Chapters 6 days, 23 hours and 57 minutes, almost exactly 1 week. I’ve been stuck here in this place of fucking ponies. A bronies dream, right? Hell even I have had a few convictions about what I would do if I woke up in Equestria, visiting the mane six, but no here I am sat alone in the Everfree forest watching my phone countdown to midnight, got to be honest with you... Equestria sucks, really think about it, you wake up either as well, you and you’re stuck in a land of ponies, and well we human have our needs in more than one way. Food, I like me some vegetables but it needs meat and ponies don’t eat meat. Lack of technology, we humans have become way too reliant on the TV. Toilets, I haven’t really had too much of a problem with this so far I’ll tell you why in a bit. Prepare yourself, the elephant in the room is about to be addressed, wait for it... Sex, yes sex think about it the only thing to well, fuck are ponies and gryphons last I checked that it beastiality (You know that actually the correct spelling bestiality, I didn’t) and that is, umm bad, so ye don’t do it. And I know the weird part of the bronies that would love to have that opportunity and frankly they scare me, a lot.
But anyway the other thing that could happen is you wake up as a pony and well this provides more problems and I’m kind of stuck in this position, I’m actually stuck in a worse position.
“Fuck you Celestia and your hate for changelings!” Yeah I’m a changeling, have been for a week now, can’t leave the Everfree unless more then likely I’ll be cut down where I stand or worse. What’s that ‘why don’t I just turn in to a pony I mean I am a changeling, right?’ WRONG! That’s one of the problems with waking up as a pony (Or changeling) you have to learn to walk all over again, and it's really hard. I mean it doesn’t seem too bad I’ve seen horses and dogs walking about before, and it is a simple thing to get going but after 22 years of walking on two legs you get use to it, then trying to add two more legs is a pain! Took me four days to get the walking thing down. It’s hard to explain why it so hard, instinct I think, but that’s the easy bit I also need to learn how to fly WITH bug wings. I don’t know how bug fly with these things, three days and all I’ve achieved is a felling of what I think Scootaloo feels every time she... well does anything, complete and utter failure! Huh that was kind of harsh. Well anyway the whole magic thing is way beyond me right now so, ye so no shape shifting for now.
But in this whole week was not just spent learning to walk and fail, I did find Ponyville and it’s a lot bigger that the show gives it credit for, also build a camp to you know to not die. It’s working so far.
So here I am stuck in Equestria as a changeling who can’t fly, change or use magic yet somehow I still have my iPod and phone with no signal, imagine my surprise, I barely know how to walk, can't run very fast yet and have a circle of stones as my 'campsite'.
“Worst week ever.” And I still needed to find a source of food, well love, at this point I had no idea how I was still alive a week without food, both the actual food and love. It feels like I’m part of some shitty fanfic. “Wait a minute... Nah just my imagination.” (Shhh, don’t tell him, he’ll never know) The effects of lack of love were not noticeable for the whole week and now I was starting to feel a little ‘empty’ it's kind of weird getting hungry without getting hungry, it’s not like it would be normally as a human, it was more like just starting to feel empty, like everything inside just started draining away, weaker, it was a faint felling for now probably cause I haven’t done any magic or shape shifting. Fucking double edged sword that, I need to shape shift to get in to Ponyville to ‘feed’ but to shape shift I needed too ‘feed’. See the problem? So like I said I’m sat here waiting for the week in Equestria to become official.
“Four, three, two, one. Yey.” Couldn’t have said that more sarcastically if I tried and trust me I did, but there we are one whole week in Equestria, one week in hell. Still hate this place, I don’t even know if I can get home, I really want to, its all I truly want. Letting a rather heavy sigh escape my lips I came to the conclusion that I need to learn to shape shift, just like I did after I learn't to walk, I gave up then more than likely will now too.
“So let’s get to this.” I said as I clambered to my feet, ugh hooves, that’s kind of hard to get use to as well. Also if you’re wondering who I’m talking to, it's me, I have a habit of doing that, gets me in trouble a few times when I can’t hold my tongue. Looking at the ground with my phone now beginning its count in to a seconded week here and my iPod currently turned off, those thing still have a shit battery life, my refection was clear in the blank screen of the iPod, those green orbs staring back at me, at this black figure that wasn’t me but at the same time was, a small horn atop my head , I hate being a changeling, Equestria hates you and I can’t change. Letting another sigh leave my lips I closed these green orbs for eyes and just thought of a pony, any pony, it was a simple idea but it’s the best I got, slightly peeking out of one eye that same face still was there closing my eye again I redoubled my efforts, it was turning in to a repeat of what happened last time, but I was hoping the need to change now would make a difference, so far not at all, peeking out the same eye again I still saw that face looking back, with a grunt of defeat I opened both eyes to just look at myself, what I wouldn’t give to just be someone else, hell even somepony else but those green eyes just kept taunting me at my defeat.
“Please just change, anything will do. Even Twist! No scratch that I'm not that desperate, yet.” Closing my eyes again I just let my mind go blank, a special skill only men seem to have mastered, no pleas, no picture, nothing I just went numb, it was kind of nice for a while, but the peace was interrupted as one lone image wormed it’s way in to my mind, one lone pony and colt to be specific, huh kind of weird now that I think about it sounds to, umm foal-fooler-ry, never mind it wasn’t in a weird way. The colt was a solid white with a golden short mane and tail, bright blue eyes and a stubby horn atop it head. For a while there was nothing but that image in my head and nothing around me no sounds, no smells but that all changed with a loud crack followed by a ‘woof’ of flames, snapping my eyes open to look around me trying to find the source of the noise I noticed everything was bigger. No not bigger just higher, looked at from a lower angle, then it hit me like a ton of bricks whipping my head around to look at my iPod those green orbs finally were nowhere to be found just two infinite blue eyes, that were in all honesty not to pretty but after a week of only seeing a green sheet for your eyes anything is a nice change, a welcome change, for the first time in a week there was hope for me a small slither of hope but it was there. I don’t know how long I was sat there staring at my new form just looking at the blue eyes as time went on my eyelids became heavy and slid shut with little effort and as sleep took me for the first time that week I slept peacefully.
This is going to be so much fun, after I woke up this morning, still as that little white colt, it's weird, go to sleep as a human a week ago wake up as a changeling, go to sleep last night as a colt. It's been a long week, and I still hate Equestria, but that might all change today. For today is the day I hit the town of Ponyville, I’ve got my iPod and phone stuffed in my mane, I know but then again I am in a cartoon world to, so cartoon logic, right? Any way I’m off to Ponyvile to enjoy the day, today will be awesome.
So there I stood at the edge of the tree line just staring down at that village, eyes wide, for the first time since coming to Equestria I could ‘brony’ it up. So not waiting another second I let excitement get the better of me I ran down the hill, totally forgetting I still couldn’t run very well yet, so of course I tripped and fell and rolled down that grassy hill, and I just laughed, kind of felt nice to actually laugh again, but like all good things, the hill came to an end and with it my fun. I came to a stop resting on my back hooves in the air.
“Ha, forgot how much fun that can be!” It’s true rolling down a hill it’s fun, no matter how old you get.
“Oh my, are you alright?” A voice with concern thick within in it, I think anyone who has watched My Little Pony knows that voice, Fluttershy.
“Oh, umm yeah. I’m fine.” I said as a rolled on to my stomach with a huge grin on my face, how could you not. It’s Fluttershy! And she was stood right in front of me, finally Equestria is starting to look up, she was just peeking from behind her mane with what worry was left draining from her face with a sigh of relief.
“Oh thank goodness, I was worried that you hurt yourself, I just don’t know what I would do if you where.” D’aww Fluttershy is worried about me, it is such a fuzzy felling talking to Fluttershy, I wonder if it’s like this with the entire mane six Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie Pie... Pinkie Pie! How could I forget?
