Mass Hysteria

Chapter 8: The "Perfect" Stallion

Applejack

As she stormed out of the farm house to let go of her anger Applejack ran head first into a light blue stallion that had been stepping onto the porch. She thought about stopping to help him up but she was still upset, so she only gave him a passing glance. He seemed to get back to his hooves by himself just fine, so Applejack turned back to facing forwards and headed for the barn so she could go nap in a hay pile for an hour or two. A hay nap always managed to calm her down, she didn't know why, but it did. When she settled into the biggest hay pile she heard a knock at the door, forcing her head up out of habit.

"Who is it?" Applejack asked, sounding as annoyed as she actually ways. She swore if it was her brother or Rainbow that was...

"Soarin?!" Applejack asked suddenly when the light blue Pegasus' face came into view, making her back away in surprise. He looked down at what she was laying on and a sly smile crept across her face.

"Going for a roll in the hay, eh?" Soarin joked, earning himself a kick in the gut for making a comment like that. He gave her a victorious smirk before leaning over to help her up, showing that he could still be a gentlecolt even after saying something so crude. Applejack accepted his hoof and got up, making sure to pull him to the ground in the process.

"Hey!" Soarin whined as he pulled his head out of the hay pile, pieces of it sticking out of his mane at wild angles, "What was that for?!"

"Nothin" Applejack said with a grin, showing him that she was just messing around, "So what brings a fancy pants Wonderbolt to a small town farm like this?" She had a point, and Soarin couldn't deny it. It was certainly odd for somepony who's face was known across Equestria to go all the way down to a small farm that was known only because of the crazy things that have happened there.

"Well, I heard from a fairly reputable source that a certain pie making mare was looking for a coltfriend" Soarin said, winking at Applejack as he gave her a cocky grin, "So... Is the position still open?" Applejack gave him an unsure look, but inside she was smiling. She was just a farmer, and he was a Wonderbolt, for him to be going after her felt like a gigantic compliment.

"Hmm..." Applejack thought as she tapped her chin with a hoof, making Soarin give her a confused look, "I think you'll have to prove yourself first" Soarin's cocky grin came back as the challenge registered in his mind. He wasn't one to back down from a challenge, especially not when it came to a challenge that a mare gave him. Applejack looked around for a minute as she thought about what she could make Soarin do first, her eyes finally settling on all of the bucking that her and Big Mac were supposed to do that day.

"I need you to buck some apples for me" Applejack said, a sly grin growing on her face. She really thought that he wouldn't take the challenge and back off, but he met her with a cocky grin and a tap on her flank.

"Deal, but remember, there's a different apple I could be bucking right now" Soarin said with a toothy grin when Applejack went to kick him, but missed because of how embarrassed she was that he made a comment like that. While he walked away Applejack made a mental note to get him back for that comment, and of how toned his muscles were...

Pinkie Pie

Downstairs in the kitchen Mr and Mrs Cake were being bombarded by the sound of two ponies, or a pony and a draconequus for that matter, running around upstairs. Or they hoped they were just running around, with how fast the thumps were coming down to their ears. At one point Carrot wanted to go and see what they were doing, but Cupcake held him back, warning him that he may not like what he'd see. Soon enough though the thuds sunk into the background noise and they were able to ignore it, happily oblivious to what was going on upstairs...

"Higher! Higher!" Pinkie cheered as she bounced up and down, landing hard on Discord every time just before she bounced right back up. Each time she came down he grunted, which only made her cheer more. After at least an hour or more of bouncing Pinkie was tuckered out so she flopped down onto the bed next to him.

"That was so fun" Pinkie panted, "Although you were really hard at first"

"That's because I wasn't expecting you to use me as a trampoline" Discord complained as he cracked his back, every vertebra popping as if he had bubble wrap in his back. Once he was fully stretched out Discord flattened out on the bed, literally becoming flat, which allowed Pinkie to roll over and squish him.

