What You Wish For 3: The Book of Earth Pony

Once everyone had settled into the library and had warmed up, Mike finally walking again after being in the wheelchair for a few days, they all sat down on the benches around the fire prepared to listen to Alex’s telling of the story.

Pinkie hopped up on Mike’s lap as she said, “So I wanna know how he got that big thingy over there.”

Alex motioned for her to calm down as he said, “You’ll here that when I get to it.” As Alex said that, Fluttershy slowly climbed up on his lap and began to snuggle up to him. Alex took in a deep breath as he said, “Well, it all started like this…”

The street was empty and dark, not a whisper could be heard as the wind blew shopping bags throughout the streets. A sudden gust of wind began to pick up at the end of one of the alleyways and slowly began to grow ever so violent until a ball of orange light began to appear. The light grew ever more intense until it was a few inches away from being a supernova, as quickly as it appeared it disappeared much the same, leaving behind a group of people.

Alex slowly got up to his feet as he said in a whisper, “So where do you think we are?”

Mike slowly wheeled up to Alex’s side as he said, “No clue man. All I know is that it seems oddly quiet.”

Fluttershy looked up as she said, “I think we’re back in your home town, Alex.”

Alex slowly walked to her as he said in a sympathetic voice, “Come on, Shy, how could we possibly be back in Kemptville?”

Fluttershy pointed towards the stars as she said, “Every night when I climbed into your bed for the night I would look up at the bright shiny stars and remember how they looked. I never forgot the way they looked compared to all the stars we could see in the big cities.”

Alex gently patted her shoulder as he said, “Wow… that’s odd but somehow understandable. Let’s just ask Mike over here, Mike where are we?”

Mike quickly pulled out a small cell phone shaped object and turned it on, after looking at it for a few seconds he said, “Well we are in a place called Kemptville which is in Canada… strange how the streets aren’t filled with people at this time of night.”

Alex slowly began to creep out of the alleyway as he said, “Maybe there’s a reason for it, let’s try not to draw too much attention.”

As Alex was prepared to step out onto the streets he heard Bon-Bon’s voice say, “Guys… you might want to take a look at this.”

As everyone turned to look at Bon-Bon, they watched as she picked up a newspaper from the trashcan. Alex slowly walked up to it and picked it up, reading the headlines in horror as his eyes went wide with shock. Alex slowly read the headline out loud, “Death of supreme commander… Conscription passed… oh god this is all my fault.”

As Alex stumbled back in a dizzy shock, Mike grabbed the newspaper and read over it before saying, “Well it says here that you only made Canada, America, and Mexico go to war with you.”

Alex began to panic as he said, “We have two of the most powerful countries against us and your saying its ONLY Canada Mexico and America?”

Mike motioned for Alex to calm down as he said, “Be happy it ain’t Africa, in 2040 the new leader of Africa dominated all of Europe and Asia and quickly became the world’s super country that it is today.”

Alex began to stare at Mike as he said, “What the hell happened in the seventy years I was gone?”

Mike smiled as he said, “Dude, Canada and Mexico are nothing compared to Korea and Africa now… you ain’t got nothin to worry about.”

Alex quickly grabbed the newspaper and threw it into the trashcan as he said quietly, “So our best guess is that lots of people moved over to the eastern countries to seek refuge. We better make sure we’re not caught by the military and forced into war.”

Mike began to think, he brought his hand to his chin as he thought hard about where to hide from the military before saying, “How about over there?” Mike then pointed towards an empty building across the street, the letters “H”, “O”,”E”, and “L” remained while the “T” laid on the ground, the windows were boarded up with glass still behind the wooden covers, Mike smiled as he said, “That was easy.”

Alex quickly moved towards the other side of the street, making sure he used no magic that would draw attention as he said, “We have to move quick before someone spots us.” As Alex reached the other end of the street he silently created a portal through the barred up door, the rest of the group then swiftly crossed the street into the dark room. Once everyone had entered, Alex walked in and closed the portal behind them. Once inside, they were enveloped in darkness. Alex took a few steps in as he said in a bit of a louder voice, “Hopefully no one else saw us.”

The sudden click of a bunch of guns made Alex think otherwise as a deep and old voice said, “Alone is one thing I wouldn’t include if I were you.”

Alex quickly spun around with his fist ready to punch, the next thing he felt was his arm being grabbed and pulled before he felt a knee jam into his stomach. As Alex thumped to the ground, Fluttershy quickly came to his side as she said in a panicking voice, “Alex! Are you okay?”

