Chapters The Chronicles of QuickStomp
The ponies stared at the strange creature that now lay passed out in front of the machine it came from. Everyone there, which consisted of Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Vinyl, Octavia, both Princesses and several guards, stood in shocked silence. Rainbow Dash was the first to speak up. "Wha-what just happened?"
Princess Luna spoke up next," It appears that thou strange and hideous creature has lost thy consciousness!"
Twilight and Celestia both walked over to the limp body lying on the floor.
"It appears to be some sort of biped, much like a monkey." Twilight states, prodding your unconscious form with a hoof.
Celestia ran a hoof through your hair. "And what a strange mane! The thing also appears to be almost no hair anywhere else!"
Vinyl, Applejack and Rainbow Dash walked over to the strange machine that lay upside down in the library. Applejack spun one of the wheels with her hoof. "What the hay is this thing? Ah ain't ever seen anythin' like it before."
Rarity approached your body as well, captivated by the clothing you wore. "My goodness, I have never felt anything quite like this before! This material," she fondled your polyester hoodie, "is so soft! I wonder what major occasion it was going to to dress up this fancy!"
Celestia turned to the guards that stood rapt at attention by the side of the room. "Please rope off the library, and fetch my portable laboratory kit," Two Pegasus flew off while she said this, while the rest went outside. Celestia turned, and was about to say something, when all of a sudden Pinkie Pie hopped up from behind the machine.
"HEY EVERYPONY! THERE'S SOME SORT OF WIERD OBJECTS IN HERE!" Pinkie slaps the underside of the car and a hatch from the back falls open, revealing two bagged objects and a large metal box.
Princess Luna runs over to the bags immediately.
"The creature brought weapons! We should detain it at once!" She yells
"Shouldn't we open the bags first, your highness?" Rarity asks.
Celestia glared at her fellow alicorn. "We should never jump to conclusions, my dear sister. Remember Nightmare Night?"
Luna blushed, remembering that misunderstanding, before stammering out an apology.
Celestia turned to the ponies around the car."Could someone please take out those objects and remove the bags? Thank you. Oh, and Ms. Philaharmonic, right?" Octavia snaps to attention like an army solider apon realizing Princess Celestia was talking her.
"Do you think that you could assist Miss Fluttershy outside? This seems to be a little too much for her."
Ever since you climbed out of your car, Fluttershy has been curled up in a corner, shaking from fright.
As Octavia went over to comfort Fluttershy, Vinyl and Applejack pulled the two oddly shaped bags out from the car. Vinyl let a surprised gasp when they pulled out the black box. Princess Luna immediately turned on her.
"What is it, unicorn? Why doth thou sound shocked?"
"I-I-I recognize this!" Vinyl squeaks out. Instantly everypony turned towards her.
"It's not exactly one, but this thing looks a lot like my speakers I use for my shows!" she fiddles with the knobs on the speaker-thing.
"Maybe whatever's in these bags do sumthin' with that!" Exclaims Applejack. Using her teeth and hoovepower, she rips the black fabric surrounding one of the bags, revealing a bright red stringed object. "What in tarnation- a...guitar?"
At the mention of the instrument's name, both Octavia's and Rainbow Dash's ears perk up. Applejack soon found herself being shoved out of the way by everyone, but especially the latter two.
"It doesn't look like a regular guitar..."murmured Twilight.
"That's because it's a fairly new instrument on the scene, called Magically Amplified Sound(MAS) guitars." responded Octavia."Our classical guitarist in the orchestra was thinking of trying one out."
"Though this doens't look like any I've seen in the magazines, though. It's not a Soaring Z, or one of those german ones!" Rainbow announced.
Rarity looked over at your (still) unconscious body. " So, dear, you mean to tell me that thing, is a musician?"
Rainbow ripped open the other bag, revealing another guitar, only it was white and had only four strings.
"Seems so." said Vinyl.
Pinkie jumped out of- yes out of- Celestia's mane before yelling," WHOOOHOOO! THIS DESERVES A PARTY! A 'we-found/summoned-an- alien-musician one!" Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack gave her such death stares that Pinkie stood up and pretended to keel over. "Fine. Later, though?"
Princess Celestia steeped forward. "Now the only thing that remained to do is tidy the library and question the c-"
A deep groan from behind the ponies shattered the investigation.
You lift your head off the ground, shaking the dead cells that floated in front of your eyes out for the second time that day. What, you think, the hell? That was the weirdest dream I've had in.... Your train of thought derails as you take in your surroundings.
Funny, this looks just like the library in that dreeeeeeewaaaaiiit.
You turn around, facing the curious and slightly scared faces of a bunch of colorful ponies...and unicorns...and pegasus...
"Alright, James? Lisa? This isn't funny anymore!" You hear the panic in your voice start to rise as you call out to your bandmates, thinking that they are pranking you. Again.
"It talks! It can talk!" one of the ponies, a pink one, pops up in front of you, causing a slight cardiac arrest occur."Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Or more importantly, what are you? You look reeeeallly funny! What's with the weird clothes? Do you like parties? I looooove parties! In fact, we should have one to welcome yo-" a light blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane flies over and puts her hoof in the pink one's mouth.
"Pinkie, I think we should let the Princesses handle this...thing,"
You wince at being called a thing. It just didn't feel right.
"Who are you calling a 'thing'? You're a fucking flying horse!"
"Yeah, and? You got something against pegasus, whatever you are? And I'm a flying pony, not a horse, For your informat-"
"Pegasus aren't real! Neither are unicorns! Or talking horses!"
"Ponies."
"Whatever! Oh my god," You note the two larger ponies, the white one and the black one, narrow their eyes at you when you take the lord's name in vain,"I'm dreaming right!? Someone please tell me I'm dreaming! This isn't real this isn't real this isn't-" you are cut off by a large book slapping you across the face.
The other ponies turn around, facing a white unicorn in the back with purple glasses, whose horn was glowing. "What? It was freaking me out!"
You finally feel something snap after being referred to a thing again. You pull yourself up to full height, which is about 1/4 higher that the tallest one, and begin walking toward them. "Ok, first, I'm a human! I have a name! I'm not a thing! Second, where on Earth am I! I want answers right now or I swear to-URK!"
