Twilight Sparkle: Zombie Slayer

Chapter 1: Just Another Day

The sound of twittering birds greeted Twilight Sparkle’s ears as she awoke one Sunday morning. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and shook off her blankets, going to the window to open it. As she threw open the glass pane, the warm summer air filled her face, and she smiled, humming along with the birds. She closed her eyes, smelling the dew on the leaves and cinnamon rolls from nearby Sugarcube Corner. Twilight sighed and opened her eyes.

Ponyville lay spread out in front of her, a jumble of thatch and tiled roofs on boxes of wood and stone. Smoke rose from a nearby chimney. Other than the birds and the rustling breeze over the leaves of her oak tree home, Twilight couldn’t hear anything. The town was quiet as a ghost town. Just another day in Ponyville.

But then Twilight’s morning euphoria wore off, and she began to realize that something was wrong, very wrong, terribly wrong.

Spike hadn’t yet woken, but he was a sleepy little dragon. A tornado could have rolled right through Ponyville and he probably would sleep right through it. But that wasn’t what bothered Twilight Sparkle.

The smoke was what got her attention first. Why was somebody making a fire in the middle of summer? It didn’t add up. Plus the smoke didn’t look like it was coming from a chimney. It was thick and a little unsettling, as if something much larger was burning.

There was something else. The town was quiet, too quiet. Sure, it was morning, but usually mornings were accompanied by the crowing of the roosters on Sweet Apple Acres, or by the fluttering of wings of the weather pegasi as they melted the dawn fog from the land. Today, however, the town was silent. It was as if not a single creature was stirring except for the singing birds. Where was Pinkie Pie and her usual ‘good morning’ song? Where was Rainbow Dash zipping around in the sky making rainbows to entertain the little colts and fillies? Twilight suddenly felt very cold, as if someone had just doused her in icy water. Something was not right.

She was about to call out to Spike when she noticed that the baby dragon was gone.

“Spike?!” she called, the worry building in her voice every time she said the name. “Spike? Spike! Spike, where are you?”

She looked in every nook and cranny in her tree house. When that turned up nothing, she pulled every book off of her bookshelves to see if Spike was hiding back there. But no matter where she looked, she could not find the little purple dragon. She panted and scanned the room uneasily.

“Okay, calm down, Twilight,” she said, breathing slowly. “Spike probably just went out. Yeah, that’s right! Probably went to Sugarcube Corner or something. I’m sure I’ll see him later today.”

And with that she wiped the sweat from her brow, composed herself, and walked out the door.

Then she really knew that something wasn’t right.

First there was the overturned apple cart. It looked like the same cart that Applejack and Big Macintosh always pulled from Sweet Apple Acres, except this one was on its side. One of the wheels was broken and the other turned freely on its own, occasionally squeaking from the busted axle. Apples were everywhere, some smushed underhoof, others flung far and wide. Then Twilight noticed the hoofprints. There were many of them, and they all led in the same direction: toward Town Hall. Twilight realized that the broken cart was facing the direction of Town Hall as well, which meant that either Applejack or Big Macintosh had joined a large group of ponies that had nearly stampeded toward the center of town. But what for?

The giant plume of smoke caught her eye again. Now it was as tall as Canterlot Castle, and there was a second, smaller smoke plume that had popped up next to it. She decided to check it out, stepping over the broken cart.

“Hello?” she called out. Her voice echoed off the many houses, all of which looked empty. Out of curiosity, she knocked on several doors but received no response. A few doors were open, but Twilight did not want to intrude. All she saw from the slightly-opened doors was a bunch of clothes and debris littering the floor of the houses. Whatever ponies that had lived in these homes, they had sure gotten out quickly. Was there nopony in Ponyville? Where had everypony gone?

“Anypony? Hello!” she cried out, fear creeping up her back and into her voice. She was scared now, scared of being alone. She tried to cast a spell to see if anypony was around, but she was too frightened to properly use the magic, and the spark on her horn fizzled and died. She began to shake uncontrollably. Why was she so scared?

“Ha ha. Very funny, everypony. Now come on out.”

Nothing. The only sound was that of the wind blowing through the empty buildings. The plume of smoke was getting closer, and as she walked toward the alleyway next to the street where the smoke was coming from, she noticed more hoofprints, once again leading in the direction of Town Hall. There was another trace of something alongside the hoof-marks, something bright red and shiny. Twilight looked closer, and saw that the substance appeared to be…

Blood.

