Two weeks. Two weeks of the same tunnels, turns, and yapping Luna. At least Dicky had shut up. Kinda.

“Dammit! I am going to gouge out the entire entrails of this infernal bug if it doesn’t stop flicking me!”

“Ooh! Ooh! Can I touch the screamy spot? I love the screamy spot!”

Oh, and we also found Chrysalis. Turns out her brood got pissed at her and dumped her within the caves. Talk about sucky family.

So the five of us, I’ll get to the Dick-waffle thing soon, were walking about the same bend for the millionth time. I blame Celestia, I’m gonna bet she made this place just piss us off and keep us lost while she fucks that other guy.

“...and then I was like, ‘But Tia, we need the Sea Ponies’, and she was all like, ‘Naa, they go better with lemon anyway.’ And that’s how we became cannibals.”

Chrysalis seemed to enjoy these tales, but after going insane from being alone and looking up all the time her face was stuck with her eyes looking straight up and a bit to the left while her mouth was in a massive opened mouthed grin. So in short she might really be planning to kill us, but I couldn’t really tell.

The fact of the matter was, I was sick of this place. After all the damn time here and not the single sound nor light of escape was present. It also didn’t help that the font keeps changing while writing this but that’s more of my problem since it will be gone as you read it. That’s another interesting fact, just who are you –

”No! No more, I can’t take another - *Splat*”

“Oh my, better get this cleaned up.”

^\/^\/^\/^

Elsewhere in the universe, a fat guy who was now missing his friend, sat on his couch and watched some TV sport or something. Suddenly the room filled with blinding light, and when it cleared a shrivelled corpse covered in what could only be man and lady fluids landed in this Doritos.

“…Meh.”

After three weeks, he finally stood up to go to the store.

^\/^\/^\/^

Now we have a rather foul smelling Celestia join the team as well. You’d think she just raped some guy into a shrivelled corpse.

Strangely she was not shocked at Chrysalis or the split slinky, know what, fuck explaining that, you can just guess or READ MY BLOGS ONCE IN A WHILE!

“Oh! Then there was this one time, I met the Ligers Queen and we went on an epic adventure and we discovered this place with a giant moving city and a bunch of old guys trying to crack the universe and the Shadow Guard. I’ll tell you more about it someday.”

“Luna, Ligers don’t exist. That was just a dream you had after you drank that Nuka stuff I brought back when I had to go get Fluttershy. That place was fucked up.” Celestia scowled. “Besides, a moving city, how would that even work?!”

“Steam and a lot of cogs actually; well that was what I got told before they tried to kill us with lasers.”

It was at this point I decided to fuck this and jump down the nearest hole. There were shiny things in there. Oh, and some girl wearing blue who ripped a hole in the air that sucked me in. That could have sounded so much worse…

^\/^\/^\/^

“Well Twilight, now you have wings and is a princess, it is time you learnt the royal ways of speaking and walking.” Luna watched the new princess with careful eyes, finding ways of improvement. “Just simply ‘trotting’ is unheard of in princesses. You shall be swift yet slow and pass your gracefulness onto the eyes of undeserving slav - castle workers. “

The new princess in question sat at high attention, quill and paper working to record to the notes passed onto her.

They were in Celestia’s study. And since most of you don’t pay attention to the show or have no imagination, I will describe it to you. It was fancy with pillows and a fireplace. The end.

Luna was not too happy with using her sisters study, but she lacked her own. They couldn’t build her one because they encourage change, and if that happened then Gay marriage would come into question that would spark pointless protests and noble ponies preaching about the end of the world, spooking everyone into building million dollar shelters and bunkers ruining the economy and would prove to be worthless due to the world not really ending. Then they would have ponies placing bombs at marathons because they had no friends. Seriously, ponies can be such strange and weird creatures sometimes.

Twilight soon noticed that Luna hadn’t moved for a little while, obviously deep in thought. “Princess?” No reaction. “PRINCESS?!” Reaction. Luna snapped to attention and fell over backwards, a bolt of magic hitting the ceiling as she did so.

Suddenly a grey slit opened in the roof, briefly showing a place filled with crystals, then dumping a human in the middle of the room.

“Ouch,” it commented slowly getting to its feet.

“Look princess!” stated Twilight, “A human! And a fine looking one too, we could sell him for a good price!”

“So we could,” replied Luna, getting off the floor. “I’ll send him to the market.”

“Huh, what?” Was all the human could say before suddenly finding himself in a cage.

“That’s quite a good one princess. Will 2000 bits be enough?” Asked a brown pony.

“Plenty.” Luna smiled. After the deal was done, she teleported back to the castle. The cage the human was in was soon lifted onto a wagon which started moving off into the sun set.

“You know, I think even this is better than being called ‘Squishy’ the rest of my shirtless life,” the human thought out loud.

A voice beside him, it belonging to a much older slave, soon rang out. “Okay you lot, welcome the new kid, Squishy!”

Then the story ended. Yes, the story ended. This is the end. Go home. Now. You’re ugly and you’re ruining my monitor with your face. What, will there be more? If I ever have the urge, maybe, although it will most likely be random stuff rather than this story line. But I might continue it one day. Maybe.

Author's Note

Well, this story happened. Now it's ended. Yes, Bioshock reference, real life references, and possible future story hints. Now this is over. My first completed and most popular story.

...

Good riddance. Like I said I will add the occasional mini-story or after-math kinda thing but those will be... those. Thank you for reading and good luck with that counseling you will need. After reading this, trust me, you will need it.