Chapters It was an ordinary day in the Canterlot Castle. Birds chirped outside, servants bustled about and guards marched back and forth through the hallways. It was lunchtime, and the servants were busy rushing food to the nobility and, more importantly, royalty in the castle. Celestia sat in her bedchambers, sipping tea and conversing with her sister as they waited patiently for their lunch.
Celestia had just recieved a message from Zecora, who had come all the way to Canterlot to relay a message from her homeland. It turned out that a tribe on the Zebrican Plains required four cut amethysts to make a super-telescope, able to see planets orbiting other starts clear as day. Celestia had a personal collection of gemstones, and would be glad to send some, but her sister thought otherwise.
"But sister," Luna asked, "Why do the Zebra Tribes want amethysts? Can they not mine it themselves?"
"You don't understand, Luna," Celestia replied. "The Zebras are not only primitive, but their lands are almost deprived of any precious gems. It would be extremely hard to make a telescope of rocks and dirt, hm?"
"Yes sister, but I don't see why they need gemstones to make this telescope. Can they not use glass?"
"Well, they could. But they want amethyst, since they provide much better magnification than other gems and glass."
"I see," Luna mumbled as a servant hustled through Celestia's door with a tray of two wonderfully crafted daisy sandwiches.
"Here y'are, milords," The servant said before hurrying out of the room.
"I still think it's pointless," Luna mumbled. "Amethysts don't grow on trees."
"I'm sure we can spare a few," Celestia responded, before grasping her sandwich and raising her glass to Luna. "Cheers."
The sisters happily chowed down, not bothering with manners since they were practically alone, and Celestia didn't expect the lone guard in the room to go around telling everyone her naughty pleasures. Several minutes of talking and eating later, Celestia bid Luna farewell and trotted out to the throne room, where she sat regally, awaiting any petty affairs that dragged themselves onto her doorstep.
Hours later, when none came, she decided that now would be a good time to send the four amethysts to the Zebrican tribe that had messaged her earlier. Turning to one of her guardsmen, she lightly tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn and face her.
"Yes, your highness?"
"Great Flame, there's no need to call me that when nopony's around," Celestia chuckled. "But could you please go and retrieve four amethysts from my bedchambers?"
"Right away, your highness." Great Flame trotted off and returned moments later, a small pouch in his mouth.
Celestia took the bag in her magical grasp and thanked her personal guard before setting the bag in front of her. In her mind, she began thinking of ways to get the bag to the Zebra tribe. She knew where it was on the globe, but it would take weeks to get it there by mail. Dragonmail was far too pricy, even for royalty, and finding dragons who could do it was challenging and risky. She could use her message-sending spell, but she could only send it to Spike and other magically-hatched dragons.
Think, Celestia. Think. Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. Oh! Idea...
Celestia remembered a spell her sister had taught her when they were little. It was a portal spell, used to link two places together with two small portals. Luna had specifically told her that using it was risky, as it drained quite a bit of one's energy. So much, in fact, that only alicorns could pull such a task off. Since she was the strongest being in Equestria, or so she thought, she decided that this would be a good way to send the amethysts to the Zebras.
"Servant!" Celestia called. Instantly, a servant arrived at the foot of her throne. "I'm going to cast a spell that is potentially dangerous, so make sure nopony interrupts me while I'm doing it."
"Yes, your highness." The servant trotted off and exited the throne room quickly.
Celestia then began conjuring the spell. As she did, her horn began glowing brighter and brighter, eventually causing several of the guards to slightly squint. A dark blue sphere began to form in front of Celestia. It grew to the size of a pony's head. As it grew, it began sucking air through it and making a loud roaring sound, somewhat like a harsh wind. Celestia levitated the bag of amethysts towards the portal as many of the guards and servants in the room gawked in awe at the anomaly before them.
"Off you go!" Celestia called over the roaring of the portal, tossing the bag of amethysts towards the portal.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" A voice roared.
"AAH!" Celestia yelled as the bag soared into the portal.
The portal then shrank out of existence, but not before flattening out somewhat and shifting from blue to black.
"Oh, for my own sake, what?" Celestia asked, annoyed. She glanced towards the doorway, where none other than her personal protege Twilight Sparkle stood.
"Oh my goodness!" Twilight said. "I'm so sorry, I thought you were being attacked!"
"Well, I wasn't," Celestia replied, regaining her calm posture. "What is it, my student?"
"I've come to deliver my friendship report in person. I've learned a very valuable lesson today when Discord lost his temper at Fluttershy!"
"Well then," Celestia smiled warmly, "Let's hear it."
"Dear Princess Celes-"
Twilight was cut off as the portal from before suddenly tore open the air in front of Princess Celestia again.
Skyrim
It was another boring day of guard duty. Milvar was standing at his post just outside of Whiterun. In the distance he saw a farm. Then snow. Then a mountain. Covered in snow. Then a large field. White from snow.
Snow. Snow snow snow. The white stuff was cold, wet, and worse: it was everywhere.
"Gods, it's cold."
Milvar admitted it to himself. He hated Skyrim. He hated everything about it. First he was adventuring through Morthal when a prison break occured. A stray arrow hit his knee, crippling him and having him sent to guard Whiterun from Imperial attack.
Then, a tall man wearing black, spiky armor came over to him and shouted at him. No, not that kind of shout. He Shouted at Milvar, sending him flying hear over heels into a wall. When Milvar produced his battleaxe to confront the dark man, he uttered one word. Thane. He hated the Dovahkiin.He always used that excuse.
Then a dragon flew overhead, sending the people of Whiterun into a panic as said strange man downed the beast with a volley of arrows. Now not only was his assailant getting away with crimes, but he had left a giant, heavy skeleton for Milvar and the Stormcloaks to lug it out one bone at a time.
"Really, really cold."
Milvar rubbed his hands a little to warm them. It didn't do much.
"Yep."
Milvar hated Skyrim. A lot. It was cold, filled with dragons, bandits and an annoying caravan of Khajiit that stopped by now and then. And then there was the cold. Milvar sighed.
"Gods, send me somewhere warm!"
His wish was granted quickly as a dark, roaring hole tore open in front of him, sucking him into oblivion.
Naughty Bear
Come on. Just a little closer. That's it, you bumbling fat moron. Come to papa.
Naughty crouched in a garden, holding a set of fake leaves in front of him. His target, Chubby, was supposed to be going on holiday today. Well, was to be going on holiday. Paradise Island was a warm getaway for bears, but that wasn't where Chubby was going! He was going somewhere much hotter. A place full of fire, demons and suffering.
Chubby was almost five meters from Naughty's hiding place. He fiddled his paws nervously, checking behind him frequently to hopefully reveal the killer that had murdered Cuddles. And Happy. And all the other bears in the vicinity. Chubby also murmered to himself, as if in prayer to the Unibear that the murderer wouldn't suddenly jump out and scare him.
Just a little more... Yeah, that's it... Come on...
Naughty drew a deep breath as Chubby Bear drew nearer and nearer to the garden where Naughty was hidden. Closer. Closer... Cloooserrrr...
"BOOOO!"
