Ratchet and Clank: Nefarious Equine

Nefarious stood before a dragon, its wet breath misting the visor protecting his delicate brain circuits. Its golden eyes glared down at the insignificant machine before it. The doctor began to charge his newly created Biobliterator Gun, a bright orange light began to glow within the weapons barrel. He began to laugh maniacally as the beam of energy engulfed the dragon in its searing warmth. The dragon began to thrash violently and tried to release a torrent of fire. Slowly its snout began to solidify and form into a metallic shell. Within minutes the beast was completely robotic, bright red pinpricks of light replaced its amber eyes.

"Mwahaha! These foolish squishies will be unprepared for my Mechano-drake!"

"Affirmative master, I will engulf them in plasma and leave Ponyville in smoldering remains!"

"Fly my metallic creation, we make haste to their puny settlement!"

A shadow fell over Ponyville, everyone stared up to the clear sky and wondered what calamity would befall them this time. Rarity was knee deep in a new dress, the natural light giving life to the silken material. She sighed loudly as the sun was blotted out.

"I thought Rainbow Dash forecast a lovely sunny day, I guess she forgot yet again..."

She trotted over to the window and stared at a strangely draconic shadow flying high above the land.

"Oh I don't think we were scheduled a dragon attack today... This is the worst thing ever... My dressmaking is ruined!"

The shadow grew bigger as the dragon descended towards the earth. A thunderous roar echoed through the countryside as the metallic beast spread a wing to relinquish its master from his perch. Nefarious dropped to the earth and turned to his robotic dragon,

"Go on! Have some fun, lighten the place up! Mwahaha!"

"With pleasure!"

A large crowd of ponies formed around the new stranger, their curiosity taking over logic. The mayor stepped forward and demanded a name from the metal stranger.

"Who or what are you?"

"I am the great Dr Nefarious! Bow before me squishies, soon you will no longer be pathetic flesh bags!"

"Another villain? But the new season hasn't even started!"

"What?! I am not just ANOTHER villain! I am the GREATEST villain this galaxy has ever known!"

"Uh-huh..."

"Pah! I will show you.... MECHANO-DRAKE! BURN DOWN THEIR TINY SQUISHIE HOUSES!"

A massive ball of fire flew across the sky, its blazing trail heading straight for Carousel Boutique. It struck the building with shattering force, igniting the light flammable clothes inside. A loud scream broke out from within causing everypony to stare in fear. From the burning building ran Rarity, trailing a pile of dresses with small hooves underneath. Her face was whiter then usual, sweat pasted on her forehead. She watched in horror as her livelihood crackled and burned before her, in mere seconds the inferno had claimed its victim. Rarity whirled around to face Nefarious, her fury unimaginable,

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" A burst of magic flew from her horn as she tried to throw him away. A shield protected him causing the spell to simply reflect into the empty air.

"Mwahaha! See how pathetic your squishie powers are? Robots are the glorious future!"

"Nefarious... How was your trip in space? Must have been so fun losing to a Lombax." Ratchet stepped forward and aimed his Plasma Coil directly at the robots head.

"No, not you again! Why must you be so annoying?! Grrr never mind, I have more important things to attend to. Enjoy my little pet!"

Dr nefarious teleported into thin air, leaving Ratchet with the bitter taste of his escape. The robotic dragon roared in fury as two massive cannons began to extend from its back.

"Oooh a boss battle, Time to extinguish his flame!"

*Insert epic boss theme here*

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Ratchet pulled out numerous weapons as rockets began to paint the streets of Ponyville. He lay several turrets upon the ground and fired a powerful shot from his fully charged Shock Cannon. The damage to his foe was barely noticeable as it breathed a huge cone of fire towards the lombax. Quickly he strafed to the left and began to pepper the dragon with his Dual Vipers. Everypony was crowded around the apparent arena the two now fought on, their eyes locked on the epic battle occurring before them.

"Alright Dragon-bot... Lets see how you fare against THIS!"

From his inventory came a large gun with a long tube, as he pulled the trigger a large rocket flew from the barrel and struck the dragon full in the face. The heavy impact caused pieces of its metal amour to fly off into the air, embedding themselves in the soft soil. Roaring loudly, the dragon flew up in the air and attempted to slam the ground where Ratchet stood. The earth shattered beside him as he once more jumped away and shot several more rockets into its unprotected mouth. The dragon roared in primal fury and entered his second battle mode, his wings extended outward as two large rockets fired from beneath. Each one struck the ground and released a large shock-wave towards the strafing lombax. He dodged them with ease and dropped a mini-nuke onto the beasts back. A small explosive cloud followed the initial blast, sending the metallic skull hurtling into the square.

