HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENT

Chapter 2
Fickle Pony Friends

Fact 1: I'm probably in Ponyville.

Fact 2: My friends are here.

Fact 3: They aren't happy to see me, for some reason.

Fact 4: They have changed dramatically. Well, I'm not surprised. They've been at war too. I swear, this bastard chases me wherever I go... Challenge accepted, War! Moving on.

Fact 5: Pinkie Pie is trying to kill me. She's really good. Almost too good for an equine. But hell, that's Pinkie we're talking about.

Fact 6: Celestia has been... Well, lying to me this whole time. Doesn't make this any easier.

Twilight blocked the knife and kicked it out of Pinkie's grasp. The pink mare only grinned wider and went hoof-to-hoof. Twilight cursed her restrained horn again and dodged the attack.

She can't be serious... How can I fight my best friend?

"Look alive!" Pinkie cried out with glee and bucked so swiftly it seemed like she teleported her hind leg in Twilight's face. "You're no fun!" The unicorn flew across the room and crash landed on a wooden chair. Meanwhile, Pinkie found her cleaver and rose up on her hindlegs.

If at first you don't succeed...

"Why do you want to kill me?" Twilight asked, spitting red on the floor. "Why do you hate me?"

"Oh, don't think you're special, or something!" Pinkie waved her hoof dismissively. "I hate everypony! Well, except my friends. I don't have a lot of those nowadays. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Why? Why are you like this?" Twilight poked her hoof around for some kind of a weapon.

"Why not? I've always been like this..." She dropped to her fours and trotted around. "Except when that annoying furball was in control!" She suddenly snapped and stomped.

"What do you mean?" Twilight squeezed a chair leg between her hoof and her fetlock joint.

...use some dirty tricks!

"Do you seriously think Surprise was my true iden-"

CRASH!

Twilight, in one fast motion, broke her 'club' against the back of Pinkie's head. She fell on the floor face first.

"Phew... What's up with her?" She asked, carefully touching her sore jaw. "And who's-"

"Surprise!" Pinkie yelled, jumping on Twilight with lively laughter.

She's laughing almost as if she's throwing another party for me. This is so fucked up!

They both landed on the floor, with Pinkie's hoof pressed against Twilight's windpipe. "Well, Twilight-Twilight-Twilight! Deceiving me, making me talk, and striking while I had my ass turned to you... Almost like how you did it four years ago!" I'm fucked, right? Well, Tartarus, here I come! "This was fun!" The pink mare smiled. Some of her teeth were missing. "Usually the ones Dashie takes here either run away or die too fast... You're tough and smart. Not in the way I remember you," her voice dropped to a whisper. "It's getting hard to remember..." She saw Twilight's face getting blue and freed her throat. "Oh, sorry. Wouldn't want you to die now. You're amusing. I'd like to keep you!"

Suck it, Tartarus.

"So, uhm..." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. "Can we restock and stay here for a while? I've just busted her out of Razor Train and we both need a little rest."

"Ooh, Razor Train? What's the body count?" Pinkie asked with a friendly smile. That's right, a friendly smile. Towards Rainbow Dash. Jelly-jelly-jelly.

"Dunno. A few CPs on our way to the blowup point, but all in all, it went pretty smoothly." Dash shrugged. "We weren't exactly looking for trouble."

"CPs?" Twilight muttered, getting up, but the two paid her no mind. Oh, come on! A close friend you haven't seen for a long while turns up and the first thing you do is beat the shit out of her and then ignore her? Great. Just great!

"Aww, too bad. I wish I could have gone with you, but you know how it is..." Pinkie saddened. Now that's new... Hm, how many times have I thought that since the train crash?

"Yeah, I do. Sorry about that. Again." Dash put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder and Pinkie... what!? ...slowly crash landed into a hug.

"Oh, it's not your fault." She said quietly. Then whose fault is it? And what exactly is this fault? "If anything, I should be thanking you, Dashie... Weird name, gotta get rid of it... I mean..."

"I get it," Dash said softly. Soft Rainbow Dash? Well, that's new... Stop being surprised. "I get it, Pinks." She pulled her closer into an embrace.

What the hell happened to them?

Probably the same thing that happened to you.

