Interesting Experiences in Equestria.
The Beginning:
It all began (original beginning, huh?) when Robert Delaney was walking to school one day. It was the day before the last on my College Junior year. He was almost a Senior! Then He get to chose a life for myself. He was pretty psyched. He had my backpack full of junk, his laptop case...then, for some reason, instead of a humble little city block with brick apartments and shops, instead of sidewalks with trees growing in the center of them, and instead of a well-taken care of park with a child's soccer game going on, he saw...what?
He was unsure of it at first, but, yes, he was looking at Ponyville. And he's a brony. He'sone of the more... intense bronies... Ah, screw it, he's a Ponyphile. He clops, and rule 34 ponies are his favorite past-time. But he hates the anthro-stuff. Its not natural in his mind, to much like the furry stuff, which he doesn't enjoy.
No, he likes the regular stuff, original, no humanization involved. He especially likes the human x pony drawings, because he really wanted to be that guy.
Oh, and no, he's not a fat neckbeard. He's actually pretty attractive guy; he's had girlfriends, though he didn't have one at the moment. He has a job (as a website programmer) and he gets straight-A's. He lives by himself, in a small studio apartment. He not really an antisocial loser, just a loner.
But, even for a brony, even for a Ponyphile, the fact that he was actually in Ponyville was a little hard to accept. He shook his head, still in Ponyville. He pinched himself, still in Ponyville. He took a few steps. Still in Ponyville. Well, he's in Ponyville, as it would seem, and Ponies are staring.
Its funny, he had always thought that, if he ever got transported to Equestria somehow, It would be more like Celestia's voice in my head.
Robert, you have been chosen to be transported to Equestria to my my alien sex slave.
Or, at least there would be some sort of pain, or feeling, or something. Nope. HE was just walking down the street, and my view was replaced with Ponyville. There was no sign or warning of any type that that was about to happen. HE just broke the fourth wall.
Then, after his initial confusion, then acceptance, he got excited. Not only was he in Ponyville, and not only would he get to meet the mane six, but he might finally be able to fulfill his Ponyphile-ish dreams!
But he made a decision: no. They were ponies! Not that he had a problem nailing one of 'em, heck, like he said, he wanted to, but this is based off of a kid's show, they probably don't even have the topic of 'sex.'
But, he needed to go. More Ponies were staring.
Well, better find the Library; Twilight would probably be my best choice as to who to talk to first.
With an awkward smile, he began my short journey to the Golden Oaks Library. The tree was relatively easy to find, one reason being this town wasn't the biggest of thriving Metropolises, the other being, he had watched the show enough to know Ponyville by heart.
More Ponies were staring and one finally screamed and dashed off. He needed to hurry before he was burned at the stake or something.
He picked up my pace and eventually found the library. He approached the heavy, wooden door and gave it a knock.
"Hey, Twilight! Guess what!? An Alien has come to visit you!" Nice choice of words, huh?
He heard Twilight's voice from one of the windows that was slightly open, "Spike, go see who that is will you? And unless he's actually an alien, a friendly one, tell him that I'm busy. "
"Yuppers." There was a scooting sound as Spike pushed his chair away from wherever table he was sitting, and small *pat, pat, pats* as he moved to open the door.
A pause, a grunt, (probably from his needing to stand on his tippy-toes to reach to doorknob) and the door opened.
His eyes widened and he called back to the purple unicorn, his eyes not leaving mine. Robert couldn't help but grin at his reaction.
"Uh...Twilight? He...wasn't kidding about being an alien..."
"I'm not!" He called back.
"What? How can he be an alien?" There was another scooting noise as Twilight left her own position on the table.
"If this is a little prank you and Pinkie Pie have arranged, I'll tell you now: your costumes aren't very convincing."
Spike eyed me suspiciously.
"I'm not involved, but if it is a costume, its pretty convincing."
He turned his voice to me, "What are you supposed to be?"
"I'm not supposed to be anyone, I'm a human." Rob responded.
"A human huh? Ah well, whatever you are, Twilight will know what to do with you."
Rob nodded, "That's why I came here; Twilight's the smartest mare in Ponyville."
A pause in the hoof-steps of the approaching unicorn. He's such a flatterer. Rob could imagine Twilight shaking her head to clear the blushing away with my mind's eye.