The dragon fell to the ground defeated, a huge surge of power enveloped the lombax, shattering several windows and posts. Rarity ran forward and kissed him on the cheek, her face filled with awe.

"Woah, woah, woah! It was really nothing ma'am *Ahem* I do stuff like this all the time!"

"Well it seems your quite the hero ummm...?"

"Call me Ratchet, oh by the way this is Clank."

"Hello!"

"Oh how dapper! That suit looks fabulous!"

"Yes, in my home galaxy I am quite the celebrity."

"Is that so?" Rarity stared at the little silver robot and got a sudden flash of inspiration "Idea! Sweetie Belle? Did you save my scrapbook."

A muffled groan was heard through the clothes pile as the young filly searched for her sisters fabled scrapbook of designs. A tattered book landed at Rarity's fore-hoofs,

"Found it 'sis!"

"Oh thank heavens!"

Behind Ratchet was a large chariot, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were the noble mares pulling it for both the newcomer and the other ponies. Twilight ran forward and grabbed the unaware fashionista by the neck, dragging her towards the chariot. The citizens dispersed from the square, returning to their boring lives as the Elements headed towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Today was quite the apple harvest over at the orchard, Applejack had just finished in the southern field and had gone to take a nap. Her signature stetson covered her face as light snores arose from her sleeping form. A loud thump against the solid earth stirred the orange pony awake, she stared at the large chariot and saw her friends ready and waiting.

"Well howdy there Twilight, whats with the big ol' group gatherin'?"

"Oh you know, just an escaped god of chaos and an evil robot mastermind from beyond the stars."

"Isn't ol' discord, ya know reformed?"

"Well umm he is but I err gave him to much creative freedom.. I'm the worst god-sitter..."

"This is Discord we're talkin' bout Fluttershy... Not the most trustworthy guy in any world."

Applejack's eyes widened at the strange striped bat creature casually lounging in the chariot, the tiny metal golem beside him raising her eyebrows even higher.

"Who in tarnation is this here wingless bat?"

Ratchet looked somewhat offended, was he really that ugly to be confused with a bat? He shook his head and offered a gloved hand to the orange pony,

"Hi I'm Ratchet, pleased to meet you! Oh and I'm not a bat... I'm a Lombax and I come from another world."

"Well I'll be a donkeys uncle... Never thought I'd meet a gosh darn space alien. By the way my names Applejack. So what brings you round these parts?"

"Just an evil robot hell bent on turning the galaxy into his own personal mechanical empire."

"Sounds 'bout right... Can't ever let ya hair down, cause when ya do? Some other bad guy shows up ta ruin ya day..." Applejack tipped her stetson back and stared back at Twilight. "Take it ya need ma help sugarcube? Being element of honesty an all."

"Yes, I could really use the help."

Slowly the orange pony hopped up into the carriage and sat down next to Ratchet, who simply stared off into the distance as they lifted off the ground.

"Oh hi AJ! Guess what I'm a pink sheep now!"

"That's nice Pin- Wait, what?"

Once again Applejack raised an eyebrow as her eyes settled upon the Pinkie-sheep, then again she wasn't to surprised with her random, reality bending friend.

Lawrence had been enjoying his moment in the spotlight as large packs of Diamond Dogs dug for precious Raritanium, each one following his every command,

"No wonder he enjoys being a villain, pity my minions are all squishy... DIG DOGS, DIG!"

"Rover, why do we hav ta grind da gems? Lets make HIM do it!"

"Request denied, we follow the masters command for the glory of the robo-rover empire!"

"What? We all get metal stuff?"

"Affirmative!"

"Oooh skin so shiny... Dig faster, me want metal skin!"

Nefarious teleported into the cave in an electric blue cloud, causing several Diamond Dogs to scatter in shock. The Doctor felt all their beady eyes fall upon him as they saw their true master.

"Lawrence, how are our little minions coming along?"

"Back already? Well it was fun while it lasted... We have enough Raritanium to increase the power of the Biobliterator gun across several hectares."

"Yes! You dumb mutts have done well... Seems it is time for these squishies to have a metallic makeover, Mwahahaha!"

Nefarious began to charge the gun to its full potential, releasing its powerful energy in a surge of blue light. As the bright light faded the new and improved Diamond Dogs stared in wonder at their new forms. Salutes greeted the Doctor once the changes had taken full effect, their new master earning the trust of the packs.

