What You Wish For 3: The Book of Earth Pony

* So my birthday is March 11 every year (You don't say?) and I will be turning the big age. Oh yeah im turning seventeen where it will finally be legal for me to drink all I want with a fake ID named McAnal. What i wanted to talk about was how i am going to be really happy to celebrate my birthday in Cancun with my family, but i want you guys to join in on the party in any way you want. And yes while i am in Cancun there will be zero stories being posted the entire week (hope i don't die of boredom) and when i get back its M-rated games alapalooza for me.

Bottom Line, I love you all and I have never been happier to call myself a brony until now. A big shout out to a man named Corey (No last names given) For being the only other brony in my school (as far as i know, i could be one)*

ENJOY THIS OR I WILL MAKE A BUNNY SAD!

The rain poured hard down from the sky onto the wet grass, the white beams of light from the guard tower shined down upon the grass for intruders or jailbirds. Alex and Mike slowly approached the edge of the forest as Alex whispered, “Alright, once I give the signal you are going to get into the suit and create a distraction. Make sure it doesn’t involve taking any clothes off.”

Mike dawned a look of confusion as he said, “Why don’t ya take the suit. Drop their asses like flies.”

Alex shook his head as he said, “First of all, we need to keep this PG, secondly these patients are going through enough mental torment. There are people in there who wouldn’t be able to handle a giant green robot with explosions like you and I can.”

Mike smirked as he whispered, “I bet you’re gonna get caught.”

Alex snickered as he said, “Fine if I get detected, you can shave my hair off.”

Mike couldn’t help but agree as he said, “So what, ya gonna use ninja skills or something?”

Alex nodded his head as he whispered back, “Something along the lines of that.” As he spoke, he slowly began to turn invisible and emerge from the bushes in front of him. He immediately began to whisper in pain, “Ouch, ouch, I hate thorns.”

Mike laughed silently as he said, “So much for ninja.”

Mike wasn’t able to see Alex, but he knew he was being given the death look as Alex whispered in frustration, “Shut up.” Mike watched in amusement as a branch suddenly flicked as Alex nearly shouted, “Oh god, ouch.”

Mike couldn’t help but be entertained as he said, “Even I could do better.”

Alex was ready to just give up as he said, “How about you do the job… okay I’m out of the bushes.” The next thing Mike could hear was Alex slipping on the grass and hitting his head on a rock. The frustrated silent cries of Alex made it clear he would rip Mike apart if he joked any more. Mike watched from the trees as footprints began to form towards the building at the speeds of a running man, the invisible man silently cursing in languages he didn’t know existed.

Alex quickly neared the gate, he looked through the door to see a couple of officers walking out of the building with their umbrellas in their hands. As the door closed he quickly slipped through inside the facility. Alex immediately took off his shoes to avoid squeaking and began to tip toe through the halls, making sure he wasn’t heard by anyone. His head throbbed like it had been hit by a truck as he rounded the corner; his legs were probably bleeding because of the thorns. As he rounded the corner he saw a woman talking on the phone, she was sitting at the desk looking at a holographic computer screen as she talked to one of her friends.

Alex quickly began to tip toe past her towards one of the doors when the worst happened, a metal clamp quickly snapped down onto his toes which made him jump and curse. Alex quickly lost his invisibility as he shouted, “God damn it, my toes! Why the hell do you have mousetraps seventy years in the future?”

The woman behind the desk nearly screamed, she quickly pulled from her desk a small canister and began to spray an orange cloud of dust into Alex’s eyes. Alex screamed in pain as he stumbled back, he quickly caught the edge of his pants and slipped backwards and hit his head on the desk. As Alex was on the floor he shouted, “Come on seriously? Pepper spray? I’m gonna kill”

Before he could finish the woman shouted in fear, “Death threat!” She then pulled what looked like a pistol and fired a small plug at Alex’s crotch. Alex began to scream at the top of his lungs as a huge amount of electricity coursed through his genitals, he squirmed and slammed his hand down on another mousetrap which made him swear even more.