Your rant is cut off when one of the ponies, an orange one wearing what looks like a cowboy hat, spins around and kicks you. Of course, due to hight difference, it hits in one of the worst places for a guy to be hit in.
The pain overtakes your whole body as your voice turns into a high pitched squeak. You flop to the floor, gasping for air as you cup your bruised area. The orange one walks over to you. "Now listen here, Mister Human," she sneers at you,"No one and nothing threatens my friends. Now get up, I didn't even buck you that hard."
A puzzled look comes over her face when you remain on the floor."Uh, Mister?"
"AJ! We have no idea what the human is capable of! You could of just started it's-"
You slowly starts to get up, and back up from the ponies.
"Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to do anything! It's just... Ok, let's start from the beginning." you take a deep breath, still in pain from the kick. "Where am I?"
The tall white pony, the one with both a wings and horn, looks at the purple unicorn that spoke up and nods it's approval. The purple one begins speaking.
" I am Twilight Sparkle," she begins, but falters as she sees you snicker into your sleeve. " What? What's funny?"
"Nothing, nothing." you say, before giving her your name in return.
"Okaaay... Well, due to a inter-dimensional teleportation spell I was attempting, you have been pulled from your world and placed in ours, which is located in a different dimension entirely."
"Wait, spell? As in magic?"
"Why, yes. All unicorns can do magic. How do you think Vinyl Scratch hit with that book?"
You rub your face, remembering that. "Oh, Yeah."
"So, due to an unfortunate, disturbance," Twilight casts a glare at Vinyl and a grey pony wearing a bow tie," I lost control of my magic and made the portal about twenty times larger than it needed to be. That's when your machine passed through it, and you ended up here, in Equestria."
You think though the events leading up to now, and chuckle to yourself.
"Well, Miss Sparkle..."
"Just Twilight is fine, thank you."
"Well then, Twilight, it seems I owe you some gratitude. You see, if I had not passed through that portal, I would be trapped at the bottom of a river in my car." You gesture at the metal wreck that lied at the end of the room.
"Uh," Twilight hesitated, as though not expecting that. "You're... Welcome?"
"Next question. Are you all ponies in this universe?"
"Oh, no. We've got griffins, dragons, changelings..." your mouth slowly falls open as she lists several other mythical creatures, when you notice your guitar and your friend's bass on the ground.
"Hey," you point at the instruments on the floor."Why's my stuff on the ground?"
"Just checking for any weap-"
"Just getting your stuff! Alien technology and all! Heh, heh," Twilight is cut off by the light blue (cyan! That's the colour!) pegasus, who places her hoof in Twilight's mouth. You raise an eyebrow at the strange explanation, then shrug.
"Well, at least I haven't been detained or tortured by anyone yet..."
"My gosh! Who would do such a thing?" said the tall white pegasus/unicorn combo (you later learn that they're called alicorns).
"Well, back in my world, if anyone should show up like I just did, our government would probably freak out, or the Americans would do something..."
"That's terrible... Nopony should be treated like that!"
"Yeah...Listen, I thank you for saving me and everything, but I really should get back to my dimension, so of you don't mind..."
"Oh! Of course! You should get back before your friends start worrying!"
She turns to Twilight, who is avoiding your gaze and rubbing her hoofs together.
"Ummmmm, well... You see...." she mumbles, when it occurs to you that she is avoiding the question. A growing sense of dread, cold and unforgiving, begins to build in your chest.
"When you came through, I picked a universe at random... There's actually no known way to choose a universe. And there's an endless amount of universes... I'll try, but I highly doubt that I can find your universe again..."
The seriousness of what she says crunches into you like a sledgehammer. You fall to your knees, as the faces of your family, friends, and co-workers race through your mind. You gulp, your eyes beginning to water.
"So I'm...stuck here? Forever?"
"...Yes."
The Chronicles of QuickStomp
"So I'm...stuck here? Forever?"
"...Yes."
At this one word, everything you've been holding back flows forward through your tears. The hopelessness, a dark, cold feeling, washes over you. The regret of what you haven't done, and what you wish you could have changed. The anger at these ponies for bringing you here. No, the anger at yourself for crashing the car, and ending up here.
The orange pony walks up to you.
"You okay there, mister?"
You smile, just a little, at her accent. Even while sad, a pony with a country accent is still cute.
"Just... Just gimme a sec, here."
You pull back on the waterworks, saving them for another time. Wiping your eyes with your sleeve, you pull yourself up and onto your feet.
The white alicorn stepped forward. "Then you shall stay here, in Ponyville, for the time being. Oh, and I am Princess Celestia, and this is my sister, Princess Luna. We are the rulers of Equestria."
You raise an eyebrow, impressed. "Royalty, eh? That's cool."
"You shall stay here in the library for now with Twilight until we can secure you accommodations." say Luna.
"If that's alright with Twilight, sure. As long as I don't have to sleep in a stable."
"A stable?" The orange pony speaks up again. "Why the hay would we put ya in a stable?"
"Urrr... Never mind."
"Well then we shall be on our way. We have to go talk to the Mayor. She'll introduce you at the next town meeting." Both alicorns walk out the door, shutting it behind them.
Once they leave, all the other ponies explode with questions.
"What's the name of your world?"
"Where did you get that exquisite clothing?"
"Are you sure we can't hold a party?"
"Are you a male, or female? I can't tell."
"What's a car?"
"What's that speaker run on?"
"Girls GIRLS!" Twilight interrupts. I think we should leave our new guest alone, for now. He's been through a lot-You are a male, right?- and needs some time to think things through. You can come visit him tomorrow."
An echoing parade of 'awww's came from the other ponies, before they all trotted out the door. Twilight turns to you. "Is there anything you need to get from your..." she gestures at your vehicle, attempting to remember what you called it.
"My car?" you respond. "Yeah, just gimme a second."
You crawl back into the wreckage, and remove your cell phone (yay for Nokias!), your iPod, Your portable CD player, and every undamaged CD in your car. (the only two that were broke were your niece's Justin Bieber CD and your band's second cover album. Both are terrible, so you don't really mind them gone.) While you are doing this, Twilight goes into a narrow corridor by the side. You hear am knocking, then Twilight's voice. "Come out now, Spike! Everything's safe!"
