The Chronicles of a Furball

The Chronicles of a Furball

Chapter 4: Walk

I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

-The Foo Fighters

     "Ooof! ... Goddammit!"

     "Well, so much for 'first steps into our new selves'," I said cynically.

     Twenty minutes.  For twenty minutes I watched my best friend and co-pawn flop around in the dirt, trying to learn the ancient art of walking on four legs. It was hilarious for the first five minutes,  after that it got a little bit tedious. By now Mel's dark blue coat and sunflower-yellow mane was tinged with dirt and grass stains and his face was contorted in a perpetual scowl.

     Mel didn't take long to learn how to stand on four legs, he said it was pretty simple. But coordinating those extremities in unison to produce a standard spacial displacement event (Which means trying to walk) seemed to be hard as hell to him.

     Compared to the time it takes for a newborn human to learn how to walk, Mel was hauling ass. On his fifteenth attempt, he managed twenty paces before he became a faceplant.

     Mel was a hardy bastard,  I'll give him that. After another fall and another curse, he was back on his feet hooves again, ready for another try.

Step...Step...Step...Step....Step...

Slam. Aaa-aaa-aaand fail.

"Sonofawhore!" Mel pounded his hoof to the ground and shouted in aggravation.

     I walked over to Mel and patted him on the back "C'mon man, some species of animals are born knowing how to walk. You're smarter than some animals, you can do it."

     Mel huffed as he picked himself off of the ground once more "Says the guy with opposable thumbs."

     Standing right in front of me at full height, Mel made me realize just how short I really was now that I'm an ottsel. Assuming he was of average height, My eyes only came up to his muzzle. That  made me what? Like two feet tall, give or take a few inches. Ironic, since most HiE stories involved the ponies going all "LOL, humanz! They're all like, way tall!" The ones I've read anyway.

     Though I am only using a single pony as an example.  For all I know, Mel could have been either really tall or really short for a pony. I'd lean toward the tall side since he was about six-feet-something on Earth.

     Luckily, his progress was exponential in its growth. By the hour mark, Mel was walking like he'd been a pony his whole life. Although running (galloping?) was a different story. Mel tried it a few times and only suceeded in churning up more dirt and giving himself a nasty bruise (AND freshly renewing my laughter).

     As soon as he found a comfortable pace to walk with, we made our way toward Canterlot. Mel was moving at a normal speed, for a pony. But for an ottsel, well... he could walk circles around me. The long strides that came naturally with his legs was just as fast as me jogging along with my short, stubby legs.

     One more thing I learned that day, my body was not human anymore. Ergo, there was some things I had to do differently. My new feet weren't the same, they were all broad and floppy. Imagine having clown shoes super-glued to your the soles of your feet at all times, and imagine how ridiculous it would be to get around in those shoes all day, every day.

    You'd imagine that it would suck, correct? Long story short: it did. Walking with, my new feet was easy right off the bat and jogging short distances was manageable, but full-on sprinting was out of the question. The hardest part is that I had to jog alongside Mel ALL DAY, or until we got to Ponyville. Not only was that difficult,  but Shiva hadn't seen fit to give me a body that was remotely in shape. We had to stop periodically so that I could catch my breath and Giles could mock me.

     This went on for about three hours of walking with the summer heat assaulting our bodies. By then, Mel was perfectly fine and I was sweating like a busted pipe.

     "Wait, hah, wait..." I stopped our little two-man caravan with my wheezing and coughing. I didn't lead the most active life back in New York, nor the most healthy. The only reason that I was so scrawny was because of genetics, mosy of my family had beed major string beans.

     "Need another break?" Mel asked impatiently "At this rate we'll be there in about a week."

     "Hey," I said defensively in between ragged breaths "I can't help *gasp* it if you walk *gasp* faster than hell," I took one final deep breath and collapsed onto my back.