“Well I’m fine, thank you for asking. Is Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner?” I had to have a Pinkie Pie party, had to, you know what they say ‘Ain’t no party like a Pinkie Pie party!’
“Umm, yes she is, she is working there. Why?” She tilted her head to the side and her mane fell away from her face, it was all I could do to stop myself from having an out load D’aww moment, but for now I had a pink pony to meet.
“Thanks Fluttershy!” Without a second thought I turned to bolt away to get my Pinkie party, but before I could that same timed voice had one last question.
“Excuse me, how do you know my name? If you don’t mind telling me.” Oh crap, I’m a really bad changeling aren’t I? Think of something anything, any valid excuse!
“Well, umm you’re famous?” Said that as more of a question that a statement.
“Oh I suppose.” Fluttershy was soooo adorable she was blushing and kicking at the ground trying to hide behind her mane. And now I can go get my Pinkie party.
“Well I’m going now, bye.” I should have left then and there but I couldn’t I had one last thing to do, and in a second I wrapped my forelegs around her neck for a hug, how could I not? It’s Fluttershy! And with that done I walk or trotted toward Ponyville proper, leaving what I can only imagine as a very confused Fluttershy behind me, as I walked to Ponyville my eyes started to absorb the sights, the birds flying around the morning sky, filly’s and colt’s playing, ponies laying around enjoying the sunny day with barely a cloud in the sky. My eyes were filled with the sound of laughter and the birds singing, for the most part it would have been a normal day for this small town, but little do you know a changeling is happy waltzing through town, but the peace of the was interrupted really loudly by those three filly’s. You know the ones.
“CUTIE MARK CURSADER BUGGY RACERS!!!” Good god that was load, I know in the program they are, but they are on the other side of the park and it still left a ringing in my ears. After my hearing started to clear of that infernal ringing I scanned around looking for the three filly’s, but I didn’t really need to, I that everyone else were all looking in the same direction, so following their gaze I found them, sat atop a hill with what I could only presume was a buggy, only cause the shouted it that was what they were doing, in all honesty that thing look like a accident waiting to happen.
“Got to see how this turns out.” And I was off trying to run up the hill, I say trying for a reason it was slow and wobbly, but it was getting me to the top of the hill, as I got closer I could hear the three talking.
“Oh come on it’s not the scary!” Said the orange pegasus. Scootaloo. “What are you chicken?” Ha the irony.
“Ya’ get on Sweetie!” The earth pony demanded.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Asked the white unicorn, she look very skeptical of the buggy, and for good reason, now that I was closer I could see the thing was even worse then I first thought, there were two back wheels of different size and one looked a little bent out of shape at the front was a single wheel smallest of the three, there looked to be no way of steering the thing and the wooden plank they would sit on was rotten, Sweetie Belle that thing is far from safe.
“You don’t trust us?” Scootaloo asked faking been hurt.
“Ye’, when we ever been wrong?” Apple Bloom I could answer that with a list a page long.
“Ok, just can we take it slow at first?” Wait really she’s getting on, I though Sweetie Belle was the smarter of the three, ‘pparently not.
“No can do.” Scootaloo said pulling some goggles over her eyes that where resting on her head. “We’re getting out cutie marks today Crusaders!” No you’re not. “Let’s go, Apple Bloom do it!” Pointing a hoof at the yellow earth pony, with a nod from Apple Bloom she grabbed a piece of rope in her mouth and pulled on it, pulling away a wedge of wood from one of the wheels the ‘death machine on wheels’ slowly started to roll away with three filly’s onboard, all with different levels of enthusiasm, I’ll let you work out who’s more excited.
“Now Scoots!” Apple Bloom called out, Sweetie Belle covered her face with her hooves, Scootaloo started flapping her wings, with a buzzing filling the air, as the speed of the buggy increased. Now is probably a good time to say that at first I wanted them to crash cause it would be funny as hell, but now not so much. It would be even funnier!
As the buggy rolled down the hill, still getting faster as Scootaloo flapped her wings and as the hill got steeper, as it got further away I had to follow, I needed to see how this ended. As I was ‘running’, I hesitant to call it that but can’t think of anything else to call it, I could hear the voice of Sweetie Belle saying something about slowing down I couldn’t make it out exactly, but it was along those lines, after that I could hear Apple Bloom say something but by this point they were too far away to make out anything, and just how far away became very apparent once I finally reached the top of the hill, they were nearing the bottom which was marked by a thick hedge row.
“That’s going to hurt.” I couldn’t help myself my face it was like all :D What? I know it’s mean but come on they’ve been through worse, remember the zip lining incident? Just as I predicted... Ok hoped, the buggy went ploughing in to the hedge and disappeared in amongst all the branches, I needed to be closer so I walked down the hill, remembering what happened last time and though it was fun this hill did have a hedge at the bottom and I was not joining the CMC in that hedge.
As I reached the bottom of the hill, approaching the crash site was now much clearer than it was at the top, the buggy was shattered, the back wheels where ripped from the frame splintering and splitting the wood the three filly’s were just emerging from the wreck.
“That was AWESOME!” Scootaloo practically jumped out of the hedge, half scarring me to death, the mane and tail were filled with branches and leaves, her wings were a mess with feathers crocked and jutting out at improper angles, and the googles were now missing, probably lost in the hedge, where else would they be?.
“Ah know!” Apple Bloom was beaming a happy smile only out done by Scootaloo’s. “Any luck girls?” She asked looking back to Sweetie Belle who was now crawling out of the hedge, she wasn’t so happy as the other two.
“I told you that wasn’t safe.”
“Oh come on Sweetie Belle, it was good fun.” Scootaloo defended sat on the grass pulling the branches out of her mane and tail.
“Ye’. Whilst it lasted at least.” Apple Bloom was looking at a still blank ass. “Shoot still no cutie mark!” The smile on Apple Blooms face was knocked down a few notches but still visibly there.
“Yeah, same for me.” Scootaloo said looking at her ass, I’ve got to stop calling it that sound weird when talking about kids, Scootaloo said looking at her flank, better? Now both pegasus and earth pony now looked at the white unicorn. “Who are you?” What you thought I was talking about Sweetie Belle? Well I wasn’t.
“Me? I’m ugh... Um that guy from over there.” I pointed my hoof at the top of the hill. I had no idea that I would be asked my name, yeah I’m a really bad changeling. How did I not see this coming?!
“Huh, well ok. What your name?” Apple Bloom asked scepticism in her voice and on her face. Was I really going to let three fucking kids find me to be a changeling? No.
“My name is...” looking around, I needed inspiration, there was nothing just grass, sky and the thorn hedge row... Thorn Row, could do worse. “It’s Thorn Row.” I said with a sheepish grin. They all just stared at me, even Sweetie Belle was looking at me now, this isn’t working.
“Ok Thorn Row. Are you new here Ah’m Apple Bloom,” She pressed a hoof to her chest while puffing it out. “That’s Sweetie Belle,” She pointed at the corresponding pony. “And that there is Sco...”
“Scootaloo I know.” FUCK! Done that twice now. Really, really bad changeling.
“How do you know my name?” This time I have an answer for Scootaloo
“I heard you talking to each other before you started... Whatever you were doing.” I knew what they were doing, we all do.
“Oh we were try to get our cutie marks,” Sweetie Belle now spoke up, she still had branches and leaves in her mane, but she was looking happier. “We are the....”
“Cutie Mark Crusaders, I know please don’t shout it, I heard before.” I was not wanting to lose my hearing, if my ears were ringing from before, when I was far away I was not wanting to be right next to them. Before any of them could say anything there was a distant ring of a bell.