You hear the unlocking of a door before Twilight reappears with what looks like a small purple dragon with green spikes running down it's back.
"So it's safe to come out nooooowwaaAAAAAAGGHHH WHAT IS THAT THING!!!!!!!!!" The purple dragon started screaming as he took cover behind Twilight.
"This is a human, Spike. I brought him over by accident from his own universe. He's gonna be staying here for a while, until Celestia finds him a place to stay!"
You kneel down to the dragon. At least some dragons talk in stories back home, and you have been numbed due to the fact that you have just met talking ponies, so Spike doesn't scare you as much as you would have thought. Plus he was tiny, only up to your knee.
"Hey there!" you say, and give him your name.
"Yo-You're not gonna eat me or anything, right?" Spike says from behind Twilight.
You laugh. It feels good to laugh, what with all the recent events you've been through, and thankfully it's not a high pitched insane laugh that escapes your lips. (though your voice is still a bit high pitched, due to Applejack's well placed kick) "Me? Eat you? Heh, shouldn't I be the one saying that? I mean, you 're a friggin' dragon!"
"How do you know what I am?" Spike replies, leaning a bit more out from
Twilight's leg.
"Back where I come from, dragons are mythical and powerful creatures, and not things to mess with."
Spike steps out from behind Twilight, puffing out his tiny chest in pride. "Yeah, that's right! You watch yourself, mister! We're the same here, too!" at this, Twilight rolls her eyes.
"So I guess you'll be wondering where you'll be sleeping, right? There's an extra bed up in the attic we can bring down! You can use the guest room." Twilight gestures at one of the three doorways upstairs. "The other is my room, and the final one's the bathroom."
You nod, taking what few possessions you have left in your arms.
"Thanks, Twilight. For letting me stay here, and saving my life."
"Oh," the purple unicorn blushes at the praise. "It was nothing. Now you should get to bed. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow!"
You nod, and after propping up your guitars and amp in a corner, you head upstairs to your new room. It's a rather small area, with you having to duck your head to avoid the roof. Shelves of books in a variety of colours were in here, though the written language was completely different here. A glimpse of an English on one of the covers makes you raise your eyebrows in surprise. What the, you think, reading the title.
A Rock Farmer's Almanac, it read.
Rock farmers? What the hell is a rock farmer?
You shake your head in confusion when there's a knock on the door.
"Come in!"
Twilight enters, levitating a smaller bed behind her.
"It's a little small, I know, but I can't take you to Woody's to get measured for a new one until the Mayor announces your arrival."
You thank her anyways, and ask about the different written languages.
"Oh! Well the unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasus all speak equestrian, but all have different styles of writing. This is my private collection, so it's mostly in unicorn, yes."
You gesture at the almanac. "Didn't take you for the farm type, though"
Twilight gasps at the mis-shelved book, before taking it out with magic and apologizing profusely. You smile at this, for it reminds you of you frie... The tears begin to return. Noticing this, Twilight stops. "I think I'll just leave you now. If you need anything, just call! Good night!"
The tears begin flowing again as soon as Twilight shuts the door. The feeling of desperation and hopelessness returns, stronger than ever. You decide to let everything out now, and get it over with. You are in a new world now, and will have to deal with it your own way. You curl up on the small bed, dragging the cover up and over your body, not even bothering to remove your clothes. And so, on your first night in Equestria, you cry yourself to sleep.
The Chronicles of QuickStomp
"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!"
A cheery, hyperactive voice reminiscent of you niece pierces your dreamless sleep. You toss and turn in your bed, not wanting to get up. "Go away, Caroline." you mutter. "Let me sleep a little longer..."
At these words you twist in your bed, only to find that, well, you've ran out of bed to lie on. Your face cracks across the cold wooden floor, pain reaching up through your nose.
Great, you think, talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed....
"Hey! Mister Huuuuumaaaaan?! Are you ok?"
At the title of 'Mister Human', your previous memories of last night flood into your mind. You choke back the feeling of hopelessness and panic that attacks once again, and put on a plastic smile. You roll over on your back, and let out a gasp of air as the pony in your room jumps on your stomach.
"Urgleburglensmdns! What the- How'd you get in here?"
The pink pony stared at you for a second, then leaned up real close to your face, before taking a deep breath and....
"Hidon'tyourembermefromlastnight?MynameisPinkiePiebutyoucancallmePinkieorPieorPinkiepi-"
"Alright, alright, never mind," you turn left, making the pink pony whose name was Pinkie roll off with you.
"Omygosh! That's right! Today's the day Mayor Mare's gonna introduce you to the town!"
You cast the pink hyperactive (and maybe slightly crazy) pony a glance.
"Already? But...There could be a chance that... Maybe Twilight found my way home..."
Pinkie's ears droop. "Yeah.... Well..."
You are interrupted by a huge BANG from downstairs, followed by a yell of frustration.
"WHY THE BUCK IS THIS NOT WORKING?"
You jump up and, slamming the door behind you, rush down the stairs. Twilight is staring at the mural of drawings that you came out of last night, breathing heavily. Her mane was splayed out all over the place, and she was slamming her hooves on the ground.
Pinkie popped up in front of you, quite literally knocking you off their feet. "What the- Pinkie I thought you were upsta-"
"Nope! Not anymore!" She leans down to your ear and whispers, "Be careful, though, Twilight's in one of her 'moods'"
"What? Mood? What mood?" Byt the party pony was nowhere to be seen. Shrugging off the strange feeling you had when talking to Pinkie (who was totally a ninja in your mind now) you walk over to Twilight. "Uhhhh....Twi?"
She turns to face you, and you let out a small yeep. Her eyes are the first thing you notice. They are nothing but huge white orbs, with tiny pinpricks of black where her pupils would be. She is struggling to restrain a obvious twitch, and her eyelid is partially closed, making one eye larger than the other, hunchback of notre dame style. There is sweat dripping down her face. After realizing it's you, she smiles, increasing the creep factor by 9000%. The smile is obviously strained, and is giving her a Joker-ish vibe.
