Out of Control

As you lay down on your god awful couch you curse every pony alive and dead and soon to be alive and fuck this world!
Your bed smells like applesex and flowers...
WHERE DOES THIS FUCKING SMELL COME FROM?!?!?!
Tomorrow you have to wash your entire bed to get rid of this smell!

It's been around 5 hours since you had that argument with the tan mare. She sure was angry, you wonder what she's been doing...
It's dark outside. You close your eyes and try to sleep, the couch making it not an easy task.
There is some kind of noise...
What the hell? What bothers you this late?!
You can't sleep with that shit going on, it's too loud!
It sounds like running water. Did you leave the sink open?

You stand up and investigate. The light outside is ignored intentionally, you don't want to see any pony right now...
There is no water running anywhere in your house, the noise gets louder and occasionally a crackling is heard.
The lights outside become brighter, then you smell it!
Something is burning!
You run to your bedroom window.
YOUR FUCKING HOUSE IS BURNING!!!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Evacuate immediately!!!
You grab what you can and jump out of the bathroom window!
Snow is fucking cold. The entire front of your house is already engulfed in flames. You just stand there, looking at the fire as it conquers more and more of your home.
Pinkie will be very angry, very soon...
You can hear sirens in the distance, but it's too late, you've never seen something burn this good.
Suddenly everything turns black, a sack is put over your head. Before you can struggle a knock to the head renders you unconscious.

...
Cold water is splashed all over your body, it wakes you up and you panic.
The attempt to stand up is halted as a iron collar around your neck pulls you back down on the cold stone floor.
It's dark, no, you still have that sack over your head!
You pull the sack off, from the looks you'd guess you're in the cellar of Sweet Apple Acres residence.
A chain links you to the wall, Applejack stands there, or rather tries to stand. She has a bottle of something with her, you can smell the hard liquor she emanates.
She is only illuminated by an oven or something.
“What the fuck, Applejack, stop this crap, it's not funny!”
You pull on the chain, but it's strong enough to hold a bear, then Fluttershy steps into the light. She also doesn't look completely sober.
”I'll takea care this, youuu can...hold him down!” she giggles like a maniac.
You stand close to the wall you are chained to, Applejack stumbles towards you, she is totally smashed. She whips out a lasso and clumsily throws it in your general direction.
After the fifth attempt she gets tired of it.
”Ah'm gunna...do eeet lahk this.”
She hops in front of you and punches you in the stomach hard, you fall to the ground as the wind is knocked out of your lungs. Applejack ties you up and holds you down on your stomach with her weight.
You wish Gilda was here, since she left everything has gone down the drain...
When you look over to Fluttershy you see why Appledrunk holds you down, and you are not happy about it.
“Stop it you two! STOP!”
”Ugh, shaddap. Ah'll shouw everyponnny thet yer AHR ma lovuur!”
Fluttershy closes in with a red glowing iron.
“You guys are drunk, please stop this, you will regret this tomorrow! Listen to me! Please!”
Fluttershy just giggles, Applejack strokes you and whispers in your ear “Tahm t'give yer ye cutie mark!”
She pulls down your boxers and presents the side of your ass, then the hot iron is pushed against your flesh.
You always try to be a man, but this night, you screamed like a little girl...
The procedure feels like an eternity and hurts incredibly.
”Theyt's enough Flutters.”
The hot iron is thrown to the side, it smells like burned flesh. Flutternurse puts some salve on your hurting cheek and straps some bandage cloth over it.
You groan into the floor “You are fucking crazy, now let me go.”
They ignore you ”Iiit wil look sooo cute wen it's helled up, yoau think we culd give him mine next teime...if it's okay with you maybe?”
”Ah'll think bout it.”
Applejack unties the rope, Fluttershy hands you some blankets and then they leave while laughing and joking as if nothing bad happened.
...
After a few half hearted attempts to free yourself you give it up and wrap yourself in.
Even though your ass cheek hurts like hell you quickly fall asleep.