“Oh no, school we forgot!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “We need to hurry!”
“Right come on, Thorn Row!” Before I could even respond Scootaloo grabbed one of my hooves and started pulling me toward what I was really hoping was not the school, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were already running on ahead “Come on we’re going to be late!”
“But I...”
“No time move!” Not even given a chance to resist, so I’ll go will it for now and bolt later, got to be easier. Right?
No, It’s not easier. I thought even I could get away from three fucking kids, but no, and here I am running up on the school house, god please don’t make me go back to school, Scootaloo’s han-hoof is still in a vice like grip around my hoof, dragging me closer to... There!
“Come on! Hurry up.” Scootaloo still dragging me along, I should just give up and lay down, I’m dying here.
“J-just give m-me a minute.” I managed to wheeze out between breathes, the school house was just a few hundred yards down the road. “Good god, have they got enough hearts on that thing?” Seriously it covered, I know it’s a land of love and shit, but come on!
“Um yeah, it’s not very awesome, but we’re going to be late.” At this point Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were just outside the school house with a particular darkish pink teacher, and she did not look happy to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle so late, as the two filly’s walk-trotted, still getting use to that, up to Cheerilee heads lowered, I could already feel the evil of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, fuck I hate those two. “Oh no, we’ve so got detention.” Now finally Scootaloo let go of my hoof and allowed me to just fall to the floor, thank GOWD! “Come on, get up we really need to move now!” Yep, Scoots I ain’t moving anywhere.
“Just go on without me.” I so hope that sounded as dramatic as it did in my head, I know it probably won’t wor...
“Okay.” Before I could even finish that thought she was off running, Gah! Galloping to the school house. You know for someone who looks up to Rainbow Dash, The element of loyalty, she sure was quick to ditch me... Bitch. Well at least I can now go get my Pinkie party, Woop! As I clambered to my hooves to start wa-trot away I could hear Cheerilee not shouting but giving a stern talking down to for been late, then I heard something about detention, I’m I so cruel to just leave those three to that fate as I walk away it was my fault they are late, with my shitty running... Bollocks to it I'm just going to call it what I know, if I wasn’t there they might have been able to make it on time, am I really just going to walk away from them? Looking back at the three filly’s and mare the former all had their head lowered staring at the floor I couldn’t see their faces but I had an idea of how they would look, the teacher on the other umm hoof, I suppose, was looking down at then with a look of disappointment mixed with a touch of anger. I came to a stop after seeing what I had caused, could I really just leave them to whatever Cheerilee had planned for them? No I couldn’t, didn’t see that one coming did you, you though I would just leave them to it, well no I can’t, I have to watch this. So I sat the fuck down and watched, what there is no fucking TV here I need some form of entertainment and this is it, so there I sat watching the CMC get a stern talking to.
“Well this is boring.” And with that I turned to leave when an idea passed through my mind of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon having way to much enjoyment out of this, I could let them have fun out of this could I? No I couldn't, I turned back around and ran towards the school house , and of course when I say run I mean stumble with speed, as I got closer to the building the group of four was just about to go inside. “Wait!” I called out still ‘stumbling with speed’ the three filly’s did not stop to look back at me but the teacher did, she turned to look out at a strange colt that she had never seen before stumbling his way to school, I would imagine that’s what I looked like.
“Oh hello there.” She said that way to cheerily, Well it is basically her name I suppose, once I finally reached the doorway to the building I could catch my breath before continuing, hanging my head, to weak from the run to lift it, fuck off I’m on that out of shape.
“Hang on, just *Gasp* give *Gasp* me a sec.” God dam, running is hard as a horse-pony whatever. “Right I think I'm good.” I was still breathing a little heavy but I could form a coherent sentence. “It not their fault.” I need more oxygen before I speak full sentences, need to keep then short.
“What is not their fault dear?” Not going to lie I cringed at that I hate been called ‘dear’, it make me feel like I’m been talked down to, I need to straighten that out fast. As I lifted my head to look at the teacher a worried smile had formed on her face. “Are you alright, dear ?” There it was again, it sounded so aggressive it probably wasn’t but it sounded like that to me, I need to deal with that first.
“Please don’t call me that, I hate been called that.”
“Been called what dear ?” She’s doing that on purpose now.
“That ‘dear’ I hate it, reminds me to much of been a kid.” Yeah stupid thing to say, I know, but it just slipped out before I could stop it.
“But you are a...”
“I know, it a long story, just please don’t call me that.” I cut her off I’m not going to let her talk down to me anymore than necessary. “Anyway, it’s not their fault, they are late, it mine.” This seemed to have taken Cheerilee by surprise, an unknown colt defending three of her students.
“Why it that?” No ‘dear’ this time seems to have worked.
“You see...” No I didn’t think this through before you ask. “You see... I’m new!” Well d’uh. “And they were showing me around Ponyville and I got a little lost and they ended up late because they were looking for me.” Not my best lie ever but I’ll make it work.
“Okay.” Cheerilee’s smile became very motherly at that point it was kind of infectious, I found myself smiling back. “Well come on it.” What!? NO! That smile lasted long.
“Wait I can’t I haven’t done any paper work. Don’t I need to apply and stuff?” I have no idea if the school system works the same it does in our world, I always assumed it did.
“Oh no need dear ,” There it is again. “This is an open school. Foals can come and go, no need for any paperwork, just learning, the royal pony sisters pay for these types of schools.” That makes no sense! “This school is free for all foals. Isn’t that great?” No it means back to school. “Come in.” Before I could even argue further Cheerilee was behind me and pushing me in to the school building.
Inside wasn’t much different from the show apart from there were a lot more desks, still a lot of hearts, why? The class was talking amongst themselves sharing stories of crap I could give a flying fuck about. The CMC were all sat at the back of the room, next to each other. “Class I have an announcement, pay attention!” The class fell silent and all eyes fell upon me, good god I’ve just noticed ponies eye are weird they are way too big for their heads, I’m not going to think about it too hard. “We have a new student.” She doesn’t know my name this may be fun. “Go ahead introduce yourself.” Touché.
I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words with so many ponies watching me it felt to mush like been back in school, I know I technically am, but all of my life experience, I know I don’t have much I am only 27 but it’s enough to have some confidence to talk to a class full of fucking foals, but it felt like my lung were been crushed under the weight of all the combined staring, it was petrifying, I could barely breath as time ticked by I heard sniggering coming from somewhere, I started scanning the class for the culprits, I knew who it was Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, are somewhere in here. There! Right at the back in the corner, and I was right they were laughing at me, I’m already been bullied. FUCK NO! I’m 27 years old just fucking speak you god dam jackass! “I’m...” Oh crap I’ve forgotten my name, I can’t be that nerves, can I?. Thorn line, Hedge row, Steve? Thorn Row! “My name it Thorn Row.”
“What kind of a name is that?” Diamond asked under her breath hoping not to be heard, I think.
“What kind on a name is Diamond Tiara?” I shot back, thank you writers. The class fell in to a different kind of silence, the tense kind, as me and Diamond glared at each other.
“Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, Thorn Row.” Cheerilee interrupted the silence before mine and Diamonds staring contest escalated, thank you Cheerilee I looked back to the bulk of the class to continue.
“Fine, I’m new to town I use to live in a land far, far away. I don’t know much of Equestrian culture or stuff like that.” Hopefully if I say that now they won’t question how I don’t know when Hearth Warming is. “And insert interesting and mysterious back story to why I moved here. Ain’t much more to say.” I could be bothered with anymore of this shit, I’ll deal with it later. Everybody just looked at me, really creepy.