"Oh, it's you! Hey!" She says in an unnervingly cheery voice.
"Urrrr....Twilight....is something wrong?"
"Wrong?" Her eye twitches. Oh shit. "Why in the world would anything be wrong? I was just up all night doing nothing but attempting to find your dimension so you could return, an so far I've seen knights, more humanoid creatures that weren't you, a desert planet with twin suns,Several things nopony should have to see, an underwater city, and I've prevented at least 7 different monsters from passing through and destroying Ponyville! So yes, there is. Nothing. Wrong."
During this whole 'V for Vendetta' style rant, Twilight Sparkle had been slowly approaching you. When she finished you were pressed up against a bookshelf, with her looking up at you with those insane eyes.
You manage to finally say something after having been paralyzed by her rant due to fear. "You....W-were up all night looking for my world?"
"Yes. I. Was."
"Maybe we should take a break, then..." You say, attempting to calm her down.
Twilight sighs and flops down on the ground. "Oh thank Celestia! I think I was about to pass out there from over exhaustion!"
You think over what she's been doing. Magic must be very tiring, and it looks as if Twilight had expended more than a reasonable amount.
"Oh Godesses this is harder than levitating a Ursa Minor...." The purple unicorn groans from the floor. You get an idea at this moment. You head over to your instruments, which now lay in a corner, and pick up your guitar. Twilight's ears perk up when she sees you.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
"I'm just gonna play you a little of our music to help relax you, that alright?"
"Music? From your world? Oh wait oh wait oh wait just a second!" The librarian jumps up and rushes upstairs, soon returning with a paper and quill levitating next to her, surrounded by that weird purple glow.
She sits down on a nearby pillow and looks at you expectantly.
You cast her a confused look. "What are you doing?"
"This is a great time to compare our culture's music! You see, I'm compiling a report about your species as extra-credit for Princess Celestia. I'm sure we can learn sooooo much about each other!"
You raise an eyebrow at this statement. There's a LOT about humans that not even you know about. You figure that you should also learn about the world where you are currently stuck in as well.
"Alrighty then," you say, "In my world, Earth-"
"Like earth ponies?" Asks Twilight.
"No, the planet's name is Earth. Well, our music is very diverse, much like our people. I noticed that you ponies are split into unicorns, pegasi and normal ponies. Humans come in many shapes, sizes, races and types. Each culture of humans has it's own unique music, and that culture's music is divided into types, and those types are divided into subtypes, and so on." While you are explaining this you pull a guitar pick from your wallet and begin to tune your 1985 Les Paul, playing a couple of chords. A question pops up in your mind. "What types of music exist here, in Equestria?"
Twilight stops writing and thinks for a second, wrinkling her nose. "Well, classical music has been around since the Goddesses themselves. We also have pop music, like Sapphire Stones, and party music, like techno and dubstep, as well as country, jazz and opera." She smiles, and looks at you expectantly.
You wait for her to continue, but promptly find yourself dumbstruck by the lack of music variety. "Ar-are you sure you're not forgetting any?"
"No, I don't think so."
"....Huh."
"What's wrong?"
"That's just such a small number of music types! And you missed the biggest influence of them all, by the way-rock."
Now it was Twilight's turn to raise an eyebrow quizzically at you. "Rock? What's that like?"
"It's a .... Wait a minute, you mean you have techno, country, jazz and pop music but no rock in Equestria?"
"I've never heard of it before... maybe..."
Twilight floats a large book off a shelf. You glance at the title. The writing is the familiar loopy writing on the texts in Twilight's guest room you stayed in, so therefore it just looks like a bunch of scribbles to you. She flips all the way to the back of the book, and then runs a hoof up a page, mouthing the words she is reading.
"Huh. Apparently, according to 'Equestrian Notes: a History of Music' there is no such thing as rock."
You stare at her, flabbergasted. No rock? What kind of hell is this?
"Do you think you could play some for me?"
You blink your eyes and shake your head, clearing it of it's state of dumbfoundedness.
"I said," Twilight repeats herself, a slightly annoyed look on her face, "Do you think you could play me some?"
"What? Oh yeah, sure. Do you wanna here a certain type or....?"
"What kinds are there?"
You take a deep breath, than begin to rattle of the countless types of rock you have played or heard. Light, classic, heavy metal, speed metal, punk, screamo, alternative and many more names pass your lips before you stop. Twilight feverently writes down everything you said, before swiping the quill across the page with a flourish and picking up a new one with her magic.
"Let's hear some of this 'classic' rock. Is it like classical music?" She asks.
You think for a second. AC DC? Classical? But some bands were.... The most classical sounding song pops in your head, and you smile.
'Yeah' you think, 'That'll do'
You place your fingers in a familiar position, and, placing the pick in your mouth, begin playing the beginning of 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zepplin with your fingers.
You feel the vibrations of the strings deep within you as your fingers move of the frets with practiced ease. You finish the introduction to the song, not planning on playing the whole thing without hooking up your effects pedal and amp.
Glancing over at Twilight, you see that her eyes are closed and she was swaying to the music. Noticing you stopped, she opens her eyes.
"That was beautiful! Are there any lyrics?"
"Yeah, this song's just hard to play and sing at the same time."
"What's it called?"
"'Stairway to Heaven' By Led Zepplin"
"Led....Zepplin?"
"Yeah, they're a band."
"Ohhhh.... What's the song about?"
"Well, that's not the whole song, but it's about a lady dying."
Twilight gasps and puts her hoof to her mouth. "That's terrible! Why would anypony write a song about that?"
"There are worse things songs have been written about." You say nonchalantly, with the song 'A Little Piece of Heaven' by Avenged Sevenfold coming to mind. Twilight just shakes her head.
"Let's stop music for a while. What about...."
The two of you proceed to spend the next two hours teaching each other as much as possible about each other's world's and cultures. You tell Twilight about television, vehicles, government, Earth as a planet and food, as well as much human history as you could remember from your high school years. She in turn tells you about Equestria, the Goddesses and the different races there, as well as a brief display of pony etiquette and a quick explanation of who's who in Ponyville.
