What You Wish For 3: The Book of Earth Pony

Alex was suddenly woken from his sleep when the ship suddenly stopped, the force was great enough to throw him along with all the other ponies onto the ground. After a few seconds of resting under a pile of marshmallows, Alex mumbled from the bottom of the pile, “I must have forgotten to turn my swagger off…” Alex popped his head out to the top as he said with a large smile across his face, “cause I’m covered in bitches!”

A murmured mumbling came from one of the hammocks, Mike slowly raised his head as he slurred, “Yo, we there?”

Pinkie quickly raised her head from the hammock as well as she squeaked, “This is totally awesome! I’m a pirate now!”

As Pinkie bounced out of the bed, Alex grabbed her by the tail as he giggled, “Hold on a minute, we need everyone to wake up as well.”

As Alex turned his head towards Lauren’s hammock, all he found was an empty sack. Suddenly her red hair dropped from outside the doorway before she revealed her head while saying, “Come on wake up, lazy pirates. Discord, Twi, Slendy, and I were just planning on our next steps.”

Alex rubbed his eyes as he groaned, “Alright, I’ll be up in a few.” When Lauren disappeared above the room, Alex looked down at the pile of sleeping ponies as he said, “Can… can someone help me out of here?”

*****

After a few minutes of getting everypony ready, Alex made his way to the upper room. As he approached the doors of solid silver and gold, he began to think of how Ponyville is doing with the sudden influx of Canterlottians (I don’t know, I guess they can be called that). He feared of how Earth could be on the brink of entering into this universe, all piss and vinegar. Alex pushed open the large doors to reveal the sun filled room occupied by Twilight, Lauren, Discord, and Slenderman. They all sat around the large dining table, a map had been laid out in front of them depicting the city they had arrived to.

Alex quickly took a seat as he said with a nod, “Morning everyone, so now that we made it across the Big Flippin’ Ocean what would our next steps be?”

Discord looked up as he said, “Considering we arrived here before scheduled time, we do have some time to play tourist. For about thirty minutes we could take a look around my hometown, Fillydeplhia.”

“You were from Fillydelphia?” Alex exclaimed in joyful surprize, “Which side? West side or East side?”

Discord decided to get up from his chair, he casually stuck out his hand and materialized a pair of sky blue shades and an orange baseball cap as he said, “This might help explain it.”

Now this is the tale all about how
My being became the way that you see.
And I’d like to take a minute and rap a whole lot
About the tale I became the evil me
From Canterlot

In west Fillydelphia born and raised
In the clouds where I spent most of my days
Flying through, laughing, and floating all cool
And all makin’ some choco-milk for the kids at school

When this one alicorn, he was up to no good
Started cussing at me all because he could
I zapped one tiny spell, he started crying a lot
Everyone shunned me before I said, “I must flee quickly
I’m off to Canterlot.”

I flew away, fast over the sea
Towards a new island called Equestria for friends I sought
The castle was large, big enough for me
I said aloud, “I finally made it to Canterlot!”

I pulled a few tricks, a gag or two
The princesses fought oh Boo-Hoo
Stone imprisonment, and now I’m here
This was the story of the god you should fear.

When Discord had finished his rap, he stared down at the group. Pinkie Pie, Alex, and Dash looked at him in awe of his bodaciousness. Lauren smiled brightly as she stared back at him. The rest of the group had their heads tilted in confusion.

Alex simply turned around and said, “It’s from an old eighties show called Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

Twilight gave a curious look as she said, “I think we should be on our way now. We can talk about shows that we saw back on earth later.” With that, Twilight turned tail and trotted away with Discord and Lauren at her sides.

Alex along with Mike trailed at the back of the pack, Alex leaned over as he asked, “You know Will Smith right?”

Mike looked over as he said, “You mean the guy who won a Nobel peace prize for being the first human made of solid swagger?”

Alex’s eyes were wide with surprize, he knew Willie had talent but not to that extent. Alex kept his blank look on his face as he stuttered, “Er… yeah… that guy.”