"You're awesome Discord" Pinkie said as she hugged the piece of paper that was Discord.

"I know" Discord said happily as he popped himself back to normal, surprising Pinkie enough for her hair to frizz up. After she fixed her hair she laid next to Discord, who then preceded to make a paper cone appear out of nowhere, which he used to scoop away part of her mane, which had become cotton candy. She looked up at him like he was crazy, but then again, so was she, so she moved up and took a bite of the candy cotton for herself. When they finished the cotton candy the two of them dozed off to sleep, cuddling each other as the day came to a close.

Rarity

Rarity continued to wallow in self pity as the day went on, not wanting to move from her spot on the bed. She couldn't find a single stallion in the entire town that even came close to what she was looking for in her perfect stallion, how was she going to love with herself now? The one pony that had even come close to meeting her standards turned out to be a mare in the end, and one that was in a relationship! After all of that she just couldn't live with herself.

"Rarity, are you in there?" a familiar voice shouted up from the front door, making her snap out of her thoughts. What was Spike doing here at this hour? Rarity quickly looked over at the clock to see that it was only five in the afternoon, which meant she had spent the daylight rolling around in her bed while she cried. With a heavy sigh Rarity headed downstairs, opening the door with a feigned curiosity.

"Spike, what are you doing here so late?" Rarity asked, doing her best to hide the fact that she had been crying from him.

"It's only five..." Spike said as he looked at the clock on the wall behind Rarity, "Anyways, I wanted to see if you were okay"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Rarity asked as her eyes looked back to see the time for herself, forgetting what time it was even though she had just looked at it before coming downstairs. To her surprise it was now seven, meaning two hours had gone by, just like that. Rarity felt a weird feeling of loneliness come over her, making her visibly shake. Spike noticed it so he stepped forwards and blew a small ball of fire into his hands.

"What are you doing that for?" Rarity asked as she looked down to see the small ball of green flame burning bright in the purple dragon's grasp.

"You shook so I thought you were cold..." Spike answered bashfully, his cheeks flushing, "It's just something I've been working on for a few days" Rarity smiled and bent down to give Spike a kiss on the cheek, which surprised him enough that he made the ball of fire disappear. He tried to get another one but he was so surprised by Rarity's little kiss that he couldn't remember how.

"How about you just come in and share a warm fire with me?" Rarity asked, nodding towards her old fireplace that hadn't been used in years. She had been planning to take it out, but never got around to it, and now seemed like a good time to use it. Spike's eyes lit up as he ran towards it, quickly tossing a few old logs in and lighting them up, the heat quickly filling the room. As he stood there admiring his work Rarity came up behind him, using her magic to wrap a light blanket around the two of them.

"Thank you Spike" Rarity said as she sat down next to him, the blanket forcing the two of them close together.

"For what?" Spike asked innocently, not knowing what had happened earlier that day.

"Oh, nothing..." Rarity said as she leaned against him, causing him to snap upwards out of shock. After a few seconds he calmed down, just enough for the two of them to enjoy the warmth of the fire in complete relaxation.

Fluttershy

Outside Fluttershy's cottage there was a sea of stallions, all of them hoping to get inside so they could try and make her their mare. Inside there was a terrified Pegasus and a horde of small animals planning to go on the offensive, with Angel being their commander. It seemed silly, and Fluttershy was trying to calm them down in between meeps, but nothing was working. Just before they could finalize their plans shouting could be heard from outside.

"What are y'all doin' here?!" a familiar sounding stallion shouted, "Why is everypony attacking Fluttershy's house?!"

"She's single and needs a coltfriend!" one of the mob members shouted at the stallion.

"Yeah, and we all want a piece of that fine Pegasus a-" the third stallion never got to finish his sentence as the sound of Fluttershy's mailbox impacting with his face caused a deafening silence to fall. Some confused whispers could be heard coming from some of the stallions outside, but other than that no pony spoke.