“Well, uh, why don’t you take a seat over there next to Rumble.” Cheerilee said with the same amount of confusion in her voice as the class had on their faces, pointing a hoof to the colt in question, and so I walked down the row to him, the seat I would have was next to the windows, grand seat that. As I sat down a looked across the gap to the next line of desks Rumble was looking at me with a rather large smile on his face.
“What?” I asked, to which he just pointed a hoof to my desk, my empty desk, crap. Slamming my head on my desk I just sat there. This is going to be a long day.
How did this happen to me?
And there I sat my head on my desk, I had no idea how long it had been, felt like it had only been ten minutes, but that is school for you, I could hear Cheerilee talking away about something but I was so zoned out I had no idea what she was talking about, I just have to get through this one day of school and I can go back to my camp and just do something else, sleep comes to mind, I can’t even be bothered with trying to get a Pinkie party anymore and that was the whole reason I even came here, ok not the whole reason but one of the main ones.
“Psst, Psssst!” Someone was trying to get me attention but I couldn’t be bothered with them. “Psst, hey.” They’re not going to stop are they? “Hey.” Nope.
“What?” I asked, rather angrily, lifting my head form the desk to look at the disturbance.
“Have you got the answer to number ten?” Rumble asked, leaning slightly towards me but still facing forward, trying to be discreet, I think. “And I’m also left four blank, have you got that?” I cast my gaze toward the front of the class, to find Cheerilee facing the board writing questions on it for the class to answer. Wait, when did this happen? I know I haven’t been paying the slightest bit of attention, but there are like twenty questions on that board, when did she write then on there? Looking back at my desk I found a small pool of drool, that makes sense now, I fell asleep, I also found a piece of paper and a pencil.
“Rumble, does it look like I have either of those?” I said gesturing a hoof to my table, more specifically my blank piece of paper.
“Oh,” Was all he managed to whisper back. “Are you having trouble too?” This kid ain’t the brightest on the block is he? I’ve been sat right next to him, how as he not noticed me sleeping? On that thought how has no one noticed me sleeping? Oh well I'm not complaining.
“No I’m not having trouble. The answers are,” I didn’t know the answer at this point, but on it just some basic math question, easy right? I turned back to the board to read question four... ‘Simplify: (x4 / x3)3’ since when did school start teaching this crap to kids this age? I know the answer, I did learn this in high school ! I can safely say this isn’t a high school. Kids are getting way to smart, good thing I’m still smarter, for now. “The answer is x3.” Seriously when did this stuff start getting taught to kids this age?
“Cool, what’s the answer to ten?” Rumble was now scribbling down the answer and waiting for the next. I looked over the board, looking for the question, ‘Solve the equation: -5x + 20 = 25’ easy enough I suppose, but still this kids are like, what ten-eleven? The school system here is far better then back in Glasgow, well to be fair most school system’s are better than Glasgow’s.
“The answer is,” I started leaning in closer to Rumble to make sure his other answers are right.
“What’s going on here?” Cheerilee demanded, mine and Rumbles brain reacted in the exact same way, we sat bolt upright in our chairs pretending like nothing was happening. I know it wouldn’t work but for some reason or another, my brain sat itself back in to school mode, probably been back in a school, but I genuinely thought it would work for a second. “Well?”
“Nothing miss.” Rumble was the first to speak up looking straight forward at the black bard, I however couldn’t stop myself from looking all around the class and I noticed one thing, everyone was looking at us, again.
“You don’t have to protect him Rumble.” What? Protect who? Oh no, she doesn’t think I was copying him does she? “It’s not your fault Rumble.” She does, oh well Rumble will help me out here.
“Oh ok miss, he was copying me.” OH, YOU ASSHOLE!
“Bull crap was I copying you!” That little shit, I’m going to kill him.
“Calm down Thorn Row.” Na I won’t calm down, he dies NOW! “Thorn Row you will not copy off other ponies hard work, it is wrong.” Cheerilee wasn’t very Cheery, she was stern and commanding, and god I wanted to argue so much.
“Yes Miss Cheerilee.” What the hell was the miss about? “But I wasn’t copying off of him,” I pointed a hoof toward Rumble. “He asked if I had the answer for ten and four.” I don’t know why but talking to Cheerilee reminded me of one of my old teachers, the manipulative bitch that she was, but Cheerilee was different it was more like I couldn’t lie to her, no idea why.
“Is this true Rumble?” Cheerilee asked looking over to Rumble, if I can't lie to Cheerilee surly he can't, and he just looked right in to her eyes took a deep breath, here it comes, the truth.
“No miss I did not.” Son of a ditch, how come he just lied to her face and I couldn’t, I’ve lied so many time to my girlfriend, I think we all have at some point, DON’T JUDGE ME! The police, some friends and I had a bit of an incident with a lot of beer and a makeshift flame thrower, don’t ask. I’ve even lied to my mum, the woman who raised me. So how come I can’t lie to a fucking pony? Hell I have lied to her, the hole name thing, even been a pony it a lie for me, I could easily turn this on Rumbles head with a quick lie but I can’t. Cheerilee was now looking back at me waiting for a response.
“Fine, what is the answer to ten then?” I might be able to get him like this, hopefully, I’m not going through detention, fuck that!
“Well, umm, I don’t know.” Ha I got him... Looking down at his paper noticed that he didn’t have the answer, oh yeah, Cheerilee interrupted me before I could tell him, dam! Wait question four I did tell him the answer to that, I hope he can’t remember it.
“What about number four?” Just before he cast his gaze down to his paper to find the answer I slammed my hoof down covering it. “Without looking.” I could feel my face give in to the evil grin spreading across it.
“I-I don’t know.” He said hanging his head in defeat, I moved my hoof from his paper revealing his-my answer.
“It’s x3 just so you know, and the answer to ten was -1.” As I stated both answers I could hear half the class erasing and filling in the correct answers. “Now what have we learned Rumble?” I asked putting on my most ‘teacher-ry’ voice I could.
“Umm I don’t know. Algebra?” Good answer.
“Well yes, but also, DON’T FUCK WITH ME!” Rumble shrunk back a bit and Cheerilee just looked at me in astonishment, probably using ‘bad’ language in class.
“Thrown Row you do not, ever, raise your voice in class.” She, more along the lines of demanded, but without raising her voice, I don’t know how they do that, it’s a teacher thing I think, and she let the swearing slide, maybe they don't have the same cuss words we do.“Now apologize to Rumble.”
“What!?” I could see Rumble with a smug grim out of the corner of my eyes, but my attention was on Cheerilee “You can’t be serious?” Her face told me otherwise.
“Yes I am, now apologize.”
“No way, no how!” I am not going to submit and apologize to that asshole, I shot Rumble and another death glare, and it knocked his smug grim down a few notches but it still remained.
“If you’re not going to apologize then you shall stay behind after class for detention,” Cheerilee turned around to walk back to the front of the class to continue the lesson. “This isn’t a very good first class for you Thorn Row.” Looking back over to face Rumble to give him my best ‘I’m-going-to-rip-your-god-dam-legs-off-and-beat-you-with-them’ look I could muster, but soon as I looked at him he turned his gaze away to avoided mine, cowered. At that point I just gave up and lay my head back down on my table, get some more sleep before... “Right, how about an early break everypony,” And without waiting for her to change her mind the whole class jumped out of their seat and started funneling out the door to the school yard to enjoy their break, but as Rumble got up to leave he cast one more look at me, and I mouthed ‘I’m going to find you’ just before he was pulled away by his friends, soon Cheerilee and I were the only two left in the class room, Cheerilee was erasing all the equations from the board, once that was done she moved over to the door and closed it. “Now Thorn Row I know coming to a new school can be scary but whaa-whaa-whaa...” This is not what I had in mind when I was thinking of ‘brony it up’ in Equestria. Kill me now.