Alex quickly got up as he said through grinding teeth, “Fuck this.” Alex then pointed his arm at the woman and sent a pulse of energy at her; the shockwave sent her over the desk and onto the computer. Alex then turned towards the doors to the patients and blasted them open, his anger was the source of his energy as he stormed down the hallway. As he walked he heard the alarms begin to blare, he slumped his head backwards as he said, “Oh forget me!”

*****

Meanwhile Fluttershy was in her padded cell, her coat wrapping her arms together and prevented her from doing anything violent. She was scared and confused as to how she could be treated like this for taking her shirt off while back in Alex’s times people were paid to get naked. As she sat in her cell she could hear the person across from her saying as loud as possible, “Stay out of my shed! Stay outta my shed!”

As Fluttershy sat there, she wondered when Alex would arrive to help her out and let her change back to a pony. Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her own skin when large slamming began against her door, she watched as the door began to bend and twist out of shape until it simply fell down. Fluttershy jumped up in hopes of seeing a heroic and glowing hero, with hair blowing in the wind. Instead she got a drenched, puffy eyed, smoking haired, enraged Alex. He stood there with the door in his hand, his eyes had swollen nearly shut with the pepper spray and his hair was sticking straight out from static shock.

Fluttershy gently swayed towards him as she said with joy, “Oh Alex I knew you would”

Before she could finish her sentence, Alex picked her up over his shoulder and jerked her around as he said in a growl, “That’s fantastic how about you tell me when were out of here.” As Alex was exiting her room, a guard approached him with his baton in hand. Alex looked at him as he shouted, “Go ahead, hit me! Hit me again Johnny and put some sweet cream on it!”

Alex watched as the guard slowly backed down, Alex nodded as he said, “That’s what I thought.” He then began to walk down the hallway full of shouting prisoners, Fluttershy could swear she saw the top of his head pop off when he shouted in a demonic voice, “Shut up all of you!” Immediately every single patient went silent, needles could be heard dropping it was so silent. Alex then walked out the front door, smashing everything in his direction. Fluttershy watched as the rain immediately boiled into a gas when it touched Alex’s forehead.

*****

Mike looked down at his hand of cards, he then looked back up to see Lyra and Bon-Bon looking down at their cards. Mike had the biggest grin on his face as he said, “Got a king of hearts?”

Lyra planted her card down as she said, “Go fish” The card in her hand was not a king of hearts but rather queen of spades.

Bon-Bon shook her head as she said, “Wait what are we doing?”

Mike began to get a confused look as he said, “I have no idea.”

Suddenly the side of the landed the vessel was torn open to reveal an angry Alex and worried Fluttershy. Alex gently tossed Fluttershy into the plane as he said, “Turn me into Britney Spears doctor! The whole world knows!”

Mike gently put his cards down as he said, “Looks like it, first let’s get Fluttershy out first.”

*****

Fluttershy wrapped herself into the blanket, her hooves wrapped up snugly in the blanket as she watched Alex get his hair cut. Alex’s eyes had begun to open back up and he had cheered up, he finally had a smile on his face. As she watched him get his skull shaved she said, “So you bet your hair that you could free me without being seen?”

Alex shrugged as he said, “Essentially yes, how was I supposed to know there were mouse traps in there.”

Fluttershy giggled as she said with an innocent smile, “Well the good thing is that now we’re back, what are we going to do next?”

Alex looked up at mike as he said with an approving nod, “Well thanks to your genius and sexy plan, we were capable of stealing every blueprint for every vehicle and weapon that the military is using. Now we can go home, after being gone for a bout sixteen seconds in Ponyville.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she said in awe, “Wow, this whole universe thing is weird. I can’t wait to get home and celebrate hearts and hooves day with you.”

As Mike finished Alex’s shave, he removed the towel from his neck as he said, “Welcome private Alex.”

Alex quickly got out of his chair, he then rushed over to pick up Fluttershy and hold her tightly as he said, “No amount of pepper spray could keep me from you.”

Mike laughed as he said under his breath, “How about tazers?”