"We take new name! We become the Chrome Hounds!" Murmurs of agreement drifted through the crowd, Rover bowed before his former underlings and howled in metallic fury.

"Alright, my mechanical minions your new task awaits you. I want the head of both Twilight Sparkle and a furry squishy thing called Ratchet! These pathetic hoofed squishies will bow to me!"

"And what do we do with other elements?"

"ANNIHILATE THEM! That is all. Now run along my dumb slaves, kill the weak little pony things!"

"Death to Ponies! Rend them, squish them, annihilate them." The large army began to dig through the earth, half headed towards Ponyville, the others to the walls of Canterlot.

Two large footfalls echoed through the now empty tunnels as holograms of the princesses wandered into the chamber Nefarious resided. The Doctor was once again yelling at Lawrence for sarcasm, when he was startled by the loud voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Hey if it ain't old Neffy, how's life been treating ya?" The heavily masculine voice sounded strange and out of place coming from the lithe form of a female equine.

"Who the hell are you? Squishies do not give me nicknames and live to talk about it!"

"Oh right, the ponified Holo-guise..." A small whoosh sounded as the holograms faded away, revealing two very tall robots that were twice the build of Nefarious.

The large green one chewed the end of a cigar as he stared down at the skinny robot before him. "Still a nerdy lil girly man I see, At least now ya not a stinky squishie!"

Nefarious stared up at the massive robot in disbelief, "Shellshock? I thought Ratchet gave you a new coat of bullets after your failed the Dreadzone battle? And how did you make it to this stupid squishy planet?"

"Reactor can say all da techno bull-"

"Shell, don't strain your processor man, that last batch of coffee was disgusting after that stuff with your accountant."

"He used numbas on me, so I blew his super CPU to tiny little shardy things!"

Reactor drew a large glowing object from his chest and lay it upon the stone. Nefarious stared at it with vivid interest and stepped forward to pick it up.

"Think of it as a joining fee, Shellshock and I wish to join your forces to destroy that damn lombax that stole my title and ruined my relationship with Courtney Gears! Oh and to squish his *wee little furry brain* as Shellshock puts it."

"A Taboran Crystal is just what I need, consider yourselves a part of my army! But I will annihilate you if you call me Neffy again!"

"Heh, seems little nerdy girl doesn't like da old name we gave her!"

Shellshock began to laugh until he saw the large gun pointed at his chest, he glared at the Doctor and began to insult him.

"If I can turn squishy to robot, I can reverse it! What will it be, insults or annihilation?"

The large green robot stepped back and apologized to the mad doctor, who now gloated over beating one of his former tormentors.

"Now that we've been re-united you will use your Pony-guise to change the rule over to me, and destroy any squishy who tries to fight."

"What if the princesses come back? We sort of just took their place..."

"What my minions always do, ANNIHILATE!"

Over at the Crystal Kingdom the two princesses had begun preparations for the trip back to Canterlot. Princess Luna could not wait to return and watch the new season of Game of Roans. The boring nightlife had made her holiday feel like a year, even the dreams she wandered through were boring. She wanted nothing more to sit at home and eat a bowl of popcorn while watching her favorite shows. Celestia on the other hand had enjoyed the northern hospitality and regretted having to leave to attend the droll Gala they held every year.

"So sister how do thou think the kingdom is?"

"Knowing those six? Probably some new disaster... As long as Sparkle stays level-headed it should be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Thou have done it once again!"

"What do you mean?"

"Jinx it by uttering those accursed words!"

"Oh right... It's fine!"

"Why?! Is fate my cruel tormentor? We must return immediately!"

"Relax, I'm sure whatever it is will blow over!"

"CEEELLLEEESSSTTTIIIAA!"

The whole kingdom was awoken by the loud shout that continued to echo around the mountains. Everypony began to run for cover, remembering the last time the sisters fought. A whole kingdom fell beneath the waves when Celestia had stolen her sisters hair brush. Never again did anypony mess with a sisters belongings. Even Cadence could do nothing to quench that fury. Luckily this time was a false alarm, making several thousand ponies sigh in collective relief.

"We have a bad feeling..."

"I gotta feeli-"  Celestia stopped her song as Luna's eyes bored deeply into her soul, she smiled sheepishly and trotted out of the palace to search for their aerial chauffeurs.

Luna sighed deeply as her sister left the room, her excitement building at the thought of action and battle once more. She stared up at the moon and pondered on what disaster Twilight and her friends were a part of this time.