A few hours later you get gently shaken awake.
”Uh...Anon?” it's Applejack...
She frees you from the collar and shakes you a little rougher. You open your eyes.
Applejack still smells like alcohol, she has bags under her eyes and her hair is a mess. And she looks mighty embarrassed.
Awkward silence as you stare at her.
“...Apple-Jack.” you say.
As soon as you speak her name she is all over you. She touches and pats you everywhere like she tries to keep a snowman from melting, knowing it's not possible.
”Ah'm so sorry sugarcube, ah drank too much and everythin' jus' happened in a blur. Oh please tell me ah didn't hurt yer.”
This is ridiculous...
“How much did you drink?”
She looks around the place, deep in thought.
”Ah...dunno.”
You stand up and grab the now cold branding iron, presenting to her the end that forms the outline of her cutie mark.
“Do you remember this?”
She rubs the back of her neck even more embarrassed.
”Well...uh...kinda...ah'm so sorry Anon, ah didn't mean t'hurt yer.”
The branding she gave you isn't what you are angry about, it's the branding she gave to your house...
“Nevermind that, what else do you remember?”
”Uh, ah was drinkin' at the bar with Fluttershy and then we met Rainbow there, we all argued and drank a damn lot. The next thing ah remember is...well.”
She points at the iron.
Altough Applejack is the main suspect, you don't know for sure if she really was it. It could have been Rainbow or Fluttershy just as well.
“I just want to go...”
You want to say home, but knowing it doesn't exist anymore makes it feel wrong.
“...for a morning stroll, and I want you to tag along.” you say stern.
The things you grabbed before the fire did were your clothes, and they are here luckily.
As you walk the stairs up and outside you find yourself in the middle of the apple orchards.
“What IS this? Some kind of secret dungeon?”
”It's the cellar of one of our old barns, ah let it be 'cause...there's no reason t'wreck it.”

On the way back you try to get as much information out of her as possible, but she knows nothing more. You approach the site of your former house, on the paper it's still Pinkie's property...or was.
There is a small crowd gathered.
The house is nothing more than charcoal.
Fuck, where are you gonna sleep from now on?
All your friends and former friends are there.
Everyone was worried sick, the fact that you were nowhere to be found after the fire died down gave them the worst ideas. The reunion was heartwarming, hugs and all.

”You know, you are always welcome to stay in my library again.”
Oh god, better not...
”Oh, oh, oh, you can live with ME! We can share the room and sleep in the same bed and you can party with me all night long!”
She is probably the best friend you have at the moment...
”Or you can just ask me, dear. I'm sure I can spare a room.”
She is also still a good friend of yours...
”You can move in with me...I have plenty of room in my cottage...if you'd like that I mean.”
You'd probably get drugged again...
The four look at Rainbow Dash.
She just shrugs ”What? It's not like he can live with me in Cloudsdale, he's not a pegasus or a griffon.”
As expected she is still damn angry.
Twilight stands next to Applejack, she looks conflicted.
”What's the matter Applejack?” Twilight asks her.
”Ah don't think Anon wants t'live with me anymore.” she says frustrated.
”Why is that? Don't you have plenty of space at Sweet Apple Acres?”
”Ye, sure, but. Ah think t'was me.”
She can't be serious!
She covers her mouth with her stetson ”Ah bur-”
No time to think, you tackle her to the ground. She's as surprised as she can get.
You shout in an exaggerated act “What do you mean? I'm not a BUR-den, I'll help you where I can!”
All ponies are confused as you pull Applejack with you behind a corner quickly and shout-whisper at her “Are you still fucking drunk?! You can't tell them that you did it!”
”But t'was ME, ah can't lie to them, they're mah friends!”
You can't believe that the remaining 1% of you that still cares for the tan mare got the upper hand...
“Then shut up and leave that to me! You can't fucking tell them, Pinkie Pie will lynch you!”
You drag her back to the small crowd.
“So, yeah. Haha. Applejack is still angry at me, sorry about that, you don't have to be dragged into THAT.”
You give them the most innocent grin and a shrug you have, Rarity rolls her eyes and elicits a sigh...
”Okay, but where will you stay from now on?” Twilight asks.
“I can just rent something here in Ponyville, it's no big deal, I have some money left.”