Yeah. Haven't heard from you in a while... Come to think of it, the whole two weeks.

What can I say? You lead a pretty simple lifestyle. Until a few hours ago.

Just fucking great... How have you been?

How have you been?

Point taken.

"Hey, Twilight? Hello?"

She shook her head to get rid of stray thoughts. "Huh?"

"I'm asking, are you familiar with firearms?" Pinkie asked, knocking lightly on the unicorn's forehead. "Do you zone out much? Maybe we shouldn't put you in a fight?"

You shouldn't.

My whole squad is dead.

Griffins swarm overhead.

I run.

My eyes sting, my hooves hurt from running, my coat is soaked in blood of many foes, my horn is picking up some weird vibrations in The Flow.

Scary voices whisper in my ears.

I cast some familiar stamina spells, but they also have some... Side effects.

I grow wings... Shadow... Wings...

It's hard to think straight with all this whispering.

I try to block the voices.

Pegasi engage with the enemies. Their magical signatures are clear, though they have some subtle undercurrent I've never felt before.

Bodies rain from the sky.

I catch a glimpse of a griffin body. His armor is amplified with an amulet. It's the Ambience Amulet. It masks magical signatures and blends them with ambient vibrations of nature. I have seen them a lot...

Griffins are not able to make them. Zebras and unicorns are. This particular amulet is unicorn-made. Were they able to steal some or...

Treason?

"Nest to Watchstone One! Do you read me?" I hear from my radio.

"Watchstone One-Two here," I mumble. It's hard to talk.

"Oh, thank Celestia! Twilight! What about the others?"

"They're gone. I'm the only one left. Repeat. Watchstone One is dead!"

"Shit!" Nest barks. "Get out of there, Watchstone One-Two!"

"On it. Over."

"Good luck."

The only way is through. Pitch black tears drop from my eyes. Wings flap furiously.

Whispers become louder.

"N-no! Sorry, ah... Firearms? Yeah, I love those! Not as good as my horn though..." Curse this cunning little contraption.

"Well, we ain't got nothing to get rid of this thing on your dildo bone, so you'll have to go with bullets," Dash said with a chuckle.

"I'm cool with it." Twilight promised. I'm not! My horn is all I have! "Where's my piece?"

"What, did you think we were just gonna give you a gun?" Pinkie arched an eyebrow. Well, as a matter of fact, yes... "Many trials await. Prove you're worth a weapon and then you'll get one or die trying..."

"Oh, shut up!" Dash said. Pinkie, don't think I didn't notice that glare. "What she means is we don't have a gun for you, as these..." She pointed towards a weapon locker in the corner. "...Are reserved for the Network guys. So they're not mine to give."

"A-and?.."

"And you'll have to find your own gun, simple as that."

"How?"

"However. Steal it, scavenge it from a dead body, make it yourself from some broken cars or shit." Dash shrugged. Again. "I don't care, as long as it shoots, it's yours."

"And then what?"

"And what then? First we gotta survive until 'then'." Oh. "I don't plan that far ahead. Rarity used to."

"Rarity? Is she around?"

"No. As I said before, she betrayed me..."

"Us," Pinkie chimed in.

"...Betrayed us and left to live a long and happy life in Central Ponyville. Good luck to her with that."

Twilight just stared.

"Ponyville Central," Dash said with a sigh. "It's a district near the Citadel. The grip of the Combine is the toughest there. We're on the outskirts of the town now, so they don't bother us with their shit often. Also, they don't really know about this place."

"What about Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. "I can't believe she's left you too."

"This invasion was too much for her. She's still living in her cottage, but it's become a toxic wasteland. I don't know how it still stands." Dash sighed again, this time with a twinkle of sadness in her eyes. "I can't really blame her. She's the last pony I'd expect to fight. When she left our hideout, she said she'd sooner die than kill someone. She mentioned something about retro music, but I think that was when she flipped out and wept hysterically."

"Oh... Okay, so they're still in town. Good. Means I can meet them," Twilight said. "And where is Applejack? I think she of all ponies would be fighting alongside you."

"Well, she kinda does. In a weird way," Pinkie told her. "There is an echelon of the Overwatch, that accepts desperate ponies, usually our prisoners. They apply for job, uphold something resembling law and get some good social perks and food. It's called Civil Protection."