She drew back, gasping. Blood? What?! Somepony had been running and bleeding, but where was the hurt pony? Ponyville General was in the opposite direction of Town Hall, so why wouldn’t the bleeding pony head there? The blood also appeared to be fresh, which meant that whatever pony that had been bleeding had passed through here recently. But the hoof-marks weren’t as fresh. They couldn’t have been more than half a day old. Something had definitely happened last night. That night Twilight had slept like a foal, and her dreams were full of libraries and books and sunshine and her friends, all hugging and nuzzling one another in a veritable pile of love…

She continued down the alleyway, lost in thought, and only when she emerged from the alley and saw where the smoke was coming from did she snap to attention.

A massive fire had consumed a house that once stood on Hoofshire Street. The fire raged and spat like an angry cat, and the smoke was thick and inky-black. The flames had spread to a few other surrounding buildings. This late in summer, the wooden buildings of Ponyville had probably dried to tinder. A simple spark would have set an entire house on fire.

Twilight’s eyes widened. Ponyville used wood in most of its buildings. If this fire spread…

She ran forward, trying to remember what the spell for summoning water was, when she tripped on the dead body.

As she opened her eyes and groaned, she realized she was covered in a sticky substance, something red and chunky.

Twilight screamed. It was blood and gore, and she had slipped in it. She waved her hooves, sending chunks of dead pony everywhere, before stepping on something gooey and turning around.

Sure enough, there was a dead body of a unicorn on the ground, and its stomach was split as if something had ripped it open. Blood was everywhere: pooled around the unicorn’s head, trailing off down another alleyway, and engraved in bloody hoofprints that led away from the corpse. It looked half-rotted, as if it had been dead for days, and it smelled rancid. Twilight gasped and nearly choked on her own vomit, before throwing up next to the body. When she saw that the unicorn’s eyes had been gouged out and that its mouth was open in an everlasting scream of pain, she threw up again, losing her dinner from the previous night. Now covered in blood and vomit, she stood woozily and walked away from the dead body, not quite sure what was going on. The burning buildings, the dead body…

“Uuuhhhh…”

She heard it from the second alleyway, the one to which the unicorn’s blood trail had led. Still a little out of it, Twilight walked toward the sound, but stopped when a hideous creature emerged from the shadows. It was a pony but with gray, necrotic skin and disgusting pus-filled eyes. Part of its head was gone, exposing its blackened brain, and its mouth was open and covered with blood. In some places its skin had peeled off, revealing bone and muscle tissue. It groaned hideously as it shuffled toward Twilight, its pupil-less, foamy yellow eyes rolling in several directions before coming to rest on her. Its jaw hung limply as if it had been broken, and its tongue flopped from its mouth, colored blue with red spots of dried blood.

“Oh my gosh!” Twilight cried. “What—what are you?!”

“Guuuhhhhh…”

Something told her that she shouldn’t let the creature get too close, so she backed off until she found a piece of smoldering wood. Holding it up like a sword, she backed up against the wall of the building adjacent to the burning house, feeling the heat of the fire on her skin.

“Back off! I’m—I’m warning you! Go away!”

But the creature did no such thing. In fact, it shuffled faster, approaching Twilight with its hooves out like it wanted to hug her. She ducked to the side, only to be faced with a mountain of burning wreckage. The house had collapsed onto the street, and its smoking debris went flying everywhere, blocking the road. The creature was almost upon her. She turned around.

“Back off! I’m warning you! I’ll smack you with this!”

She tried to cast a spell, but her horn didn’t seem to be working. Maybe it was the heat of the fire or the fear in her heart, but either way, nothing but sparks came from her horn. The creature would soon be on her, and its limp jaw was moving up and down in a chomping motion, as if it wanted to bite Twilight.

The creature was seconds away, its arms outstretched, and Twilight no longer had a choice.

“Aaah!” She swung with all her might, catching the beast on the side of its head, the sizzling end of the wood searing into its gray flesh. The thing collapsed, but was soon rising to its hooves. Twilight hit it again. And again. She beat its head until the skull had caved in, until the creature’s blood covered her, until the piece of wood fractured. She screamed every time she hit it, not stopping until she dropped the makeshift weapon and observed her handiwork. The thing’s skull was crushed, and its ugly face was unrecognizable. It was as if somepony had lowered a giant metal crate onto a pony’s head and squished it like a grape underhoof. Twilight stepped back, shivering with fear. She didn’t care that she was covered with blood, or that she had just killed something. All she wanted to do was run.

