Episode 17: Rarity on the Daily Show

Despite Jon Stewart’s long standing career in the field of television he himself was no stranger to a movie set. From going to see colleagues to actually having the opportunity to be in a movie himself Jon was familiar with the sensation of seeing set piece after set piece densely packed in some studio. One moment one might be in a setting like a courthouse or office and take two steps to the left and find themselves in a new section set modeled after a prison or graveyard. It was an odd feeling that was hard to find anywhere else... that is until today.

For on this day it was this same sensation that followed him even here as he entered the main room of Ponyville’s premium spa. Walking from the waiting room to this new are carried all the graceful transition of being on the set of a film. The waiting room looked nothing like the the rest of the building which was fitted with all types of machines and beds, making the scenario closely resemble a hospital than a spa.

The only similarity this new area had from where Jon had only moment ago left was a matching color scheme and the same, albeit now slightly different, smooth classical music playing throughout the area. Despite the machines being present the look and feel still felt inviting.

As well as being familiar with what a movie set looks like Jon was also familiar with how a Spa should appear. There were beds designed for laying on your stomach, chairs shaped in a way to arch your back so someone could work on your face, machines that a variety of tools designed for working on manicures, and of course the all important wide range of facial masks designed for any number of skin related treatments.

“Huh.” Jon thought. “This place doesn't look half bad.”

After Rarity’s brief introduction the two of them were approached by a pair of Earthponies wearing matching white headbands and chokers. These two, by all rights, looked to be twins based on many striking similarities between them. Jon learned long ago that in this world, for whatever reason, evolution had dictated that all ponies of the same gender would have roughly the same body type, so saying two ponies were twins needed to carry more weight.

Luckily enough for Jon even he could tell the that two ponies now in front of him were twin sisters, based on the fact that not only did they look alike but they had the same: hairstyle, color scheme of blue and pink (Granted it was reversed; with one sister having blue hair a pink coat and the other the opposite) and if that wasn’t enough they even shared the same Cutie Mark; a lotus flower.

As if they wanted to drive the twin factor to it’s stretching point the two of them even had the same voice when the spoke.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet your acquaintance, Mr. Stewart.” The pink haired one known as Lotus said. “It is always an honor to...”

“... Meet an individual as world renowned as yourself.” Aloe added. “And of course, any friend of madame Rarity is welcomed here.”

The two spoke in perfect harmony with each other like they had been practicing all day. That combined with their strong European accent, which Jon couldn't pin point for the life of him, made their words flow like water.

“Well... thanks for having us on such short notice.” Jon said, shaking each of their hooves. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Ms. Lotus and Aloe.”

“Ahem, Jonathan.” Rarity whispered as she lightly tapped his hip for attention. “Other way around.” Looking back at the twin sisters Jon realized that he had accidently addressed each pony by the other sister’s name.

“Oops... sorry!” Jon fretted, hoping to try and salvage this first impression.

“Do not worry Mr. Stewart!” Aloe said. “We only wish for you to be...”

“...as comfortable as possible.” Lotus chimed in. “After all this is a spa, is it not?”

“Heh, good point.” Jon admitted.

Suddenly Jon felt a little more at home in this spa designed for ponies. His initial reservation about joining Rarity for a day of pampering, aside from feeling like it was unrequited, was that he would feel out of place since he was of a different species. But as unorthodox as it was for him to be here the comforting hospitality of the two hosts made him feel less awkward about the whole situation. That is until...

“Not then, before we began there are some preparations that need to be taken care of.” Aloe motioned for for Rarity to place her bag onto the floor. “Madam if you would please give me your belongings; I will be holding onto if for you. And...”

“... As for our esteemed guest, Mr. Stewart, if you would please remove your clothing we will begin immediately.” Lotus added.

And just like that Jon was once again in the mind set that coming here was a bad idea.

“W-wait what!” Jon lifted his hand in protest as he briefly looked at his old suit. “You want me to take all my clothes off!?”

“Yes, indeed.” Lotus admitted while making a hoof gesture to indicate that it was no big deal. “We require you not wear anything while we...”

“... attend to your cosmetic needs.” Aloe finished. “After all, it would be quite difficult to apply some of our techniques while you're wearing that suit, no?”

