Ratchet and Clank: Nefarious Equine

Somewhere on the edge of the Shadow Sector...

"Lawrence! What's going on!? You said we were coming within range of a space station!!"

"Well we were sir... How was I to know it would suddenly explode?"

"LAAAAAAAAAWREEEENCE!!! *bzzt* Oh, Janice!... It's been so long. Too long! Say you'll leave me again for that nasty villain Englebert!

Oh Lance! You make me feel like a young boy again!

...Say what?"

"Again, we should really get that fixed..." Thunk!

Both Dr Nefarious and his servant Lawrence continued to drift through space, passing several lush planets and a rather large blue star. Even a battle cruiser neglected to notice the chunk of rock that held two of the galaxies most notorious robots. But far in the distance lay a lone black hole, it's hunger consuming everything within range. The chunk of rock began to stretch and bend as the waves of force threatened to stretch them apart like the galaxies most painful rubber band.

"Lawrence?! Save me!"

"I'm sorry sir, but it seems we are trapped in it's gravitational pull..."

"I will annihilate that foolish lombax if I ever return!! YEEAARRGGGHHH!" His metallic body was pulled into a long string of particles, disappearing into the black abyss before them.

The vortex failed to obliterate the two mechanical beings as they tumbled through the tunnel of electric blue energy. For what seemed like eons they drifted through the endless space that spanned every direction. A small hole appeared in the unstable fabric of the wormhole, a single sun drifted around a much smaller planet, its surface resembling that of the planet Novalis.

Dr Nefarious felt his body begin to revert to it's original state as the duo fell into the gravitational pull of the planet far below. The speed they traveled would burn up any organic in several seconds, but the good doctors hard carbonox armor would protect him from the overwhelming heat.

Meanwhile on the surface of Planet Equis,

"Twilight? Don't you think we should just pack up now... I doubt some alien craft is gonna crash land near Ponyville..."

"But Spike, many scholars have records of strange lights and ponyless carriages, They can't all be wrong!"

Spike simply shook his head, one minute his mentor was going on about Pinkie's kooky powers being unscientific, the next searching for aliens through a single small telescope.

"Ooh a shooting star! Quick Spike, hand me my notebook!"

"Here, Twilight!"

Twilight Sparkle began to mumble softly to herself, "Alright so we have a trajectory speed of four hundred kilometers, at a distance of eight thousand feet and dropping fast... Headed in a straight line for... Spike, run! It's headed our way!"

Spike didn't have to be told twice, swiftly he grabbed all the tools scattered on the ground and made a mad dash to the thick trees surrounding the grassy field.

"Come on, Twilight!"

"Just a sec..." Twilight wrote down a simple message and galloped toward the safety of the trees. Mere moments later came the harsh sounds of screaming as a strange mechanic being slammed headfirst into the earth. A large crater appeared where the object had struck. This was followed by another metallic creature that crashed into the first in a pile of mechanical limbs.

Twilight stepped forward slightly, a small claw grabbed her by the foreleg. She turned around to see her assistant shaking his head profusely and mouthed the words, Don't be stupid! Twilight shrugged and gave Spike a reassuring smile. Slowly she trotted out from the trees and held up a simple message written on her notebook.

Dr Nefarious rose from the crater and stared in disbelief at the strange four-legged squishy that followed his every move. A small sign in her hooves read, Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle! Welcome to the wide world of Equis!

"WHAT?! A SQUISHY TRYING TO MAKE GOOD WITH ME?! I AM DR NEFARIOUS YOU PEA-BRAINED HOOFED SQUISHY! I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU! Lawrence!"

"Yes sir?"

"Kill it!"

"We sort of lost our weapons when Agent Ratchet defeated us..."

"WHAT?! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?"

"Pay, sir?"

"SHUT UP!"

Twilight shrunk back at the alien that somehow knew Equestrian and wanted to annihilate her. She never thought she would meet an alien... Let alone a robot who wanted to destroy her.

"Hi, please don't hurt me... I come in peace, see?" Twilight held her hoof out in a gesture of trust.

The doctor stared for a long time at the hoof extended towards him in peace. He groaned loudly and took it in a rough hoofshake. While he was borderline powerless he decided that an alliance would aid him for awhile.