Alex quickly began to light up like a glow stick, the room began to illuminate and reveal all the other people inside. Alex quickly got to his feet to see a man who looked to be in his late seventies with a pistol in his hand say, “Boy… you don’t look like a soldier.”

Alex shook his head as he said in a sarcastic tone, “What you mean the glow in the dark teen? What made you think that old timer?”

The old man looked over at Mike as he said, “But this one looks like a soldier… Ni”

Before the old man could finish what he was about to say, Mike interrupted him, “Excuse me?”

Another voice that sounded just as old came from the back of the room saying, “Leave him Max… they haven’t attacked us yet, they must be on our side.”

Alex slowly brought his fists down to see who the man was, behind the first old man approached a man whose face was covered in shadows. The man moved swiftly as he said, “Tell me young man, why are you all here, and how the hell are you glowing?”

Alex slowly began to dim down, the orange light slowly fading away as he said, “We just came from far away and we are here to stop the western armies.”

The old man slowly rested his hand on Max’s shoulder as he said, “You can put the gun down,” He then turned around as he said; “these are good guys, guys.”

****

A few minutes later Alex had gotten everyone from his group settled down around a small fire the old man had set up, turns out that there were a bunch of men and women ranging from ages between twenty and a hundred years old camping out in this abandoned hotel. As Alex sat down next to Mike, the old man approached the fire with a scarf around his face. As the old man sat down Alex quickly got up saying, “Here old timer, take my seat.”

The old man gave out a tired laugh as he said, “I’m not that old, I may be eighty years old but I can still kick ass like I could sixty years ago.” As the old man sat down, he began to poke at the fire with a stick as he said, “Sorry about my brother, Maxwell… the boy can be a bit racist at times. Tell me, what’s your name?”

Alex smiled as he looked into the fire while saying, “I’m Alex Mulroney, this is Michael Eisenberg, this is Flora Shine, Laura Heartstrings and uhhh….” Alex actually forgot what he had named Bon-Bon as he sat there with his finger pointed at her.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes before saying with a wink, “The name is Bon… Jane Bon” From behind the old man she could see Alex throwing his fists in the air as to say “YES SHE SAID IT”.

The old man quickly pulled the scarf from his face to reveal a nicely trimmed beard as he said with a bright smile, “My god… I can’t believe my eyes, you’re really Alex Mulroney.”

Alex’s eyes began to dart from side to side; this old kook might be a few apples short of a bush as he said, “Yeah… that’s me.”

The old man looked towards Fluttershy as he said, “I know your real name, young girl you’re not Flora Shine. You’re Fluttershy.”

Alex’s heart skipped a beat, how this man knew her name he had no clue, but he somehow managed to get all the other names right as well. Alex quickly stopped the old man as he said, “Wait, how do you know who we are?”

The old man took off his cowboy hat as he said, “Almost eighty years ago I wrote a couple of stories about your adventures… who knew they actually happened. I am the real Dark-Castle”

Alex’s eyes went wide as he said, “But… you’re old.”

Oscar laughed as he said in a tired voice, “Well without the mask it would be kind of hard to recognize me, besides anyone can look like me with a mask on just look at Kyle Clyde. Back in the old days when I could still grab the soap from the shower floor without throwing out my back, I was writing your adventures and posting them up on the internet before SOPA came back and bit us all in the ass. I remember when I was young I was imagining meeting you girls for real… but I convinced myself that that was impossible. Its too bad I’m too old to get too excited about meeting the real Ponies.”

Alex watched as the fire began to die out, he quickly divided the oxygen atoms above the fire and watched as the hydrogen quickly caught fire. Once the fire was going again, Alex said, “So… why are you here and not in Europe?”

Oscar laughed as he said, “First of all, its Europe is called West Africa, secondly: I am here with a bunch of others like me because we are some of the many remaining bronies, we are fighting against the system to keep our rights to live in our own country.”

Alex began at marvel at the old man, even though he was too old to be forced in the military, he was still fighting for what was right. Alex smiled as he said, “So… how many bronies are there?”

Oscar scratched his beard as he said, “Millions, most of them moved to Africa to stay out of the great war that’s taking place… wait a minute.” Oscar’s eyes widened with shock as he said, “Is earth going where I think it is?”

Mike nodded his head as he said, “Yup, they’re going to ponyworld.”

