Twilight Sparkle: Zombie Slayer

Chapter 2: School’s Out…Forever

“What in tarnation were ya thinkin’?”

They had finished cleaning off the blood and gore from Twilight’s mane and skin, but she would not let them clean the chainsaw. Twilight couldn’t explain the feeling that she got when she held it, the contentment that spread through her body as if she had just eaten a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies. This was her chainsaw, and she wasn’t going to let anypony touch it.

Meanwhile Applejack was pacing back in forth in the entrance area to Town Hall as Big Macintosh and Time Turner tried to fix the door. It was quiet outside, on account of the fact that Twilight had killed just about every zombie within shouting distance. Lyra and Derpy were outside burning the bodies, and the smell of cooking meat mixed with the black smoke that curled in through the broken windows.

“Seriously, Twi! Are ya nuts? You could’ve gotten badly hurt out there!”

“Princess Celestia said I had to protect my friends,” Twilight said, looking at her crossly, “and that’s exactly what I did. She gave me this weapon because she knew I’d be the only one who could handle it!”

“And why’s that?” Applejack asked crossly. “I’ve handled a chainsaw more often ‘n you! Why din’t she pick me?”

“Because this is no ordinary chainsaw,” Twilight said, using her magic to siphon off the blood from the blade. “She blessed this with magic. If it were just a chainsaw I wouldn’t have been able to use it. This—this is the weapon to use in order to kill these things.”

“You sure? ‘Cuz I got my gun, so does Big Mac, and we’ve got a few baseball bats ‘n sticks. Plus Granny Smith gathered a few axes ‘n pitchforks from the barn before these buckin’ zombies attacked.”

Twilight nodded. “I’m very sure, Applejack. This is a magic chainsaw. Remember how you could barely move it when it first arrived? That’s because only a unicorn can wield this.”

“How do you know all that?” Big Macintosh asked, joining in on the conversation. Twilight smiled.

“I don’t, actually. I’m making an educated guess. The only other explanation would be that I learned how to gracefully and effectively wield a giant chainsaw as a zombie-killing weapon in the past twenty-four hours. You ever hear of Trottam’s Razor?”

Their faces were blank.

“It states that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Princess Celestia must have enchanted this so that it could be a weapon.”

“Oh, I guess I see,” Applejack grumbled. “But doesn’t that mean that she knew this was all gonna happen? I mean, why have a killer chainsaw if you ain’t gonna be needin’ it?”

“Not necessarily,” Twilight answered. “I don’t believe that this was premeditated, but on the other hoof, I really can’t say. But we’ve got more important things to deal with right now, like—”

“Findin’ mah sister!” Applejack cried.

“Finding better shelter!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Finding muffins!” Derpy chimed in, and when everypony looked at her crossly she ducked out of sight, tucking her tail between her legs.

“Personally, I think that finding the fillies should be our top priority right now,” Twilight said, hefting the chainsaw. “You said they were at the school, AJ?”

Applejack nodded. “Yeah! I remember they were stayin’ late to help Cheerilee with some kinda project! We were too busy holdin’ the biters off from th’ farm to go ‘n see!”

Twilight stood up, chainsaw in hoof. “Then let’s get to it. I’ll take a few of you with me. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Big Macintosh should come. Everypony else, stay here and hold down the fort. We need this place fortified if another horde comes our way.”

Nopony argued. After all, Twilight was the one with the chainsaw. It seemed only proper that she was leader. Time Turner, Derpy, Lyra, and Bonbon set to work on the fortifications while Fluttershy and Granny Smith inspected the rest of the building. The other ponies gathered their weapons and converged outside in the plaza.

The fire was still going strong, burning up the rotten bodies of the zombie ponies, and Twilight noticed that there were similar smoke plumes all over Ponyville. Either the fires were spreading or somepony else had the same idea. Applejack loaded her shotgun as Big Macintosh slung a rifle over his shoulder and Rainbow Dash gripped a hoe. The town was still eerily quiet, except for the occasional crack of a distant gunshot or muffled scream. Undaunted, the group set out in the direction of the school.

