Last Friday Night

Once, when I was in third grade, all of the unicorns at my school took a "physical examination." Princess Celestia wanted to make sure her young prodigies would be able to practice magic on the run, so she set up a series of obstacle courses in the gym that would be used to asses our physical well-being and mental acuity. Our coach, a large, obnoxious earth pony, made us run around the track at least seventeen times; but before the seventh lap was finished, my mother had to come take me home and nurse me back to health.

This particular memory comes to mind as I'm laying in the cool, tickling grass of St. Herbal's Park, wishing that I had suggested to do something other than get drunk. If I hadn't wanted to get drunk, then I wouldn't have had too much to drink, and if I hadn't had too much to drink, then I wouldn't have been dancing on a table, and if I hadn't been dancing on a table, then I wouldn't have got kicked out of Sophisticated Cider, and if I hadn't got kicked out of Sophisticated Cider, then I wouldn't have been pursued into the park by a set of guards, and if I hadn't been pursued by a set of guards, then I wouldn't be laying in a park in the middle of Manehaatan, exhausted to the point of collapse. So far, Turning 21: A Guide to the Rest of your Life, has not been very helpful.

After a minute or two, I realize that my near skin-tight dress is not helping me cool off, so I use my magic to yank it over my head and throw it to the side. Of course, if I was lucid, I would have realized that you can't take off a dress while laying down, but I'm not, so naturally I hear a loud ripping noise as it goes flying away. Uh-oh! Guess Rare'll just have to fix it tomorrow.

Now sufficiently cooler, I bring myself to a sitting position and search for my friends. Pinkie Pie is nowhere to be seen, and the thought that she might have gotten caught crosses my mind. Princess Celestia, however, is nearby, and she's laying face down on her stomach. Small sobs are emanating from her general area, and when these reach my ears my heart drops in my chest. "Tiaaa," I slur, climbing shakily to my hooves, "whass wrong? Why are you crying?"

I make my way over to her, slowly and unsteadily. She appears to have taken off her royal adornments and laid them aside; they appear to have lost their luster. "Twilight," Celestia says, surprising me, "I'm so sorry." She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "If I (erp) had paid for those drinks like you (sniff) l-like you said, then none of this would've happennnd at all! W-we'd probly be back in Canterlot now if I hadn't...hadn't..." And she goes back to crying.

This entire speech has broken my heart. Falling to my knees, I tenderly put a hoof on Celestia's back, trying to comfort her in this rare moment of sadness. "Tia, there's no reason to cry. We'll get through this, I kno we will. Isnn that what you used to tell me, Princess? Two's better than one...er something like that?" I use my magic to wipe the tears fom her eyes. "I'm not really worried 'bout getting home now. I already toll my friends I'd get home tomorrow morning, so we've got a while. Iss still my birthday, isn't it?" I smile at her.

A small smile comes to her face. "Yeah, it is. Even iff it's the weidest party I've been too." Celestia sniffles a bit. "Thank you, Twili. I needed that." Without warning, she leans down and plants a small kiss on my cheek, making me flush scarlet. "You arrr, and always will be, my favorite student."

It hits me, then. Like a ten-ton freight train packed full of lit TNT that has a one second fuse and is heading straight into a bomb depot.

My 'infatuation' with her is definitely more than an infatuation.

And I think she likes me back.

I am no longer laying side-by-side with the object of my affection. Instead, I have been rather rudely thrown into the land of memories, walking down the path labeled 'Princess Celestia.' Things flash by me: my enrollement into her magic school; the time we went on a fieldtrip to the Canterlot Library and she had to drag me away from the bookshelves; the night at the Gala where we had almost no time together. Each and every time we've been in close proximity, I've felt something far stronger than the bond I have with my friends. I...want to be around Celestia, every moment of every day...forever.

"Celestia," I nuzzle her neck gently, trying to get her to look down at me. "Do you...uhmm...what do yu think of me?" I need to know if she feels the way I do, and now is as good a time to ask as any.

She frowns for a moment. "I already told you--yer my favorite student, Tw--"

"No, not like that. I mean...do you...like me?"

Her eyes go wide, and she blushes. "Well...to be truthful..." She turns away, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular. "Y-yes, Twilight Sparkle. I do like you. Your purple coat, an cute figure...Part of the reason I sent you to Ponyville was so I wouldnn drool over you so much."

