The Wonderous Misadventures of Doctor Whooves

It was a wonderful night for stargazing. The air was without a single sound, and Ponyville was blissful and serene. Not a single Cutie Mark Crusaders "nighttime experimental expedition" to be seen. Twilight relished in how convenient it was that she'd find an open spot in her packed schedule on such a brilliant evening. Why, the euphoric moment of taking in yet another spectacularly crafted starscape by Princess Luna almost went uninterrupted by the careening object soaring through the skies uncontrollably...almost.

The bright streak blazing through the cloudless air was caught quickly by Twilight's vision, and upon further inspection through her telescope, it certainly wasn't a meteorite. In fact, it looked to have a definitive box-like shape, but that was hard to prove though the mask of flames it maintained as it continued its course for ground. Her curiosity forced her to keep a firm gaze of fascination locked on the mysterious object all the way until it hit the ground. A burst of light came from around the area of where it struck. After about a second, she realized the location where the craft, or package, or ship, or whatever it was hit. Sweet Apple Acres. "Spike!" the lavender unicorn shouted as she galloped frantically around her tree home, readying for first contact.

Oh no. This isn't good. Oh nonononononono. Something had gone terribly wrong in The Doctor's regeneration process. While he was still cooking, he crossed into another dimension through a riff created by the sudden energy shift that took his previous form's life. Thankfully, it sealed itself up as quick as it was opened due to the laws of the space-time continuum.  However, that was not the problem at hand. Instead, it was that the problem at hand was actually the problem at hoof.

It was a shame, really. He'd just gotten used to having fingers and hands again, too. Although, hooves was better than being a pure mass of recently exploded energy. "Beeping. Where's that beeping coming from? Oh-oh I can hear, that's good, but where's that beeping...ah! The coordinate display. I'm...falling. Lovely. Gotten quite used to that. Okay, I am falling...rapidly!" He pulled down a series of levers and fiddled with various buttons whilst talking to himself. "Alright, I've fallen rapidly before. It's not fun, but I can do it. It's um, um, this...this thing controls the altitude right? No...it's uh...it's oh bloody hell I'm screwed..." Unfortunately, the memories part of his brain hadn't quite fully developed yet, and at such an opportune time as well. Now was not the time to pout, now was the time, for action! It was time to-smash. ...hit the ground.

Applejack awoke to the sound of Winona barking her throat hoarse. (A/N: HA SEE WHAT I DID THERE WITH THE PUNS AND THE HOARSE BECAUSE THEY'RE PONIES WHICH ARE HORSES AND oh fuck you guys that was funny) She was an early riser, that's for sure, but 2:14 A.M. was just too early. "Aw horsefeathers, Winona. Will yah quit yappin'?" She rolled herself off her bed and glared at the dog. Winona whimpered a little, before AJ scratched her ear and the sad demeanor was gone. Almost instantaneously, she was back to her previous actions; barking.

Now Applejack noticed though, she was barking out the window. Specifically, barking towards something. 2:15 A.M., dark out, Winona barking, so she added two and two together and came to the somewhat logical conclusion.

Someone was robbing Sweet Apple Acres.

"Whoo...been a while since I've been in a good crash..." a messy and dirty Doctor Whooves climbed out of the TARDIS and fell to the grass. He opened his eyes and stared into the bright milky moon above him. He couldn't help but let a smile come across his face. The Doctor felt it was a wonderful night to be crashing into fields. Whooves couldn't help but feel a craving. It'd been a long time since he'd had a craving, but now it came back to him how awesome it felt. Right now he had a craving for...apples. He sat up onto his haunches. The Doctor surprised himself with how well he'd adjusted to being a pony so fast. He took a good, long look around. Sweet merciful God, there were rows and rows of apple trees.

"I'm in heaven." He quickly galloped over to one of the many trees. Now was the perfect time for our resident time pony to remember that he couldn't get them. After a few quick, hopeless jumps at various branches, yielding equal amounts of failure, he remembered that useful tool of his, the sonic screwdriver. A few blasts of it towards the trunk ended up with a few apples on the floor in front of his feet- er - hooves. The delicious-looking red fruit seemed to glimmer just as it would during day time in the Moon's vanilla glow. He took a big chunk of the apple with a large bite.

The Doctor spat it right back out onto the green immediately. "Blimey, that's bad. I hate apples. I've never liked apples, taste utterly terrible." Stomping on it with one of his forehooves for extra effect, he walked away. "Well...this is a farm. I'm sure they have more than one crop on a farm." Whooves' eyes scanned as best as they could in the darkness. Thankfully, the sonic screwdriver saved him once more. Setting it to another function, a scan overlay popped out and began to cover what was in its path with a holographic layout which bore resemblance to a grid, taking readings. "Aha! Carrots!"

30 seconds later...

