Ratchet and Clank: Nefarious Equine

"Hey Twilight? You got any ink I can borrow?" Asked the bright pink pony hopping constantly as if her life depended on it.

"Affirmative, I have that item. Please stand by while I retrieve requested object. Spike, my assistant shall bring them to you shortly. Please come in and enjoy a refreshment or light snack. Respond kindly, how are you Pinkie Pie?"

"Twilight, have you gone loopy again? How many times must we say it... You are not tardy!"

"Yes, I feel out of sorts... How would I act normally in conversation?"

Pinkie gave Twilight a once over and wondered why her hair was sharp as a knife, she continued to stare incredulously at the unicorn who seemed to have replaced her friend. Her pink body shivered violently warning her that something big was going on. That's when they began to notice the fearful shouts throughout the town. A blue streak glided through an open window and began shouting about strange creatures and tiny golems.

"Twilight, we have a situation on our hands! A group of strange guys has wandered into town with Fluttershy in tow.... I think they're keeping her hostage!"

"Does one of them resemble a striped rodent?"

"Yeh, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"I want them annihilated!"

"Errr isn't that a tad extreme?"

"Just follow my orders Rainbow Dash, we have bad guys to defeat!"

"Aww yeh!"

Outside Fluttershy tried to hide her face, she felt embarrassed by the way Ponyville handled strangers who weren't ponies. Everywhere she went doors were locked shut, windows covered and children pulled inside away from the newcomers.

"Umm everypony? Don't be afraid... Their really friendly and are just here looking for someone!" Fluttershy tried to carry her voice but her silent words simply went unheard. Feeling defeated, she proceeded to escort the trio to Twilight's house. She hoped that the lavender unicorn could persuade the others to give the strangers a chance.

The door of the library was thrown open, Twilight was standing in the doorway with a scowl on her face. From behind her came a blue streak that charged headfirst towards Ratchet.

"Rainbow Dash! Stop!"

Ratchet saw the blurred outline of a pegasus heading directly for them, he contemplated on which weapon he should use and settled on his Plasma Whip. Quickly he pulled it out and crouched low to the ground, as the distance closed between them he threw it forward. Rainbow Dash saw it far to late as she felt a searing slap against her face, the whip sent her flying back several feet. She attempted to get up but was thwarted by the foot of the large one in green.

Ratchet stepped forward and offered his hand to the dazed pegasus. Rainbow Dash glared at the lombax but took his outstretched hand anyway, she opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Twilight.

"Stand back pegasus, they are mine!" Her horn began to glow with a large ball of pinkish electricity that was launched directly towards the lombax.

Hey wait! I'm on your side! Ratchet dropped a single Holo-shield and ducked behind it as the ball of energy struck it directly. The shield guarded from the attack but disintegrated upon impact. He pulled out his Tesla Claw and shocked Twilight's body, sending her into violent convulsions. A single spark shot from her head and revealed what Ratchet had suspected. The unicorn before him was a robotic impostor.

"Hey why'd you do that to Twilight!?" Shouted Spike as he ran forward to help his mentor up.

"She is a robot!"

Spike snorted and stared at the unconscious unicorn lying on the ground, "I think I would've noticed that by now!" Twilight began to stir, she grabbed Spike and whispered into his ear.

"His a fugitive, the princesses are searching for them right now! Run inside and send a letter, I'll handle them!"

"Ok Twilight, be careful!"

The fake Twilight stood up and turned to face Ratchet, "Nice try but Nefarious gave me a few upgrades to test out!"

Rainbow Dash stared at Twilight, who was this Nefarious she mentioned and why is she so aggressive? Surely that furry thing can't be right...

"I defeated your master and his army of Tyhrranoids, I'm sure I can deal with you!"

"STOP THIS AT ONCE! LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO USE EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF MAGIC!" The sun burst through the clouds, a pure white figure stood in a beam of light. Her armor was golden with a purple gem, it appeared to Ratchet that this was royalty.

"Wah!" Captain Qwark began to run away but was thwarted by a large field of energy, sending him back ten feet onto his stomach. "Ratchet help! I'm to handsome to be in prison!"

"Oh be quiet Qwark, have some dignity, man! Oh right... You sort of lack in that department!"

"ENOUGH! LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS IMMEDIATELY, RESISTANCE IS NOT A WISE CHOICE!"

"Damn it, imprisoned twice in two days.... Do I look like that much of a criminal?"