School, ain’t it a bitch. I’ve been back to school for like half a day and already got detention, go me.
“Thorn Row are you listening?” No, not in the slightest.
“Yes, of course Cheerilee.” I hope she didn’t pick up the sarcasm.
“Good,” Really, she didn’t, cool. “So what was I saying?” Maybe not. But I have a way of dealing with this.
“Oh listening to you? Well in that case. No.” It doesn’t get you out of trouble, but it makes it enjoyable.
“I was saying, that I know coming to a new school can be scary,” Not as scary as coming to Equestria. “But I hope I can make the transition easier for you.”
“By giving me detention?” Seems logical.
“Yes. I want to talk to you about what happened today in class,”
“What? But he asked me for the answer, I didn’t copy him!” God dam I’ve been back in school barely half a day and I’ve resorted to whining like a fucking five year old.
“And you gave him the answer, and that is just as bad.” Oh, bullshit is it.
“What the kid asked a question, it would be rude to not answer. Wouldn’t it?” I noticed her recoil a bit from that, but her front help up.
“You’re right, it would normally be rude,” Knew I was right. “But, in this case it would have been better to leave Rumble to answer his own question,” Tell me about, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here getting lectured by you. “Rumble has had problems with algebra, I would like him to develop with it better, but if he is getting told the answer it will not help him. Do you understand?”
“Yes Cheerilee.” I only said that so I could move this along, I’m not submitting. I’M NOT!
“That’s also ‘Miss Cheerilee’ to you.” I forgot she doesn’t have a man-stallion in her life, and I’m not calling them a ‘special somepony’ sound so cheesy. “Now since you spent the whole of that class asleep,” So someone did notice. “I want you to answer all these questions before break is over.” She said starting to walk up to the students desks to collecting the work in to, grade I’d imagine.
Looking down at ‘my desk’, feels weird even thinking that, I haven’t had a desk since I left school, I found that the paper and pencil were still there, how does this even work? How did they do it in the show? Twilight used magic.
Focusing all of my thoughts on lifting the pencil in to the air, I ended up just giving the pencil a death glare.
“Are you alright dear? Are you stuck?” Yes, but not with a question. How else did they do it? Spike, he wrote most of the letters to Celestia, but he ain’t here, Bam. Think how else do they do it? I was just in a class filled with ponies without magic writing, why did I not pay attention? Wait I did Rumble, the asshole, wrote with his... Mouth. Shit.
This is going to be fun, and by fun I mean a pain the in ass, lowering my head to pick the pencil with my mouth , this can’t be sanitary, I opened my mouth pick up the pencil, but instead I just nudged it with my chin, by accident, and it rolled away moving to try again, I knocked it again and again it rolled away, I moved for a third try but knocked it again, and again, and again.
“God dam, why can’t I just get this thing in my mouth!” Immediately after the words left my lips my brain screamed its protest, a bit too late.
“Um, dear are you sure you’re alright?” Cheerilee’s voice came thick. Oh god ‘came thick’, my brain went from brony mode to school mode to pervert mode. Why brain, why!? Cheerilee’s voice was laced with confusion and concern. Better.
“Yes.” I shoot back instantly, trying to pretend like nothing happened. Ok using my mouth to write is now out of the picture, let’s just try using my hooves. Straightening the pencil I placed one hoof on each side and clamped them shut on the pencil, lifting my hoof up the pencil joined. Ha victory!
Now the hard part, writing, holding my hooves over the desk, the tip of the pencil was hovering just over the paper, lowering the pencil slowly it made contact with the paper, slowly I dragged the pencil across the paper and the inevitable happened, the pencil snapped.
“Oh, go fuck your couch! You piece of shit!” I lose my temper rather quick at the best of times, and this is far from a good time for me.
“Dear, you don’t sound alright.” Cheerilee was now sat at her desk at the front of the class reading through the class’s work.
“I can’t write.” With hooves I added in my head.
“Can’t you just use your magic?” she asked raising an eye brow and tilting her head.
“Um, no I can’t. Can I just answer these orally?” Ha Oral! “Shut up brain.” I mumbled under my breath so Cheerilee didn’t think I was crazy... Crazier.
“Why can’t you use your magic, bear?” I’ve been letting it slide for awhile hoping it would stop but it hasn’t.
“No love , I never learned.” I’m going to have to use this to make her stop aren’t I?
“Oh, I’m sorry. Yes of course you can do this orally.” Ha Ora-
“Shut up brain, I need you in school mode to answer these.” I mumbled under my breath, but I think Cheerilee still heard me, she was just staring at me. “Is something wrong?” I asked, trying to make her out as the weirdo.
“I’m a little shocked your peasants never taught you to use magic, that all.”
“My mom wasn’t a unicorn.” She wasn’t even a pony.
“What about your dad?”
“I hope that asshole is dead in a ditch somewhere.” I whispered to myself.
“Sorry what was that?” Cheerilee ask leaning a bit closer.
“I never had one. I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” A ping of sadness shot across her face.
“Don’t be, I’m not.”
“Well, um, how about you answer question one.” Cheerilee was quickly changing the subject, thankfully, my ‘dad ’ was a very touchy subject.
Looking at the board, the questions were all still there and the answer to question one was easy enough, it didn’t take me long to figure it out.
“7.” I said flatly.
“Good, how about-“
“3x.” I interrupted her, this was going to take forever answering like this. “The answer for three is -3.” Just answer them all then skive the rest of the day. “Five is 18.”
“Um, dear you missed number four.” Stop with the dear bullshit, please.
“Just check Rumble’s answer. Six is 24.” These are pretty fucking easy, to be honest I thought I would never need this shit in my life, but here we are, so remember kid’s pay attention in school. You never know when you might wake up in Equestria as a changeling, who is disguised as a ten year old colt trying to get through a day of school. Oh yeah, and don’t do drugs and drink responsibly and other shit like that.
“Well it very obvious that you know how to be basic algebra.”
“Basic!? That’s basic?” Seriously that ain’t basic.
“Well no,” Good. “It’s a bit more advanced, but I’m trying to get the rest to learn some higher level stuff, so when we move on to the more basic equations they will be easier for them to learn.” Makes a bit of sense I suppose.
“And is it working?” I think I know the answer to this, if Rumble is anything to go by.
“No, only Dinky seems to be the only one understanding any of this.” Wait Dinky. Dinky, Dinky? Daughter of Derpy, Dinky? Really? She is understanding this? Maybe Derpy is smarter than we give her credit for and teaching her, or Dinky is just the smart one of the family. “And you I suppose, but I didn’t teach you.”
“So why are you teaching it to them still?”
“I’m hoping it will just click.”
“Trust me love, this don’t just ‘click’ it hard and you’ll have to start at the beginning and work them up to this.” I’m giving a teacher advice on teaching. The only teaching experience I have was teaching people is how to properly down a pint in one go.
“I think you’re right, I should just start with the more basic stuff.” Letting a sigh of defeat leave her lips Cheerilee turned to face the black board a picked up a chalk eraser in her mouth and started erasing the questions from the board. “Ah-hust-hith...”
“Cheerilee did your mother never tell you not to talk with your mouth full?”
Dropping the eraser on to her desk she looked up at me. “Sorry, I was saying I just wished somepony could answer number twenty-one. It was the goal for the day.”
Look at the board number twenty-one was still intact and readable. Can’t be too hard, can it? ‘(2x-3y4)3(x3 + y)0 / (4xy-2)3’ Doable, but that’s for me, for the rest I could see the problem.
“Hang on.” I can get this.
“You don’t have to answer that.” Cheerilee mumbled, picking the eraser in her mouth and stepped closer to the black board.