     I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lighter, only four smokes left. Oh god, I hope Ponyville has a place that sells menthol 100s. I lit it, took a deep drag, and put the pack away.

     "Uhh...Si?" Mel asked, looking thoroughly confused at me.

     "What?"

     "Where did you get that?"

     "What, my smokes? Well duhh, out of my po-"

     Wait,

Processing... ... ...

-Error-

     Where did I get those? I already mentioned how I was sent here as naked as the day that I was born. Therefore I had no pockets, and I hadn't been carrying them in my hands. So where was I keeping them?

     I eyed the area where my pants pocket should be, there was only fur, no pockets or kangaroo pouches, or anything of the like. I focused on the idea of my lighter and mimed drawing it from my not-pocket. Sure enough, the silver box appeared out of nowhere. I did it in reverse and the lighter disappeared. Well, I'll be damned.

    "Huh?"

     =============================================

New spell learned!

Hammerspace

Color: N/A

Type: Passive

Description: Huh? Where did you get that from? Ahh, who cares? You can now store and retrive small objects within an invisible magical pocket that came from Celestia-knows-where. Now you'll never lose your keys!

Effects: Permanent +5 boost to carry weight, even without a bag. Items in hammerspace cannot be stolen.

=============================================

     "Just like in a cartoon," Mel remarked "They can pull shit outt their asses."

     "No," I retorted "outta their hammerspace...Uh, hey, Giles."

     "Yes, Captain?" came Giles' attentive robotic voice (I resisted the urge to squee at being called 'Captain')

     "How do people and ponies do that pull-it-out-of-nowhere thing?"

     "Accessing..." was his neutral reply.

     A few seconds passed and his voice returned "That's odd."

     Mel moved closer to me and regarded the bracelet "What's odd?"

     "There doesn't seem to be any information on that subject. I scanned the bracelet's entire archive and nothing pertaining to "hammerspace" or any facsimile stored within its files. Essentially,  I have no idea."

     "Maybe it's a bug?" Mel offered.

     If this AI could scoff, he would've "Precursor technology has advanced far beyond having setbacks like bugs."

     "Or they really don't know," I said, shrugging "Just a mystery to solve ourselves. "

     "Hey, does that mean that I have it too?" That was a good question, only one way to find out.

     "Probably, " I said and tossed him the lighter "Try it."

     He did the same thing as me and exactly the same thing happened "Wiggy," he said and handed me back the ligher in his hoof.

     I took a drag from my smoke "Oh, and you can pick up things with your hooves too," I added "As if you had fingers. "

     Mel's jaw hung open "No shit?"

     "No shit," I confirmed.

     Naturally, he wanted to try it, so he found a rock and picked it up. Just like that. He held his hoof outward so the flat of it was facing outward. The rock clung to him like it was a magnet on a refrigerator.

     Mel stood rigid and stared at his hoof for a good long while, his eyes and face stuck with a look of uncomprehension. His eye twitched ever so slightly and her shook his head, trying to rid himself of these bad thougts.  He grunted and simply said "Cartoon physics. "

     "No kidding," I agreed.

XVXVXVX

     And so we walked toward the mountain, eyes fixed on the mountainous horizon. Canterlot awaited, but first we had to walk there. After our conversations died down to a comfortable silence,  I couldn't help but noticed how damn quiet it was out here. The only sounds that reached me was the gentle whiping of the wind, the rustling of the neon grass, the singing of the wild birds, and the droning of the cicadas.  Now remember this, I'm from New York City. I lived in a town where the blaring carn horns and road construction never stoped, not even at night. I grew up in a place of constant and unending noise. Silence was a luxury that I rarely ever experienced.

