Thoughts of Mercy

Thoughts of Mercy

I've Decided I Don't Like Funerals

The funeral. Something I didn't enjoy. I've decided I don't like funerals. Some ponies, including me, told stories about Glittershy, and how they'll miss her, blah blah. I was thinking about how hypocritical they were. They were the ones who drove her to death. I talked about the same thing, but I was the only one who even deserved to talk at all.

"Glittershy, as you all know, was my older sister," I said, starting my not-very-well prepared speech. Because it was my turn to speak, everypony's attention was on me. It was daunting to be the focus of everyone's attention. "Before," I didn't add ponies bullied her, "she was more than a big sister to me. She was a mentor, a teacher, and a friend. She helped me when I needed it, when others wouldn't offer any assistance. She even offered to help when I didn't need it. She was always there for me, so I tried to be there for her too." I can't believe I even said that. It made me seem like I wasn't good enough for her when she was depressed. "Even though Glittershy may be gone here in Equestria, she will stay in my heart forever. If I could say one more word to her, I would say 'Godspeed.'" I'm not sure ponies were touched by my speaking, but I hope.

After the service, everyone (well, at least some ponies) put flowers on Glittershy's grave. I put three tiger lilies. I think my reason for three tiger lilies is that T. Lily was her doctor, which doens't really have to do with anything, and three represented Glittershy, my mother, and I. Now, because of recent events, it was just me and my mom.

~~~***~~~

A few weeks later, things had sort of settled at home and school. It seemed like I was the only one who even at least slightly missed Glittershy. Ponies never talked about her, not even my mom. I, like my sister, was invisible. No pony ever talked to me, except Rainbow Dash. I was used to this kind of treatment. I'm just not what you would call "popular filly material." I was fine like this, of course, except when during class, teachers never called on me to answer a question. I guess that's why some ponies think I'm stupid or dumb (I never talked about this before, but it's true. There are rumors about it); I never have or get a chance to prove my intellectual ability. It was almost like I was invisible.

And of course the one time I embarrass myself, I get unwanted attention. I become infamous. And this action is over all the times I've done wonderful things - such as help other ponies. What is the world coming too?

This thing that isn't even that bad happened during lunch, one nice day in April, months after Glittershy's departure from the world. I was walking to my seat next to Dashie, lunch tray in hoof, minding my own business. Suddenly, Scarlet Silver (remember her? annoying obnoxious meanie-pants?) appears in front of me. "Oh, hey, Fluttershy." She stresses the accent on the first syllable of my name, making it sound like an insult even though it isn't. "How are you? I heard that your stupid sister couldn't even survive on her own, and she killed herself. Considering how weak you are, you probably taught her how to do it, huh?" The foal around us who heard her laughed.

Scarlet Silver's hurt me, because they were true, sort of. My sister, Glittershy, had killed herself, and I'll admit it myself - I am weak. But I was kind of offended that she would think that I taught my sister how commit suicide. I tried to walk away from the bully, away from my verbal torment, but as I stepped forward, Scarlet Silver put her hoof in front of me, and guess what? I tripped over it. I fell right on my face, which was on a tray full of now smashed food. I had made quite a clatter, and everypony looked at me. Then they all started laughing at the same time; Rainbow Dash even had barely succeded in smothering her giggles. I ran from the lunchroom, tears bursting from my eyes. I ran and ran, almost blinded, to a secluded room, which happened to be the fillys' bathroom. I locked myself in a stall for privacy, and let the tears run down my face.