"So?"

"So they act like total jerks! And Applejack applied for a job to sabotage it and steal something for us. She makes them easier to kill. I can respect that."

"And where is she?"

"We don't know!" Dash shrugged. "She comes here, about once in a few days, but she's stationed somewhere else."

"Oh. Wow." Twilight fell silent, processing all the information. "But first... Where can we rest our bones?"

"Yeah, we can use the room, right?" Dash suddenly asked.

"Yeah, just don't break my bed." I have some... Weird images in my mind. Is it just me, or... Oh, look, RD is blushing. Cute.

"We'll try," Twilight promised. "Dash, lead the way."

"Erm... Okay."

Dash didn't bother to turn on the lights, so she and Twilight proceeded further into a poorly lit space between some boxes and computers. Pinkie went to an opposite direction, also hiding in the shadows.

"Damn," Twilight whispered. "This is so weird!" You don't say? "What's up with her? What's that 'Surprise' bullshit?"

"Dunno. She gets all angsty when I try to talk about it, so..." Dash shrugged. Ugh! "Beats me." Like I'd ever buy that!

"I gotta investigate this. Smells of fucked-up-ness a mile away."

"Oh no, now you gotta rest. As much as I'd like to kick you out of here and watch your badass military skills in action, we're both kinda tired. Dunno about you, but I haven't got a minute of sleep in, like, two days?"

"What, have you been molesting everypony in sight all this time?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny as fuck." Dash deadpanned. "For your information, no. I have been... Oh, let's see." She rolled her eyes. "For starters, me and Derpy robbed a Civil Protection warehouse in Toxic Suburbs, resulting in all this buttload of medkits. You know, these little things that save lives? Next, we fought for twelve hours, because, well, Toxic Suburbs and shit. You have no idea what you can find lurking there. Next, when we, all beat up, tired, with almost no bullets, crawled out of there, two freaky Network bat-ponies passed me a note saying, quote, 'Your old friend is arriving on a Razor Train at four PM in Citadel', so we just had to rush over there, because it was already half past midday." She stopped to catch a breath. "And then, after we killed some CPs and crashed a fucking Razor Train, I've been saving your ass for a few hours. Maybe it doesn't count as being heroic in Canterlot, but I sure feel like one."

"You sure are. Going two days without sex. For you, this is quite a feat." Twilight chuckled. "Some parts of you never change."

"Heh, yeah." Dash chuckled too, remembering the past. "But who said I never fucked Derpy, while crawling narrow canals?"

"Ew, gross!"

"Just kidding!" Dash finally reached a door in the far end of a bunker and pulled it open. "Me and Derpy? She's way too clueless!"

Twilight smiled. Well, she's joking with me. That's a good sign!

"All right, and now things get a tiny bit awkward," Dash said with that her nasty voice I hated so much when we were younger.

The room? More like a closet. There was a hammock hung across, with a blanket and a few pillows in it. Aside from that, the room was completely empty.

"I call the blanket!" Twilight said with haste.

"We both call the blanket, Twi."

"Oh," Twilight finally grasped the horrible truth. The realisation was so sudden it almost made Twilight cringe in fear. I'm going to... Snuggle with Rainbow Dash! "Awk-ward."

"No shit. You wanna be on top?"

"Well... Uh..."

"Cool, then I call the top!" Dash grinned.

You're blushing.

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

"Get in there!"

"Is there any other place to sleep?"

"You mean, any other place, where Pinkie Pie can suddenly snap your neck while you sleep? Perhaps any other place that is so hard, your body will ache horribly for days afterwards? Any other place where giant roaches can eat your legs? Twi, if you want to have a rest, this is the only place. Trust me. Pinkie thinks this hammock is sacred and she has no right to kill anypony while they're here." Dash shrugged. Seriously, stop doing that. "Dunno, I think it's kinda cool. Now get in! I'm dying here!"

Twilight reluctantly lay on her back in this 'sacred place' and turned her eyes to the pegasus. She began undoing all the straps on her combat vest and finally wiggled out of it.

You're blushing.

Oh, shut u-u-up, I hate you!