A quick knock on the door cuts into your explanation of transportation on Earth.
"For the last time Twi, I don't know why we drive on parkways and park on driveways-"
"EXCUSE ME!" A loud voice, also female, comes barging through the window.
Twilight opens the door. Standing there is a brownish pony, with curly grey hair and glasses.
Twilight steps back. "Oh, Mayor Mare! Is it that time already?"
"Yes, Twilight, it is." The mayor looks over you. "So you're the alien species that we shall be introducing to the town? My, Lyra's going to throw a fit."
"Uhhhhhh...." You glance over at Twilight, but she just waves her hoof in a dismissing manner.
"You really are something to look at! Hands, no hair, except your mane... And so tall! What is the name of your species?"
"I-uh, hu-human?" You manage to say, startled by the promptness of this pony as she circled you.
"Well, Mister Human, we shall have to get going soon. Today's the anniversary of the founding of Ponyville, so I will introduce you before our guest performer."
Twilight smacks her face with her hoof. "Gah! I forgot today's also the celebration! Mayor, do you mind bringing him to the town hall? I gotta go and make sure that everything's set!" With that, Twilight grabs a couple of papers and places them in a bag, which she then places over her back before taking off through the door.
The Mayor turns towards you. "Let us depart as well. We need to set up for my speech."
You nod and follow the Mayor towards the door. You glance back at the wreckage of your car that still remained in the library, (Twilight said she was going to move it once you were introduced) and take a deep breath as you step out of the door and into the land of Equestria for the first time.
From what you picked up on the Mayor's conversation with Twilight, you were currently in a town called Ponyville, and it did not fail to disappoint. The town was the exact replica of a country village, only with brighter colours than one would expect on the houses. Most of the cabins were the same in shape and colour, but unique buildings stood out amongst others. You guessed these were shops. Glancing back from whence you came, you see that the library is built inside a tree! It's like something from that show your niece watches, "The Bernstein Bears".
The mayor heads off down a nearby street, towards what looks like a much larger building in the middle of the town. Seeing as you don't know your way around, you shove your hands in your pockets and follow her.
While traveling, you take notice of something.
"Scuse' me, Mayor?" She turns around, casting you a quizzical look. "Where is everyone?"
" You mean everypony? At the town hall. That's where we're headed." She points towards the larger building with her hoof. Shrugging your shoulders, you head out to meet the citizens of Ponyville for the first time.
Everypony was gathered in the large space in front of the town hall, ready to begin the celebration of Ponyville's anniversary. For this occasion the hall had been outfitted with a stage, thanks to some heavy work by Big Mac and the construction ponies. There were two questions on everyone's lips today-who was the mystery performer for the celebration and why did both Princesses visit Ponyville last night? Rainbow Dash flew overhead, making sure that no clouds floated into the sky during the celebration, and Applejack ran a small snack bar with Pinkie Pie off to the side, but Fluttershy and Rarity were no where to be seen. Twilight sprinted right up to Applejack, completely out of breath.
"Where's Spike? He's got my list!"
Applejack produced a piece of paper from under the snack bar counter. "He's helping Rarity and Fluttershy with our 'special guest'. He left this for you, though, sugar."
"Oh thank Celestia! How much longer till we start?"
Pinkie Pie burst up from under the counter, a huge grin on her face. Both Twilight and Applejack steeped back, startled by her sudden appearance. "In exactly 12 minutes, 45 seconds and 21 milliseconds, silly! Oh, and can you believe that Sapphihsgdnfkdksbslfn!"
Twilight's horned glowed as she shoved an apple into Pinkie's mouth. "Pinkie! Quiet! It's a surprise, remember?"
Pinkie chomped down on the apple, swallowing it whole. "Okey dokey lokey!" She agreed before disappearing under the counter.
"Wha- how in tarnation DOES SHE DO THAT?" Said Applejack, looking where Pinkie well, poofed.
"I already tried to figure THAT out..." Sighed Twilight. "Alright, I gotta go and do one last check before we can start!"
"Sure thing, sugar! Oh, Ah forgot tah ask, but how's the 'visitor'?"
"He's fine. Mayor Mare's introducing him during her speech. Now I gotta go!"
Applejack tried to say something, but Twilight had already taken off through the crowd, checklist floating next to her. Sighing, she went back to her work, mumbling under her breath.
" Ah don't trust that darn human...."
You glanced up from your phone when the Mayor called your name. You were attempting to get reception, kind of stupid now that you are in another world. You close Tap Tap Revenge 4 and walk up to the Mayor. You are both back stage, in the town hall itself. You snuck through the back door, managing to avoid any of the other ponies. The area was closed off for today, so no one had seen you, yet. Mayor Mare tapped her hoof impatiently, waiting for you.
"Finally! Okay, you know when you are coming on?" You nod your head. She had explained this to you several times on the way here. "Good. Now, wait for your cue, then exit through this door and head onto the stage. I'm warning you now, I don't know how the crowd will react."
You nod again, fully aware that, as the alien species, not all the ponies would accept you. The mayor waltzes out the door, slamming it shut behind her, followed by the sound of hundreds of hooves stomping the ground. Twilight explained to you earlier that that was a common way of clapping.
"A-hem. Citizens of Ponyville...." Mayor Mare began her speech, which chronicled the founding of Ponyville thanks to some farm nearby called Sweet Apple Acres and how this was the 75th anniversary of the town. You faded in and out of the speech, until you hear your cue coming up.
"And so, many of you are wondering why the Princesses came last night. Well, due to an unfortunate accident, a unique being has crossed over into our world from another." A gasp ran through the crowd and there was an small explosion of chatter. "He is not dangerous, and will be living in Ponyville like a regular pony. I hope you all treat him with the same love and tolerance you shows to your fellow ponies. With that, here he is!" A small screech of feedback (screeee!) cuts out your name, but the Mayor doesn't even falter. "....The human!"
You take a deep breath, and open the door leading onto the stage. You are immediately greeted by an even louder gasp than earlier, and step back sheepishly. The Mayor beckons you forward with her hoof, before turning back to the crowd.
