Friendship+Magic=Total Crap

"Look I'll figure it out alright!? Just quit bugging me and let me watch the god damn football game!"

That's how it usually goes every Sunday morning. Right in the middle of a Bengals game, my parents call me into their room and interrogate me about my choice as a major. My answer was usually an astounding "I don't know! I've been thinking about it but I still can't make up mind." and to be honest, this wasn't far from the truth. I wasn't lying, or making up excuses, I really had no clue about what wanted to do with myself.

Damn. I graduate in a few weeks and I STILL haven't made a decision! What the HELL am I going to do now?

The problem is simple: I don't have ANY apparent talents or exceptional skills in any field I could think of. I'm no good with my hands, I can't really play a sport effectively at 145 pounds, with most of it being skin and bones, and I'm terrible with other people. Life can be a real asshole like that.

Meh. I still have all day to figure it out! And why would I stress about it now when the Bengals are winning!

That night

I am so FUCKED! Why does this have to be so damn hard?

I know what you're thinking. Well get y'alls minds out of the gutter perverts! Another day spent searching and I came up empty. By then I knew I was in a lot of trouble. My parents wanted an answer NOW, and their looks of concern and anticipation had transformed into glares of disappointment and scorn.

Football analysis is a bust and becoming a vet takes WAY too long! I laid there, in my small bed, staring a hole in the ceiling of my small room BEGGING god to give me a sign. What was originally worry had become a case of full blown panic and desperation was kicking in. I needed advice from someone and I knew just the person to talk to. Maybe Brody will have a good answer. He's usually good with crap like this.When I realized that my roof wasn't a very reliable source of information, I finally forced myself to close my eyes. All I have to do is get a push in the right direction and the rest should be a cinch! I thought confidently, before drifting off to sleep.

The very next day.

"Dude your fucked."

Brody didn't have a single clue on what I should do next.

Brody was a pretty reliable friend when you needed someone to vent to, and an even better friend when you needed someone to make you to cheer you up. He was also pretty good with advice. Key word here is WAS.

"Maybe your just not good at anything." He suggested, looking down at me with nothing but a shrug as consolation for my worries. Walking to Braums after school was a daily routine we took part in almost everyday, and I spent the small trek explaining my situation to him. I could tell he had really put some though into his answer and, to be honest, I couldn't blame him. "You'll figure it out. I mean, how hard could it possibly be?" he said, pushing his way past a set of glass doors into the small restaurant.

Maybe he's right. taking a seat at the nearest table, I thought about the situation I had put myself in. If I had a little more time, maybe I could figure it out.But I knew better than to think that more time would help. I had all year and I spent it watching DEXTER. I don't know why I watched it, but I knew that I wanted to watch this guy burn. Hey I don't give a damn if he only kills the bad guys. He COULD just *Sarcastic gasp* arrest them!

"Dude are you alright?" Brody asked, giving me a weird look. "You've been staring at the wall, for about, five minutes now.

"Yeah yeah. I was just thinking." I replied, looking at the clock. "I'm just worried about dealing with my parents again. They REALLY hate Mondays."

Later

Did I already say that they hated Mondays? They really REALLY hate Mondays.

"Caleb you don't have enough time to be messing around!" My mom shouted, as she scrambled around the room, getting ready for another 12 hour shift at the hospital. "We can't afford to have you constantly changing you major."

"Yeah I know this already." I muttered, leaning against the door way to her bedroom.

"No Caleb you don't. We still have to help your brother get through college, and your sister is gonna be in high school in another year!" She obviously wasn't to happy about my lack of urgency. "*sigh* Look your father and I have been talking about it, and we've made up our minds. If you don't make a choice by the time you graduate we're gonna have to kick you out."

"WHAT!?" And I thought my week couldn't get any worse. And it was still Monday! "Graduation is in half a month! Where am I gonna live!? I can't afford to go out on my own!"

"That's not our our problem Caleb, It's your problem. We've givin you MORE than enough time to figure this out, but you wasted it watching TV and playing on your stupid ass Xbox!" She cried in frustration, pushing her past me in a rush to get to work. "You have two weeks buddy. so you better get to work." she stated, as she made her way out of the front door.

SLAM

And with that the conversation was over

Uh oh.

Uh oh indeed.

2:47 AM

That night had been a complete disaster. After several hours spent looking for a decent choice as a career, I had to give up the search and go to bed. Normally I wouldn't have trouble falling asleep, but this was an entirely different matter. I was scared. No just worried scared, but SCARED scared.

Is this how my illustrious career at Mcdonalds begins? With me getting kicked out into the cold, unforgiving streets? Of course I was being a little dramatic but, with the problem I had, I thought it was fair for me to be a little dramatic.