She reached the door and opened it fully, peering out curiously. Then she did what I was kind of expecting: she fainted.
-
It took almost two hours for them to revive the stunned unicorn.
After she fainted, he help Spike carry her to her bed, and Spike began asking him questions.
"So you're an alien huh? Human? What planet are you from? And how come you and I speak the same languages?"
As he answered those, Spike pulled the scroll and quill out (from his backside, apparently) and began jotting things down. After he eyed them quizzically, he said, "Notes. For Twilight."
"Ahhh, of course."
The questioning and note-taking continued for about an hour and a half. He asked about his life, his country, government, scientific advancements, and lots of other things. The entire human race in general.
After that, Twilight moaned from the bed, and Spike rushed over. He followed, curious to see if she was about to wake. Sadly, no, but she was coming about. After that, Spike sat on one side of the bed, and I on the other. We just chatted. About just whatever. Finally, another groan, and Spike decided to break out the smelling salts.
We both hovered over her, and he asked Spike, "Ya think she's waking up?"
"Yeah. See? There."
He leaned in and her eyes fluttered opened halfway. She smiled. Somewhat sensually, but that might've been my inner-Ponyphile speaking to me.
"Twilight?" He asked. "You awake?"
She took a big breath and replied, "Yes, I'm awake. And you're an alien."
"I guess I do fit that description..."
"Yes, you do, and its finally begun."
"What has? What?"
Twilight didn't answer. She hopped out of bed and said to Spike, "I'm going to take this alien to Princess Celestia; you stay here."
"Wait, Twilight, I asked him some questions while you were out. I took notes."
Twilight smiled, "Thanks Spike, I can always count on you!"
Salute.
He smiled, both at the salute, and because, well, I get to meet Princess Celestia.
"Uh, wait, on my way over here, I saw a lot of Ponies staring at me...is it safe to go out? I mean, have I been reported to the guards or something yet?"
She smiled again at him. No sensuality. Inner-sad-face.
"Well, normally, I'd agree with you. But we're not going out. Grab ahold of me."
Pony-boner.
"Uh, where?"
She sighed, "Anywhere, come on."
He shrugged and rested one of my hands on her back.
"Hold on..."
Spike watched as Twilight Sparkle and and alien disappeared in a flash of light, all the way to Canterlot Palace.
-
He sat in a large, marble room that led out to a balcony over-looking Canterlot. In the room was Princess Celestia.
He sat by himself, as this giant princess Pony faced me. He was a bit nervous, but his Ponyphile inside was excited.
Princess Celestia rose and smiled at him. Again, no sensuality. Disappoint.
"As I understand, your name is...Robert Delaney?" she said, reading from Spike's scroll.
"Yes."
"You are 'human' male, and twenty years old?"
He nod.
"Well, Robert, I have a bit of a surprise for you: we know about the humans."
Huh?
"Yes, in fact, we kind of helped in your creation."
Huh?
"And, you watch a television show based off of us."
HUH?
"You may be wondering how we can be a real universe and a television show in your culture at the same time."
Ya.
"You are a race that is meant for experimentation."
Yuh-oh.
Seeing the fear in his eyes, the Princess chuckled.
"No, not that kind. What is not mentioned in the show back on Earth is that Equestria currently researching anatomy."
Ooookay. Why would that not be mentioned in the show?
"Anatomy, brain signals. And pleasure chemicals..."
Hmm...was this his inner Ponyphile or was the Princess saying...
"Yes, we are experimenting in sexual pleasure of all types, including sexual intercourse with an intelligent alien life-from. You have been chosen to be the experimentee, because you seem to one of the most...'intense,' bronies on Earth."
Robert sat in silence. Best. Freaking. Day. Ever.
"So...does that mean...?"
"Yes. You are going to have physical relations with each of of the Bearers of Elements of Harmony."
Rob almost had an ejaculation right then and there.
"...really?"
Princess Celestia chuckled.
"That was the expected reaction. Yes, I am one-hundred percent serious."
"...do they know?"
"Yes, each of the bearers are preparing."
"Uh...who do I get to start with?"
Celestia shrugged, "Whoever comes on to you first. But be warned: one of the bearers is clean."
One!?
Rob chose the obvious, "Fluttershy?"
Another chuckle.
"Surprisingly, no. Its one you'd least expect: Rainbow Dash."
Jaw to the floor.