Alex gently kissed Fluttershy on her forehead, it had felt as though he had not done it in years and it felt rejuvenating to finally hold her again after a crazy adventure. Alex turned around with Fluttershy in his arms as he said, “We get to Kemptville again, you get in the suit and we head back to Equestria.”

*****

Alex leaned back on his chair as he said, “Next thing that happened, we were back in K-ville and walking through the portal to Equestria.”

Twilight slowly raised her head in understanding as she said, “Well that certainly explains everything,” Twilight brushed her dark purple hair from her eyes with her hoof as she said, “I still can’t believe you let Mike shave your head in a bet.”

Alex turned to mike as he said, “I still can’t believe if Mike actually shaved my head.”

As Alex turned around, a large amount of luscious hair that hadn’t been touched flopped onto his chest, right outside his view. Alex turned back to smile at the ponies, having no idea he had one of the ugliest mullets ever. He looked at Celestia and Lauren, whom were resisting the urge to point it out. Alex smiled as he said with glee, “Well I would love to stay and chat, but me and Fluttershy have something to do for tomorrow.”

Alex opened his arms to allow for the yellow pony to gracefully jump into them, immediately planting a kiss on his nose. Fluttershy giggled as she said silently, “Finally we get a break.”

A half hour later, when all the ponies were gone from the library as well as Mike and Lauren, Alex remained in the library’s kitchen cooking up some pasta as he and Spike talked. Alex levitated a bowl over to his pot and poured some warm spaghetti into the bowl as he said, “So Spike, you wanted me for something.”

Spike licked his lips when he was presented with the bowl, he immediately began to dig in on it as he said with a full mouth, “Well as you know, hearts and hooves day is tomorrow. It’s a day where we give gifts to our special someponies, and I need your help with my gift.”

Alex laughed at himself as he said, “That’s cute spike, how old are you again?”

Spike wiped the pasta sauce from his lips as he said, “I’m eighteen years old, I know I’m still a baby.”

Alex shrugged as he said while twirling his fork he crafted from the suit’s metal and said, “That’s about the same age as me, I’m pretty sure you’re old enough to date Rarity.”

Spike quickly jumped onto the table and covered Alex’s mouth as he whispered, “Don’t say it out loud, how did you know it was her?”

Alex looked up at the ceiling as he silently sighed and said, “Because Spike, you are the worst at hiding your feelings. Back to you two getting hooked, you need to take her on a date.”

Spike handed him a small pamphlet as he said, “Already have that covered.”

Alex looked down at it as he read the title out loud, “Bucky Cheese?” Alex looked back up at the purple dragon as he said, “You’re kidding right?” As Alex saw the poor dragon slump in despair he said, “I’m not putting you down, I’m sure if you took Applebloom there she would fall for you in an instant if you got her free cheese pizza. Rarity is a lady of class though, have you ever seen a single mom in one of those places? They look like they want to strangle the life out of someone, so take your date to somewhere where she wants. Like my father always told me, happy wife happy life.”

Spike began to think over a new date before saying with a smile, “How about the arcade?”

Alex winked as he said, “The arcade is for where I show you all up at prance-prance revolution. Here’s a suggestion, take her out to dinner at the finest place in Canterlot and then a play. Oh god putting myself into Rarity’s… shoes, I would have shared our first kiss before we even got home.”

Spike slowly backed away as he said, “Dude, that’s creepy.”

Alex began to motion for Spike to calm down as he said, “All I’m saying is that Rarity has high standards to make sure to go above and beyond. What she expects is the casual dinner at the local restaurant, when she is gifted to tickets to the royal play in Canterlot she will scream with joy.”

Spike smilled from ear (does he even have any) to ear before taking out a small box as he said, “Well see, I want to make it as romantic as possible so could you put on a performance for her?”

Alex looked at the small box containing a diamond necklace before saying, “We’re homies, we do these things for each other. Just be sure she says yes.”

Spike and Alex then did a random secret handshake as Spike said, “No problem, thanks Alex.”