Honor or Happiness?

Narcissa's magic fiddled with his tie for about the fifth time that morning, now instead of it being too tight it was too loose. He was utterly annoyed but at least relieved to breathe again,

"Stand up straight! Its almost time and I don't want my family saying I'm marrying some slouching slob!" she ranted.

Weren't they just a match made in heaven? Narcissa, the most arrogant, compulsive, and conceited pony in all of Equestria, and him, Nolan Zodus, the silent, solemn, and secluded lower noble. Their families well connected (as well as they could be seeing as his family hardly had connections anywhere else), this declaration of marriage would heighten his family's standing once more, or so his parents presume. Personally he believed that Narcissa's keep, the Pulchritude clan, would be dragged down with them, he wasn't much of an optimist.

They waited together behind two grand doors that led out to his family's, the Pallid family to be exact, private plaza. Nolan was a grave looking colt due to the fact that this was probably one of his last days of freedom (though he hardly had any to start). His coat was a pale gray and his mane and tail were black with streaks of orange, his eyes were blood red and he adorned an expensive and well trimmed suit, complete with a monocle that was worn merely for style. Nolan had no problem with the way he looked, in fact he liked his hair and eye color, he even enjoyed being spiffed up for ocassions, only Narcissa could make it absolutely unbearable.

She was critical of nearly everything he did from his stature to his table manners, when they are thoroughly engaged she even demands that he dye his mane and tail completely black, "You look like some weird circus freak! Its so embarrassing!" she said until he truly wished he had joined a circus. She herself was a rarity, she had ice cold blue eyes, a gentle orchird coat, and a snow white mane and tail cut short as that style was 'in' this season. He would be better able to appreciate her beauty if she did not act so disagreeable, but then again how could he blame her? She didn't want to be in this marriage anymore then he did and at least she had a good reason.

How horrid it must seem to her that she must marry the grave, unusual and not to mention unseemly son of the Pallid family, a family who may not be short on money but absolutely starving for status. Especially since he heard from a housemaid that she had even handsomer suitors before, some supposedly up close to royalty, he had even heard a particular rumor of Prince Blue Blood courting her for some time. Yes, indeed she had felt cheated out of a proper husband if that were true...

"Wake up you fool! We're on!" Narcissa snapped at him.

Nolan suddenly stood straight and put on his most dignified expression as the doors slowly opened presenting them to what had to be nearly a hundred party guests, all either family or relations. Narcissa beamed at them as if she was walking down the aisle with Prince Blue Blood, as they strode down the cobble steps toward the crowd he heard the typical whispers that normally followed him:

"Look at his eyes! Their searing red!"

"Does he have them that way on purpose?"

"How malevolent..."

"Maybe its allergies..."

"No, I was speaking to the mother earlier he was born that way."

The chatter didn't bother him, but he knew he would hear something of it from Narcissa, next she would tell him he must wear different colored contacts or perform an eye color spell. He swallowed the feeling of future dread as they approached to the most decadent  table where their parents awaited them. His mother quickly greeted them with the usual formalities:

"Narcissa darling! You look lovely as ever with that new style of yours, is it not all the rage in Canterlot?" she exclaimed

"Why of course, Mrs. Breeze, nothing but the best for our official engagement party!" Narcissa chirped gleefully

"Oh dear you mustn't call me so! Call me Sea as all my friends do, for soon we will be more than just friends but family!"

Narissa grinned, but not all too convincingly, as they all sat to enjoy the afternoon's delicacies and entertainment. Narcissa and Nolan of course sat together while each pair of their parents sat on either side of him, he was unfortunate enough to land near her father who referred to him gruffly, Nolan had much rather sit next to his wife who merely smiled and spoke when spoken to. Narcissa and his mother chatted as the appetizers were brought about and his father, Lunar Shine, started early on his cider, Zodus sincerely hoped that he would take it easy this time he wasn't sure why but cider always brought the strange goofiness out of him which was most unbecoming of anyone noble even those lower on the scale.

The evening preceded as planned, the food was decadent, the entertainment of the classical and aesthetic, and Lunar had succeeded in not  making a complete and utter fool out of himself or his family. Nolan took the earliest moment to retire to his quarters, normally he would have enjoyed such festivities but Narcissa had elbowed him in his side enough to cause bruising and proceeded to adjust his tie consistently when no one was looking. Yes, only Narcissa could make it truly unbearable. He was accompanied by his favorite and must trusted servant Winston a young pegasus, about the same age as Zodus, who had served the Pallid clan since he was a young colt, trying to earn enough bits for the next best toys and comics at the general store. Winston was no doubt Nolan's best and only friend and was the one who first introduced him to the few things he truly took pleasure in.