"Twilight... I am the great Dr Nefarious, evil mastermind and hated villain of the Solana Galaxy. Soon your species will bask in my robotic glory!"

"A umm pleasure to meet you...Doctor. Spike come out and say hello to this... Err alien?"

"Robot!"

"Right, robot..."

A small pinkish-purple reptile watched in quiet fear at these strange metal creatures, He gulped loudly and grasped the strange metallic claw in a friendly clawshake. The Doctors bright red eyes doing nothing to alleviate the small dragons fear. Lawrence stood behind him, silently plucking his guitar and paying little attention to the hoofed aliens.

"Take me to your leader at once! I wish to discuss the matter of space transport!"

"Umm we don't have spacecraft yet..."

"WHAAAA- *bzzt* Janice you're a he?"

"Sorry to disappoint but, I am actually Jamie!"

"Your brother? Wait you don't have a brother... Well that explains the bathroom breaks..." *Clunk* "-AAAAATTTTT?!"

Twilight gave a long confused stare at the robot in front of her. She turned to the one named Lawrence and asked, "Does he always do that?"

"Yes, ever since he was defeated by his arch nemesis he has had this strange glitch, luckily a smack to the head clears it right up. To be honest it's pretty much the one joy I get out of life... Right sir?"

"Lawrence, I'm warning you!"

"Right... Shall we go with this lavender colored squishy?"

"Fine, but only if I get to ride it into town!"

"No! I am not just some steed!" Twilight lifted the robot off the ground and carried him in a large field of magic. "Stay in there till you behave!"

"You dare imprison Dr Nefarious!? I will annihilate you!"

Back in the Solana Galaxy our grand heroes Ratchet and Clank were taking a much needed holiday on the water planet Aquatos. Clank was folded up into a box-like shape, his light robotic snores the only sound in the small room. Out in the deep water Ratchet was enjoying a swim with his new *friend* Hydro Girl. Luckily his O2 mask can last almost indefinitely, recycling that stale air and replacing it with a mixture of pine fresh air. Ratchet fumbled with his words as he chatted with the blue alien swimming beside him.

"So about that umm date you were talking about? Well I-"

""

"You lost Nefarious? He was on a floating rock, where could he go? Damn it Qwark... You interrupted my holiday!"

""

*Sigh* "I'll be at the Phoenix in a few hours!"

"What's up Ratchet?" Asked Hydro Girl, her blue eyes fixed on the floating lombax.

"Sorry Hydro, but Dr Nefarious has somehow vanished... I gotta go check all the commotion."

"Oh... Well feel free to visit my apartment anytime you want... It's been fun!" She gave Ratchet a sly wink and drifted into the warm currents surrounding her living quarters.

With a reddish tinge to his cheeks, Ratchet swam back to the air-lock and unlocked the hatch leading to the apartment. The air-lock slid open, revealing the inactive form of his buddy Clank.

"Clank? Clank! Wake up!"

"Hmm energy equals mass squared?"

"We got a... umm emergency on our hands!"

"An emergency? What has Qwark done this time Ratchet?"

"Oh you know, just losing our old pal Nefarious...."

"Oh dear..."

"Yeh, tell me about it."

Within an hour they had packed all the necessary equipment and boarded their trusty spacecraft, colored in the Lombax print paint job. The ship reverted to space flight as it breached the oceans surface, its trajectory now locked to one of the galaxies most advanced war fighters, The Starship Phoenix.

A few hours later they had reached the Starship and entered the Q-force meeting being held on the bridge.

"Reports say that a large rock carrying Doctor Nefarious has vanished without a trace, many think he may have teleported away or been picked up as a hitchhiker by a box-like ship. I, Captain Qwark believe he may have escaped into another galaxy through the use of an illegally acquired Rift Inducer!"

"Umm yeh, kinda think that would, you know destroy him..."

"Ratchet, you must head out to the Maney Way Galaxy, where sources tell me he may have escaped to. Here are the co-ordinates to Planet Equis within the Horsehead Nebula."

"But... Wait I'm going with just Clank again? Aren't you meant to be a great hero?"

"Well I... Am joining you on this perilous mission!"