Some smalltalk later Pinkie catches you on a lone moment as you dig through the charred remains of her house/your home.
”Anon, I'm so glad nothing happened to you!” she says serious.
Yeah, then take a look at my ass!
“You said that a thousand times now Pinkie. I'm sorry about the house, I must have left a candle burning somewhere, it's my fault.” you can't believe it, Applejack better has something good for up her sleeve to compensate you for all this...
Pinkie looks like in deep thought, then she jumps under your shirt and sticks her head out right in front of yours, her breath is sweet, must be all those candies.
”I have a IDEA!” you don't like that naughty giggling she does ”Sugarcube Corner sure is cramped, how sounds buying a house together? That way you can repay me half the house and the rest is payed in...massages...” she flutters her eyelids seductively and grins broad.
It doesn't sounds bad at all actually, except that she frames you fully for the burned house...
You take it, like a man, on the chin...
...
“Okay, we can do that.” you say after a long thinking pause.
”Okey-Dokey-Lokey! Meet me at Sugarcube Corner later!”
She speeds off like a rocket. There is still something you have to do.
You grab Fluttershy out of some bushes as she is watching you and carry her in your arms like a spouse.
”Oh Anon, not here.” she squirms lightly in your arms, but your stern expression makes her shut up. She knows what's coming...
Then you got to Rainbow Dash which is conveniently talking, or rather arguing, with Applejack. Fluttershy holds on to you as you try to put her back down.
Whatever.
“You three...”
One raised eyebrow from the tan mare, crossed arms and an angry look from the cyan Pegasus and Fluttershy just snuggles you some more. You are the seriousness in person.
“...I want to know what happened yesterday eveni-”
Rainbow suddenly has an expression like you caught her red handed with something real bad.
Suddenly she dashes right at you, a split second later you are spinning inside a mini rainbow tornado. Every orientation you ever had leaves the boat
Fluttershy screams/squeaks in your arms “AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
When you stop turning you are so disoriented you can't even sit. Rainbow is nowhere to be seen and Fluttershy also flees with numerous corkscrews in her flight path. You lie on the ground, it feel like the world is a rollercoaster.
”Anon? Yer okay sugarcube?”
“Uhhh, what was THAT?” you ask groggy
”Turns out t'was Rainbows idea, she didn't think we'd really pull it off though.”
“Applejack!” you say pleading.
”Huh?”
“How the hell am I supposed to EVER make up with her again?!”

Later that day:
You enter Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie jumps circles around you while talking happy gibberish. You pick her up in the middle of a jump and shake her like mad. She is like jelly, waves cascade along her body while she giggles nonstop!
”AhAhAhAhAhAnOhOhOhOhOn!”
When you think she had enough you hold her in your arms, she pants heavily from all the laughing.
Her light blue eyes, a little teary from your assault, stare at you. She lays an arm around your neck and pulls your faces a bit closer.
Those are definitely bedroom eyes...
Her second arm connects with the first behind your neck and her face comes closer slowly, but steadily.
You place your hand on her tummy and give her a little belly rub, at least that's what she perceives. You also keep her at distance like this.
“Pinkie, what about the house?” you ask after a little while.
That snaps her out of it!
”Oh! Yes! Follow me!”
Pinkie leads you to a casual Ponyville house, two minutes away from Sugarcube Corner. It has the typical timber-frame architecture and a distinct thatched roof and the upper floor is overhanging.
Altough it's a little bigger than the average houses...