"I want all of you no good beggars to get your flanks out of here!" the first stallion shouted, with the sound of him picking up the mailbox coming soon after. Suddenly every stallion that was outside sprinted away, enough that the sound of somepony starting to shout for a stampede could be heard. Angel looked around through one of the windows, a confused look coming over his face.

"What is it Angel bunny?" Fluttershy asked as she trotted up the window slowly, fearing that the horde would return if she did. When she looked outside she saw Braeburn looking around for any sign of a stallion that was going to stalk out Fluttershy's cottage.

"Fluttershy, you ok?" Braeburn asked from outside, his eyes finding Fluttershy's as she watched him from the window. She nodded quickly before running downstairs to thank her savior. He smiled as she opened the door, but his eyes quickly dropped down to focus on the biggest difference to Fluttershy's body.

"Are you... pregnant?" Braeburn asked as he examined the small bump that had been growing on Fluttershy's body for the past few months. Her friends also had their own bumps growing, but Fluttershy's was the most noticeable. Braeburn tentatively reached a hoof out towards it, only to be swatted away by Angel. Fluttershy quickly looked down at him, giving him the stare so he would go away. Braeburn was the first nice stallion she had seen in a while, and even Fluttershy wasn't going to let her favorite rabbit get in the way of that.

"Yeah, me and all of my friends" Fluttershy replied as her cheeks flushed from Braeburn touching her stomach gently. When he had his fill of rubbing her belly he stood all the way up, a smile on his face. It was a knowing smile, which means that he knew why all those stallions were there for her, as well as what he should do in a situation like this.

"Do you need a nice stallion to keep you safe from the creeps?" Braeburn asked with a wink, causing a giggle to escape from Fluttershy.

"Maybe~" Fluttershy answered in a sing song way, causing Braeburn to smile happily. She turned around and trotted towards her couch, making motions for him to follow after her. Once they were both seated on the couch she began to fill him in on everything that had happened in the last few months, and being the considerate stallion that he was, he listened to it all, nodding when he needed to.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Fluttershy asked after she finished her story, ending it with the time just before Braeburn showed up. Braeburn looked over at the clock to see that it was already six in the evening, so with a smile and a nod he turned towards Fluttershy,

"I'd love to"

Twilight

As her teacher's sun began to set in the west Twilight knew it was time to put the books away. Spike had left at least an hour ago so he could go see Rarity, which meant that she was all alone in the library with her books. She had read every single relationship advice book in the library, but nothing helped. There wasn't some magical method that was going to get her the perfect stallion, and he wasn't about to just show up out of nowhere unless she was really lucky. Twilight put the last book away in it's spot before she began to trot up the stairs to her room, stopping at the top to lock the door and turn the lights off. There was no point in keeping the library open if she was going to be in her room anyways.

"Why does this have to be so hard..." Twilight said quietly as she shut her bedroom door behind her, slowly making her way into her bed so she could wallow in her self pity. No pony ever told her finding a stallion was going to be this hard, not even her stepsister Cadance. All Twilight wanted, no, needed, was a stallion that she could get along with, that she could relate to, and that she could love unconditionally, but according to every book finding a stallion like that was one in a million. Just as Twilight began to feel empty and alone she felt something from deep inside of her, a small movement that could have only come from...

"The foal?" Twilight said out loud as she sat up, her eyes fixed on the small bump that was her stomach. When she saw it she was reminded that all of her friends were in the exact same situation as she was, and that she had Spike there for her most of the time. If she couldn't find a stallion, she would always have her friends and family to be there to support her, no matter what happened. Looking up to her nightstand Twilight found her picture of herself and all of her friends at her brother's wedding, which brought a smile to her face. After looking at the picture for a few minutes Twilight set it back down, laying her own head down with it.

"I'll always have my friends..." Twilight said quietly as she closed her eyes, her mood having done a complete turn around since she had laid down. When Twilight finally fell asleep there was a smile on her face, and her dreams were dominated by the memories of all the adventures she had gone on with her friends.