The scene that set in afterwards was hilarious. Chubby was sent into an insane scramble for safety. Being the only one left alive in the area, Chubby was virtually defenseless. He always carried his revolver, but he wasn't the best shot with it. He drew his revolver, firing wildly into the bushes where Naughty hid. Being a hardened veteran of violence, Naughty didn't even blink as a stray bullet struck the tree to his left, barely missing his head. When Chubby's gun let out a loud click, Chubby quickly fumbled into his pockets to search for the spare rounds that he always kept.
Now's my chance, Naughty thought. He dropped the fake leaves, stood up and walked menacingly out of his hiding place, revealing his signature machete and malicious smile. Chubby noticed him straight away and screamed at the top of his lungs, bolting for anywhere but there. Naughty chuckled to himself as he took off after the insane bear. He broke into a sprint, closing the distance between him and the screaming Chubby.
That's when it happened. A glimmering black portal tore open the air in front of Naughty, and with his momentum from sprinting after Chubby, he could do nothing but cover his face and hope for the best as he tumbled into the hole.
Star Fox
Fox sighed audibly as he lay in the sick bay's bed. He played with his blaster idly, spinning it around his finger like a cowboy would. He still wore his flight suit, minus the jacket. Instead, he wore a T-shirt, which donned a large, burnt hole in the abdominal area. Behind that hole, there lay another hole, however this one was in Fox's skin. Fox stopped spinning his blaster and slid it into its holster. He looked down, annoyed, and studied the bandage covering his stomach. It still hurt, and he flopped back onto the bed, annoyed. He turned his head to the right, eyeing the rabbit that sat in the chair beside him.
"Peppy, I told you, I'm fine!"
"Fox," The rabbit said sternly, "That laser just barely missed your kidney, and if you ask me, that's a good reason to stay in bed. Now, stop fidgeting and let me change these bandages."
Fox sighed audibly. Again.
A simple mistake. That's all it was. He was at the firing range when his blaster went off and hit him in the belly. Big deal! He'd been shot before, and he didn't need to lay down right then and there. Even if he always kept his cool, he still hated being bed-ridden in the Great Fox II.
Suddenly, Peppy pulled off the old bandages covering Fox's belly, sending a sharp pain through Fox's body.
"Ow." Fox glared daggers at Peppy.
Peppy shrugged as he began applied the new bandages to Fox's wound. Fox found his eyelids becoming heavy. He gave his head a quick shake to wake himself up. It wasn't that he hadn't fallen asleep next to his comrades, but the fact that this had been the first time he had relaxed in weeks drove him to sleep. Fox knew he was fighting a losing battle, and laid his head back on the pillow before promptly drifting off into sleep.
Only to suddenly wake up again.
This time, Peppy wasn't beside him when he woke up. Instead, Falco napped in the chair beside the medical terminals, snoring quietly. It seemed Fox has slept dreamlessly, and Falco the "tough guy" had taken Peppy's place at keeping watch over the injured Fox. Poor fellow. Even if he was Fox's best friend, even he couldn't stay up all night to make sure said friend was going to be all right.
Fox sat up, wincing at the lessened pain in his abdomen. Glancing down, he noticed his bandages had been changed again. A small red stain showed itself of the surface of the bandages, but the pain had died down rather nicely. It didn't hurt as bad as it did before, at least. Looking back up, he stood up and reached over to collect his jacket hanging on a hook by the door. Falco stirred slightly as his friend stood up, causing the bed to chair slightly. Fox smiled and slid his jacket on. Suddenly, Falco uttered something under his breath.
"Mmm... Krystal, you're so hot..."
Fox snapped his gaze towards his friend. He noticed a small smile forming on Falco's beak.
"And sexy, and vixeny..."
Fox's eyebrows lowered as his friend cracked one eye open slightly, fixing on Fox.
"And foxy, and furry..."
Fox smiled slightly as he leaned towards Falco. Falco suddenly burst out laughing and opened his other eye lazily. Fox patted his friend on the shoulder as he walked toward the sick bay door.
"I'm going for a little walk, Bird Brain," He said.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Falco mumbled as he sat up groggily, shaking the sleep from his eyes. "Just don't go stumbling into any walls, eh Fox?"
Nobody responded.
"Fox?" Falco called. He glanced around for any sight of the guy, but found that the room was empty.
"... Fluffy? Where'd ya go?"
Moonbase Alpha
"John Madden."
Horatio hopped slowly and surely across the surface of the moon.
"John Madden?" Julien asked.
"John Madden. Because soccer is for asterisk."
"Uhhh... Yeah."
Horatio and his friend Julien were goofing around on the moon, toying with their suit's voice modifiers and generally being nuisances to any other astronauts that were actually doing work. Today was their day off, so they decided to go for a short drive on the moon. Earth shined in the sky above them as they strided towards a rover that was sitting in the sunlight. Horatio and Julien climbed aboard.
"Let's go on adventure!" Horatio said, pointing into the distance.
Horatio plugged his suit's backpack into the driver's hatch. The rover (somehow) made a faint rumble as it started up, before its wheels whirred to life, sending the pair speeding across the lunar surface. Many rocks and bumps caused him to rock back and forth as he sped across the ground.
===LOL TIME TRANSITION===
Several hours later, the rover clunked to a halt. Horatio unplugged himself from the rover, stepped off and watched his friend hop onto the ground from the back of the rover. The pair regarded each other's mirror-like visors before turning towards the large cave opening Horatio had mentioned earlier.
"We're here!" Horatio announced. His suit's voice module made his voice sound as if it had come from more a robot than a human.
"Cool," Were Julien's only words. "I thought you were lying when you said there was a cave here."
They had never come across a cave before. It had an almost gloomy look to it. As soon as the cave's mouth started, the darkness started also. A quiet click resounded through Horatio's radio as his flashlight beamed to life, scaring away the darkness and revealing a deep, long tunnel. However, something caught Horatio's eye: A glowing, blueish-black portal was slowly starting to form at the cave's entrance.
"Julien, Julien!" Horatio's robotic voice droned.
"What now?" Said the astronaut, who had been too busy studying the rover to notice the portal expanding over the cave's mouth.
"Look!" Horatio yelled.
And look Julien did. In fact, they both looked for a minute before turning to eachother.
"I'm going inside," Horatio stated. He started walking towards the portal, only a few yards away from the rover.
"No! You don't know what's out there, you fool!" Julien took off after his friend, but his suit's bulkiness slowed him down.
"I'm doing it."
"Stop!"
"Doing it," Horatio said almost jokingly.
Without warning, Horatio was sucked violently into the portal a split second before it suddenly hissed shut, vanishing from existence. Julien was left to gape in awe at the disappearance of his soul-less friend.
"Well," Julien said, folding his arms. "You don't see that every day."
Celestia was the first to come to her senses. The first thing she knew was that something was broken. What or how it was broken didn't register in her head, as she soon realized she was trapped under something heavy. And furry. Then there was the smell. Something smelled like metal and sweat. Cracking an eye open painfully, Celestia saw in the dim light that whatever was covering her was... black. Pitch black. In fact, everything was pitch black. At first, Celestia thought that she had been blinded, but after the figure on top of her shifted, she could see outlines moving.