"He shall be staying in the Ponyville Library for now. Would you like to say something?" She asks you.
Nervously, you step up to the podium, removing the microphone, which, at normal height, remained at your waist.
"Ummm..." You are greeted by silence. "Hi?"
"GO BACK TO THE EVERFREE FOREST, MONSTER!" A voice yells out from the back. All the ponies burst into conversation at the outburst, some agreeing, some disagreeing, and some just confused.
You angrily stare at the direction that the voice came from. "Say that to my face, bitch." You utter into the microphone, causing the whole town to fall silent. You awkwardly stand onstage, realizing that this wasn't one of your better moments, when the Mayor took the microphone back.
"Well....yes....Our new guest, everyone-"
"Guest? He's a monster!"
"What if he eats ponies?!"
"Send him into Everfree!"
"Are those HANDS?!"
"I like cupcakes!"
"Shut up, Pinkie."
The Mayor then nodded to a mare who sat behind what appeared to be a turntable, who began playing a steady, poppy beat. The mare looked familiar, and you realized she was the one that hit you with the book last night, the one with the blue hair and weird glasses. She smiled and waved at you, though she seemed bored out of her mind.
"And now," Mayor Mare announced, "Our guest performer for the rest of the evening, the one, the only, Sapphire Shores!"
A pale yellow pony with a crystalline blue mane wearing what you thought was the most sparkly outfit ever seen (in both the human and Equestrian worlds) and waaay too much makeup walked on to the stage to a thunderous applause. It seemed that everyone-errr, everypony, knew this character. She tossed a dark look in your direction, as if to say "Get this thing off my stage." Walking up to the mic, she waved a hoof in the air, the universal symbol for quiet down.
"Hey Ponyville! Ready to get your party on!?"
This was met with a louder applause than before, as almost everypony was stomping their feet as well as cheering. The music crescendoed in the background before the yellow pony begin singing.
What's the one thing that makes this world go round?
Love!(clap clap) and Tolerance!
This little thing won't make you frown!
Love!(clap clap) and Tolerance!
When everypony's angry,
Sad or grumpy it's all the same!
We just got to love (clap clap) and tolerate.
You have tuned out of the song by now, as it reminds you of the poppy crap you hear on the radio at home. You are sitting off to the side of the stage, slumped dejectedly in your chair. (Pony chairs were similar to human chairs, just smaller and wider so they could lay down on them) Twilight is next to you, bobbing her head to the beat of the crap coming from onstage.
You twist to face her in the chair.
"How can you like this stuff? It's all the same, over and over again."
Twilight frowns at your outburst. "Sapphire Shores is a very talented singer thank you! And a very nice person, too! Name a human singer that can hold a 3-hour concert!"
"You'd be surprised." You mumble. "I guess I wouldn't mind... Only if she was actually singing!"
Twilight shoots you a confused look. "Not singing? But then what's that I hear, if it's not her?" She pauses just as Shores holds a high note in her song.
You shake your head at her acceptance of this flagrant lie that Shores is presenting. "It's a technique that pop singers on Earth used too. It's called 'lip-synching'. She's just mouthing the words, that DJ is playing a recording of the song."
Twilight squints at Shores, her eyes following the pop pony's mouth movements in time with the beat. She lets out a huge gasp of surprise when Shores missed a lyric by just a little bit. "She's a fake! We have to expose her!" Twilight gets up from her chair. "I'm going to stop this right now!"
You grasp the purple pony by her tail, getting a tiny yelp and a smack across the shins.
"Ow! Jeez, what the fuck was that for?"
"Oh, ah..." Twilight blushes slightly. "The tail's there for a reason... You see it covers up our... You know..."
You feel the heat on your cheeks as you realize what you just did. "Oh shit! Oh my God I'm so sorry Twilight! I just wanted to stop you! Jeez... Anyway, don't do anything right now! Just let the town have it's fun right now. I'm gonna head back to the Library for now."
The nicest pony you've met so far puts on a defeated expression before plopping down in her seat. "Alright. I have to stay here, anyway."
Nodding at her, you head back through the door leading into the town hall.
You throw open the door to the library and enter. The concert could still be heard from afar, for it was blaring through all the portable speakers in Ponyville. The first thing you notice is the group of ponies wearing silly looking construction hats taking apart your wrecked car.
"Oi! What's going on?" You say. A grey pegasus steps forward.
"Princess Luna's orders, human. She going to analyze your technology. Now get out of here, I don't wanna catch some alien disease."
You snarl at her and are about to say something you are probably going to regret before you notice that they've removed your hidden stash of 'entertainment' under the seat. Grabbing them, you stutter a fast apology before rushing upstairs to the guest room. Locking the door behind you, you shove the porn mags under your bed. Last thing we need is for Twilight to get all up in your anatomy. That would just be creepy.
Even though the door is locked, and the window shut, the terrible pop music floats over from the town hall. Sighing, you take out your IPod and plug it into your portable CD player. Not bothering to search for something, you hit shuffle and crank up the volume to max to drown out Shore's recorded voice. You jump onto your bed as the first song comes blaring over the speakers. The heavy e-string intro of "Dr.Feelgood" by Motley Crüe instantly lightens up you mood. You sing along with the lyrics when they come on, patting your stomach in time to the drums.
Rat-tailed Jimmy is a secondhand hood
Deals in Hollywood
Got a 65' Chevy
Primed with flames
Traded for some powdered goods
You jump up and begin to air guitar the chorus riff when it comes back on.
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood!
He's the one that makes you feel alright
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood!
He's gonna be your Frankenstien
Now, to truly understand the situation, one must remove their view of your awesome air guitar and look at the whole picture. That CD player isn't very quiet. It was fresh off the market, and used a new liquid speaker technology to be really loud. This CD player was so loud, that you could get it OVER Shores performance in the middle of town. Eventually the performance dwindled to a halt when the roaring rock riff tore through everyone's ears. Pinkie looked up from her snack bar.
"What is that? It's really loud!"
Applejack was just plain pissed off. "I'm gonna buck whoever's playing that so hard in the teeth.... I liked that song Shores was singing!"