“AH NO!” I screamed flailing my hooves in Cheerilees general direction, without taking my eyes off the question. “I almost got this.” Cheerilee stop almost immediately in shock at been shouted at, I’d imagine, but I’ve still got to answer this question. I felt like I’ve crushed Cheerilee’s sprit a bit, she isn’t smiling any more, I need to fix this.
“Really dear, you don’t need to answer this.”
“Maybe not ‘need’ to, but I want to.” And I did, Cheerilee is one of my more favourite ponies and it was kind a downer seeing her like this, and knowing it was my fault. I can have a heart sometimes, just don’t get use to it. “The answer is...” Cheerilee turned to look at the board wide eyed at the fact I have the answer, then back at me, then back to the board, then back to me, I’m a horse. (Sorry couldn’t resist.) “The answer is (1/8)(y18 / x12).” I think.
“How did you? Not even Dinky could answer that without writing down the working out. How did you do that all in your head?”
“I didn’t sit through higher math for nothin’.”
“Higher? What is higher?” Oh god dam! I was just starting to be a good changeling.
“It advanced math.” Please just take that as an answer and don’t press this.
“Oh ok,” Thank god, or would it be Celestia now? “Well why don’t you go out and play with the rest of the class.” Cheerilee still looked a bit deflated, but I think she was at least a little bit happier that someone answered the last question, but I don’t think it make much difference, she never taught me. Might just make things worse that her pupils were struggling, while someone else pupil could answer this all in his head.
“Umm ok.” Pushing my hooves against the desk an sliding my chair back with a Screech! , both me and Cheerilee cringed at the sound, me especially. Sliding of my chair, I started walking for the door, but stopped just a few feet away from it, and turned to look back at Cheerilee cleaning the board, with her forelegs leaning on the board, her hooves had a thin layer of chalk dust covering her pink fur with a tint of white. “Miss Cheerilee,” Turning her attention from the board to me her mouth was still holding eraser, he muzzle also had a thin layer of chalk on it, she looked kind of cute. “I’m sorry.”
Cheerilee dropped her forelegs to the floor, with a small cloud of white dust from each hoof, and placed the eraser back on her desk. “For what dear?”
“Well for, um, everything I suppose. I haven’t made the best first impression, not just telling Rumble the answer to some of the questions, but sleeping threw class and shouting at Rumble and well, I’m just sorry.” I wanted to look at Cheerilee while saying that but I couldn’t, I’ve done far worse things in the past that I couldn’t give a slightest dam about, but this, I don’t know, I felt shame, a rare felling for me, so instead of looking at her I just hung my head and stared at the floor, I must have blacked out to the world, because Cheerilee had managed to walk right up to me and I never noticed until two leg were wrapped around me and pulled me in to a hug.
“Well, in that case apology accepted. Just don’t do it again, dear.” This was nice, it was, leaning in to the hug. I could feel her fur against mine, with my head to her chest I could hear her heart beat and feel her chest rise and fall as she breathed, and there was something else, something in me, a ping, a spark... Love, not mine but hers, I could feel her love, it was faint but there, and I was now feeding of it. It was weird, really weird, I thought been hungry for love was weird but feeding on it was worse, a lot worse, it wasn’t bad, just weird, I can’t even describe it, so I’m not going to try, lazy me. Well the good news it, at least I found a love source, all be it a small one.
There we sat, me in her embrace, moments ticked by as this hug went on far too long, but during this hug I was feeding of her love, I’m scared if I let the hug end, will the flow of love end as well, but this was too uncomfortable to continue, I had to mention something, but what? Was Cheerilee having the same thought pattern? Is she finding this weird? I hope so, otherwise this is REALLY weird. I think I need an adult.
“So,” I started awkwardly. “Do you hug all your new pupils like this? Or is it just your favourite ones?” I asked looking up from Cheerilee’s chest with a cheeky grin.
Cheerilee loosened her grip on me, but did not break it. “Oh I don’t know.” She said returning my grin. “Maybe just the ones that annoy me.” She poked her tongue out at me before letting go of me entirely. “Go on. Go enjoy yourself, before class starts again. Its history, you might like it, and if what you say is true, about not knowing much of Equestrian history it might prove useful. Now get out of here.” Her previous attitude had returned, she was smiling and when she walked back to her desk there was a definite bounce in her step. It brought a smile to my face knowing I had something to do with it, also had something to do with disappearing, but I brought it back so all is good.
Turning around to face the door I pushed it open with a hoof to a playground full of running filly and colts, laughing, playing and talking, the whole class was here The CMC, Dinky, Pipsqueak, Featherweight, ‘Plastic’ Tiara, Silver Spoon, Rumble... Rumble.
“RUMBLE! GET OVER HERE! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!”
“Rumble when I catch you, you’re in for it!” Sitrep.
“What do you want?!” Good news, I found Rumble, and now had the whole of break to kill him.
“Your blood!” Bad news, he’s fast.
“Just leave me alone! I’m sorry!” Really fast, I can barely keep up with him.
“No you’re not! But I’ll make you sorry!” When I say ‘barely’ I of course mean, I can’t get anywhere near him.
“Where is Miss Cheerilee!? Somepony go get her!”
“Rumble not even the princess could save you now!” I may not be quick as him, but on the other hand, hoof? He was getting tired and I wasn’t. He’ll have to stop eventually, and I’ll get him.
And so we ran, I kept chasing him, he kept running away. It will all be over soon.
10 minutes later
“Come out, come out where ever you are.” Rumble at some stage he had worked out what I had, he can’t run forever and instead ran for the forest to hide. “Rumble your futile attempts of prolonging your life are commendable, but of course, entirely useless.” I’ve been in this forest for 5 minutes now and haven’t been able to find him, I’m not even sure he is still here. I was thinking of giving up and heading back to the school house, maybe he sneaked out past me, as I turned to head back a leaf fell past my face, normally I would have just ignored it and walked on, but it was the rustle that accompanied it that pulled my eyes up. “Found you.” Rumble was hiding above me the whole time. “I didn’t know you could fly.” That shall make this all the more fun.
“What do you want from me?” Rumble called down to me, fear in his eyes.
“Oh I thought I already told you.” I answered back, a sinister grin started tugging at the corner of my lips.
“Hey everypony! Rumble and Thorn Row are playing Hide and Seek and Thorn Row is it!” Snapping my head around to face the disturbance, I found most of the class standing together, lead by Scootaloo. “RUN!” In an instant the whole group despised and found various hiding spots. But it did not matter the only thing that mattered was...
“Where the fuck did he go?!” Turning my attention back to Rumble I found he was missing. “Shit.” Casting my gaze to around me, I started to scan the area for Rumble, finding a few of the slower fouls still to find their hiding spot, as well as a few bushes were shaking, obviously fouls still trying to make sure they are hidden, but only one foul mattered and he was gone. “Let the hunt continue.” I declared to myself.
Moving over to one of the bushes that was still moving, I pushed some of the branches away and peered inside to find a filly staring back, a white coat with purple and pink mane, Sweetie Belle.
“Aww, you found me.” Yeah you weren’t very well hidden.
“Sweetie Belle I’m not playing Hide and Seek.” I dead deadpanned, Not with them anyway.
“Oh, we thought you and Rumble were playing.”
“No we were not. I just need to find him, have you seen him?”
As Sweetie Belle climbed out the bush, once again with a few leaves and branches in her mane and tail, she doesn’t stay clean long does she?
“Yes he went that way,” As she started to lift a hoof to point where Rumble had went, I could feel a wave of excitement wash over me, this would be over soon. “Wait.” She said dropping her hoof to the floor before she could point in any direction. “You can’t do that, it’s cheating.”