"Say what?"

"Together we will, you know place the doctor in custody and prove once again that I... Err I mean we... Are the heroes that everyone loves! But not the ones they need right now."

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing..."

So without further delay the three heroes squeezed into the now tightly packed ship and started up the powerful, gravimetric warp drive. Clank gave Ratchet the all clear as the ship began to power-up. With a loud sonic boom the ship launched into warp speed, sending it through space in all of 3.6 seconds. Far below them was a lush planet that reminded Ratchet of several planets he visited over his four major adventures.

"Well we're here... Qwark do you have any clue where to land?"

"Errr...."

"Perfect!" Ratchet face-palmed in sheer annoyance and requested the computer to find a landing destination. The gravitational pull began to steer the ship off course.

"What the? The gravities to strong, how do we break through it Clank?"

"It would appear we have lost all control of the ship... I suggest we brace for impact."

"Talk about deja vu..."

An explosion filled the night air above Canterlot, a large flaming object fell toward the center of the garden within. From inside his statue Discord began to scream, here he was trapped in stone awaiting the inevitable explosion from the debris.

(Oh Goody, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and now crushed by a molten rock!)

The object veered to the right, narrowly avoiding Discord and crashing nose first into the castle wall.

(Hah! Celestia's gonna love fixing that...)

Alarms began to ring as a hundred guards poured into the castle grounds, they glared at the motionless form of Discord and breathed a sigh of relief that it was not his doing. From above the majestic form of Princess Luna appeared as a large silhouette as she descended to the hard earth.

"What hath struck our castle so? My sister stirs restlessly at the sounds of crunching metal."

"This strange object your highness, it fell from the sky and struck the outer wall!"

The princess of the night stepped forward and surveyed the crumpled object. With a loud whoosh the cockpit swung open, three strange figures fell out and rolled several feet to rest beneath Luna's hooves.

"What in Tartarus are thou strange creatures from beyond the heavens? I see thee carry a metallic golem, do thou come in peace?"

"Urgh... Huh, what the?" Ratchet fell backwards and stared at the strange four-legged alien with wings and horn. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, the strange sight keeping his words silent.

"Are thou some sort of feline creature?"

"Errr ummm, I'm a lombax, from the Planet Veldin of the Solana Galaxy. The golem you refer to is my good friend Clank... His a robot. And the big fat guy is Captain Qwark."

"What is this country thou speakest of? We have never heard of such a place!"

"An earthbound species? Just perfect... Clank, buddy... I could use your assistance!"

The small robot awoke in a slight daze, his eyes focused on Ratchet,

"Ratchet, who are you talk- Oh, them.... It would appear they are a type of equine creature, though unlike any we have encountered in Solana. The large blue one appears to be some sort of royal hierarchy."

"We art the Princess of the Night!" The princess rose graciously and revealed her power over the moon.

"Amazing, it would appear that they can manipulate the moon with some sort of remote technology."

"It is the magic of Equestria!"

"Uh-huh..." Ratchet rolled his eyes at the mention of magic and proceeded to awaken the unmoving form of Captain Qwark.

"What? Where am I? Ratchet, are we dead?"

"No we are not dead you moron! We are stranded on a planet full of..."

"We are ponies, strange creature!"

Ratchet stifled a laugh as he heard the name spoken aloud.  "P-ponies, and they are kinda primitive."

"Primitive? Thou dare insult a princess?"

"Oh right your royalty, oops!"

"Guards! I want these misfits imprisoned for destroying royal grounds! They will stay there until my sister has judged them for herself."

"Hey! Wait a minute you can't just arrest-"

A pair of metallic handcuffs were placed over his hands, locking into place around his wrists.

"You did..."

The three heroes were pulled to their feet and escorted to the dank, wet dungeon far below. The doors were bolted shut with a loud clang of metal. Clank sat himself on the bed and gave Ratchet a grin, "Luckily I brought the Bouncer with us this time. You can thank me later."

"Well thanks Clank, I Captain Qwark will free us from imprisonment!"

"Give me that!" Ratchet yanked the deadly weapon from the Captains bumbling hands and directed it towards the right wall.

"Well, here goes nothing!"