earth-ponies appear out of nowhere, dressed in dark black suits and wearing miniscule ear pieces. "Get down from there!" they shout, advancing on our trio from all sides. "Your Majesty," says one, "get down from there immediately or we shall be forced to remove you and your friends from the premises! Also, you haven't paid for your drinks yet!"

"Nurrr!" she slurs, even more loaded than I am, "I'm not...going...anywhere! As (hurk) Princess of E-Equestria, I can do whatev I want!" Her dancing becomes even more animated, wobbling the table left and right.

And, almost as if on cue, her pedestal tips over, slamming her muzzle-first into the hard concrete. "Ohmygosh, Tia," I say, leaping off the table and staggering to her aid. "You okay?"

"Nrr. Nrr 't all," she mutters, sitting up and shaking her head. "Less get out of here!" She quickly pushes her way past the beefy guards, kicking one of them on her way out, and Pinkie and I follow close behind, avoiding tackles from the staff and dodging drunken patrons who try to stop us. When we finally make it outside, smashing into the line of ponies by the front door, I watch Celestia search anxiously for the carriage. "Whurr are they?!" she screams, stomping her hoof. "I'll have their (hic) wings!"

"Quik," I shout, nearly crashing into her as I grind to a halt, "run into the wuuds! Run into the wuuds!" At my ridiculous suggestion, the three of us turn around and head into the nearby park, crashing through the shrubbery and away from our pursuers.

Pinkie Pie, pulling aside me, lets out a belly laugh. "This party is awesome, Twilight!"

"I knurr!"

Author's Note

The flashback begins...

In case anyone isn't clear on this, Twilight has told her friends that she will be spending the evening with Princess Celestia instead of throwing a huge party at her place. As you can see, however, Twilight ends up sending time with them anyways.

Let the drunken stupidity ensue~