They were halfway there, having traversed ruined streets that boasted only the occasional zombie or two, when Noteworthy appeared.

Applejack was the first to notice him, and she nearly pulled the trigger. Twilight wouldn’t have blamed her. Noteworthy was covered in blood and grime. Tufts of his mane had fallen out, and he was limping. Then Twilight noticed the large black bite mark on his flank.

“T-Twilight…Sparkle…”

He collapsed to the ground next to an overturned fruit stand, and Twilight set down her chainsaw and was about to go help him when Applejack held her back.

“I wouldn’t get too close, Twi. He’s been bit. He’s infected. Gonna turn into one a’ them.”

“And what, we’re just gonna leave him?!” Twilight snapped. “Maybe he won’t turn. We can’t just leave him here!”

“Then let’s put ‘im out of his misery.” With that Applejack cocked her gun and walked up to Noteworthy, who had slipped into unconsciousness.

“Wait! Just wait a second!”

Twilight pushed herself past Applejack and knelt down to Noteworthy. His normally azure coat was pale blue and thin. He looked as though he had lost a lot of weight in a very short time. He wasn’t breathing. Twilight felt for his pulse but found none.

“He’s dead.”

Applejack stepped back, lowering her gun. Twilight stood up and picked up her weapon.

“We should keep moving. Before he turns.”

“Why not just—?”

“If you have the guts to blow his head off, AJ, then you do it. I’m not touching him.”

She walked off, and Rainbow Dash joined her. Big Macintosh stayed with Applejack a while, trying to coax her into moving along, while his sister just stared at the corpse. After a few minutes, she gave up and walked after Twilight, with Big Macintosh following alongside her. As they rounded the corner and walked out of sight, Noteworthy’s eyes opened.

Thankfully the streets were mostly empty. Had Twilight killed most of the zombies of Ponyville? The answer, they found, was no. Twice they stumbled upon a horde of undead ponies that were lounging around in the streets, but they went unnoticed. Even in her state of mixed fear and anticipation, Twilight’s mind was racing. The behavior of these ponies was so erratic. Rarely would a single one escape its horde without the others joining in, and sometimes they would completely ignore potential prey. What kind of disease did this to somepony? For that, Twilight had no answers, but now that hell seemed to have taken over Equestria, her chainsaw would probably be the only answer needed.

The sky was bloodred and the sun was a semicircle by the time they reached the school. The building was completely surrounded by zombies, all of whom were pounding on the windows and doors, as if they knew that prey was inside.

“Get ready, everypony,” Twilight said, sneering as she put her hoof on the ignition cord. “I’m gonna draw them to us.

“Yeah!” Applejack cried, but then her eyes bulged. “Wait, what? Twi, don’t—!”

RRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The chainsaw growled and screamed, and every zombie in front of the school turned its head and began to shuffle toward the group of ponies. Applejack looked livid.

“You dang moron! What the heck are ya thinkin’?”

“We’ll be fine, AJ! Leave this to me!”

And with that, Twilight stepped forward, and another zombie massacre began.

It was more of the same, really. Horizontal, vertical, and diagonal cuts, intermixed with the occasional through-and-through stab. Eventually Applejack and Big Macintosh joined in, while Rainbow Dash flew up to the school, looking in the windows for any sign of the fillies. Gunfire echoed across the village, and Twilight knew that it would draw even more zombies.

But for some reason, she wanted the zombies to come. A change had come over her since she had first picked up the chainsaw. Suddenly she wanted to kill these things. Some kind of sadistic feeling had occupied her, and while she noticed and was concerned by it, she didn’t want it to go away. It was as though she needed to kill with this chainsaw, as if it were the right thing to do. It gave her pleasure to do so, and every drop of undead blood spilt warmed her heart a little more. This was not like her. She abhorred death of any kind—even when the dying was already dead. But now—now she felt like a warrior, and this chainsaw was her trusted weapon, as comfortable in her hooves as a book. That’s what it felt like to her, just a long, metal, serrated killer book. And it was time to give these undead monsters a reading lesson.