Rarity and Fluttershy had confused looks on their faces. This was a type of music nopony had really heard before. Plus, was that a male voice they heard? Well, almost nopony was shocked. Twilight immediately began running (galloping?) towards the source of the sound, Rainbow Dash following her through the skies. Twilight ran straight up to the library as the construction ponies inside were running from it.
"Stop it! Stop that terrible noise!" One yelled, holding her hooves to her ears.
Twilight rushed through the door. Rainbow Dash decided then it was her turn to make an appearance, and flew straight at the window to the guest room.
Twilight burst into the guest room with a pained expression on her face. You stop your air drumming ('Breakout' by the Foo Fighters was playing now) and face her. Turing down the music with your CD player's remote, you smile at her. "That, Twilight, is some of the better music I was telling you about earlier."
"Music? That wasn't music! That was pure, de-sensitizing white noise! What mare sings like that, anyway? Turn it off, turn it off!"
Only with the music off you can notice that the concert has stopped.
"Huh, first sign of good music and everyone shuts up?!"
"Good? That was ter-"
Twilight is cut off by a cyan blur speeding through your window, knocking it open, before sprawling across the floor in a heap. You see the heap is the rainbow maned-Pegasus from before, the one who kept correcting you.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight yells. "How many times do I have to tell you to use the bucking door?"
Rainbow grins and flips herself back onto her hooves. "I just wanna know what that music was! That was rock like I've never heard of before! Who was that?"
You do a double take at the mention of your favourite genre. "Whoa. Twi here said you didn't have rock!"
The pegasus swipes a hoof across the floor, looking slightly sheepish. "Weeell... It's fairly new. I was gonna use some during the best flier contest, and that would've been the most publicity the genre's had... It's mostly played in Manehattan clubs... I've got some recordings at home if you wanna listen to them, though."
You get a feeling of excitement when she offers this to you. Immediately you jump on the proposition. "I'd love to hear some Equestrian rock, sure!"
Rainbow smiles at this. "Okay, stay here! I'll be back, in ten seconds!" She zooms out the window, leaving behind a rainbow afterimage.
"She's kidding, right?"
Twilight is about to answer your question when a huge crash echoed throughout the library, followed by a tomboyish scream of pain
The Chronicles of QuickStomp
Alright, this is my first time venturing out into the wide world of Internet stories.... Welp, here goes nothing. Oh, and I'm fine with any criticism. Written on my Ipod.
You brush the hair out of your eyes as you step out of the radio station into the cold, windy Canadian air. You shift your 1985 les Paul strapped tightly across your back into a more comfortable position, adjusting for your amp that you're carrying in your other hand. Your fellow bandmates wave goodbye to you, expecting to see you tomorrow for practice. You pop the trunk of your car with your free hand before placing said amp and guitar in the back next to your friend's bass, which he left in there... again. You climb into the front of the car, flipping open the side compartment to peruse the wide assortment of CDs you have collected over the years. You have an iPod, but you feel more connection to the music when it's not just a simple piece of data. To you, the music feels more special when there's a solid object anchoring it down in real life. You decide to blow up your eardrums after the lighter music your band played today, so you slide in Nirvana's "Nevermind" album and crank it full blast. Soon you are doing your best Dave Gruhol impersonation, headbanging to the pounding drums of "Breed". During your little air-drumming exercise, you fail to notice the text you just got from your roommate. Had you read it, you would have seen this:
B careful on the road today black ice everywhere & we don't have snow tires yet
And promptly SLOWED THE HECK DOWN! But you didn't read it, and therefore didn't slow down, therefore losing control when you hit the patch of black ice on the bridge you were crossing, therefore making Cobain's voice the last thing you heard when your car went through the guardrails and straight towards the raging black water below...
"Spike! Are you done with that magic symbols yet? Zecora said it had to be precisely correct or this will end verrrrry badly!"
"Yes Twilight! Just finished!"
Spike walked over to the purple unicorn, whose head was deep in a book Zecora lent her.
"Man, does my hand hurt now!" Spike exclaimed as he dropped the (once-large) piece of chalk into a container filled with similar-sized shapes while stretching his hand. "If you were so worried about the exactness of the drawings, why didn't you draw it with magic?"
Twilight looked up from the thick book, frowning ever so slightly. "Spike, last time I messed up a transportation spell it almost put AJ in the hospital! I don't wanna do anything like that again!"
Spike scratched his chin."But this isn't a long distance teleportation spell, right? It's something different!"
Twilight sighed, closing the book. "Well yes and no. It's technically a teleportation spell, but it's supposed to allow one to reach into alternate universes. It's like the magic the ancient zebras knew, or whatever powers that Whooves pony's thingy .....what's it called?
"TARDIS?"
"Yes, that! Plus this is an unexplored area of magic! The unicorn that invented it, according to myth, disappeared without a trace! If I can pull this off, my name will be up there along Star-Swirl the Bearded's! Ohhhh, Princess Celestia would be so pleased!"
Spike rolled his eyes as Twilight went on and on about the future and the chances of inter-dimensional blah blah. He just hoped that the tree wouldn't explode or something. (he had already moved his comics to Pinkie's place, just in case)
Twilight placed down the book, and walked over to the library clearing, where a mural of intricate pictures and runes were drawn (by Spike). Twilight went over her checklist one more time- yes, everything was perfect- then took a deep breath.
"Alright, Spike, let's do this!"
Spike nodded from his corner in his makeshift armor he whipped together out of cookie sheets and pots.
Twilight began the magic spell. She concentrated harder than ever before, recalling the text she had just read about this.
Start small, she thought, let me just reach through.... Suddenly there was a blazing light that pierced the darkness of her mind's eye. Twilight, startled, stepped back, but kept persevering. The light grew brighter and brighter until an image, clear as day, was presented in her mind. It was a nice country bridge overlooking a raging river. Twilight was confused for a second, for the world she saw was very much similar to hers. Spotting a small rock lying by the strange-looking metal fence thing, Twilight focused on it with all her might. A small black hole began forming on the ground in the middle of the runic drawings.
C'mon Twilight, she thought, just make a portal and...
SLAM!
"HEYY MS. LIBRARIAN PONY! ARE YOU IN HERE SOMEWHERE!" the scream echoed from the back door.