“Sweetie Belle I’m not playing, just tell me!” I shouted a little too aggressively, I could tell by the fact Sweetie Belle cowered away a bit, now I feel bad, again. “I’m sorry, I just...” Lifting a hoof to face-palm, face-hoof whatever! “Look I swear I’m not playing.”
Sweetie Belle seemed to relax again. “No, you’re going to have to find everyone yourself.” She said with a stern shack of her head.
“God dammit Nappa.” Ha references.
“What’s a Nappa.” This is going to be a long hunt.
15 minutes later
“Looks like that’s everypony,” More good news, I found everyone. “Well, now what?”
“How about Tag?!” A filly shouted, jumping from the crowd of foals that had gathered on the edge of the school field, most of the group sounded their approval of the idea but a few said something against the idea, but they went unheard.
“So who’s it?” The same filly asked, who I now recognized, Berry Pinch.
Scootaloo scratched her chin in thought. When did she become the game master for this play ground?
“I know!” She shouted, getting the attention of all of us. “Thorn Row is it!” What!? “Run!” Before I could even register what was happening there was a large cloud of dust as all the filly’s and colts scattered all over.
“Dammit Scootaloo you only chose me cause you know I can’t run!”
“Yep!” Fuck.
10 minutes later
I lay dead in the middle of a grass field, I had no idea where this field was, but I knew I was dead. A white figure formed in front of me, I could not make out any features of the figure but there was a heavenly glow behind it, until a pair of wing spurted out from is sides. It’s this an angel? “Is this heaven?” I asked struggling to lift my head.
The figure moved closer to me and slowly lifted an appendage towards me. I shot up to a standing pose and quickly jabbed it with a hoof before jumping around a running as fast as I could. “You’re it!” I shouted back over my shoulder to the filly silly enough to walk right up to the pony that was it, Cotton Cloudy I think.
“What? That’s no fair!” She shouted back and started chasing after me who was, of course, laughing hysterically. I knew I wouldn’t be able to out run her, but I didn’t care in the slightest, I was having too much fun.
“Okay everypony, time for class!” Cheerilee shouted from the doorway of the school.
“Cotton Cloudy loses!” I heard a few ponies call out from all over the field.
“But Thorn Row cheated.” Cotton Cloudy protested, as all the foals started toward the school building.
“Hey it’s not cheating it just tactics,” I defended. “Tactics you fell for.” A few foal ran up to us to talk about what had happened to them during the game of Tag, where they hid, close encounters, and while I had not spent all the time as ‘it’ I did spent most time as ‘it’ out of everyone else.
“Ye’ Thorn you’re pretty slow, why?” A voice asked from behind me, I had no need to look to see how it was I knew already.
“Scootaloo, haven't seen you fly yet, why?” BOOM! Harsh, but it worked, and thus she fell silent, good thing to as our small group passed by Cheerilee and in to the... Class room...
*Slam*
From behind me I could hear the door shut, I spun around to face the only exit, that was now blocked off. There was no escape.
“Is something wrong?” Yes! Good god yes! How could I be so stupid!? Why did I just walk straight back in to class, I was meant to be long gone. “Dear?”
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled out automatically before I noticed what the question was, eventually I managed to get my body to respond again. “Oh yeah I’m fine.”
“Okay go and take your seat then.” She smiled at me before walking away to the black board, which had a lot on new stuff written on it, don’t ask what is was I never looked at it properly and I’m only assuming it’s new cause Cheerilee was erasing the board last I saw.
Turning to face the class and move toward my seat, I noticed Rumble was missing and somebody, ah fuck, somepony else was sat there instead, looking over the class I found Rumble sitting right at the front of the class. As I walked past him a give him a sinister grin, just to fuck with him, turning my attention back to my seat, I took a better look at who would sat next to me, I recognized her immediately, it was Dinky. What was she doing in Rumble’s seat? In fact this was the most I have seen of her all day, was she even playing with us? I thought most of the class was. As I took my seat I turned to her.
“Hi.” I’m going to be nice to Dinky. I like Dinky.
“Hello.” She barely looked at me, but she sounded kind of sad.
“You alright?” She looked at me properly this time, her eyes had just the slightest red in them and her cheeks were wet, she had been crying. Who the fuck made her cry? She sniffled and brought a hoof to wipe her eye and gave me a weak nod. I was going to press further but Cheerilee had other plans.
“Right class,” She was standing next to a large pile of books. “Miss Twilight was nice enough to let us use these book please don’t damage them. Can somepony pass these out please?” Cheerilee walked away from them as a few different colored auras surrounded them and floated them to all the desks in class, I need to find out how to do that. “And open them to page 117.”
Several day later
God dam how long can a history lesson take? It feels like we’ve been here for ages! And looking around the class room would seem to agree most of the foals were struggling to keep their attention towards the front of the class, I gave up at the start of class and just started reading from the beginning of the book some of it was really interesting, well as interesting as pony history can be.
The gryphons for example, at the beginning of Equestria a peace treaty was signed to ensure that they would not invade during the first few decades so Equestria could build up so long as the gryphons could trade later, which started a war between the two countries when Equestria refused to trade some rare diamond, or something.
“Right class that’s is all for today,” There was a group sigh of relief as many of the class dropped their books on their desk and started to pack their stuff in to their bags. “Thorn Row may I speak to you after class.”
“Oh come on. I didn’t do anything,” Wait I know exactly where this is going, some shit about that's exactly it, I didn’t do anything. “Except study.” Saved myself there.
“Oh you’re not in trouble.” Say that first woman! Why is it always women that do that? If you’re going out with one they randomly walk up to one day and say ‘We need to talk.’ Then you brain goes straight to ‘Oh shit she’s breaking up with me.’ Women if you’re reading this, I have one thing to say to you.
DON’T DO THAT!!!
As the class funneled out of the building away to spend the rest of their day doing whatever kids do without Xbox, I can’t remember, what did we do? We didn’t spend all day playing Hide and Seek, did we? The class was once again empty of all ponies except me and Cheerilee.
“What did you want?” I was genuinely curious, what did she want? Do I need an adult again?
“Oh it was just to ask you how your first day was.” Cheerilee was behind her desk again looking over some notes, or something.
“Well the morning I slept through that, and then I shouted a Rumble and scared him enough to move seats.”
“Oh Rumble was asked to move seats by me.” Aww I thought I was getting to him.
“Why? Or is it one of those things between just you two?”
“No I thought that Dinky would be able to get along with you, and maybe she could have a partner in group activities that doesn’t leave her doing all the work.” Oh but that’s how kids get through group stuff, team up with the smart kid then piss off to go play with their friends, or that’s how we use to do it, until high school where there were no smart kids.
“Oh ok.” Not like I’m hanging around much longer anyway. “This book, can I borrow it?” Could come in helpful.
“No sorry dear, they are from the library.”
“But isn’t the point of a library to borrow books from?”
“Yes, but if you want to borrow one you will have to go ask Miss Twilight at the library.” Bollocks to it then. “You must have enjoyed history then, every time I saw you, you had your nose in that book reading.”
“Um yeah, but I was reading about the treaty with the gryphons.”
“Why was that?”
“Well I really don’t know anything about Equestria, apart from the bad guys had a field day a thousand years ago.”
“Oh that’s bad, tell you what, talk to me after class next time and I'll discuss something with you. Also would you be kind enough help me gather all the books?” Cheerilee got out from behind her desk and started to gather the books and place them on her back.
“Um sure.” No idea how I’m going to do this, one at a time comes to mind. Getting off from my seat picking my book up in my mouth, looking over my shoulder to try and balance the book on my back, I couldn’t quite get it to balance right every time I lessened my grip on the book it would start to fall off until I caught it again, eventually I just gave up, looking back up a Cheerilee she had three books on her back and one in her mouth, how does she balance three books on her back? She moved back to the front of the class and placed the book in her mouth on the floor then started to place the ones on her back on top, forming a pile. Knowing that I wasn’t going to be doing more than one at a time, ether by the fact that I couldn’t balance them on my back or that I needed to jump up to reach the desks and it wouldn’t be possible to keep the books on my back doing that, I walked down and placed mine on the pile.