“This is it?”
”Yep, it's peeeeerfect for the three of us!”
“Okay then, how much will wait a moment, three?”
You know that Pinkie is the chubbiest out of the mane six, but her figure is one of her weak spots, she'd never make a joke about it!
“Pinkie?”
”Hmm?”
You point at her.
“One.”
You point at yourself.
“Two.”
And raise a brow.
Pinkie points behind you.
”Three!” she says with a laugh.
You turn around, Mr. Greenhooves stops and looks at you puzzled.
You scream inside.
Your finger points at him and you give Pinkie an even more puzzled look.
”Not him you silly filly.”
She jumps on your back and points at a pony that walks towards you from behind Mr. Greenhooves, who is moving on, pulling his cart along.
”HER!” she almost shouts.
Wow, that mare is huge, she is even a little bigger than you. Her coat has a pale, light grayish gold, almost like your skin. Her mane & tail are striped cobalt and azure blue.
”Her name is Allie Way and she asked me for a place to live JUST AN HOUR AGO! Can you BELIEVE it?! The house would be a little too big and a little too expensive for just two, but with her it ALL adds up!”
You save your protests for after you meet her, maybe she is okay...

As Allie Way comes closer you can see her blue eyes and her cutie mark, three art deco stars, two pink and one blue, she also wears a black and purple themed shirt, oh, and she's a unicorn, almost missed that detail.
It's actually the first pony you see that wears clothes casually...
She comes to a halt right in front of you and extends a hoof, you grab it and give her a decent shake.
”Ah! Hello, I'm Allie Way, you must be Anonymous the human, right? Nice to meet you.”
Nice.
“That is right, I'm Anonymous, you can call me Anon. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
”Aaaaaaall riiiiiiight!” Pinkie cheers, “Let's go inside and SEAL the DEAL!”

Inside a serious business pony sits on a table, reading some papers. He looks up from them and eyes the three of you as you enter.
Apart from a single wooden table and a chair there is no furnishing.
”Alright Fillies and Gentlecolts, all I need are your signatures and the house is all yours.”
You still don't know how much it's gonna cost you...
He presents you three pieces of paper.
”I need your signatures on page 1, 3, 49, 310 and for page 666 I need your hoofprints in your own blood.”
“What?!” you say shocked.
”Aha! Only joking! Hahaha.” he stands up and laughs his ass off.
Pinkie giggles and pokes his stomach “That was a good one!”
The two of them laugh like there is no tomorrow. Allie Way and you look at each other with equally blank expressions. Somehow this makes you happy.
The realtor wipes a tear and clears his throat ”No really, there is only one page for each of you. Please make sure to read the contract before signing.”
The contract is easy to understand, actually it's little more than a declaration of consent that he will deduct the money over the course of two months.
And for buying a house it's damn cheap, your share is 220 bits in total. And you know what stetson wearing pony is gonna pay for it...

The next day comes quickly. Pinkie is the only one who has stuff that needs moving, neither Allie Way nor you have anything.
You walk around the house.
The upper floor has two large rooms and a bathroom, the ground floor is a kitchen-living room mix much like your/Pinkie's old house, except there is a junk room that Pinkie has already occupied with Party equipment.
You just hope she isn't going to overdo it with the parties.
But first problems first. There are only three rooms, and only two of them qualify...
”...as bedrooms, one is for Allie and the other one we will share.” Pinkie turns away, hiding her expression from you as she finishes the sentence.
There goes your privacy...
“Apropos Allie, did you really offer a complete stranger to live with us? I mean, I don't have a problem with her, but-”
”She's not a stranger! She was a guest at One-Hundred-Twenty-Two parties I threw until now. And this evening it's gonna be the One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Third time!”
“House warming party?” you ask bland.
”House warming party.” she says flat.
“Okay, but back to the matter at hand-”
Pinkie interrupts you ”You mean at HOOF!”
She jumps up and gestures you to follow.