"Gah!" surprised, Twilight lost control of her magic, attempting to focus on both the real world and the one she was looking at in her mind's eye. As uncontrolled magic flowed through her horn, a much larger portal appeared on the library floor amongst the chalk drawings.
Spike looked at the portal nervously. "Twi? What's going on?"
Twilight strained to close the portal before anything got through. In her mind's eye, a fearsome blue machine just came squealing around the mountain's turn.
What the, she thought, when the blue machine seemed to lose control, and smashed right through the metal fence straight towards her (now expanded)portal.
"OH NO! GET DOW-" but her words were cut off as the fearsome blue machine passed thought the portal and into the world of Equestria, coming up through the floor as Twilight and the the two ponies that interrupted her- one a white unicorn with shaggy spiked hair, the other a dull grey earth pony with a pink bowtie- watched in awe and fear as it promptly smashed gracefully into the library wall, causing several books to fall from their shelves.
The grey earth pony turned to her partner. "Vinyl, I think this might be a bad time to ask for those books now..."
But the words fell on deaf ears as the white unicorn was already running up to the (now smoking) blue machine, which had appeared to flip while passing through the portal.
"What the buck is this thing!?" Vinyl Scratch, Ponyville's local DJ, turned to Twilight."That was awesome Ms. Librarian pony! What spell was that!? It would be awesome at the rave next we-"
Twilight's voice was filled with panic when she addressed to two ponies. "Step away from the...thing right now! I don't know what it is! It's from another dimension! I could be dangerous! Oh no, what would the princess think of me if I accidentally caused the ponopcalypse! She'll never forgive me! I'll fail! I'll-"
"Ms. Sparkle," Octavia Philaharmonic, Vinyl's roommate and cello player, placed her hoof on Twilight's quivering figure."I think we should get some help, before we check any of this out."
Twilight gasped in shock as her body stopped quivering and froze. "OmigoshyesquickspikesendanurgentmessagetoprincessCelestiaandtellhertocomequickbringgaurdsandohsweetCelestiawhatifthatthingissomesortofhugetrapbydiscordorsombraIneedtogetthegirlsandohspiketelltheprincesstobringtheEle-"
Vinyl shoved her hoof into Twilight's mouth, cutting off her hyperactive speech. "You never told me you were ADHD, Twi! Heh heh. Stay here. I'll go round up your friends."
Twilight breathed a sigh of temporary relief. "Oh thank you! That means I can begin the tests right away!" She threw a smile in the direction of the two ponies and scampered off to the basement to collect her lab supplies. The two ponies looked at each other, then, after a skeptical simultaneous shrug of the shoulders, took off to fulfill their new objectives.
BLEEEEEECHUP! Spike , who had been listening the whole time, rubbed his snout after sending off Twilight's letter. Now all they could do was wait, and watch.
The first thing you feel is your fingers. There's a tingling feeling running through them to your brain, and the feeling spreads throughout the rest of your hands. You begin to realize that you can open your eyes, but keep them closed anyway, like when you don't want to get up in the morning. You groan, and shift your body to make yourself more comfortable. A sudden sharp bolt of pain, white hot, runs up your spine when you try to move your left leg. The pain makes you open your eyes, to see what is wrong.
The first thing you notice is that you are in your car. The second, your windshield is missing. And third, you're upside down! You shake your head, trying to clear the spots that are haplessly floating in front of your eyes. You glance down (or up, as you're upside down) at your leg, noticing that it's stuck between the seat and the dashboard.
Why is the dashboard so close? What happened?, you think to yourself, when the memories of the crash come racing back into your mind. You freeze as the panic and fear rush back over you, then breath a sigh of relief as the "I'm not dead" feeling rushes over you. Your mind makes the connection that you were about to crash into a river before you blacked out, and the feeling of relief becomes a feeling of curiosity. If you're not at the bottom of a river, then where the fuck are you? You reach up for a second, then stop as you hear a voice.
"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! I'm so glad you made it!" the voice sounds relieved and feminine, and is coming from behind you. You hear the sound of....hooves?....on the ground, and figure you must be outside. You still can't see very well through all the wreckage.
A regal sounding voice, powerful but calm nonetheless, responds to the other one, "Yes, Twilight," Twilight? You ponder, who names their kid Twilight? And what sort of names for princesses at Celestia and Luna? "It was wise for you to call for us. I cannot believe that you succeeded in your experiments, but I don't think you meant to bring something so....big." You hear more clopping, getting closer. Why the heck are they on horses? You think to yourself. You slide your hand under the seat, feeling for the lever.
"It appears to be some machine, used for transportation. It looks like some sort of carriage," The regal voice speaks out again.
"Did thou think to look in thy carriage, perhaps?" A louder, powerful voice joins the fray, and you hear more clipping on the other side of your car. Your fingers grasp the handle under the seat, then pull. The seat falls back, and you fall down, slamming on your head. You groan in pain.
"What the- what was that?"
"Somethin' inside that there thing moved!"
"Oh, do be careful, Twilight!"
More voices from outside, all with different accents and tones. You roll your eyes, and begin to pull yourself out through your window. Rage begins to build in you as the thoughts that these people could have helped you, assisted you, but didn't began swarming through your head. You were going to completely snap on these people, and god help them when you did. You finally squeeze past the shattered glass, being careful not to cut yourself, stand up.
"Alright, what the hell is wrong with you peo-" You turn around, only to be faced with the astonished faces of.... Ponies? You blink several times, bewildered. Your brain takes in the surroundings. There's books and shelves throughout the wooden room.
A...library? You think to yourself. Your eyes focus on the colorful ponies that stand in front of you. What kind of horse is purple? You think, when one of them, a yellow one with a pink mane, lets out a shriek.
Not a neigh, or a whinny, a. Human. Scream. In return, you let loose a scream of your own. "What the fuck is going on here! Did that thing just scream!!???"
The taller, white one with...a...is that a...horn?....and....wings?....steps forward. It opens it's mouth and...speaks.
"Greetings, Creature. I am-" At this point you catch nothing, for your brain then ceases to function and you black out.