"Bah, that's terrible. I hate carrots, always hated 'em. Just orange sticks coming out of the ground really."

Another 30 seconds later...

"Bloody hell that's awful! Aw man, corn's just the worst. It's all yellow and knobby and...and...just ew."

This carried on for quite some time.

Twilight found herself at the door of the second-to-last of her friends' houses. She'd managed to gather up Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, much to all of their dismay. After explaining to them the potentially deadly situation though, they all understood. The last stop on the tour of potential salvation was Fluttershy. The purple unicorn brought her hoof to the door and knocked. She was greeted after a few moments by a visibly tired and angry Angel.

"Oh, hello Angel. Could you get Fluttershy for me?" Twilight asked. The offer was met with a shake of the head representing no and a door slammed in her face. She sighed, and teleported the four of them inside. While she had the ability to do it in the first place, she liked to maintain some manner of politeness and courtesy. The group made their way up the stairs and to Fluttershy's room, where she was fast asleep. "Fluttershy...Fluttershy wake up...Fluttershy..." Twilight half-whispered to her.

"Fluttershy, wake up!" shouted Rainbow Dash. The other three shot her an angry glare, which she returned an embarrassed grin and shrug to. The yellow pegasus in question shot up with a start gasping for breath, before she caught her friends in her vision.

"Oh, it's just you guys. What are you doing here at this hour? If-if you don't mind me asking..." Fluttershy questioned them. While she was the Element of Kindness, she didn't really appreciate being woken up at 3 in the morning.

"There's an emergency at Sweet Apple Acres! Some strange object crashed down into what was I'm pretty sure one of the orchards, and Applejack could in danger!" Pinkie explained rather quickly and enthusiastically.

Fluttershy gasped, and then said, "No! We've gotta help her right away!" with a determined look on her face. She bolted out of the room and was almost out the door before Twilight managed a quick teleportation spell while she was still in her range. The gang appeared at Sweet Apple Acres quickly. "Oh...r-right..." the yellow pegasus said with a blush on her face, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I could really go for some fish fingers and custard right now. Wait, does that even exist here? More importantly, do ponies even eat fish, let alone meat? Man, that would suck." The Doctor said as he paced around the various plants. He'd exhausted every vegetable and fruit available in the hopes of satisfying his hunger, each to no avail. For a farm, the food sucked. He really hoped that it wasn't the only supplier in the area. Despite that, he had greater issues at the moment. The Doctor needed to look at least somewhat presentable if he was going to be in a strange universe. After all, there was a reputation for him and Time Lords to uphold, even if there was only one left.

Does this place even have clothes? I mean I'm a horse, so I don't think I need anything to wear but I gotta have something. Just like a tie maybe. Yeah...a bow tie, that won't make me stand out too much. That stuff back at the TARDIS certainly wouldn't'v-shit...the TARDIS. He frantically looked from side to side. To the Time Lord's dismay, Whooves hadn't exactly watched where he was trotting during his thoughts. His self-disappointment rung out loud, "Gah-I'm a blithering fool!" and he smacked himself in the head with his right forehoof. "Wait...wait, wait, wait," he paced between two apple trees and thought to himself. It was a new model. It was a new model!

"Of course! The engines will be phasing soon and that means I can just follow the sound. I couldn't have stumbled too far...could I?" the breakthrough out-loud was soon met with the sudden intake of the sheer size of this orchard. There were probably enough apples here to feed an entire kingdom. The Doctor couldn't help but let his jaw unhinge a bit. He said half-heartedly, "W-w-well uh...I'm sure a blue police box will stick out against all these trees. Especially the crater." With that, Whooves continued his trot through the fields, hoping for the best.

The countless fruit-covered pillars seemed to go on for forever. Even an experienced space traveler like himself couldn't decipher where exactly he was. Of course, there was the occasional empty bucket lying around, but besides that 15 feet east looked exactly like 15 feet west. Or south. Or north. Or southeast. Or Vwooom. What the... Another Vwooom The earth stallion's mind clicked. "Aha! The engines!" He took off in almost a full gallop towards where he heard it from. Dodging tree after tree and bobbing and weaving between obstacles, he soon found himself at his landing-er-crashing sight. The TARDIS was there just like when he left it: half-covered in dirt, sticking out at a weird angle, but now emitting a bright glow from inside every three or so seconds. Never before had The Doctor been so happy to see his baby.

"Ah, yes, okay. We've established contact with the TARDIS. Now it's probably best if I take her to that Moon up there. Is that a moon? Yeah, yeah it looks like a moon," he said to himself as he walked over and cleared bits of earth off it. "After that, I should probably try to establish contact with the locals. Locals...are there any locals here?"

"Yer darn tootin' there are."

"Huh?" was all the Time Lord could say before he felt like two bricks struck the side of his head and he went tumbling to the ground in darkness.