Celestia landed before the three prisoners and gave them a fierce growl, her face was etched with coffee withdrawal. Her right eye constantly twitched as she demanded the truth from those beneath her hooves,

"WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE HERE?" Said the princess, her Royal Canterlot voice shattering several windows as she continued to scream

"Woah, calm down your majesty! We are looking for an evil mastermind that somehow ended up on this world and our ship crash-landed due to the immense gravity emanating from this planet."

"LIES!"

"Luna, quiet! You didn't even question them earlier! I may be very short today but I still must uphold a code of ethics. "

"One thing, the unicorn Twilight? She is a fake!"

"MY APPRENTICE IS NOT A FAKE, I WOULD SEE IT WITH MY OWN EYES IF IT WERE TRUE... MY MAGIC WOU-"

"Well this isn't magic, its technology... Probably undetectable by your powers!"

"LUNA TAKE THEM AWAY!"

"WAIT!!!" All eyes turned to the young pegasus who had shouted. Fluttershy blushed a vivid crimson as she felt everypony around stare directly at her.

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"Umm p-please don't put them in jail, they aren't here to cause trouble I swear. I wanted to introduce them but nopony would listen... Twilight's the one who attacked first!"

"Is this true, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Of course not, Fluttershy is lying her little head off!"

"Excuse me?"

"Fluttershy is a filthy liar!"

Celestia narrowed her eyes at her apprentice and asked a simple question, "This sentence is false."

"What?" The fake Twilight slowly became nervous as she contemplated the question.

"This sentence is false!"

"Error! Umm *cough* I'm perfectly.. F..i..n..e, just a bit of a cough. *bzzt* Paradox Detected, begin emergency shutdown sequence! Nooooo! Oh sh-!" Shrapnel flew everywhere as the fake Twilight exploded in a large ball of fire.

Celestia stood with mouth agape, once again she had failed to detect a fake. A sheepish smile rose to her lips as she turned to face the prisoners.

"Umm I think I owe you an apology..."

"WHAT ARE THOU DOING!? THEY DESTROYED ROYAL PROPERTY AND DISRESPECTED THEIR SUPERIOR!"

"Oh put a cap on it Luna, this was obviously a misunderstanding. Now release the prisoners so that we may discuss what their purpose is."

"Fine...!"

"Good girl."

Deep within the underground caverns below Equestria, the Diamond Dogs had begun to mine a rare yellow metal that had never been seen amongst the packs. Each rare node found seemed to contain some magical properties. The dogs began to barter and trade the metal, searching for the biggest pieces they could find. Today the ring-leader of their operation Rover was inspecting the wide fields where they had found the annoying unicorn Rarity. Hoping that another gem finder might stumble upon their territory. His eyes went wide at the tall blue humanoid that wandered into view, behind him was another humanoid, this one silver with a sort of suit attached to the metal skin.

"LAWRENCE?! WHERE IS THE RARITANIUM YOU KEEP MENTIONING?"

"Beneath us sir, where most precious metals are known to congregate..."

"Quiet! I hear something over there! You, in the bushes! Come to me and I'll be less inclined to annihilate you!"

Nervously the lone Diamond Dog stepped forward, his eyes locked on the metallic form. The Doctor stood higher then any dog he knew and had a large gun pointed directly at his face.

"Where is the raritanium?"

"Raritanum? What is that? Is it a shiny?" A gravely voice asked, his horrible language skills sending spittle flying onto Nefarious metallic skin.

"Hey watch it! I just got this buffed to perfection! I hate squishies and their foul liquids! It is a yellow metal you dumb mutt, have you seen any?"

"You pay Rover in gems yes?"

"What?! Do I look like I've got gems?! Give me the raritanium now, before I use my new weapon against you!"

The diamond dog simply gave the doctor a blank stare, reminding Nefarious of the Tyhrranoids that he had hired a few years ago. He began to scream in frustration at the dumb squishy before him and blasted him with the gun held at his temple. The large dog fell to the ground and watched as his flesh turned to metal. He began to cry in fear at the experience but quickly became cold and logical as his mind became that of a machine..

"Reporting for duty, sir! The metal you seek is contained within these caves... My kind will much appreciate this transformation, the rest are simply moronic squishies that I could care less about!"

"Mwahahaha! I think I have found my new army Lawrence! Soon I will obliterate Ratchet and the entire galaxy! You, what is your kind?"

"We are Diamond Dogs, master! Our mission is to serve you!"

"Lawrence! Follow him and make sure he obeys, I must find one of these large reptilian beasts. Perfect for aerial units!"

"At once, sir!"