"Damn, this thing is so wicked!" Dash said and climbed on top of Twilight. "A-a-ah... Heavenly as hell!"

"Uh... O-kay..." What a weird choice of words.

"Anyway, I feel like talking a little bit, so ask away. I know many things bug you." Dash looked right in Twilight's eyes, and the unicorn finally saw it. Affection. Friendliness.

She doesn't want to kill me. Then she likes me. Then we're gonna have an awesome night. Of sleep, of course. I'm pretty sure you thought about something very nasty, you perverted... Whatever it is you are.

Well, yes, I did. And we've had this 'who the fuck are you' talk many times before.

"Well, firstly, what's this Network?" Twilight asked, carefully resting her forelegs on Dash. She was filthy and had a bad breath, but... Whatever. She's always been like that. "You told me there were bat-ponies involved. Who are they? Do they have a connection with Luna?"

"Well, nobody knows for sure who they are and why they're here. They probably do connect with Luna somehow, being bat-ponies and all that." Dash laid her head on Twilight's chest. "We can't exactly get in touch with them. They usually find us, if they need something. I have no idea what they do, but they help us sometimes, and help considerably. We can't get a tiniest bit of info out of them if they don't wanna share, and they usually don't. No doubt about one thing, though. These fuckers can really fight."

"Why do you help them?"

"Because helping them usually means fucking up Combine operations, and that's what we're all about. Plus, we get something for ourselves while we’re at it. If you haven't noticed, derailing your train also got some Combine killed. Although..." Dash said in a puzzled tone. "There was nothing else in the rubble. Only you and a few soldiers, one of them was an elite fighter."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know. It's just strange. Why did the Combine send a whole Razor Train outside their domain and why did it come back empty? It's almost like you were their target... But why?"

"No idea," Twilight answered. "Maybe they just wanted some random pony from Canterlot, who just happened to be me?"

"Do you really believe in such coincidences?" Dash asked. She has a point.

"Well, no. Now this stinks even more."

"Okay. Is there anything else? Frankly, I'd like to fall asleep."

"Yes. What was that scene with Pinkie Pie? Did she actually?.."

"No comments."

"What?"

"You heard me. Ain't talking about that. This is really complicated and really personal. She has my word not to tell anyone and I can understand her pretty damn well. Ask her. If she feels she can trust you, she'll tell you," Dash said somberly. "And that concludes Q and A for now. Good night."

"Aren't you going to molest me first?" Twilight smiled.

"Just... Shut up." Dash yawned. "Alright, I'm sleeping, whether you like it or not."

"Good night then," Twilight replied.

It's been two weeks since the outburst. I'm still in the hospital, but the doctors say I will be released tomorrow. I haven't told anypony about this thing, except you, of course.

Honestly, I'm scared shitless. It's just freaky. For the first time in my life, books don't know the answer to my problems. I got Spike to read every book in Royal Canterlot Archives concerning dark magic, but all of them say that I can only choose to commit it. I didn't. That first spell casted itself. And the voices, what the fuck are those?

Help me, please. I'm afraid to use my horn, but I can't stop. You are talented in forbidden arts, maybe you can shed some light on this. And I beg you, don't tell her. I don't think she needs to know. I don't think I want her to know.

-T.

She really doesn't hate me.

Sometimes a glimpse of a friend is all it takes to let a grudge go.

I sure hope others were like that.

Maybe they aren't even mad like Dash or crazy like Pinkie.

The unicorn stroked Dash's mane as she snored softly into her lavender chest.

You did feel good when she said she used to have a crush on you, don't deny it.

Well, yes. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous in her own way.

What do you feel about her?

Well, I'm confused. She's changed so much, and yet... She's all the same.

No, I meant, would you bang her?

Of course not! I'm straight! Well, except that one time, you remember... But I was really, really drunk! Ugh, and that other time, when I was slightly drunk... And those times with... But that doesn't count! Oh hell, I'm not straight at all. Jeez.

Oh-kay... What about the pink one?

Well, even if I tried, she'd dismember me faster than I could get her undressed. So no. Why are you asking?

I don't know, I just want you to feel good.

Oh, you're so sweet!

Nah, I'm just a selfish little shadow entity who feels everything you do. Considering my last body was a male one, this is a very interesting experience.