She turned around, and there were more of them, gray rotting things that shambled toward her like ponies with stiff legs. Some had no legs whatsoever and were crawling on their chests. Some had entrails hanging out. Others were missing eyeballs, noses, or entire faces. A few were almost completely fleshless, their yellowish skeletons creaking underneath bloody bags of rotten muscle. All of them were converging on Twilight. All of them were groaning.

Twilight froze with fear.

“Zombies,” she uttered.

Then she turned tail and fled, heading for Town Hall.

The town center was a mess. There were signs of struggle and fortification everywhere. Pieces of furniture and building supplies made barricades to ward off the undead. Several dead zombies hung over them, pierced by sharpened stakes and brained by Celestia-knows-what. Other zombies lay in heaps in the grass and on the cobblestones in front of Town Hall. Their skulls had also been caved in by blunt weapons. Twilight looked around for something she could use as a weapon, finally deciding on a big clublike piece of wood from one of the barricades. Behind her, the sound of zombies grew louder as many dozens, maybe even hundreds, converged on the square.

Twilight had to get into Town Hall. She had to find Spike and send a letter to Princess Celestia. If it spread to Canterlot, then all of Equestria would be doomed. But if they could contain it in Ponyville, thousands of lives could be saved.

But there was so much she didn’t know about it. She didn’t even know if these things were actual zombies or infected ponies. They certainly seemed like zombies from campfire ghost stories and mystic lore, but she knew next to nothing about them. How did the disease spread? Airborne? Rodents? Equine contact? How did one turn into a zombie? Was it through bites? Bodily fluids? Was Twilight already infected? She tried to remember what she knew about zombies. Unfortunately, she had never been one for silly monster stories, so she didn’t know much. Nevertheless, she wracked her mind for information as the zombies closed in.

Zombies…zombies, let’s see…they’re bodies risen from the grave. They can only die with a blow to the head. If you’re bitten, you either die or become a zombie...

The zombies entered the square, hundreds of them, and the smell was enough to make Twilight’s eyes water. She hoped some of the barricades would halt the horde’s progression, but judging by the many chewed-on and eviscerated bodies that lay around the defenses, she reasoned that it would not be enough.

One zombie got too close, and Twilight brained it. More blood scattered across the cobblestones. Breathing heavily, she bashed another one and kicked a third in the stomach. The third zombie’s guts fell out of its ruptured chest, and right about then Twilight almost vomited again. Instead she used the distraction to bludgeon the zombie to a second death. It was just like playing baseball with the colts and fillies after school. Just swing and try to make contact.

She did make contact, most of the time. A zombie never got closer than five feet. But she was running out of ground as she climbed up the blood-soaked marble steps of Town Hall. The zombies kept coming, and she saw even more piling out of the homes she thought had been abandoned. There were too many of them. Fighting was useless. She hadn’t even tried the door, but just as she turned around, a zombie pounced on her.

Being so close to the living dead, Twilight had to choke back the sickening feeling as her nostrils flooded with the smell of rotten death. She rolled over, screaming, and put the wooden stick between her and the zombie’s jaws. It was useless, though. The others would be on her in seconds. She was again too scared to cast any magic, so she said her goodbyes as she looked into the seeping yellow eyes of the drooling zombie pony that snapped at her. Those rotten, black teeth clenched and bit at her, eager to wedge themselves into warm equine flesh and—

BLAM!

Suddenly the zombie’s head was gone, and Twilight could see the beautiful cloudless sky. Funny, how the world was ending on such a gorgeous day. She kicked back the zombie’s dead body and looked up.

Above her stood Applejack, toting her gleaming double-barrel shotgun that was still smoking. Her eyes narrowed, and she squeezed the trigger again. Another zombie pony lost its head, and Applejack ejected the spent rounds from her shotgun and looked down at Twilight.

“C’mon, Twi! Get inside! Quick!”

Twilight didn’t argue. Her ears were still ringing from the shotgun blasts, but she managed to get up and stumble towards the open Town Hall doors. A dozen hooves grabbed her and shoved her inside, and she felt hot and cold water being sprayed at her body in sweeping intervals.

“Get her doused! Get her doused!”

“Was she bitten?! Twilight, were you bitten?!”

“Is Pinkie with you? Or Rarity? Apple Bloom? Anypony?”

“By Celestia, did you go through all those undead?”

“I think she’s okay!” Applejack screamed as she shut and barred the door to the building. “She doesn’t look bit! Twi, you okay?”