Oscar began to think as he said, “Alright, well now I know that your mission is top priority, we have to get you to one of the military posts so you can sabotage it.”

Alex shook his head as he said, “We aren’t going to play as dirty as that, we just need to steal some of the blueprints for their weapons and tech.”

Oscar nodded his head as he ran his fingers through his beard (I really want a beard that’s longer than the one I have now okay), as he thought over the situation he said with a smile, “How about you young adventurers stay here with the rest of us for the night, tomorrow you can go when there’s light out.”

Alex shook his hand as he said, “Thanks, old timer.”

*****

Oscar led Alex and Fluttershy up to their room along with Mike and the other two lovers as he said, “This might not be much, but it’s enough to get you through the night.” Oscar slowly placed his hand on the door and pushed it open to reveal a room in mint condition, the lights working fine and the heater on. Alex and Fluttershy slowly walked into the room as Oscar said with a laugh, “Now remember, these walls aren’t too thick so we can hear everything.”

Alex lowered his arm around Fluttershy as he said, “Don’t worry, we’re not that crazy.”

Slowly Oscar closed the door behind him, when they heard the click come from the door Fluttershy turned to Alex and said in her sweet voice, “Alex… I’m scared.”

Alex slowly brought her in for a hug as she changed back into her original Pegasus self. As he kissed her on the forehead he said in a quiet voice, “I’m right here for you.”

Fluttershy slowly wrapped her hooves around him as she said, “But… what if this is the last time we do this… where we sit and just talk? What if I lose you, Alex? I don’t want to lose you, there are so many things I want to do with you.”

Alex began to blush as he said, “Like… what?”

Fluttershy slowly began to inhale, her eyes closing as she gently began to push Alex onto the bed as she said, “Like this.”

Alex began to go tomato red as he whispered, “Right now? I thought you wanted to wait until,”

Fluttershy quickly covered his mouth with hers, muffling his voice with a kiss. Once she broke the kiss she said with a blush, “Just follow my lead.”

*****

Mike was slowly wheeling himself down the hall towards Alex’s room as he said, “Yo, Alex, I need to”

Mike could not finish his sentence, all he could hear from inside Alex’s room was the sound of loud moaning. Mike shook his head as he grasped the door handle while Fluttershy said, “Ouch, that hurts.”

Mike slammed the door open only to hear Alex and Fluttershy squeal, Mike’s jaw dropped as he stared into the room, what he saw was nothing like he expected. In front of him was Alex in a full spandex suit being put into a headlock by Fluttershy, as Alex looked up while moaning he said, “Give us some privacy, we’re wrestling here.”

Mike quickly closed the door as he said, “Sorry, dawg, I was hearing something else going on.”

As Mike closed the door he could hear Alex say, “Pervert.”

When Mike closed the door, he began to wheel away. Yet he was quickly stopped when he heard Fluttershy moan, “Oh… It’s so hot and moist… all over me.”

Mike quickly slammed the door open again as he said, “You sick…” Mike was again stunned by what he saw, he heard right.

In front of him was Alex holding a fountain of Fondue over top of Fluttershy, the warm thick chocolate liquid spilling from her mouth onto her chest as Alex said, “Can’t you give us some privacy, we’re trying to enjoy some fondue here!”

Mike quickly spun around as he silently said, “Kids those days had the most perverted vocabulary…”

Before Mike could get too far he heard Fluttershy squeal as she said, “Oh dear, there’s semen everywhere!”

Mike didn’t even wait, he knew what he heard and it was impossible to misinterpret this. Mike slammed the door open as he said, “Okay now I know you were having se…”

Mike looked into the now crowded room; the room was nearly overstuffed with sailors in white and blue suits, all standing in the upright position. As the stood there, Alex frantically looked around saying, “How did all these Sea Men get in here.” Alex looked up to see Mike with a disapproving look as Alex said, “You pervert…”

The couple watched as Mike slowly wheeled out of the room, closing the door behind him. Once they could no longer hear the sound of his wheels, the holographic images of the sea men disappeared. Alex and Fluttershy laughed silently as Fluttershy said with a wink, “Gee… Pinkie was right, pranks are funny.”

Alex kissed her forehead as he said, “You’re the best.”

*****

I'm sorry im releasing this as a fractured chapter, but i needed to get this scene out. This was just too good for me to keep to myself for so long. Believe it or not, this entire story was built to fit this one joke, if i had not thought of this joke, the whole thing would be different.

Tell me, did this joke beat WYWF2's stereotype joke?