Sighing with relief, she attempted to shove the creature on top of her off. It wouldn't budge. It felt to be the same weight and size of her sister, Luna. No matter how hard Celestia tried, it wouldn't give an inch of clearance.
Something's wrong.
Celestia knew that alicorns had the benefits of all three pony races, the Earth Pony's strength being one. However, Celestia felt as if she had lost this ability. Reaching out with her telekinesis, she found that her magical grasp had been weakened greatly. Her face felt significantly wet, as if somepony had splashed a bucket of water on her face, much like Luna had done when they were younger.
"Sister?!" Celestia heard a muffled voice cry from somewhere. "Sister, where art thou?!" It was Luna!
"Luna, over here!" Celestia cried. She noticed that her voice had sounded parched, as if she hadn't drank anything in days.
Celestia heard several gasps and cries of shock, but she also heard the telltale sound of Luna's horn igniting. The figure on top of her was enveloped in a deep blue glow as Luna lifted her sister's assailant off of her. Light met Celestia's eyes, and Celestia saw Luna tossing... whatever it was... aside.
"Tia!" Luna cried, before rushing forward to embrace Celestia in a hug.
"It's alright, little sister. I'm fine."
Luna gave her sister a final squeeze before standing up and offering her older sister a hoof. Celestia kindly took her sister's hoof and heaved herself upright. Now standing on her hooves, Celestia smiled down at her sister. However, something else was painted on Luna's face. Instead of happiness, Celestia saw... horror.
Peering around the room, Celestia saw that emergency crews, guards and servants were all rushing about, tending to wounded ponies and searching for Celestia. Smashed pieces of rubble, glass and Celestia's throne littered the floor, strung about like a foal's messy room. Celestia suddenly noticed that all of the other ponies had stopped rushing about when they saw their Princess helped out of the rubble by her younger sister. Celestia was beginning to feel worried; all of the ponies now had their eyes glued to Celestia's face, staring in mixed expressions of fear, sadness and shock.
"What?" Celestia asked aloud. "What's wrong?"
Celestia checked over her body. Her chestpiece was dented in, as if a pony had smashed it with a hammer. Her crown was nowhere to be seen, and she was missing one of her regal horseshoes. Small cuts and bruises adorned her body, but they would heal. She felt blood trickling down her forehead, presumably from one of her small injuries.
"S-s-sister..." Luna stuttered out, tears welling in her eyes.
"What is it, Luna?" Celestia asked, now feeling a slight pinch of panic with her mixed emotions.
Luna pointed towards Celestia's face. Looking more closely, Celestia saw that Luna was actually pointing at her forehead. Celestia suddenly realized with dread why her magic and strength seemed taken away from her. Her eyes widening, Celestia forcefully snatched a piece of shattered mirror from her throne and held it up to her face. Her suspicions were confirmed instantly.
Her horn had been cleanly snapped off.
"Horseapples," She swore.
Celestia heard several cries of surprise as she fell to the castle floor, unconscious.
Twilight paced nervously around the outside door of Celestia's bedchambers. Luna was sitting against the wall adjacent to the door, her rump planted on a plump cushion. Her eyes were struck with worry, as were Twilight's. Several other ponies, including guards, servants and simply friends of Princess Celestia flanked the door on all sides. Inside was Celestia, presumably on her bed, being treated by doctors. When she had awoken from her unconciousness, she had remained strangely calm and even managed to get to her bedroom without any help from guards. Her horn had been retrieved from the floor, not too far from where Celestia had crashed.
Suddenly, the door to the bedchambers creaked open. A dozen pairs of eyes fixed on a single doctor with a lab coat, orange fur and an even oranger mane stepped out. His mane looked like it belonged on a muffin rather than on his head.
"Good news!" He exclaimed. "The princess is stable. She'll make a full recovery!"
Several sighs of relief echoed around the room. Twilight was the first to speak up.
"What about her horn? What happened?"
"Simple old horn break," the doctor replied smoothly. "We handle it all the time. Even if she's an alicorn, we can easily put 'em back on in a jiffy."
Murmurs of excitement and approval were heard amongst the small crowd. Luna leaned back against the wall happily, drawling out a long sigh.
"Great!" She said. "How long until she recovers?"
"About a week."
"What?!" Twilight shrieked, before quickly covering her mouth with a hoof, blushing profusely. "I mean, why?"
"Well," the doctor said, "She is an alicorn, and alicorns have a lotta magic. So we gotta keep her in bed for a week just to make sure she'll be alright."
"Look on the bright side, Twilight Sparkle," Luna said, patting Twilight on the back. "At least you will not have to write a friendship report to her this week!"
"Yeah..." Twilight mumbled. "That's what I was afraid of."
"Guards!" A voice called. All eyes turned to a single butler with a finely groomed mustache. "There are wounded in the throne room. We need all the help we can get."
Twilight bid a quick farewell to Princess Luna before trotting off, following the butler.
Milvar let out a loud groan as he woke from his slumber. His cold, metal helmet lay partially removed over his face, blocking his view and generally being a nuisance. His chest was in agony, like he had been punched by a troll, and his rump felt as if it was laying atop someone's dropped dagger. Moaning in pain, he reached under him to pull out... a shard of glass. How surprising. He suddenly heard several surprised gasps from around him.
Great! I'm saved!
"Hello?" Milvar called. "Who's there?"
Whimpers and the scuttling of boots was all he heard. Perhaps he had been carried out to be buried, only to wake up again. It's not everyday you walk away from being sucked into a daedric realm.
"Answer me, please," He moaned. His pained chest forced him to stay relatively quiet. "I'm a guardsman."
Milvar caught hushed voices and whispers.
"... seen anything like it..."
"... some kind of evil beast..."
"... think it's male..."
"... but I think it's alive..."
"Please!" Milvar called, before groaning in pain. "I'm still alive, just hurt. I won't hurt you."
Milvar felt someone poke his side with something hard. Thinking quickly, he snatched whatever it was and heaved himself upright with it. His partially removed helmet slid down thanks to gravity and, at last, he could see!
... And now he wished he couldn't see.
Flanking him on all sides were tiny, multicolored horses. Some bore clothes, some bore armor and spears, while some were completely naked. He said nothing, for fear of scaring the creatures off. He saw that what he had grabbed hold of was a spear, and now he was leaning on it, blade pointing down.
The first thing he thought was that he was in a dream, and that he could wake up. After a few moments of him thrashing about, caring not about the multicolored horses that were staring at him with awe, he found that he wasn't dreaming. He could be in a daedric realm, but he never heard of a prince that held pastel horses as pets, let alone ones that wore clothing. Then again, he could've just been going crazy.
"U-u-uhm... excuse me?"
Milvar whipped around, reaching for his battleaxe, only to find it missing. Not that it mattered, he was skilled in fist fighting as well. However, instead of finding a priest or bandit facing him, he found a purple... horse . It was similar to the others, but now Milvar realized that it had a horn on its forehead, much like a unicorn from ancient folklore. It sounded female, and it had a very peculiar tattoo on its left flank.
"Uhh... Was that you?" Milvar asked, pointing to the lavender unicorn.
"Y-yes. It was me." The unicorn backed away nervously as Milvar stretched his sore chest muscles.