Destination: Bedroom.
You expected a fancy pink and tawdry room, but it looks quite acceptable.
No balloons, no lollypop wallpaper and no streamers flying around. Pinkie jumps on the huge bed, oh god, it's huge!
You've never seen her this shy ”I tried to furnish it in your taste, although I don't know what you like...”
She scrunches her face and looks at you with big blue eyes, you can see a light blush...
Oh god, the cuteness, it's killing you!
The huge bed is two-colored, split in the middle. One side is obviously meant for Ms. Pie and the other, less colorful side is probably yours.
She really put effort into it.
You sigh “Alright.”
Pinkie explodes with joy.
Well, at least that solves some minor issues...

-Afternoon-
The party is great. You chit-chat a little with Rarity while drinking punch.
But there are two factors that unnerve you:
1. The punch is full of alcohol.
2. Applejack has her fifth cup of punch.
3. Applejack is talking idly with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and even Twilight.
They glance over to you occasionally and giggle.

Pinkie is trying to get Allie to dance, she is much more antisocial than you expected. But that's not a problem, many expectations weren't met today. Maybe if you expect Applejack to assault you, she will, in a magical way, not do it?
Yeah, dream on.

Pinkie comes over to you ”Hey Anon! Enjoying yourself?”
“It's hard to not do that on one of YOUR parties.” you give her the pistols.
”Oh you're such a sweet talker. Could you please please please dance with Allie? She's anxious about embarrassing herself. I'll also ask Twilight!”
That pone...
You look over to Allie, she sure looks reluctant, even though there are lots of ponies already dancing.
Oh shit, Lyra dances on two legs, that looks hilarious!
“Okay, why don't you get everyone? That way I don't embarrass myself so much.”
”Okey-Dokey-LOKEY!”
You grab Allie and drag her in the middle of the dancing crowd.
”No! No! No! I never danced before! I'm going to make myself a laughing stock!” she says desperate.
Pinkie pops up “There's nothing bad about making ponies laugh, TRY IT!”
You swear you saw Allie dance at several occasions in the past...
Anyway, you start. Allie works hard on suppressing her laughter shortly after.
Then you make one of your super combos and she can't hold it in.
“Come on, dance. Or I'll do it again!” you threaten her.
And that's the story of how you got Allie to dance. Weird, she doesn't dance half bad. In contrary to you of course, every pony that looks at you has at least a huge smug grin on their faces.
If you could get convicted for bad dancing, you'd be on the moon for a millennium in no time!
But you can't, so you don't give a fuck.

Allie is now enjoying herself greatly.
Berry Punch is doing her drunken Master dance style.
Where is...?
Twilight isn't dancing, weird, she likes dancing. She sits on the sidelines and is deep in thought, brooding over something. She isn't even laughing one bit when she sees you.
You dance your way over to her “Hey Twilight, what's wrong? Don't wanna dance? Maybe you can teach me a move or two?”
She frowns.
“Twilight?” you ask her and stop dancing.
She nods to Allie ”I don't like her Anon, she seems weird. She is giving me the creeps.”
“Allie? What do you mean? She's just a little anxious, give her a chance.”

Twilight doesn't want to, she tells you that she has a real bad feeling about her, what a party pooper...
Later every pony that stayed got smashed like usual, it's like an unwritten law. Berry is a feisty one!
Surprisingly, Applejack gives you just a long intimate hug and takes her leave.
Pinkie is sleeping on the table, Allie didn't drink and found retreat in her room before it got out of hand.
Lyra and Bon Bon are sleeping in the corner.
Berry is sprawled out in the middle of the room where the dancefloor was.
Even Nurse Redheart, you place her on the couch, for old times sake.
Just good you kept it low with the drinking, looking all over the place, you feel like an asshole for just making Redheart comfortable.
You know, you have a reeeeeeeally huge bed again...
That could earn you some small favors maybe...
15 minutes later you lay down, you spoon your favorite nurse in a bed filled with drunken ponies.
Just as planned...