Friendship+Magic=Total Crap

In the very beginning there was, of course, nothing. And then there was a small, lonely planet consumed by chaos.

Dragons were the first to come to this conclusion. Though they were a tough and capable species, the wild weather and unpredictable migration patterns of there prey nearly sent most of the dragons into starvation. At a harsh time such as this, it was quite rare to see two or more dragons together, especially when they were not ripping each other apart for territory. Though they would see a more fruitful time in the future, they endured these harships and claimed their spot atop of the food chain as the apex predator.

As time passed the three pony races came into existance, with unicorns being the first to walk the earth. Unicorns were said to have been born from the very flame that burns so fiercely inside a dragons chest, giving them a mystical horn capable of powerful magic. With that magic, the unicorns made themselves a small niche in the world underneath the shadow of a tall mountain, hidden from their tormenters. With their magic to aid them in their conquest for survival, the unicorns managed to make several habitable homes across Equestria and flourish.

The earth ponies where a strange sight to behold, especially in early Equestria, with their origin being based on several vague bits of folklore. But I will tell you what I know. A young unicorn, husband to a beautiful mare baring two foals, had taken up farming to feed his family in this terrible world. Yet, no matter how hard he tried or how much magic he poured into the soil, he was unable to produce a crop capable of feeding his precious family. His wife was starving and scared, so he fled to the local village to find someone gifted in the arts of magic. Although his search was fruitless at first, he finally met an old hermit, who had been spending the last of his days in a small hut. The hermit was sympathetic to the stallions plight, as he had seen many families suffer the same fate on his journies. The hermit did have an answer to the stallions plight, but it would come at a terrible cost. The stallion happily accepted the proposition and led the hermit back to his dying farm. Once they had arrived, the hermit ordered the young farmer to pick up a rock. The stallion was confused at the the hermits demand, but the stallion answered his questionining look with a cryptic quote, saying that "the rocks would remember", and ordered the farmer to smash his horn and spread the pieces across his land. Though it was a very painful endeavour, the farmer did as he was told, and watched with amazement as the very land he stood on began to shine in a beautiful shade of green. Though the farmer or the hermit never lived to tell the story to more than a few young adventurers, they left a wonderful mark on a cruel world, in desperate need of a little wonderful.

Don't think I forgot about the Pegasi. I'll get to that later on.

Around this time, a powerful being was in control and it was not a pony. Instead, it was a physical manifestation of chaos itself. A being that liked to call itself Discord. Although no one could truly call him a murderer, his actions led to the suffering of all those that lived, including the poor little ponies. As an immortal, it was very easy for him to claim his spot as the ruler of Equestria, especially when the citizens could hardly care for themselves, let alone fight an immortal being. With torrents of chocloate milk and stampedes of disfigured animals, he was having the time of his life. Yet, in the back of his mind he knew this would not last forever. He was a tyrant, but he was no fool. He knew that chaos could not exist without harmony, and vice versa. It would come in a way that no one expected, on the backs of two regal ponies.

The first, a beautiful alabaster alicorn, would come in a brilliant ray of sunlight. With a pink mane to match her pink eyes, she traveled this troubled world with a bounce in her hoof and a smile, as radiant as the sun, on her snout. With her she brought the elements of magic, happiness, and kindness. .

Traveling to a small village, that would eventually become ponyville, she was met with a sight of suffering. Worn down buildings, starving ponies, and the occassional body. She knew that she would have to do something and she would have to start by leading this town to salvation. But no one welcomes a madpony who walks into town babbling on about salvation! She had to prove it and she knew just the way to do it. The first official town meeting Ponyville has ever had.

But thats a story I'll have to save for another time. I believe it's about time you woke up

"Hey. HEY! Wake up!"

Whatever it was that was yelling at me, it was basically punching me in the back of my head. "Hey buddy when the timber wolves come I won't be able to grow you a new set of legs. Get up! GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!!" Wow that voice was really fucking annoying. "You think I'm annoying now? Wait until I start using the royal canterlot voice!

"Alright I'm up! Just give me a second." My arms and legs had gone completely numb and it felt like my head had a bad date with a hand grenade. "Why are my arms numb? Did you do anything to me while I was asleep?"

"I WAS tempted to. You DO look pretty adorable while your asleep." the voice joked, chuckling at my misfortune. "And you don't have any arms."

Opening my eyes I noticed something pretty strange. I didn't have anything fingers to flip Luna off with! Oh cruel fate!

"Oh god I thought you said this wasn't gonna hurt that much!" I groaned, shoving my face into the nice, cool dirt. "What did you make me anyway?" I asked, with a hint of excitement creeping into my voice. "I bet I would be pretty bad ass with a pair of wings!"

"What kind? I made you a nice, simple earth pony." She said, examining her hoof. "Wow. I could really uses another hooficure. And a back rub!" Stretching herself out, she gave her wings a quick flap." My wings are killing me!"