"You know, I'm not scared of you," Milvar said, turning his head toward the unicorn, his helmet's black, lifeless eyes staring into her soul. "If I'm in a daedric realm, so be it. I might as well accept it."
The unicorn stood bewildered. "Daedric whatnow?"
"A daedric realm," Milvar repeated. "Isn't that where I am, apparition?"
"Nooo..." The unicorn replied. "You're in Equestria. Canterlot, to be exact."
"Yeah, sure," Milvar said. "I've gotta get off the skooma... Been having creepy dreams like this for weeks now."
"Skooma?" The unicorn questioned again. "I don't - but..."
Milvar felt his chest muscles unravel deliciously as he finally worked out the kink that had been causing him agony since his arrival into... wherever he was. Equestria, had she called it?
"Uhh... So, um, who are you?" The unicorn asked.
Milvar chuckled; it was as if the hallucination had never seen a human before. "I'm Milvar. And you, mule?"
"Pony!" The unicorn corrected. "I'm Twilight Sparkle... And it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Milvar."
"Indeed," Milvar scoffed.
Turning his head to observe that a furry... thing was lying in the middle of the room, but there were too many ponies crowded around them to see it clearly.
"So," Milvar asked, staring into the distance. "How long will this hallucination last?"
"Hallucination?" Twilight asked.
"Yes, hallucination."
"Umm..."
"Well?"
"This isn't a hallucination."
"What?" Milvar turned his helmed head towards Twilight menacingly.
"I'm afraid this is all entirely real."
Milvar stood, astonished. The crowd of ponies around them had dispersed somewhat, leaving only a few armed guards and Twilight to stare at Milvar in anticipation. Milvar knew that every time he asked if he was dreaming, his mind told the truth. After asking himself several times if this was real, he confirmed it.
It was all real. He was surrounded by pastel, candy-flavored horses with wings, horns and pictures on their butts.
"I'm going to need some ale..."
"Ale? What's-"
Their conversation ended as small gasps of surprise erupted in the center of the room.
"Milvar," Twilight said nervously. "Are you fine by yourself over here? I'm going to find out what's going on by that group of ponies."
After a nod from Milvar, Twilight galloped over to the small crowd and pushed her way in.
Moaning loudly, Naughty's senses slowly returned to him. First his smell, then his hearing, then his feel.
The smell of sweat, ale and rust assaulted his sensitive nose. Even if he was a teddy bear, he could still smell a piece of steak a mile away. He'd never smelled anything like this before, but he easily recognized the smell of rust as blood. Blood wasn't common on Perfection Island, but he'd seen it in some horror films and smelled it once when he defluffed Cherry. By the Unibear, he hated Cherry.
The quiet murmur of several voices surrounded him. He heard fear, anger and sadness in their voices. He'd heard other bears talk before, but never like this. He could understand what the voices were saying, but at the same time, he didn't. It was like the high-pitched babbling of his sword enemies had been replaced by male and female versions of the voice he constantly heard in his head. Minus the accent.
The feel was pain. Constant pain. Naughty felt as if his entire body had been torn asunder, with bits of fluff hanging from every orifice on his body. He also felt several pokes and prods of curious bears around him.
Naughty took all of this into consideration.
I must be in some kind of parallel dimension filled with strange, otherworldly bears! They probably want to gut me and eat me for supper!
Naughty tried to jump up, but only succeeded in slightly jumping a bit, as if he had been jolted awake by a bad dream. An idea quickly formed in Naughty's head. Gathering as much air into his lungs as he could, he let out his loudest scream possible.
"... Boo."
Pathetic.
The voices around Naughty escalated in surprise as he tried again and again, to no avail. Naughty was exhausted, and instead of trying to jump up and murder everybear in the vicinity, he decided to play it safe and slowly open an eye. Maybe these bears were friendly, and would give him cake or somethin'?
Bright light attacked Naughty's right eye as he opened it slowly. Becoming accustomed to the light, he began to make out something in front of his face. Something... purple? Something... furry? Something... with really big eyes? As he blinked the tears of pain from his eyes, he saw what it was more clearly now.
Not that it mattered. Whatever it was, it jumped back in surprise as Naughty gasped in equal alarm.
It was a horse. A very deformed horse. Naughty had read about them in his children's books. Tall, quadrupedal creatures with funny tails and faces. They looked like Beara Jessica Parker, but this horse didn't. It was purple with huge eyes and a small horn jutting out from its forehead, much like the Unibear. In fact, he'd read about this creature before. Unicorn, if he recalled correctly.
What? You didn't expect Naughty to have no college education, did you? Of course he did! I'll have you know Naughty went to Bearopolis National Institute of Mythology, and... Ah, whatever. Back to the story.
"Hello?" The unicorn said.
Naughty grunted in response. He didn't know how, but for some reason he could understand what it had said.
"Are you alright?" It asked, leaning in closer to Naughty.
This elicited a growl from Naughty.
"I'll take that as a no..." Twilight said. "Would you like some help?"
Naughty had never really needed help in his line of work. Though he'd had his fair share of injuries, none had ever really needed anyone to help him. He could always solve his own problems. But now, with the immense headache and unreliable reflexes, Naughty wasn't sure if he could even breathe on his own. He nodded reluctantly at the strange unicorn in front of him.
Then, Naughty felt himself being helped upright by a strange force. He turned his head painfully and saw that nobody was holding him, but he was instead held in a queer purple forcefield. Judging by the same purple field around the unicorn's horn, Naughty guessed that she was the controller of the creepy purple film. When he was finally upright, he felt the fluff in his head flow downward, clearing his cloudy vision and reducing his headache somewhat. When he felt he could stand on his own, he grunted at the unicorn. Instantly, the field diminished and Naughty found himself standing on his own again, nodding gratefully to the unicorn that had helped him up.
Out of nowhere, strange new feelings erupted in his stomach.
What's this tickly feeling in my tummy? It's like I'm floating on a cloud of rainbow butterflies... Weird.
It didn't matter, as the unicorn was now walking cautiously towards him.
"Better?" She asked, smiling brightly. Naughty gave a curt nod in response. "Great! Now I can introduce myself."
Oh boy.
Naughty was never good at introductions. He'd never had a true friend before, and the only bears he really knew were his parents, who were long gone by now. Any bears he'd tried to make friends with had only ever laughed, stared or shrieked at his appearance. However, this unicorn, this friendly unicorn, didn't seem to want to hurt his feelings. Instead he saw a kindred spirit and a smile staring back.
Naughty had a good feeling about this unicorn.
"I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal protege of Princess Celestia and the Element of Magic. Welcome to the Pony land of Equestria!"
Equestria? What the fluff?
Okay. Naughty was no new guy to creepy stuff. He'd seen bears torn apart by zombies, sliced open by chainsaws and beaten to death with telephones. But never, ever, had he left the safety of Perfection Island.
Except for that one time to Paradise Island, but that was a one-time thing.
Now he was in a completely different land, filled with talking horses and Unibear-knows-what.
"Hello?" Twilight asked, snapping Naughty out of his trance. "Can you speak?"
Naughty nodded his head. To be honest, he wasn't much of a talker, but he could speak much like any bear would. And if he could understand whatever language Twilight was speaking, he was sure he could speak it too.