That's still kinda sweet.

Oh, shush.

All things considered, Twilight was very comfortable. She had the best rainbow blanket in the world.

What are you planning to do next?

No idea. I'll probably stick around and talk to the others, then we'll fight Combine. Oh, and maybe find a way to get rid of this suppressor thingy, since magic is something I do best.

Okay then, good luck with that.

What will you do?

Oh, as always, sit here, in your head, make witty comments and slowly drive you insane.

Good thing you haven't changed at all.

Yeah, I'm the least dynamic character in this chapter of your life. Now go to sleep.

Black tears were running down her cheeks. Her eyes were stinging. Immaterial wings smoked behind her head, flapping gently. The Flow just reeked of dark vibrations.

She slowly entered her garrison.

"Twi! Good to... Hey, what the..." A guarding soldier took a step back.

Twilight could finally see, what those dark and scary vibrations in The Flow were. Those were sins.

"Private Watchful Eye." Her menacing tone scared her. It sounded like all those whispers in her head were backing her... Somehow. "You are guilty of assisting rape."

"What?! But how do you... I was seventeen!" Fear crossed her face.

"For your sins, you will be executed."

"What the hell? Come on, Twi, that's not funny!"

"See you in hell."

He screamed. Blood and guts splashed against the wall. She heard shouts. A second guard ran away to warn the others.

So many sinners. So little time.

Twilight woke up with a start, panting heavily. A trail of sweat ran down her face.

I've killed them all. I've slaughtered them. I've crushed them like blind kittens. I watched their eyes go dim. I toyed with their bones. I've killed them all...

Dash was looking at her with sleepy eyes.

"What the... Why are you awake?" she asked. Twilight probably woke her up as she shook.

"Just... Bad dream," Twilight replied.

"Look... Go back to sleep, okay? It's alright now."

I ain't going back there again!

"Uh, no. I've had enough. Do you mind if I get out?"

"Whatever..."

Dash shifted to the side, allowing Twilight to roll out from the hammock.

So, what now?

The unicorn came out of the little room and stretched her muscles. A gaping hole in her stomach rumbled and she felt nausea.

Find something to eat. I'm starving!

She found her way to the main room. Pinkie was there, working on some contraption. Her eyepatch is off.

"Morning," she said, screwing parts of something together. It looked a lot like a hoofgun boot, but Twilight couldn't see any familiar gun parts. By the looks of it, it was... Just a boot.

"Morning," the unicorn replied. "What are you doing?" She came closer, but Pinkie promptly set her eyepatch in place and looked at her with the good eye. "Why do you wear that patch? Is something wrong with your eye?" What a tactless question, but whatever.

"One question at a time, please!" Pinkie frowned. "Firstly, I am making a part of some project I will probably show you eventually. Secondly, I wear this eyepatch because there is something wrong with my eye. Du-uh. I thought you were the smartass."

"What's with the eye?"

"Something wrong is. I don't want to talk about it." Pinkie looked at the boot. "Hey, you're a nerd, right? Mind helping out?"

Twilight ignored the jab and came closer. The thing was, indeed, an orange and gray boot. The metallic parts were connected by some black fiber, making it agile and, probably, comfortable.

"What's the problem?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't ask your assistance!" Pinkie snapped. "It's supposed to move freely and maintain a force field, but it doesn't. I need a second opinion, and asking Dash is pointless, she's about as bad at this as you are at fighting."

"I see," Twilight tried it on. It, indeed, strained her movements a little. "Do you have anything to eat?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'll poke around, and you figure this out." With that, she left Twilight alone with the contraption.

After a brief examination, everything seemed to be in order. A tiny computer screen on the frontal part (that was a huge surprise to Twilight) also showed no errors in the firmware. Everything seemed to be in order.

I gotta take it apart.

Check the reactor.

Huh?

Well, that's the rule. You should check the reactor to see if it produces enough energy. Before disassembling your toy, you always check the batteries, right?

Uh, yeah. I guess.

Then check that damn reactor.

It's a boot. I mean, does it even have a reactor? And what kind of a reactor could fit into a boot?

Well... You're right, but check out those wires going into it. I bet it's from a reactor!