As much as what they were saying was indeed true, Jon just couldn’t bring himself to see things their way. Another thing Jon learned about Equestria very early on was that humans and ponies had very different stances of the subject of nudity with virtually every creature he ever saw walking around without anything to cover up the more indecent regions. For the most part it didn't seem like such a thing mattered to them, but as a human Jon’s sense of modesty was not so easily interpretable.

“I’m sorry, but no! This is where I draw the line.” Jon said, much to the twin’s surprise. “I know you folks do things differently here, but I am not walking around naked like a... well like a pony.”

In response to this the two sisters chuckled among themselves which only made Jon feel more insecure about their request.

“Oh, Mr. Stewart there is no cause for embarrassment of something so natural.” Lotus advised, her grasp of the situation less than amicable than Jon expected. “But you are our guest so...

“... if you feel so strongly about our procedures then we can accommodate you with some form of covering.” Aloe assured him.

“Reeeaaaallly.” Jon said sounding as skeptical as possible. “You're going to give me something to cover myself with?”

“Of course.” Aloe nodded. “We can provide you with a bathrobe or at the very least...”

“... A towel to cover your... Oh.” Lotus said now having realized what Jon was hinting at.

For someone of Jon’s size and bone structure there was no way the spa sisters had a bathrobe big enough, or the right shape for which to properly fit him with. Even their largest towel, which was big enough for a pony to use as a blanket wouldn’t even be enough to go around his waist. The twins were now in a situation where they had no idea how to proceed, which wasn’t something they were used to. Fortunately they were saved by their most loyalist of customer.

“Do not fret my dear Aloe and Lotus,” Rarity interjected as she rummaged through her designer bag. “For I have taken it upon myself to prepare for such an event.... may I present to you all a Rarity original!”

Using her magic she produced a large bathrobe from her pouch complete with a hood and the initials “JSL” over the heart. The way she held it with her magic the arms and hood were spread as if some unseen force was occupying it. From where everyone stood it was exactly Jon’s size right down to the shoulders and even a little extra room around the stomach region.

Amazed by this unveiling Jon ran his hand across the surface to feel the fabric which, like the new suit he hadn’t yet worn, was top of the line.

“How... when did you have time to make this?” Jon asked.

“Why, when I was making your suit of course.” Rarity answered. “I had some extra material laying around so I thought I’d whip up a little something extra for you since I already had your measurements.”

Ignoring for the moment that it seemed she had the idea of dragging him to the Spa all along Jon had just one grievance about the wardrobe he felt needed to be addressed.

“Just one question, Rarity.” He said.

“Yes, darling?” She asked.

“Why... is it pink.” He asked in a tone of voice that only dogs could hear.

“Oh well it’s quite simple really.” She said as she used her magic to make the bathrobe hug up against him for a better comparison. “Pink is SO your color!”

Jon could already hear the laughter from his friends and family, if he were to ever wear this thing outside of Equestria. Jon was no expert on fashion but he knew that no self respecting male would be caught dead wearing this thing; needless to say he disagreed with Rarity’s choice of color, but it would seem he was outnumbered.

“Oh, Madam Rarity it is simply magnificent!” Aloe complemented. “The texture, the craftsmareship...

“... the attention to detail and of course the correct use of color.” Lotus added. “It is without a doubt the most beautiful thing we have ever seen.”

“Oh you're just saying that!” Rarity proclaimed.

“Oh no, no, no, we only speak the truth!” Lotus assured her.

“Indeed we do!” Aloe added. “Madam Rarity truly, without a doubt, the most talented seamstress in all the land!”

“Why thank you girls!” Rarity blushed. “I do have a keen eyes for such things I suppose.”

As the three ponies compliments soon transitioned to idle giggles among themselves Jon held the bathrobe over his shoulder and watched as he was slowly starting to understand his future guest a little bit more.

“Yeesh, I can see why she likes this place so much.” He thought as Rarity soon turned her attention back onto him.

“Now than Jonathan, do be a dear and go change.” She said. “We mustn’t keep our dear friends Aloe and Lotus waiting any longer than they need to.”

To show their understanding both sister’s bowed their heads and motioned for Jon to a pair of standing curtains for which he could change behind.

“Alright, alright I’m going.” He said as he rounded the designated changing area.. “But I’m keeping my boxers on... lord knows I might need to leave something to the imagination.”

Jon was unaware of just how right he was in this assumption; he just didn’t know that for all the talk of relaxation and gentle pampering he would be experiencing very little of either. Needless to say things were only going to get worse from here.