Mike and Alex watched as the girls trotted along, looking at all the wonderful stores that would bar up as Discord walked past them. Pinkie would bounce around the place and wave to all the new ponies she met, making sure she left no pony unfriended. Mike had a warm smile on his face as he said, “Yo man, I really am enjoying my time here.”

Alex continued to walk, his hands buried in his jeans as he said with a look of curiosity, “Yeah?”

Mike pulled a toothpick out and inserted it in his mouth to up the swag meter as he chuckled, “Meeting Pinkie made me realize something important, I learnt that girls ain’t all booty and buns, but rather how much they make you smile.”

Alex patted Mike on the back as he said with a look of pride, “A good cliché lesson to learn, my friend. Yeah… Pinkie seems so happy to be around you.”

Mike took a deep breath as he said while rubbing his shiny head, “Imma have to say in all honesty, I’m gonna miss bein’ here with Pinkie and you.”

Alex dawned a look of worry as he turned to Mike and asked, “What do you mean?” Alex began to fear the thoughts of Mike admitting to having a terminal illness which would send this story into a crappy romance tragedy.

Mike pulled the toothpick from his mouth as he said, “I have to go home someday, right? Once there’s a way for me to go home and see my family. I need to see my sister, she’s probably worried sick right now.”

Alex looked over at Pinkie as he said to Mike, “You’re going to break her heart yet again; another human lied to her and hurt her emotionally. Leaving her will devastate her and probably send her into insanity.”

Mike shook his head as he pleaded, “Look man, I have to make a difficult decision.”

Alex looked at Mike with eyes of pity, he could see the pain Mike was beginning to feel as he thought of his family he left behind. Alex gave Mike a sympathetic look and rested his arm over Mike’s shoulder as he said, “I think we will be able to make a compromise somehow.”

Mike gave a look of hope as he said, “You think that’d work?”

Alex winked as he said, “A Mulroney never ever breaks a promise. In fact, I once had a friend admit he was gay to me. Despite all the horrible things he put me through when he started hating me, I never once mentioned his secret.”

Mike grinned as he said, “You just broke your promise dawg.”

Alex shook his head as he said, “Nope, the kid has probably been dead for a while. He was into the whole death metal thing where he would set his hair on fire and stuff. If he is, though, then I owe him a shot to the nuts.”

Mike laughed a bit, “Hey, since I might not be here for much longer, I’m gonna hang out with Pinks.”

Alex patted him on the back as he said, “That would be a good idea.” Alex then watched as Mike ran up behind Pinkie and lifted her off her hooves to hear her giggle and snort in joy.

Alex decided to catch up to Twilight and Discord. As he approached them, Lauren said, “So where are we going?”

Discord looked over at the goddess of everything as he said, “Just around the corner, it’s amazing I can still remember which street I lived on.”

Twilight looked around at the houses in the complex, they all seemed to look the same with the same bland colors with curtains that had frightening patterns on them. Twilight looked over to Rarity as she said to Discord, “It’s amazing how you can remember which house you lived in.”

Discord laughed as he said, “Alright, house 42, now let’s be quick with this alright?”

Alex shrugged as he asked, “Why be quick? Aside from the fact we are on the brink of war.”

Discord hung his head low and sighed, he had to muster up the courage before saying, “Mom and Dad would act a certain way around new guests.”

Lauren approached the door as she said with a look of sympathy, “Oh come on, not every parent is the same when it comes to new people.”

Mike nodded his head as he contributed, “Yeah, my mom would smell people’s shoes and use the smell to determine whether they were baptized or not.” Mike quickly realized everyone was looking at him, looks of extreme confusion across their faces. Mike shrugged as he exclaimed, “What? I was just trying to make D feel better.”

Discord lightly knocked on the door as he said, “Yeah well my parents hate me.”

Lauren was shocked to hear this, she gave a surprized look as she said, “Discord, your parents don’t hate you! It’s called tough love.”

Discord gave a sneer as he whispered, “What do you think drove me out of the house when I was young.”

The door suddenly swung open, a large dark figure that towered over Discord stood at the doorway as it said in a thunderous voice, “Well, well, well… if it isn’t my son?”

***** Stay tuned for Chapter: I lost count! ******