I am ecstatic. Beyond ecstatic, really. It's more of a euphoria than an ecstasy. Regardless, my speech organ has failed me, and all I can do is lovingly stare at her. My first thought: I wonder how jealous my friends'll be...

Celestia picks up her crown, using her hooves instead of magic, and places it on my head. It's too big for me, of course, but I don't really care that much. "Well, Princess Twi," she says, grinning, "What do you wanna do now? It is your birthday still."

I put a hoof to my chin. "Uh...How about we, I dunno, go for a run?" This thought comes to me out of nowhere, and I start to wonder why I just asked to do something I'm horrible at.

Neverthless, Tia nods her assent. She leaps to her feet, wobbling a bit, and I follow suit. "Running" she says, chuckling. "I could go for a run. How far ya wanna go?"

"As far as I can!" My hooves take off with a mind of their own, leaving the Princess in the dust. She lets out a laugh and charges after me, crying foul.

After today, I think I just might have to take up exercise. Without the fear of being caught by guardsponies, the run is much more exhilarating than I thought it would be. Benches and shrubbery veer into our path, forcing us to change course and go in another direction. Close-trimmed trees and grasses rustle gently as we pass by, swaying to the frantic whims of the midnight zephyrs. Frigid ponds and streams reflect the beauty of Luna's moon, turning the still water into a pool of liquid silver.

It's at one of these wonderful ponds where I grind to a halt, panting for air and waiting for Tia to catch up to me. I wonder where she is? Celestia seems to be taking her own, sweet t--

"Gotcha!" Princess Celestia tackles me from behind, sending us tumbling head-over-heels into the water. I only have time to scream momentarily before my head goes under.

FWOOSH! Water. Water everywhere. It fills my ears, my eyes, my nose, and my mouth. When I come up for air, spluttering and coughing madly, Tia is floating in place across from me. She's got a hoof to her mouth, trying to keep from busting a gut laughing. "You should've seen the look on your face, Twilight!" Her snickering and snorting is contagious, and I soon find myself laughing just as hard as she is.

After a quick splash fight, during which Tia's crown is knocked off my head and I have to retrieve it, we decide to quit horsing around and climb out. Celestia wades over to the far bank, stepping out onto the grass, and I follow closely behind, wobbling on unsteady hooves. As I'm standing there staring at her soaking wet mane, my vision strays to her abalster flanks, tracing her sun-shaped Cutie Mark with my eyes and then moving further down. I know I shouldn't really be doing this, but for Luna's sake! It's staring right at me!

Before I can bring myself to look away, Celestia notices me looking at her shapely white rump and smiles. She puts on her most seductive face and wiggles her plot back and forth, tri-colored tail flicking through the air in an attempt to hypnotise me. "Like what you see, dear Twilight?"

This is simply too much for my brain to handle. Her feigned innocence and pouty face are making me drool, and before I know what I'm actually doing, I lunge forward and crash into Celestia, knocking her to the ground. Our muzzles meet in a sloppy, imperfect kiss, lacking neither passion nor slobber, and we wrap each-other in a tight embrace. Tia's wings go rigid all of a sudden, spreading out behind her with a large 'POMF' noise.

"Hey! What'cha guys doing?"

My eyes widen, and I look around. Pinkie Pie is standing across from us, staring at us with curious eyes. "Pinkie Pie?!" I half-scream, scrambling off of Celestia. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Pfft. Trying to find you guys! You're a stealthy bunch," she says, wagging a hoof at us. I'm instantly reminded of our noisy run through the park, but then I think It's Pinkie Pie. "Since your chariot got lost, or stolen, or whatever, I decided to go look for help!" Her smile makes is considerably brighter than the sun.

"Well, did you find any?" asks Tia, trying in vain to force her wings back down to their non-POMF size.

She falters. "N-not exactly, but I did get directions to a train station. That way, we can get you back to Canterlot, Celestia, and I can take Twilight home with me! Doesn't that sound great?"

"Actually, Pinkie," I say, putting my hoof on her shoulder, "I'd kinda like to stay in Manehattan for a while. At least until morning."

"Ookay...and do what?"