"Yeh." Was Naughty's only word. His voice sounded as if it belonged to a biker bear.
"Alright, what's your name then?" Twilight asked. Naughty peered around nervously before speaking again.
"... Naughty."
"Naughty?" Twilight asked.
"Naughty."
"Well," Twilight mumbled. "That's an... interesting name. Where are you from, Naughty?"
"Perfection Island." Naughty's face took on a bored expression. He hated talking to other bears, or in this case, ponies.
"Where's that?" Twilight questioned again.
Naughty sighed. "I dunno."
"Well, Naughty, you're welcome to stay here with us pony folk until we find you a way home, okay?"
"Fine by me," Naughty's gruff voice said. "Long as I'm left alone. Last thing I want is a horse kicking my door in."
"Errmmm... Oookay, sure! I'll leave you be for now. If you ever need a guide, or just a friend, I'll be right here!"
"... Friend?" Naughty asked, turning to Twilight suddenly. "You're... my friend?"
"Sure!" Twilight beamed. "I'll gladly be your friend."
Naughty finally smiled for the first time in his life.
"Now, there's another fellow over there," Twilight said, pointing towards a tall creature in blue and gray armor. "I suggest you get acquainted. You might not get home for a little while."
Naughty nodded before waving goodbye to the pony and lumbering over to the large, muscular man.
Yeah, he had studied humans too.
Day 1: Meet n' Greet, Part II
Fox was dreaming of Krystal again. But this time, he knew he was unconscious; A lucid dream. He knew that he had been sucked into some strange, black portal before everything went blank, thus rendering him here, asleep. Fox was getting bored. It wasn't that he couldn't create his own dreamscape, but trying to wake up when you couldn't was a tad worrying. So, Fox spent his time waiting by creating funny scenes in his mind with his crew. The dreams ended abruptly, however, as he felt pain rise from nowhere, creeping up his entire body and jolting him awake.
After waking up, fox jumped slightly at the feeling of something smack against his nose. The pain from the dream was gone, but Fox still felt pain in the area where he had clumsily shot himself. And on his face, presumably from falling out of the strange portal he had stumbled into. Judging by the hard cement floor he was staring at, face down, he guessed he was somewhere on a road or balcony. Turning around slowly, Fox was now staring at a bright, blue sky. Birds were chirping, and the fluffy little clouds slowly swept by in the breeze. The air wasn't hot, but warm, signaling that wherever he was, it was around early summer. Fox sighed at the seemingly magic atmosphere, and felt more relaxed than ever that he wasn't being shot at. Deciding to find out where he was, Fox decided to sit up.
Bad idea.
Yowling in pain from his now-reopened laser wound, Fox mentally slapped himself Fresh blood coursed down his belly and into his shirt and fur. Wincing in pain, Fox gave his head a shake, clearing his buzzy mind, and took a good glance around.
He was on a balcony of some sort, as he expected. He was in front of a large wooden door, a few feet taller than him and emblazoned with a gold picture of a sun on it. It was slightly ajar, but Fox found himself too hurt to try and walk. Instead, he decided to crawl-slide over to the balcony rail and prop himself up on that, grabbing onto a nearby telescope for extra balance. With some effort, and a bit of pain, he was standing again, staring over the edge of the balcony.
Whoa. What a drop.
The balcony looked to be atop a tall white tower, hundreds of feet from the ground. Beside him, the telescope gave under his weight, tipping down and nearly sending him over the railing. Deciding to play it safe, Fox instead leaned on the railing, which he knew would not move. In the distance, he could make out several small towns, with small smoke stacks rising from rooftops. He also saw some bird-like creatures flying nearby, but they were too far away to get a good look at.
Standing upright, Fox decided it was time to play Ambassador and see where he was. Limping towards the door, he noticed that his blaster had been dislodged from his tool belt. Searching around frantically, he finally found it, balancing precariously on the edge of the balcony, just about to fall. He quickly kneeled down to pick it up...
[insert sudden gust of wind here]
Aaaand there it went, down a thousand feet to the cement castle rooftops below. A resounding crack signaled its destruction, and Fox could barely make out several pieces of it scattering about.
Wonderful! Now I'm lost, injured -and- defenseless.
Once again, Fox started towards the tall wooden door ahead of him. As he reached out with his paw to push it open, however, he heard voices from inside. Unable to make them out, he readied himself for whatever was ahead and lurched through the door.
He had entered what looked like a bedroom, complete with a fireplace and a coathook, which held several pieces of golden regalia of some sort. A bookshelf decorated the wall opposite of him, and a beautiful bed with bedposts reaching up to the ceiling was located to his left. Fox felt his wound bleed more, and decided that he needed help if he was to survive on this world.
Hearing a loud gasp, Fox snapped his head around and saw that two short equines stared him in the eye with shock plastered on their faces. They had remarkably huge eyes and wings poking through regal golden armor, along with spears lowered at their sides. They gasped when they saw just how tall Fox was compared to them. Recovering from their initial shock, they both raised their spears towards Fox and advanced on him.
"You there!" Shouted one. "Halt!"
Fox complied, raising one hand in the air while using the other to control his wound's bleeding. The second guard didn't look too impressed at this.
"Raise your other hand! Now!"
"I can't," Fox moaned. His voice was hoarse with thirst. "I'm bleeding."
"I said raise it!" The guard shouted, stepping another foot closer to the injured Fox.
"Enough!" A female voice called.
Both guards stood down instantly, backing away but not taking their eyes off of Fox. Curious, Fox looked around and saw that he had overlooked a lump in the royally-decorated bed.It was far larger than the other two guardsmen. Fox could barely make out another white creature laying under the covers, but one of the bedposts blocked his view, and he was in no position to move any closer to the armed guards. Even if he was skilled in martial arts, he was still injured, and he didn't want to get any worse.
"Blazing Spear, who's at my balcony door?" The voice demanded.
"I dunno, your majesty," Said the first guard. "Some sort of... alien." He shifted his spear cautiously.
"He looks like a dog!" The other guard stated.
"Nope," Fox corrected. "The name's Fox. And I'm a... well, fox."
"Well then, Fox, why are you on my balcony?" The voice spoke with a motherly tone; not upset, but high-held nonetheless.
"I have just as much a clue as you do, Mrs...?"
"My name is Princess Celestia, but you may call me Celestia," The voice said.
Fox saw the lump in the bed shift, covers slowly rolling down to reveal yet another white creature. This one, however, was much larger than the other two, with a very... colorful hairdo. Fox saw that Celestia had much larger wings than the other two guardsmen, and on top of that, she had what looked like a long, pointy horn sticking out of her forehead. Her colorful hair waved in the air, as if blowing in some ethereal wind. He noticed that her tail had the same traits. What really confused Fox, however, was the large, bulky bandage covering Celestia's horn. A warm smile covered her face and her eyes had a relaxing mood to them.
"Alright, Celestia..." Fox trailed off, leaning against a nearby wall for support. "What are you?"
"What am I? I am an alicorn," She stated proudly. "But I'll tell you more later. You're hurt."
Fox was surprised at this creature's sudden hospitality towards an alien creature. A race like this must've had several alien contacts before if she was this friendly towards him.