Why are you so obsessed with reactors?

Let's... Not talk about this.

Okay, then I'm doing it my way. The army way!

Wait, wh... Uh-oh...

She raised her hoof high in the air and brought it down onto the table with all the force she could collect.

CRRRKT!

Oh my.

It's...

It's working!

The boot now was like a second skin to Twilight, despite the orange armor. Although, a computer screen displayed a sad smiley face with a message 'H.E.V. mainframe unavailable' under it.

"Oh, it's working!"

"Gah!" Twilight almost jumped at her with a reflexive blow. "D-don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Oh, the look on your face!" Pinkie smiled, “I should do that more often!"

She put a metal can on the table. "Here's your food. It's Overwatch daily ration, designed to feed underrated supersoldiers with cybernetic augmentations, so that should be more than enough for you." She pulled the pin of another can with her teeth. "It's not very tasty, but we're not in a restaurant."

Twilight did the same and found a can full of colorless goop. "Is it even edible?"

Pinkie nodded, sliding her tongue inside and quickly lapping it.

Look at that tongue. Oh, so flexible and pink. I know you want it inside you...

Shut up!

You're blushing!

The unicorn carefully tried it hey, not that bad and licked it all off the can in a matter of seconds.

"The side effects include, but are not limited by: growing extra appendages, increased parasite growth rate, craving for augmentations and mass murder, permanent awful aftertaste and decreased IQ," Pinkie said matter-of-factly. "But that's if you're particularly unlucky."

"I'm... Surprisingly okay with that!" Twilight said, squishing the can. "Can I have a second helping?"

"Uh, no. The probability of you going rampant and dying shortly afterwards is too big," the pink pony pointed out. "It's not your usual hay bacon."

The two were silent for some time, Twilight examining the boot and Pinkie just chilling nearby.

"Sooo..." the unicorn said.

"Huh?"

"You're oh-so-dangerous one second, and then almost friendly a second after. Why?"

"Ah, I'm just in a good mood." Pinkie smiled. "Thanks for smacking me, by the way."

"Hey, you need more - just ask! But seriously, what's up with you? Dash is doing that too. I can't figure out if you like me or hate me."

"Hate. Definitely hate. But like too."

"What?"

"Twilight, don't get me wrong, I hate you, Dash, Surprise, myself, everypony!" Pinkie stomped. "But being an ultimate killing machine gets boring after a while! I'm way too OP for the feeble ponies."

"...OP?.."

"This is why when you actually managed to land a strike... It was like a breath of fresh air. It's good to know I still have a challenge in my life. And somehow I still remember the older days... I'm actually surprised by that, I shouldn't be able to recall them... So I consider you... An ally, I guess. Not a friend, like Dash, though..."

"Wait. I still don't get it." Twilight scratched her chin. "Why do you all resent me so much? It's not like I haven't explained anything to you."

"What do you mean 'explained'?" Pinkie snapped. "You left without a word!"

"I've sent you all a heap of letters!"

"We ain't seen no letters from you!"

Oh.

What the fuck?!

Equestrian Post Service - one, Twilight Sparkle - zero.

Shut up!

"B-but... But..." She sat on the floor. Hard. "I thought... Sunbutt... Low blow..."

Oh, what? You're gonna cry now?

SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!

He-he-heh... Heh... Oh, come on! Didn't you see it coming?

Twilight sniffed.

No! I mean... She used to be so nice to me... And now she's stabbing me in the back!

Oh, is she? Then stab her back!

"Celestia is a cunt, and you know it," Pinkie sat down beside her. "Hey!" She touched Twilight's face. A dirty coverall suit wasn't soft. "Did you really send them?"

"Yeah, I did. I really thought you got them, but then I went to war and couldn't send any letters anymore... When I saw how you feel about me, I was... Puzzled, if anything." She closed her eyes. "But now I see. It was a betrayal, but seems like I was the one who was betrayed."

You know what to do, my little pony.

Yes... Yes, I do...

Yes, I do -what?-

Yes, I do... Vendetta.

Twilight slowly rose from the floor and sniffed again.

"Look, Pinkie..." she started

"Hey, don't sweat it." Pinkie nudged her. "Everyone has problems. Just stop being such a whining crybaby pussy, okay?"