     That was not a bad thing, per se. In fact, I was ecstatic. I could close my eyes and and hear only the gentle caress of nature. God, I loved nature. I once went on a weekend hunting trip with my cousin from Ohio. We took a truck out into the middle of the thick woods with noting but some food and water, a pair of sleeping bags, and two12 gauge shotguns loaded with slugs. During the first night, it was wet, cold, buggy, and most importantly, quiet. It was the best night of sleep I'd ever gotten in my life. I shot and missed a deer the next morning, didn't care one bit,

     I don't give a damn if if Shiva said that there are horrible monsters out there that want to put my eyeballs in their cerial, I was in paradise.

     Mel was unconsciously walking faster than me again. Uhgggh, for the love of...

"Cmon, man. Wait up!" I called after him.

     Mel slowed down a bit and turned his head to look at me sheepishly "Sorry Si," he apologized "I can't help it."

     "Stop for a moment,  I feel stupid for not thinking of this earlier," I said.

     Mel did as I asked and looked at me quizzicaly "What?"

     I said nothing,  but instead hauled myself on top of his back and took a side-saddle position "Better?"

     "You want me to be your ride?" Mel deadpanned.

     "Well you are a pony," I retorted "You're built for being ridden!"

     Mel snorted mirthfully "Fine, as long as it makes us go faster."

    "High-ho Melvin! And awaaaa-aaay!"

     Mel turned his head to glare at me fiercely "Do. Not. Do. That."

     I grinned maniacally "Won't happen again," I lied, it was SO going to happen again.

     "Good."

XVXVXVX

     Hours passed, the sun was finishing it's crawl across the sky for today, the bright blue skies faded to the more mellow shades red and orange that accompanied sundown. Sunsets in Equestria are gorgeous, unlike in industrial America,  which always have a haze of greenish smog added to them. Just one more reason why Equestria is a better place.

     Mere minutes of daylight was left before we made camp under an old, twisted oak tree. Mel was worn to the bone from a day of nonstop trekking,  he unceremoniously plopped himself down right at the tree's base. I elected to use my newfound ottsel claws and climbed up the side of the great oak. My small hands easily found purchase on the rigid bark. I chose a branch that curved at just the right angle to accommodate me.

     I laid there, high up in that tree, watching the last few inches of the sun disappear behind the purple mountains,  listening to the crickets chirp their nighttime songs. If I strained my eyes, I fancied that I could spot Princess Celestia standing atop her tower, setting the sun and making way for Princess Luna to raise her moon.

     I looked to the the opposite end of the sky, my eyes searching the horizon for Luna's moon to come and claim the night. The moon rose before me, just as I had expected. But one thing was different from my expectations, the infamous emblem of Nightmare Moon was imprinted upon its lunar surface. Its pure whit eye gazed down upon the world below, watching, waiting, and anticipating the Nightmare's return.

     Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Mare in the Moon.

     "H-hey Mel," I whispered down the tree "are you awake?"

     "Yeah, but I won't sleep if you bug me like this," Mel griped his response.

     "Check it out," I said, gesturing to the moon.

     With a groan he picked himself up and took a short look at the moon "Ok cool," he said dismissively "Look, that moon isn't the weirdest thing I've seen today. Now, I'm going back to sleep. Wake me again and I will personally climb up there and turn you into a fuzzy orange hat."

     With that said, Mel laid back down and went to sleep. I laid awake, pondering the implications of this new discovery.  This must be what Shiva meant by time travel. How far back in time are we? Mabye it's just a few weeks until season one. But what if the Mane six aren't even born yet? That would make this little vacation a lot less exiting...

I shrugged off the ideas, I'll have to answer those questions myself in the moring. Or will I?

     "Hey Giles," I whispered.

     "Hey Captiain," Giles said in a much lower volume than usual.

     "Are we close to the year that season one happened?"

     "Relatively, " he answered "We are currently in year 999 A.N."

     "So A.N. stands for 'After Nightmare' I'm guessing?"

     "Affirmative."

     "Ok, thanks..." I yawned loudly and stretched out on the branch "G'nite, G."

     "Goodnight, Captain,"

     My question answered,  I foled my hands behind my head and let myself drift off into the warm cocoon of sleep...