"I'll be fine, Celestia-"
"Princess Celestia, furball," The second guard said.
"Fine, Princess Celestia," Fox groaned. "I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need a way home right now."
"And where is home?" Celestia asked, shifting on her bed to a more comfortable position.
"Not really anywhere. I live on my starship called the Great Fox II."
"Creative name." The second guard rolled his eyes.
"Well, Mr. McCloud, I'm sorry, but the only one powerful enough to send you all home is me."
"Wait," Fox said, snapping his ears forward. "All of us? Did the others get here too?"
"Not quite, I'm afraid." Celestia unfurled a wing and dismissed her guards with it. The two guards made quick time. "You see, two others have been transported here along with you. My student, Twilight Sparkle, may know where they are if you wish to check."
"Thank you, your highness," Fox said, beginning to limp out the door.
"Ohh, no you're not," Celestia chuckled. "That wound looks bad. Come here."
Fox painfully changed course. He decided that he should probably follow the orders of another planet's princess if he wanted to stay alive. Arriving at her bedside, Fox got a better look at Celestia, and guessed that she must've been quite beautiful for her species. He saw her lower her eyes to his.
"I'm not supposed to do this, so don't tell anypony..."
Celestia lowered her head awkwardly to accommodate for Fox's short stature. He saw her face near his belly, then get ever so close to his...
His...
"Whoawhoaheyheyhey!" Fox said, hopping back quickly despite the agony it caused him. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Healing you," Celestia said. "And my magic's not very strong from this far. Come closer."
"Magic?! "
Fox was no stranger to magic. He'd seen it before, when he'd used Krystal's staff.
"Yes, magic," Celestia said. "Why? What did you think I was do-" Suddenly, she covered her mouth with a hoof, realizing just what it looked like to Fox. "Oh. Oh my."
Both parties stared at each other for a moment awkwardly before erupting into a quiet fit of laughter.
"Now that we got that out, get over here so I can fix you up."
"Are you sure you're okay to do this, your highness? Your horn doesn't look well." Fox stepped closer to Celestia's bedside.
"Trust me, I've healed ponies lots of times, and I was in a lot worse shape than this."
Fox moved his hand, removing the bandages and exposing the wound to Celestia. To her, it didn't look bad on the outside, but she guessed that whatever injured him must've gone a bit inside as well. Fox flinched slightly as Celestia's horn touched his sensitive skin.
Then that pain went away.
Looking down in surprise, Fox found that his wound had been completely closed. No more pain touched him when he moved around, and he patted where the hole used to be to be sure of it. Healed to perfection, as if it had never even happened. Fox looked up to see a smiling Celestia raising her head.
"Even if my horn's broken, I can still use my magic," She stated. "Um, somewhat. It's just not as powerful."
Fox nodded a response.
"Aren't you surprised?" Celestia asked.
"Your majesty, trust me," Fox chuckled. "If you'd seen half the things I'd seen, you wouldn't be surprised by anything for the rest of your life."
"Well, why don't I give you a little more of a surprise, then?" Celestia pulled Fox close with a wing. "I really know how to make a boy scream..."
Twilight had done well. All of the injured ponies now had their wounds dressed accordingly, and most of the damage to Celestia's throne room was repaired thanks to the many servants there to help her. She'd made two new friends, both from different lands, and said friends now sat on a staircase not too far from her. The two got along well, warming up to each other nicely and even joking around a bit, but she could still sense the fear that must be going through their heads. Being transported to a new world tended to do that to you. Checking something off of a very, very long checklist, Twilight did a little hop in place and decided to reward herself for how well she'd done.
It'd been a while since she'd been to Donut Joe's Donut shop.
Practically prancing over to her two new friends, she cleared her throat to get their attention.
"Hey, you two," She said. "I'm going to grab a bite to eat. Want to come with me?"
"What kind of food?" Milvar asked. He'd been craving mead since he'd met Naughty.
"I was thinking, maybe donuts?"
"Donuts?" Milvar asked, tilting his helmed head. "What's a donut?"
"Ya mean ya don't know what a donut is?" Naughty asked, showing shock when Milvar shook his head.
"Can't say I do," Milvar sighed. "What is it? Is it some sort of food?"
"Only the best food you'll ever try!" Twilight chirped. "Come on!"
Grabbing Milvar's wrist with her magic, the three began their journey to the donut shop.
'Bout two seconds later :3
Milvar had never tasted a confection this delicious in his short life, and judging by what he'd seen in this strange land, he guessed it wouldn't be the last.
Revealing his face for the first time to his comrades, the ponies in the donut shop, including Naughty, paid no attention to the battle-scarred veteran as he literally tore a chocolate donut with sprinkles apart. Sprinkles flew this way and that, littering the trio's table. Donut Joe and several other surprised ponies watched on in awe as this strange alien devoured the donut with haste. When the donut was gone, Milvar's blonde beard had been painted brown and several sprinkles dotted it. Twilight and Naughty sat on the opposite end of the table in silence.
"Another," Milvar said. "These things are better than sweet rolls!"
Another donut, this time with pink frosting and a cream-filled center, was promptly bought and laid down on the table by Twilight.
It didn't last a minute.
The unlikely trio made it back to the Canterlot Castle in quick time. The sun was beginning to set, and few ponies remained in the streets to see a towering human and a giant teddy bear walk down the street. The guards were hasty to let the two alien creatures into their castle, but with a flutter of Twilight's eyelashes, they managed to get back inside without any further problems.
"Now," Twilight said when they had finally reached the throne room again. "I don't have a place for you to stay just yet, so you're welcome to stay with me until I can find you two a way home. Sound fair?"
Milvar and Naughty nodded in unison. Milvar's blonde goatee had been licked clean by now, not to mention his bulging belly barely managing to stay inside of his Stormcloak armor.
"Great!" Twilight said. "It'll be just like a sleepover! Uh," Twilight turned away for a bit. "But with boys. So I guess it's not really a sleepover."
"Nah," Naughty said. "I think it'll be more of a sleeping contest. I'm pooped."
"Me too," Milvar said. "I never want to lay eyes on another donut ever again."
"Well, let's go then!" Twilight skipped down a hallway to the left of the throne room, which led to a long corridor of doorways.
None of them noticed the astronaut-shaped hole in the throne room's ceiling.
Walking beside Twilight, the three were silent. They didn't really have anything to talk about besides Milvar's hunger and Naughty's past. Naughty didn't feel like revealing his old past to his new friends just yet. Perhaps when they were closer he would tell them. At last arriving at room number 406, Twilight magicked the door open and let the other two step inside ahead of her.
What Milvar and Naughty saw was a regally-decorated purple room with a high ceiling and two purple beds. A single writing desk was on the far wall and a doorway beside it led to a bathroom. A single window in front of the writing desk gave a view of the setting sun and Canterlot Labyrinth.
"We're here!" Twilight said, smiling. "It's not much, but I'm guessing you two can share a bed?"
The exhausted Milvar and Naughty sighed in defeat as they promptly fell upon opposite beds.
"H-hey! That's my bed!" Twilight tried to levitate Milvar off of her bed, but he wouldn't budge. "Fine then, you big ol' ape. Sleep in my bed." Twilight was about to levitate Naughty off of the other bed so she could sleep in it, but he was just too darn adorable when he was sucking his thumb.
