chapter 2 -Alex
I woke up in a cloud. The beautiful, starry, night sky sprawled out before me. “Well how in the fuck did I get here?” I wondered.
“You are in a dream,i,” said a voice behind me.
I turned around to find myself face to face with Princess Luna. “OH SHIT MAN, NOW I CAN FULFIL MY FANTASIES!”
She stared at me peculiarly, “I CAN USE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE AS WELL, HOW DID YOU GET TO EQUESTRIA?”
I knew I had to play it cool, “Hey there babyyy I’d like to raise your moon any night.” I gave her a wink.
“What do you mean?
Only my sister or I possess the power to raise the moon and the sun.”
I had her now, allI had to do was seal the deal, “You wanna do some magic later? I know a spell that casts white magic from my horn.” I said as I nodded slowly and smiled at her.
She looked even more confused now, “I know not of any spells that summon white magic, now answer my question, how did you get to Equestria?”
Oh yeah, she wanted the D for sure. I leaned in close and kissed her while giving her a smack on the ass. She jumped back in shock. “Why has thou kissed me?! And you struck my flank too!” She said while blushing furiously.
“Did you enjoy that too baby? Yea I know what you like.” I leaned close once more and wrapped my arms around her, I stroked her mane and whispered into her ear: “No sacrifice, No victory.” I then proceeded to lick her horn from the bottom up in a long stroke. Her body quivered uncontrollably as she stared at me in shock. I went to lick her horn again but she threw me off of the cloud and I fell to the ground and woke up.
-Luna
I awoke in my bedchambers in a sweat. “What a peculiar dream,” I said. I got up out of my bed and stretched. I wandered over to my mirror and couldn’t help but look at my horn. “White magic he said? From a horn? That must have been why he licked mine. He wanted my white magic!” I glanced in the mirror again. “Well, I must extract my white magic so people like him can’t take it from me!” I called my sister into my room. I told her about the strange encounter in my dream and about how we must protect our white magic from others. “So I need you to get the white magic out of my horn so I may keep it safe,” I said. “Yes, I would do anything for you sister, but could you perhaps get my white magic out as well?” “Of course,” I said, I only want the best for my sister and I. “So lets start then, I believe it went something like this.” I licked Celestia's horn just like the human did to me. I felt her shiver as I went for a second lick. Her horn began to shoot a sparkly goo all over and some even landed on my face. I began to lick faster to get all of the magic out but suddenly a royal guard burst into the room. “MY HIGHNESSES I HAVE IMPORTA-- ehhhh what are you doing?”
I looked over at the guard “We are extracting each other's’ white magic so that thieves may not take it” I said.
The guard smirked “Oh really? Because to me, it looked like you were giving her a horn job.”
“A what?” Celestia asked.
“It’s a sex thing, ya know, one pony sucks the others horn and then their horn ejaculates magic basically.” He said. I looked at Celestia, my mouth open in shock when some of her magic that had landed on my head fell into my mouth. I vomited and flew across the room at the same time in a fit of disgust. Celestia just stood in shock, partially covered in vomit, and fainted. As I stared across the room at my vomit trail then I realized what the human was trying to do to me…
-Jarod
Alex squirmed on the ground and made noises as though he was very poorly seducing someone. “I’d like to raise your moon,” he mumbled. I just shook my head and pulled a sharpie out of my pocket. I knelt down and drew a penis on his forehead. Andy started crying because it was black and a penis. After a few minutes of me laughing and Andy weeping Alex finally awoke. “C’mon ya silly faget, get up, you were talking about raising people’s moons while you were sleeping,” I said.
“WER BIST DU?”Alex yelled.
“What?” I asked.
“BIST DU BLOD? ICH BIN DEIN FUHRER! DU MUSST HEIL MICH!” He screamed.
“Whaaaaddddaaaafaaaeeqqq? Alex, you don’t speak German.” I said, rather confused as I didn’t think Alex, of all people, could speak German.
“A new personality your friend has gotten, and it appears to be rather rotten.” Said a familiar voice. I turned around to see Zecora standing behind me.
“Good! You’re here, can you fix this?”
“I could translate for you what he says, but for me, you would have to-”
“Cut the shit Zecora, we all know you don’t have to rhyme, just tell us how to fix this.”
Suddenly in the deepest, blackest voice, Zecora said “If I don’t rhyme I sound like this. Now, you gotta go do somethin’ for me if you wanna be able to understand yo friend her.”
Andy whimpered because it sounded just like the black man’s voice.
“Sure, whatever, what do you want?” I asked
“You gotta kill the bitch ass apple horse, she and her family have always been racist toward me. I've taken ‘nuff of her shit. I want you to kill her ratchet ass.”
As she said that, Hitler/Alex (Hitlex) sat up with a huge grin and said “Wir ver wen den das GiftGas!”
I sighed, “He said ‘we’re using the poison gas.’”

Author's Note

fuck rhyming that shit suck and its hard to do :D
comment and fav :D
and give me lots of hate :D