Friendship+Magic=Total Crap

Jail......Pony jail.

With a loud slam of a plastic tray, an angry Trixie took her place at the table in between me and a twitchy, snow colored mare.

"Prison." Trixie whispered to herself, as she sat down and rested her weary head on the hard surface of the wooden table. "And Trixie thought that she couldn't sink any lower in this Celestia forsaken world."

Did I feel bad for her? Not really. Sure, the other prisoners were creepy as hell, but the food was great and the place wasn't that bad! I would try to help her get out of her funk, but it usually ended with me on the floor and in massive pain. So I just let her be. But Equestrian prison wasn't exactly something I would hate coming to every once and a while. Hell I might even reserve a cell as a place to get away from it all.

Replace the harsh, stone walls of a human prison with marble walls and wooden floors, take the iron bars away from the windows, and swap out the the typical prison food with a decent salad, a small pastry, and a mug of hot chocolate and you've got yourself a prison for ponies. To top it all off, the typical prison yards that I had come to expect had been replaced with a serviceable park! Green grass, blooming flowers, and a few trees surrounded the place and I'll be damned if they ever kick me out of here.

I'd already finished my mug of hot chocolate and I was in the middle of relieving the sulking magician of hers when I noticed just how far badly her confidence had crumbled. While I took a few sips from her blue mug, I gave my partner in crime a quick glance. She's a mess. I thought, as I examined a withering form. Mental images of the crying mare at our short time at the hotel wormed their way into my mind, as I sat examined her withering form. Even then, she at least had the energy to throw me out, but this wasn't sadness or depression. It was hopelessness and submission. Bummer.

Her fierce eyes had lost their luster, she couldn't afford to bail herself out, and she didn't even put in the effort to clean herself up anymore. Our stay hadn't exactly been long, but it was taking its toll on the mare and she didn';t even bother to hide it anymore.

There was only one thing left to do. "Trixie.....Hey Trixie....TRIXIE.......Hey....Hey." And so began the childish routine of prodding her shoulder and repeating her name. Over and over and over again. "Trixie....Trixie....Trixie....TRIXIE!"

With a sudden twist of her head, the enraged mare nearly almmed her face against mine. She had a nasty snarl plastered on her snout and crazed look in her eye seemed to scream murder. "WHAT!? WHAT IN CELESTIA'S NAME DO YOU WANT!?"

"What's the matter with you Trixie?" I asked, wiping flecks of spit off of my snout with a brown hoof. "You're shutting down on me. We've only been in here for a few days, but you've spent all that time sulking."

In a weak attempt to comfort the mare, I gave her trembling shoulder a reassuring pat, but the gesture was met with a glare and a swat of my hoof. "Nothing's wrong! Trixie is just fine!" She hissed, before she sat her head back on the table.

"Ouch." A scratchy voice muttered. "What's her problem?"

Ah yes. Twitchy. As pleasant as she was to be around, she was far from good looking, to say the least. Her white coat was constantly drenched in sweat, her worn out horn often gave off the occasional spark, and she had a bit of a problem, when it came to twitching. And I don't even want to start talking about those bloodshot eyes. I feel bad for thinking about it, but I'm glad that she keeps her goggles on most of the time.

"It's a long story." I replied

The mare cracked a large, toothy grin and gave a quick flip of her messy, blue mane. "I've got enough time for a long story."

"Fiiiiiiiine." I groaned, before I let out a sarcastic sigh of exasperation. "Well it all started a couple of days ago when this sexy mare decided to crash my welcome party.

Four Days Ago....

The party, that was once filling SugarCube Corner with happy conversations of laughter, had died down to angry whispers between ponies and a painful amount of tension. The mares at the table all turned to find the source of the familiar voice, only to see the face that had caused so much grief in Ponyville.

"Darling, you've just made a very big mistake." Rarity stated, with more than a little hostility seeping into her icy voice.

"The only mistake Trixie made was coming back to this back water town." Trixie spat, standing her ground against the glares and the silent threats. Ignoring the growing hostility, she gestured a hoof towards the door, obviously in a hurry to leave before things got any worse. "We have to go, Greenlight. There's a train coming in and we'll be able to reserve a few seats if we get there NOW."

And everything after that? I hoped that leaving this town wouldn't be much of a hassle. Just leave the bakery, get to the train station and make it to Canterwhatever. Easy right?

Swiping a cinnamon roll and stuffing it into my mouth for safe keeping, I pushed myself off of the wooden chair and made my way to the door. Just a few more steps and I would've made it to my target, but something purple decided to impede my path. "I'm sorry Greenlight, but this isn't a simple matter of leaving. The damage to Ponyville cost most of us a fortune and she has to suffer the consequences."

"Consequences?" I didn't like where this was going. I don't think I have the stomach for an execution. I thought, as a trickle of sweat wormed its way down my forehead. "Can't we just talk about this over a cup of tea?"

My only comfort came in the form of a gentle hug from the sex crazed Fluttershy. "I'm sorry honey, but she has to pay for the damage herself, or go to jail.....If she doesn't resist, that is."

It couldn't have been that much? Right? "Well how much is it? Two hundred bits? Three hundred bits?"

Twilight ran a nervous hoof through her mane, as she mulled over the damage that was caused on that fateful night. "Well there was the upturned trees that had to be removed, the water tower, the cost for a few injuries and the removal of the ursa minor from the nearby forest. So I'd say about thirty thousand bits." Twilight replied, with a small blush forming on her cheeks.

Uh oh. Money. Money that I didn't have! Civility and reason were definitely out of the question. "Can I at least talk to her? Maybe I can get her to come quietly." The group at the table nodded, and a few party goers appreciated the simple solution.

Just be smooth. No sudden movements. With a strut that could put most pimps to shame, I made my way to the anxious Trixie and put a reassuring hoof on her scrawny shoulder.

"Trixie?"

"Yes Greenlight?"

"Run."