"So, how was the party master Zodus? Was Narcissa as much of a pain in the neck as you thought she would be?" he inquired jokingly.

"No...worse, I'm going to need to perform a healing spell on the bruises she gave me..." he replied.

"Well you just have to love those aggressive ones, right?  Grrrrr!"

Nolan rolled his eyes and smirked as they came to his quarters and entered. It was nothing too special but quite comfortable in feel and appearance, he had a queen sized bed outfitted with only the softest velvet blankets and cotton sheets, a big cushioned armchair with a small stand holding a well maintained record player and a small private fireplace that had a roaring blaze in it warming the whole room. Nolan sighed and removed his suit folding it carefully and levitating it carelessly into the laundry shoot, he stretched his wings out exhausted revealing his joy stick cutie mark. This was the only place he ever let it show, he was certain that everypony knew what his special talent was but he didn't need to confirm their suspicions, it was a disgrace for the upper class to have such a childish cutie mark as he did, he knew so because his parents had told him when he first ran home from the arcade with Winston to tell them the exciting news.

"A joy stick for a cutie mark? What respectful noble has such an immature special talent? What will we do? What will we say? Oh my poor boy is doomed to ridicule among nobility!"

It had made him very upset to hear such things and made him feel even worse when his mother began to tear up and left the room. What had he done wrong? It wasn't his fault, he just went out to play with Winston like always, he even had asked them first if it was okay. Nolan sat in his armchair relaxing, and sighed "I had better enjoy this while I can...won't be long before my blushing bride remodels the whole estate...". Winston chuckled and crossed the room to him, "Hey buck up, champ. I'm sure you're pretty little wife will let you have some fun...or bite your head off."

"Don't give her any ideas..." Nolan laughed.

"Yes sir" he replied with a goofy salute.

Nolan smiled for the first time today, Winston really was his best friend even when he was upset and hurt from his parents reactions to his cutie mark he had been there to comfort him, "Who cares what they think?" he had said "Parents are lame anyway, and I think your cutie mark is awesome! What's better than getting the high score and making everypony green about it?". Nolan relished the memory, it was probably the happiest point in his life, he would say 'so far' but his future wasn't looking so pleasant. He blinked and looked out the window beside him, still a bit early to be settling in for the night...

"Hey, Win, want to go a round or two? The night's still young." Zodus asked.

"Sounds great, Zo, but I gotta hurry up and tell your dad that the cider is out so we don't have to completely restock the cellar tomorrow." he chuckled "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya..." Nolan sighed as his friend left, then got  up from his chair to the nightstand next to his bed. Using a levitation spell he moved it to the side to reveal a small hidden door, unlocking it he looked upon his hidden treasures, not gems or diamonds but things he truly valued. Inside were dozens of comic books, a few fantasy novels, and taking up most of the space was a medium sized monitor with two joysticks wired to it. Taking it out he plugged it in the nearest outlet and began to set the game to single player, he quickly made sure his door was locked and started where he left off, the final level to beat the Ultimate boss, Sombrandus.

He had beaten him a few times before but never on expert level, it was the hardest difficulty. Hellions May Grieve

was definetly his favorite game he had others of course but none had enthralled and challenged him as this game had. He raged, he cursed, he thought to quit but he never did he played deep into the night until finally Sombrandus was defeated once more! Only gaming had given Nolan this sort of satisfaction before to feel vigorous, excited and glorified, he soon saved his checkpoint and entered his name on the leader boards then put away his games to rest, returning them to their hiding place and covering it up again.

Crawling in to bed he laid tired but not sleeping, then came the loathing, loathing his parents for not accepting what he was truly like, loathing Narcissa who would much rather burn his treasures as atrocities, loathing all of nobility who would ridicule him for being who he was, but most of all loathing himself for even letting it all get to him. He tossed and turned in his bed, the wedding wouldn't be long off now, knowing his mother the process would probably be sped up, his days were numbered. Silently he wondered, was there anyone other than Winston that would accept him? Anypony who would care? Anypony...who would love him anyway? Despite his flaws, despite his love of games, despite his strange appearance?

No, no one like that will ever come to me...no one will ever love me...

With that thought Nolan fell asleep, a tear slowly running down his cheek.