After a few minutes of this, me and Cheerilee had all the books at the front of the classroom.
“How are you getting these back to the library?” It was a good question.
“Miss Twilight is coming around to collect them.” Fair enough.
“Well if that’s all you need I’m going to go. Bye.” I gave a quick wave to Cheerilee before I left.
“I’ll see you in two days.” Wait, what?
“Why two days?”
“It’s the weekend.” She said raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t know.”
“Oh I never noticed.” SWEET! That’s great news I now can have my party tomorrow then get the day after to sleep off the hangover. “Well, see you then.” I walked out the door to go walk about Ponyville a bit I suppose, it was why I was here at all.
“Hey Thorn Row!” Looking around I saw a group of foals all standing around in a group. “You want to play Hide and Seek again!?” It was Scootaloo shouting for me. You know Ponyville can wait.
“Fuck yeah!”
The game of Hide and Seek had moved from the school to Ponyville proper it also became a game of Manhunt, or in this case Ponyhunt, now it was getting late the sun was setting, and I didn’t want to think about it, 'cause I knew Celestia would be setting it AND THAT’S NOT HOW PHYSICS WORKS!
“Thorn you ok?” Scootaloo asked in hushed whispers.
“Yeah I’m fine, do you see any of them?” Me and Scoots had ran in to each other when running and decided to hide together, I knew why, she didn’t have to out run them, just me.
“No looks pretty quiet. Should we keep going?” We had been looking for a better spot to hide after we got chased out of our previous spot.
“Yeah, over there might be a good spot to lay low.” I may or may not have been getting a bit too much in to this. “Keep your head down and move fast and an eye open for hostiles.” Okay I was getting way too much in to this.
“What a hostile?” Scoots asked raising an eyebrow, I was getting that look to often today.
“Never mind, just move.” As we started creeping across the street, it was empty of both foal and ponies this place was dead. “Where is everyon-pony.” Still need to get use to talking like that.
“Market is shut now, so everypony left and went home probably.”
“I FOUND YOU TWO!” Shouted a colt from behind us.
“Shit bolt!”
“No wait the game is over!” The colt shouted again chasing after us, I’m not falling for that, but Scoots did.
“Scoots what you doing!? IT’S A TRAP!” But Scoots still just stopped and faced the colt chasing us.
“No is not, everypony went home, now it’s just you two left, I’m going as well.” I turned to face him as well, seem like he was not telling lies, did make sense there hadn't been another foal for ages.
“Ah come on can’t you play a bit longer?” Scoots begged him.
“I wouldn’t bother, it’s not fun with only three.” I said walking towards the duo, I didn’t recognize the colt.
“Aww but it was so much fun.” Scoots whined on and on and on, I just stopped listening to her.
“See you around dude.” I said to the colt as he turned to leave.
“Bye Shady.” That who it is... No idea who that is.
“Who was he?” He looked familiar, but then again most of these ponies did.
“That‘s Shady,” I managed to work that one out myself Scoots. “He’s the photographer for the school paper.” Oh now I recognize him.
“Well I’m going as well, see you later Scoots.” I started to walk away before I noticed something, I had no idea where I was. “Um Scoots, where are we?”
“I told you the market.”
“Scoots that not helpful, I’m new here I don’t know where the market is.”
“Oh right. Tell me where you live and I’ll take you there.” She said beaming a smile at me, she was way too happy to just be walking some random colt home... Wait, I'm not going to do anything!
"You know that hill where I met you,” She nodded in response. “Take me there I’ll be able to walk back myself.” She deflated a bit after hearing that.
“Well ok, it’s close, this way.” She really did deflate, she sounded really disappointed, she turned and started walking down one of the many side streets, I just stood there and watched her leave before my brain kicked back in to gear.
“Wait up.” I ran after, I was getting better at this galloping thing, she didn’t even register that I didn’t follow her. “You alright?” I asked, since when did I become a fucking shrink?
“I fine just, well I just wish we could have played longer.” Now I know having a bedtime sucks but it wasn’t that bad was it?
“You sure? Seems to be a bit more that just that we had to stop playing together.”
“No that’s it I swear,” The look in her eyes said otherwise, but I barely knew the lass she wouldn’t tell me if I did push this. “I was just having so much fun." We waled in silence the rest of that way, she didn't cheer up at all. "Well here we are.” Looking around I recognized where I was, just over there was where I met Fluttershy, which means up that hill is where I going.
“Thanks Scoots.” I started to walk away in the direction of the hill. “Hey maybe I’ll see you tomorrow!” But she ether didn’t hear me or didn’t care, she was already walking away. But her walk, she wasn’t walk with a destination, she was just walking where ever her legs took her, I know that walk all too well. Those theories of her been homeless can’t be true. Can they? No someone must have noticed if a filly was living on the streets, Right?
As I watched her walk away, my mind trying to work out why she was so down, but nothing logical, not for a land of multicolored ponies. Before I noticed she had walk out of my sight and that left me all alone in a dark empty park, and if living in Glasgow taught me anything, the last place I wanted to be is a dark, empty park.
"I’m leaving, now."
As I was walking back to my ‘camp’, still not anywhere near what most would call a camp but it’s all I could come up with, I came to a realization. I’m lost, big time, I can’t find it anywhere I’ve been walking in circles, I’m sure, but still can’t find it. It wasn’t that far from the Ponyville boarder, I don’t think. God Dammit! I knew I should have left a trail.
I’ve been walking around for awhile now, the sun had completely set and the moon had take its place, The Everfree at night was always a little creepy, with it been autumn all the leave were falling or fallen, during the day it made for a lovely sight to see, the browns and reds really did look amazing, but at night, the bare tree made for creepy ass shadows, and groaned and creaked throughout the night, leading to many a time I woke up during the night thinking a Timber wolf was there. It wasn’t too bad as they said in the program what was it? The plants grow on their own, animals take care of themselves, and clouds move all on their own, you know it’s almost, normal... Almost. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t entirely scary, but after three Dead Space games a creepy ass forest it that bad, least there ain’t no necromorphs here.
As time went on I only got more and more lost, I had more than once stumbled back towards Ponyville, part of me just wanted to call it quits and find a nice alleyway to sleep in, but not yet. I had managed to find my starting point again, I just had to re-trace my steps, I don’t know why I thought it would work this time, didn’t the first five.
“Right there is that tree I walked past before, it never lead me back, so it’s not that way. Maybe this way?” Walking seemingly in a random direction, and the reason it seems like I was walking randomly, ‘cause I am. Night had claimed the sky now, the only light was what could make it through the tree branches, the night sky was light up with thousands of brilliant white lights, and the moon was lager that I had ever seen, it was moment like these that made me appreciate the freedom that I now had, living in a city I never got to see the night sky like this, it made the Everfree seem such safer than it really was.
As I wondered the forest gazing at the night sky the tree branches slowly, but steadily, became thinner until the branches disappeared, revealing the night sky in all it wonder, forcing myself to look at the ground to find out where I had wondered to, I discovered I was where I needed to be.
“About fucking time,” I finally found my ‘camp’. “Where the hell you been?” I knew it I wasn’t getting an answer but, not going to lie, I did scratch a face on to a rock, his name is Cortez. He was my only friend left.
I had a few thing to do before I called it a night, mainly mark the path back to town. I just need to drop this disguise... How the fuck do I do that?
“FUCK!”