Ratchet explained all the details of his adventures, from thief's and corrupt chairmen to an infection of protopets and a robotic madman. Rainbow Dash was impressed that he had survived the harsh challenges of Dreadzone and became the fan favorite around the galaxy.

When both princesses were satisfied they began to explain everything about Equestria and the evil villains who had tried to take over. Fluttershy sat between the two parties explaining that she wielded a magic know as the Elements of Harmony, and that her's was kindness.

"So know that we know what you are... Why have you come here?"

Ratchet pulled out a small box that revealed a hologram of Nefarious standing before a large machine.

"This is Dr Nefarious and he has fled to this planet, we need to find him asap before he can plan another world domination. Do you know of anyone matching his description?"

The newly freed Twilight gave him a look that said, well duh! And proceeded to explain the plans he had in mind.

"He wants to turn Equestria into machines? I must insist Ratchet, that these four accompany your group. Another two ponies shall join you shortly... We must stop Nefarious and his ev-"

*Crack! Boom!*

Outside in the castle gardens was a gray pegasus with a cutie mark of bubbles on her flank. Within her mouth was a large flail that swung back and forth as she flew awkwardly around the grounds. Her eyes pointed in different directions, revealing a strange statue shaped like Discord. She tried to say something to the trapped figure but the weapon slid from her grasp and struck the ground with a heavy thud and a slight tremor.

(What is this pegasus doing? She's going to squash me with that thing!)

The cross-eyed pegasus giggled at the large crack in the earth, she lifted the flail back up and began to spin. The sheer momentum caused by the weapon sent her flying like a helicopter. The force of the spin sent her back towards the statue, which now began to scream as a large metallic ball hurtled through the air and smashed into the platform he stood upon. The fall was only short but the stone encasing him shattered into a million pieces. Discord laughed at his new predicament,

"First Fluttershy buddies up with me and now little miss Derpy let's me run free...again. Thank you, Derpy! Your chaotic nature is something to be proud of."

Derpy gave Discord a broad smile and tried to hug the unprepared draconequus.

"Thank you, Mister... Can I have one of those chocolate milk candy clouds?"

Discord stared into the pegasus eyes and groaned at the adorable ponies question. He snapped his fingers and a small pink cloud appeared and began to rain chocolate milk upon Derpy. He laughed as the gray pegasus wallowed in the large puddle that had formed around her. With a single awww, Discord teleported to where he felt the presence of another chaotic form beginning to emerge.

"Looks like I've got company! Time for some fun! Haha!"

Celestia turned from the window and shook her head,

"Discord has escaped again girls... Try to keep him from, I don't know... Joining forces or something. Perhaps when I imprison chaotic demigods in stone I should stop putting them on display in the garden."

Twilight stared at the princess dumbfounded, she only now realized how dumb it was to place Discord in plain sight.

"Gee, do ya think princess? If you two stopped doing silly easily avoided things Equestria would actually have a moment's peace... Looks like I gotta go get AJ and Rarity and fight not one but TWO villains... I hope your good Lombax!"

"I do this stuff all the time! Now if you'll excuse me I need to take my Scorpion Flail off that poor ponies umm hoofs."

"Oh so it's your fault?! The nerve of you aliens..."

"Come on Twilight, lighten up! We got a planet to save!"

"Uggghhh! I can't wait till you go home!"

"Hey you! Orange furry guy?" Pinkie Pie burst through the door and ran up to Ratchet, a devilish smile dancing on her lips. "Can you sheep me? I wanna be a sheep, please?"

Ratchet raised an eyebrow at the request but thought, eh what the heck. He pulled out his Sheepinator and blasted Pinkie with a wide beam of energy. In mere seconds a bright pink sheep was standing in the ponies place. Her face lit up as she saw her fluffy fleece and funny shaped head.

"Oooh, Look I'm sheeple! Ok, lets get going guys!"

Celestia watched in quiet contemplation as the small group left her chambers.

"Do you think they suspect anything Shelly?" Said a masculine robotic voice, in Celestia's place stood a massive robot with a live nuclear device within his body.

"Dese ponies be stupid, we will crush dem all! Dey remind me of wee little sissy girls!" Replied another manly voice, this one a massive green behemoth with a cigar hanging from his mouth.

"So, should we join the good Doctor?"

"Nar, let me kill some ponies!"

"That's not really a plan..."

"Aww you spoil my fun Reactor! Fine, we squish dem and join with Ne...Nef...Nefer.. grr the Doctor! Ratchet will be crushed like a girly man!"