"Could you at least tell me that I look good?" I was pretty desperate for something to be excited about, and, just like any other insecure little girl, I asked about my looks. Hey can you blame me? I like to look good.

"Pretty average if you ask me. Brown mane, brown coat, and a decent set of green eyes. That's all I'm giving you. Now get up!" With a might tug of her hoof, she dragged me up on my four, shaky legs. "You need to start practicing or we're gonna be stuck out her for another night. And, as a princess, I'll make your life a living nightmare if I don't get to bed in a few hours."

The next hour that ensued was pretty damn awful. After several face plants I did manage to get the hang of it, but I looked like a walking seizure. " You'll get the hang of it. Now we need to work on a name." Finally, something I can work with! " How about the destroyer! Or Fireburst! Or you could even make me a prince!"

SMACK!

"Owwwwwww. That hurt!" I whimpered, rubbing the side of my face with a hoof. "Why would you do that?"

"This is serious. I can't have some crazy pony running around Equestria telling ponies that he is a prince. Though Rarity would just eat that up." She said, scratching her ear with a hoof. " We need to work on getting you a believable cutie mark." She said, pointing to my, surprisingly bare, flank.

"What?"

"All ponies have one to represent their talents. BUT since you HAVE no talent badly I'll have to give you a temporary one until then." Wow. Way to kill my mood. "I'm thinking puppy? Fluttershy would just love to have someone to talk to about animals!"

With a small glow emanating from her horn, Luna created my puppy cutie mark. It was very simple, with the the outline of a small puppy chasing a bouncing blue ball.

"Would she let me stay with her for a couple of days?" Luna gave me a quick nod, pointing to a small section of the forest with a stream flowing by. "You follow that stream and you'll find your mare! Good luck. And try not to die on me after the first day" She said, walking away nonchalantly.

"WHAT!? You're leaving already?"

"Yeah. I can't watch you forever! Just follow the stream and don't be a total pain in the plot when you meet her. She's a real sweetheart." Luna said, staring into the forest. "You won't be any trouble will you?" Luna asked, giving me a very dark glare.

"N-no! I'll be as nice as possible!" I replied sheepishly, with a smile. "I'll kill her with kindness."

"Good! If your lucky maybe you'll GET lucky." She said slyly, readying her horn for a long distance teleportation spell.

"What!?"

"Who said that!" She joked, looking around for the non existent, cheeky culprit, before disappearing in a bright flash of purple.

Crap.Staring into the forest, that had gotten about a thousand times more threatening, I looked at the winding path the stream took. See Cal- I mean Greenlight? Perfectly safe!. With one timid step, I began my journey through the forest.

5 Minutes Later

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!"

Not even ten minutes into my epic quest and I pulled off having a panic attack. You should have seen that frog though! It was gonna kill me!

After a short time "sprinting" like a maniac, I forced myself to take on a steady trot. Ok Greenlight the danger has passed. Lets just focus on finding Fluttershy!. Walking next the stream, I finally had a chance to actually LOOK at the forest I was so afraid of. Tall green trees, the typical wildlife you would expect on Earth, and even a few cute, little rabbits. It was like a piece of Earth had followed me here to my new home. I was actually starting to like it.

Snap!

"Oh god! Don't fuck me up bro! Don't fuck me up!" Taking off in a dead "sprint", I began making my escape.

Now when I say sprint I don't actually mean sprint. My legs were still sore, my head still hurt a bit, and I couldn't get a good walk down properly. It was more like a mix of a fast walk and a heart attack. My legs were flailing everywhere, and I wasn't moving any faster than before.

"Sprinting" my way through a large opening, I noticed a small tree sitting on a hill. This tree had windows, a nice little garden and even a door! Finally! Salvation!. Racing past a few confused animals and a very angry looking bunny, who was waving a paw at me, I dove straight through the door and shut it behind me.

"Ha suck it freak! Lets see you get in here now!"

Knock knock knock

"I'm not home! Go away!" Genius Caleb. This guy will totally leave now. "I don't want any cookies!". After a few seconds of silence I began to relax a little....Until I noticed something yellow trying to climb through the window. "Trespasser!" I shouted. With my body trembling in righteous fury, I tackled my assailant and pinned him to the floor with a hoof.

My....whimpering assailant.

"I-im sorry m-mister! Please d-don't hurt me!" She cried, with tears pouring out of her of her aquamarine eyes. Daaawwww she was SO CUTE! The poor thing was hiding her tear covered face behind her long pink mane. Small and scrawny, the mare had a small set of wings on her back to magnify the level of cuteness she had reached. Did Luna ever say if Fluttershy was a pegasus? Nah! Theres no way this is her!

Examining the poor mare I had just tackled, I finally noticed the cutie mark that sat on her flank. Three butterflies. Oops.

"Is your name Fluttershy?" Please say no please say no please say no. "Y-yes." she whimpered, still sniffling as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

Ha! And Luna thought I was gonna get lucky!