Now it was Twilight's turn to sigh in defeat. Sigh. Deciding not to try her luck with waking the enormous beast of a Milvar, Twilight snuggled in beside Naughty and fell asleep in moments. It had been a long day indeed.
Fox gasped for air as Celestia rode up and down.
"Celestia! Oh, oh!"
Up and down, up and down.
"Please, princess! No more! I give!"
Celestia made strange noises as she increased her pace. She looked Fox in the eyes, giving him a strange look. Under her lay her victim, now half-buried in Celestia's fur. Under her lay a poor, defenseless...
Pillow.
"And then!" Celestia snorted. "And then, the poor fellow had to ride the darn thing all the way back! Ha!"
Fox pounded his thigh, roaring in laughter. Celestia was telling a story of how her student's brother, Shining Armor, had to ride a cart all the way home from Ponyville (Wherever that was) while sitting on top of a sack of potatoes.
Don't ask.
Fox and Celestia's combined laughter slowly died down as the last of Celestia's jokes were said. They'd been telling jokes and stories all night, with Fox's being funny and all, but not nearly as funny as Celestia's. She'd seen countless funny things over her lifespan, and Fox was more than happy to listen to them all. However, when Celestia peered at the clock, she noticed it was nearly midnight. Luna had set the sun for her tonight, so she had no worry about being late, but she still had to sleep.
"My my, Mr. McCloud, it's been a time and a half, but it's getting late."
"Yep," Fox said, standing up. "Where am I staying for the night?"
"Well, we have a few empty rooms downstairs if you want to chance it." Celestia blushed a little. "Or you could stay with me."
Fox decided it would be safer to stay with the princess. Making himself comfortable on the chair, he closed his eyes.
"Night, princess."
"What's this, now?"
Fox opened his eyes to find Celestia staring at him from her bed.
"None of that, now. Get over here." Celestia lifted her blankets, patting the spot beside her.
"Erm, Celestia, I don't think that's a good id-"
"Ohhh, guaaards~!"
"Fine, fine! Hang on..."
Fox crawled in beside the princess. Though he felt this was horribly wrong, he felt her warmth relax his tense muscles. Turning away from the princess, Fox made himself as comfortable as he could be while sleeping beside an ancient alien princess.
"Now can I sleep?" Fox asked jokingly.
Celestia chuckled. "Goodnight, Mr. McCloud."
"Just call me Fox, ma'am."
The two drifted off into a restful, totally non-sexual sleep.
Somewhere in the distance, a lone, elderly stallion pushed his broom across the streets of Canterlot. Rumors had told him that a meteor struck somewhere this night. Some even say it was an alien! But, rumors were rumors, and he dismissed them. Meteors burned up in the atmosphere all the time. Nothing ever hit the ground in his lifetime, and he doubted any would hit anytime soon. The stallion was sweeping up litter from beside a large fountain. Why couldn't ponies ever keep the streets clean?
With cleaning done for the night, the stallion packed up his custodian's cart and levitated his broom into its holster beside it. He was getting ready to head home, when suddenly he noticed something sticking out of the fountain.
It looked like a long wire at first, but then he noticed that it was moving underneath the surface of the water. He climbed up on the edge of the fountain to see what was going on, but couldn't make anything out in the darkness of the night.
"Heh, strange. Ain't ne'er seen anythin' like that 'fore."
He grabbed the wire with his telekinesis, pulling it upwards, but it didn't move at all. It felt like something much heavier was attached to this wire. Giving it harder tugs, he finally got some ground on the wire and it began lifting out of the water.
Suddenly, a gloved arm splashed out of the water, grabbing the stallion's uniform.
"What the hay?!"
The gloved hand made no movement, but the custodian saw that the wire was rising out of the water on its own accord, no longer in his grasp. It got longer and longer, until finally it ended and a white box started. Then came something else.
A helmet.
A body.
A set of arms and legs.
But the stallion was too frozen in fear to take his eyes off of this creature's golden, reflective visor. He could see himself reflected in the creature's gaze, and when it at last stopped rising out of the water, it yanked the stallion up close to its helmet. The stallion was in the air now, held only by his uniform.
"Hailp! Hailp! Demonspawn's got me! Hailp!"
The monster slammed the stallion into it. The stallion's face was now plastered on the demon's visor, staring into a cold, hateful stare that told of neverending misery and agony.
Then, it spoke with a voice that reminded the stallion of every horror movie he'd watched.
"John Madden."
"YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
The stallion's uniform tore at last, and he fell to the ground, wasting no time in scrambling to his feet and darting off into the night, screaming. The evil monstrosity stared after the stallion with an evil glare before starting off after the stallion, stepping down off of the fountain and lumbering down the street.
"Football."
Fox awoke with a jump. He'd had a nightmare, one of which he couldn't just make out. It was one of those weird dreams where you can't remember when you wake up. His back hurt, and he felt something warm wrapped around his midsection. Krystal? He couldn't remember.
Groaning, Fox slowly opened an eye. He was in a very fancy-looking...
Oh, yeah.
Now Fox remembered. He was invited to spend the night with Princess Cebrestia. No, It was Celetria. He'd somehow been teleported into a strange world by a mystic black portal, and even though he should have been in distress, he was relatively calm. He was stranded on alien planets before, and he knew what to do. Daring to turn his head, Fox saw Celetria's long, white arm wrapped around him like a teddy bear.
Wait. Did I... Did we...?
Fox very slowly slid out from under Celetria's arm and stepped out of bed. He found his jacket hung on the bedstand beside him. That was strange... He didn't remember hanging it there last night. Oh well. Reaching over, Fox pulled on his jacket and turned to face Celetria. Her hair was a frazzled mess of magical pastel rainbow. Then, he remembered. It was Celestia , not Celetria. And they certainly didn't do... that.
Fox didn't want to rudely awaken the princess of a foreign world just yet, so he took a seat in a chair across from Celestia's bed. This one had a simple mahogany table in front of it, and another chair across from Fox. Fox yawned quietly and looked out the window. Due to his natural tendency to wake up early, it was still dark outside. He guessed it was around 5:00 AM by the dim, red light shining over the horizon.
A few minutes later, a shift in Celestia's bed caught his eye, and he turned to see Celestia rising from her bed.
"Morning, Foxy Woxy," She mumbled. That caught Fox's attention.
Now he was wondering if they did it again.
"Erm... Morning."
"I see you're already up and ready to go?" Celestia cracked her neck and slid out of bed, slipping on her golden horseshoes.
"Ready for what?" Fox yawned.
"Why, for your introduction into Equestria, of course!"
"Oh, uh..." Fox stuttered. "I don't think I should really go into public just yet, your highness."
"Nonsense! I'll just get myself ready and..." Celestia remembered her snapped horn. "Never mind." Fox was secretly relieved by the fact.
"Sorry 'bout that, princess."
"No worries, Mr. McCloud. This isn't the first time I've been bedridden for a week."
"Oh?" Fox turned to Celestia.
"Nope. I've been injured lots of times, but due to me being... me, I always manage to get up and running in a short while."
"I see," Fox trailed off, peering out the window at the rising sun. "So, you mentioned before that you had a younger sister?"