A little smile crossed Twilight's face.

"Yeah, you sure can motivate..." She looked at the still wired boot on her forehoof. "What's that 'project' anyway?"

"It's not ready..." Pinkie's face dropped all of a sudden. "It's not much to look at... Really, you shouldn't be interested in such little things..."

Oh my, she's like a teenage filly on a first date!

What can possibly be so flustering?

"Oh, come on! This is a boot with a forcefield!" Twilight tried to encourage her. "Surely it's something amazing!"

Pinkie just hid her face in her mane, just like Fluttershy often did. "No, really, it's nothing... And why are you pestering me? Want a wrench between the eyes?"

"Come o-on!" Twilight brought an unclad hoof over Pinkie's neck. "I know it's something awesome! Don't be so shy about it!"

"Twilight Sparkle, last warning!" Pinkie shoved the unicorn away. "Fuck off! I'll show you later, when there's something to show!"

"Alright, alright, but when exactly?"

"I don't know! Sometime later! Sheesh!" She went into the shadows with an annoyed grumble. "Now I got shit to do, so entertain yourself." She suddenly trotted back. "Actually, go clean yourself up! You stink, and your eyes are nasty." She poked Twilight in the chest with an asshole-y smile.

Ouch, baby!

Shut up!

"Bathroom is that way." Pinkie said, waving towards a dimly lit door and then trotted back into the shadows.

Twilight took the boot off. It had a sweet release mechanism, that automatically unscrewed some parts that kept it tight on the leg.

What is this weird craving to hurt me? If not physically, then by insulting me.

Well, she does have a point though.

Shut up!

No, you shut up!

There indeed was a bathroom behind the door, at least something that could be called a bathroom. The bathtub was there, if only half of it. A brownish sink and a cracked mirror was everything Twilight needed to freshen up. When all the crusts were gone from her eyes and her teeth were somewhat cleaned with her hooves, she could look into the mirror and smile. Things are looking up. At least it beats sitting in a lonely room with a straightjacket on.

When she returned to the table with the boot, she saw Pinkie again.

"Twilight. Uh..."

Her ears were down, but not in an angered way. She looked nervous, just like when Twilight tried to press the issue with the project.

"What is it?"

"There is something I have to tell you. It's... Uh..." She extended a hoof. "I hate to be seen like this, but... Don't tell Dash, okay? Being badass is the only leverage I have on her."

Twilight gently touched it with her own. "Sure, Pinks. What is it?"

"I've just got a message from Surprise. She's... Well... To put it gently, she's royally fucked. The Combine have found all her connections to the outside and blocked them. She could just send this message and then she blacked out." Pinkie sighed. "We have to rescue her... But I don't know how! We'll probably figure this out later..." She scratched the back of her head. "You in?"

"Yes, if you tell me about this Surprise. Who is she?" To Twilight this seemed to be the big opportunity to finally learn about the mysterious figure from Pinkie's past.

"Not now! We have to act immediately! Stock up, wake Dash and out! I'll tell you on the way. If you're coming with us. You are? Good. It's settled then!" Pinkie clapped her hooves without even caring to get any response from dumbfounded Twilight. "Where else can you go anyway?"

Fair point there.

Ugh, fine!

Adventure time, yay!

"Wait a second..." Pinkie said. "Something's not right..." An ominous grin slowly appeared on her face. "Oh. I see... Twilight?"

"Y-yes, what's wrong?"

"Buckle up and get ready for a ride. We're having a party tonight."

"...What?"

Suddenly, the entrance door crashed into the bunker.

Raspy distorted breaths and heavy limping hoofsteps. White armor. A glowing red eye.

"So, you've found me, huh? Took you long enough." Pinkie looked at him with menace in her eye. Her body was like an overloaded energy cell, ready to go off.

"Shut up," the soldier barked.

Are we fucked?

Nah. We're just a little bit screwed.

Sounds like 'fucked' to me.

Whatever.

Author's Note

Long-awaited Chapter Two! Yay!

Say hello to my proofreaders! Uber_Shy and Willow! They are great!

I promise not to take so long on posting Chapter Three! [oh boy was I wrong ~11, mar. 2014]