“Dagnabbit!” Big Macintosh called. “Ah’m outta ammo!”

“Me too!” Applejack cried. “Dag nabbit!”

“Don’t worry, just get behind me!”

They did so, and Twilight continued to hack away at the zombie army, slicing and dicing any undead that came near. Once or twice she thought she saw one that resembled somepony she knew, but a little voice in her head told her that getting sentimental now would get her killed. Soon she wasn’t even looking at the zombies as she killed them. Her head faced the ground so that her eyes would be free of blood and flying body parts, and her arms moved so fluidly you would think that they were boneless, curling and uncurling, bringing instant death to the horde that was upon them.

It was all over in a few minutes. Twilight was once again covered in blood, but this time she didn’t let it bother her. Clearly bodily fluids did not cause the infection, at least not via personal contact. She made a mental note not to swallow anything until she got cleaned up.

Rainbow Dash flew back down and whistled with amazement, eyeballing the dozens of dead, mutilated bodies that littered the street.

“Dang, Twilight! Remind me never to call you egghead again.”

“Gotcha,” Twilight replied, breathing heavily and not really paying attention. “What’s—what’s the situation?”

“Looks like the school’s empty. It’s not a really big building, but I couldn’t see any of the fillies, or Cheerilee. Maybe they fled.”

“Maybe,” Applejack said, still staring at Twilight with apprehension and slight disgust. Rainbow Dash had the same look, but Twilight didn’t notice. “We should check, just in case.”

And with that, Rainbow Dash broke down the schoolhouse door, and they walked inside.

Desks were overturned, lamps were broken, and a trail of blood led out the back door. Clearly the zombies had already gotten in, but how? Except for the broken back door, there was no way in…

“Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, her voice quivering with horror. “Look.”

She pointed at a lumpy object on the floor, and when they approached they realized that it was the body of a young filly, caked with blood and bite marks. Her back faced the group, and it was adorned with scratches and bites. Part of one of her hind legs was missing. Her skin, where it was not covered with blood, was gray. A pair of broken glasses lay next to her braided silver mane.

“Oh my word,” Applejack gasped. “Ain’t that—?”

“Silver Spoon,” Twilight finished. “She’s dead.”

“Dead or undead? We gotta make sure.”

“How?”

“Forget about it,” Twilight said. “The fillies aren’t here. But it’s getting late. Maybe we should head back.”

“No way!” Applejack protested. “We gotta find ‘em! We gotta—”

“How the heck are we going to find them now, AJ?” Twilight countered. “They could be anywhere. Clearly the zombies managed to get in here, so they might even be—”

She stopped herself and wondered what the buck she was doing. Applejack was nearly in tears. Rainbow Dash looked appalled. Big Macintosh, however, looked very angry.

“This is our sister we’re talkin’ about, ya hear? She ain’t dead! Don’ even say that!”

“I’m—I’m sorry,” Twilight managed, plopping down amidst the debris. “I don’t know why I said that. It’s just—what in Equestria happened? Why is everything—this?”

She spread her hooves, and suddenly Rainbow Dash’s eyes went wide. Before anypony could say anything, she threw the hoe across the room. Twilight heard a low thunk and somepony moaning, and then the sound of a collapse. She turned around.

A small zombie lay on the ground with a hoe in its head, its mouth covered in blood. With a small gasp, Twilight realized it was—

“Diamond Tiara.”

Rainbow Dash suddenly looked sick. “We have to get out of here. Back to town hall. Then we can talk about—this.”

Everypony except Twilight nodded. She merely hung her head and picked up the saw, dragging it with her as they piled out of the broken schoolhouse.