“Ugh. What was that all about?” she coughed as she began to shiver from the water dripping down her body.

“Will somepony go ‘n fetch some dang towels?”

“On it, AJ!”

Twilight caught the faintest glimpse of a rainbow as a pegasus dashed deeper into the building, but she knew who it was.

“Rainbow Dash is with you?” she asked as Applejack led her to one of the couches.

“Her ‘n a buncha others. I came here with my brother, Granny Smith, ‘n a couple others, like Lyra and Bonbon. Dash and Fluttershy are here, and a few other ponies like Derpy and Time Turner, but that’s it. Didja see any other ponies out there, Twi?”

Twilight shook her head as Rainbow Dash returned and covered her with warm towels. “I—no. I just woke up, and—and Spike was gone, and the whole village was, well—”

“Twilight?” Fluttershy said as she approached. “Are you okay?”

Twilight smiled. “I am now, Fluttershy. But where is everypony else?”

“We don’t know,” Rainbow Dash responded, settling into a couch next to Twilight. “We managed to take cover in here, but I don’t think it will hold for long. Those things are nasty.”

“But what are they?”

“Zombies o’ some sort, I reckon,” Applejack answered, propping her gun on her knee as a few other ponies went to fortify the windows and doors. “Flesh-eatin’ monsters risen from the dead.”

“Are you sure they’ve risen from the dead?” Twilight asked, eyeing Derpy as she clumsily fluttered along the rafters, keeping watch from above. “I mean, what if they’re just infected?”

“Nah, they’re undead, all right. Ask mah darn granpappy. He’s been dead fer thirteen years ‘n last night I saw him walkin’ through our apple orchards! Right, Big Macintosh?”

The hulking red stallion was assisting another in putting boards on the windows. He turned around and spat a hammer out of his mouth. “Eeyup.”

“All of this happened last night?”

“Looks like it,” Rainbow Dash said, tucking her legs under her body. “Man, those things are scary. I mean, well, not that I’m scared. It’s just, they’re creepy. And they’ve killed a whole bunch of ponies!”

“Like Berry Punch,” Fluttershy said, sniffling. “And Roseluck. Colgate. Angel…”

She broke down in tears, and Rainbow Dash went over to comfort her. Twilight’s heart sank. “They…They got Angel?”

Applejack looked at the ground, and Twilight could see the sadness in her eyes. “Those damn things’ll eat anythin’. They went after Fluttershy’s chickens and one—one got Winona.”

She hiccupped, as though she were going to cry as well, but composed herself. “She was a good dog. She led the biters off so we could get out, but Apple Bloom...oh man, she’s still at school. Do ya think…?”

“I’m sure she’s fine, AJ,” Twilight said, but she didn’t sound very confident. Something banged against the door. Applejack looked at the windows and sighed.

“They’re gonna get in here soon. We can’t board up every door ‘n window in the building. Derpy told me that damn zombies already broke in through the north doorway. We’re in the middle of the masses here, Twi. We need t’find someplace safe.”

“Someplace safe…” Suddenly Twilight stood up. “That’s it! I’ll write to Princess Celestia! She’ll know what’s going on!”

She reached for a pen and paper from the desk next to the couch, then stopped herself. “But how will I send it without Spike? He usually sends these things to Canterlot.”

Rainbow Dash scratched her head with her hoof as the sounds of banging and groaning grew outside. “Um, can’t you, like, cast a spell to send it there?”

Twilight thought about it for a while. “I suppose I could try.”

“Well alrighty then, let’s do it! You send th’ message, Twi, and we’ll make sure these undead knuckleheads don’t get in!”

With that Applejack grabbed her shotgun and went to a broken window, firing out at the zombie horde that had massed outside. Twilight wrote down her message as the others yelled and held back the undead from the door and windows.

“Dear Princess Celestia. Something terrible is happening. The dead have risen from the grave! Ponyville is under attack! What should we do?”

She rolled it up and concentrated, thinking up the right spell and feeling the magic flow through her. When it reached the tip of her horn, there was little else to do but let it out. Magic flowed from her horn down into the scroll, which vanished from sight. The spell sputtered out, and Twilight fell back onto the couch. As she put her head back, the air grew thick, and something very large and heavy fell onto her lap.

“Ooof!” she cried as the object landed on her. Applejack turned around.

“Twi!”