Falling asleep that night, I prayed that god would "throw me a freakin bone" and give me a little help. Of course, we all know that God has a VERY sick sense of humor.

3:56 AM

Lucid dreaming wasn't exactly an area I excel in, but I have to give credit where credit is due.This dream was amazing.

The sky itself was filled with stars surrounding a moon, larger than I remember, that shone overhead. I had "awoken" in a small clearing surrounded by a forest, that seemed to be glowing in the moonlight. Except for the occasional hoot of an owl and chirp of a cricket, the forest was calm and quiet. I could only sit and stare, wide eyed, at the sight. "Wow. It's beautiful." I whispered, trying to take it all in.

"Of course it's beautiful! I made this night with my own two hooves!" A proud voice said, sounding very much like a grown woman.

Sitting a few feet off to my right was... A horse. Not a normal eat grass, look stupid and poop kind of horse, but an oddly mystical blue horse with a hint of amusement apparent on "her" face. Not only did this thing have a look intelligence, but a beautiful set of wings and a glorious, ivory horn to boot. On her flank sat a black spot, adorned with a crescent moon.

"Hey buddy my eyes are up here! I know I'm pretty bucking sexy but you need to control yourself." She said, with a sly smile spreading across her snout. "Now allow me to introduce myself. I am Princess Luna and I have to come to answer your prayers my little...uh human." she finished, after a little thought.

"W-WHAT the hell ARE you!?" I exclaimed, dragging myself a few feet away from the royal equine. "WHERE am I?"

"Well I'm a pony or, to be more specific, an alicorn. A mix between a pegasus and a unicorn. As for WHERE you are, This is the land of Equestria." She said, before pointing a hoof towards the forest. "That is the Everfree Forest. Home to Equestria's deadliest creatures. So I suggest you keep it down."

With a flick of her hoof, and a flash of purple light from her horn, she materialized a large, red apple. "I understand how stressful this can be." she said calmly, before taking a bite of the apple. "I'll keep you safe until get things worked out." swallowing a mouthful of apple, she looked at me with anticipation. "So?"

"What?" Oh god why a big pony? Why not AJ Green or Kevin Durant?

"Don't you have any questions to ask about my magical little world?" She asked, taking another bite of her apple.

"Am I dreaming?" I asked stupidly, staring at the pony, who I believed was a horrible figment of my imagination.

"Ha! That's your question? Well there's only one way to find out!" She exclaimed, hurling her half eaten apple at my face.

Pop!

She got a perfect headshot.

"Damn." I mumbled, wiping bits of apple from my head. "This is all real?"

Luna nodded, giggling at my reaction to the apple assault. "Yup!"

"Why did you bring me here? HOW did you bring me here!? I asked. I wasn't liking this at ALL. In a forest, alone, with a large magical pony and a forest full of carnivorous, and possibly magical, monsters? Stranger danger anyone?

"I saw the whole thing. That back and forth you had with your mom was tough to watch." She answered, pointing a hoof to her head. "And, as a my duty to watch over the night, I help those who deserve a little aid. As for how I did it, I can only answer that by saying magic."

"So you brought me into the middle of a monster infested forest for what exactly?" Looking around the forest, I couldn't really see any signs of life. The occasional bird would fly overhead but nothing life threatening. "Couldn't you have summoned me somewhere a little more SAFE?

"Nope. Since this forest has no magical signature, I got your here without a problem!" Luna said proudly, "There isn't a SINGLE unicorn in all of Equestria who'll know what happened here today. Let's just hope my sister doesn't overreact to this."

Standing on all fours, she walked over to me and plopped herself down a few feet in front of me. "You, my little human, have a decision to make." She said, jabbing me with a hoof. "You need to decide if you want to stay here."

"Why would I want to stay here?" I asked, mentally questioning this pony's sanity. " I can't just leave my world!"

"Do you have a real reason to stay there? I've seen how your parents are and I know they've already made a decision." Luna replied, waiting for a decent answer.

"Not true. All I have to do is choose a decent career and everything else will be a cinch!" I replied unconvincingly.

"Caleb."

"After that I'll get married, have a bunch of kids, and settle down somewhere."

"Caleb!"

"I can't believe I'm even worried about any of this!" I exclaimed, standing up and raising arms in a terrible show of false bravado.

"CALEB!"

"Alright alright! FINE. So how is this gonna work anyway? I'm not exactly gonna fit in with my godlike body." I said crestfallen, gesturing to my amazing body. "Where am I gonna stay anyway?"

"You're gonna have to find yourself a place to stay but I'll gladly point you in the right direction." With a smile, Luna began walking in my direction. "As for your body I know what to do. This is gonna hurt a little so hold still."

"Wha-"

SMACK