She dropped her gun and ran to help her friend, pushing the object off and pulling Twilight to her hooves. Applejack had to struggle with all her might to get the object off of her, but after a few moments of pushing, the thing fell to the floor with a loud clang. Twilight looked down, and her eyes widened.

“Is that a…”

The object was long and shiny, with a bulky purple metal handled square attached to a serrated blade. Twilight knew immediately what it was, and she was beyond confused.

“I thought—I thought only lumberjacks used these—”

“Twi? What is that thing?”

Suddenly Twilight noticed the note attached to the object. She pulled it off and read it.

My dearest pupil Twilight,

A great plague has fallen upon our land. The dead have risen, and as of now I have no means of stopping them from rising. Until an answer can be sought, we must send these foul creatures back to Tartarus where they came from. You are to keep your friends and yourself safe throughout this while I seek a cure for this disease. Take this weapon and use it wisely. Let no undead walk this land again.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Out of curiosity, she looked on the back. On it were two scrawled sentences:

This is a chainsaw. Use it well.

Twilight had seen such objects in books about lumberjacks, but never imagined that she’d be using one to fight zombies. She picked it up and discovered that it was not as heavy as she thought it was, and that the handle fit her hooves perfectly. It didn’t feel awkward or stiff at all. For some reason she felt very comfortable now that this chainsaw was in her hooves. It was even in her color.

She pulled the ignition cord, and the saw roared to life before subsiding to a low purr. The other ponies stepped back, afraid of the strange device. Twilight chuckled.

“What? You’ve never seen a chainsaw before?”

“I have,” Applejack said, her voice quavering. “We use ‘em all the time t’ cut down dead apple trees. But Twi, what’re you gonna—”

Suddenly there was a scream, and several zombies burst through the doors as the ponies ran for their lives. Twilight thought about the words on the Princess’s note.

Use it wisely. Use it well.

“Stand back,” she said with such a spurt of confidence that her friends actually heeded her words. “I know what to do.”

And, praying to Celestia that she wasn’t making a very stupid mistake, she charged the zombies with the saw facing forward.

It cut through them like a hot knife through butter. Blood spewed and spattered across the marble floors as rotten body parts went flying. She swung, chopped, and stabbed. Sometimes she’d slice them in half horizontally, other times vertically. Sometimes she would run a zombie through and lift it into the air so that it writhed, spraying blood all over the place. She was no longer scared of the zombies, and because of that her magic returned. She performed a quick spell that protected her eyes from the flying blood, then went to town—literally.

She managed to push the zombie horde out into the plaza, leaving behind a mess of blood, gore, and bodies. As she cut and stabbed, she experimented with different zombie killing methods. Each came naturally to her, and the chainsaw felt weightless like a perfectly balanced sword in her hooves. Soon she was completely covered with blood and gore, but her eyes and nostrils remained unclogged thanks to her magic. She smashed a fallen zombie’s head in with her hoof as she stuck her chainsaw through another’s skull, tearing it to pieces. Bits of bone, muscle, and rotten flesh went flying. But the zombies kept coming. There must have been hundreds of them converging on the square. Twilight stood smack dab in the middle of the plaza, breathing heavily as the chainsaw purred again, splattered with zombie blood.

An idea sprang into her mind. She smiled.

“Oh yeah.”

She concentrated, and the chainsaw levitated into the air, floating weightlessly. She opened her eyes and smiled again as the zombies closed in, their groans mixing together to form a chorus of moaning death.

“Eat this, you undead nags!” she screamed, and suddenly the chainsaw went flying through the air, slicing through every zombie’s chest, skull, or legs, and sometimes all of the above. The chainsaw tore through them, cutting them down like weeds. In a few seconds, the only thing left standing in the plaza was Twilight Sparkle. The wooden barricades had been cut like lumber. The plaza ground was coated with a thick layer of blood and guts, and in some places the blood formed rivulets in the cracks of the stone. The only spotless area was where Twilight stood, though she was covered head to hoof in gore. A zombie’s jaw was stuck in her mane. She shook it free.

Finally the last undead stopped twitching and the ponies from Town Hall came out. Applejack observed the aftermath of Twilight’s rampage, trying and failing to stay away from the blood.

“Twi,” she uttered. Words failed her, as she did not speak again. All of the ponies had their mouths wide open and their eyes as big as dinner plates. Applejack looked at her friend, who was staring maniacally at the chainsaw. Twilight stared for a few more seconds, looked up at Applejack, and smiled.

“Just another day in Ponyville.”