"You mean Luna?" Fox nodded. "Yes, she's rising the sun as we speak."
"Is she anything like you?" Fox asked.
"Well, she spent 1000 years on the moon, so she's somewhat off-course."
If Fox had any coffee, he'd be spitting out gallons right now. He rose from his chair faster than a bullet. "A thousand years?!"
"Mm-hmm. She was... corrupted by an evil force and I had to banish her there."
"Wow, Princess Celestia, I knew you were powerful, but... but..." Fox began pacing around the room, trying to comprehend what 1000 years of solace must've been like. "How did she survive?"
Celestia winked at Fox. "Immortality, remember?"
"Y-y-yeah." Fox was short of words.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm just the narrator, but hey, I know lots of stuff. Fox has a cool attitude. Never gets angry, never gets scared by anything. He just puts his head to it, and gets his shift done. But now that Fox knew of Celestia's true power, he decided it was better to stay on the good side of the princess.
Fox's stomach growled, drawing Celestia's attention to him. Fox shook the thoughts from his head.
"Hungry?"
"Starving," Fox mumbled. "What's to eat?"
"Let's see, shall we?" Celestia trotted over to a small rope hanging next to her bed. Giving it a light tug, the faint jingle of a bell could be heard.
Not two seconds later, a mare trotted through the door. To Fox's surprise, she had a green coat and a darker green mane. Fox hadn't known ponies came in other colors. Maybe she was a rare breed?
"Yes, madam?"
"Breakfast, please," Celestia smiled. "And some for my guest as well."
The maid turned her gaze to Fox, who ushered a quick wave. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't run off screaming like Fox thought she would.
"Right away, your highness." The mare promptly trotted out of sight, silently shutting the door behind her.
Several minutes of chatting and growling stomachs later, a quiet knock was heard on Celestia's bedroom door. "Breakfast, your majesty!" It was a different voice. Female, but still different.
This time, instead of a green pony, Fox saw a pure blue coat and short black mane and tail come walking in. She was levitating a tray with her greenish-blue magic, covered with a shiny metal dome. Giving Fox a trivial glare, she trotted over to where Fox and Celestia sat, she set the tray down on the table and lifted the cover off.
"Dandelion salads, your highness, just the way you like them."
Fox's spirits immediately dropped. Just what he had feared.
"Enjoy." The blue pony said before ushering out of the room and shutting the door quietly behind herself. Fox and Celestia were alone again.
"Well?" Celestia asked, picking up her sandwich. "Dig in! Nopony's watching."
Fox twitched at the interesting quirk of language. "Uhhh..."
"What's the matter?" Celestia took a bite of her sandwich. "Don'f you like sanwiffes?"
"I do, princess, but... I don't think I can eat this." Fox pushed his plate towards the center of the table.
"Why not?" Celestia tilted her head.
"I eat food, not plants, if you know what I mean."
"Oh!" Celestia giggled. "How unfortunate. Would you like something else?"
"Sure. Got any ham?"
Celestia's sandwich dropped to her plate instantly.
"Oh. I see." Her voice sounded strangely nervous. "You're... one of them. "
"What?"
"A carnivore."
"Actually," Fox leaned closer. "I'm an omnivore."
Celestia avoided Fox's gaze. "I'm sorry, I'm just sort of unsettled by anything that consumes meat."
Fox was puzzled. Surely some creatures on this planet ate meat, right? Celestia must've heard of them, or seen them. Why was she so unsettled by the fact that Fox ate meat? Fox understood that, because Celestia was a peaceful, herbivorous creature, she must've been slightly creeped out by meat-eaters.
"How about something less meaty?" Fox joked. "Do you folk have anything else I might be able to eat?"
"We have apples," Celestia said, meeting Fox's eyes again. "Would you like one of them?"
"I would love one," Fox said.
A minute later, Fox was taking his second bite into the most delicious apple he'd ever tasted. When he was finished, he laid the core on his plate, which was promptly whisked away by a butler at the ring of a bell. Fox and Celestia chatted idly for a few more minutes before Celestia excused herself, sat up and trotted over to her balcony. Fox watched as she pulled the telescope he had seen earlier to her eye. She tilted it skyward, into the still-dark sky.
"Fox, come see this! Quickly!" Celestia's voice called to Fox from the balcony.
Hustling to his feet, Fox scuttled to the balcony beside Celestia just in time to see the sun starting to peek above the horizon.
"Now you'll see something spectacular," She whispered. "Watch."
Fox watched in awe over the next few minutes as the sun rose like he had never seen before. Although he'd seen many sunrises and sunsets before, he'd never seen the sun rise so quickly in his lifetime. Perhaps it was an irregular orbit, or asymmetrical planetary mass?
"Wasn't that something?" Celestia asked. Fox nodded in response. "Normally, it'd go a lot quicker, but Luna has been raising the sun for me."
Fox heard her say that before, but he'd dismissed it as a lie or a joke. But now, he'd seen it with his own eyes. Luna had raised the sun, and she was younger than Celestia. Just how powerful was Celestia? Suddenly, there came another knock on the door. Celestia walked over and opened it. In the doorway stood a tall, dark blue mare.
She was almost as sexy as Krystal. Maybe even sexier.
"Sister! I did it! I raised the sun, all on my own!"
Fox's ears pinned themselves against his head at the volume of the mare's voice. His view of Luna was out the window now.
"I saw, Luna," Celestia said, smiling. "It was even faster than last time. I'm very proud of you!"
"It's a lot heavier than the moon, Tia." Luna turned and noticed Fox. "My, who is this?"
"Luna, I'd like you to meet Fox McCloud. He's ended up in my bedroom by accident."
"Creative name." Luna smiled and waved.
A nickel for every time...
Twilight, Milvar and Naughty were prancing through a wide open field of tall grass and flowers. The sun was beginning to set, marking the end of another wonderful day. They'd played all day, discovering just how many colors butterflies came in and how many blades of grass were outside of the Canterlot castle, which was in the distance. Small puffy clouds floated in the sky.
Twilight was having a wonderful time; Milvar and Naughty held hands as they skipped gayly through the field, singing. Twilight sat upon a red and white plaid blanket, reading one of her favorite books. To her surprise, Twilight saw Milvar and Naughty heading towards her with the most beautiful flower she'd ever seen. She couldn't begin to describe it.
Heck, I'm the narrator, and even I can't describe it.
Twilight accepted the gift happily, levitating the flower to her nose and giving it a firm sniff. The smell of springtime filled her nostrils as she giggled, watching Naughty and Milvar make "grass" angels.
Drip.
A speck of rain landed on Twilight's nose. Looking up in surprise, Twilight found that she had completely missed the heavy black rainclouds rolling in. Twilight called out a warning to Milvar and Naughty...
Who were nowhere to be seen.
Sharp winds suddenly tore Twilight's book and flower from her grasp, throwing her from the blanket she was sitting on. She tried to scream, but no sound came out of her mouth. Rain was now slamming against her in all directions, throwing her this way and that. Then, something mysterious happened.
A tall, white... thing... rose from the earth, far in front of Twilight. It stood in a posture similar to Milvar, but it had a strange golden visor preventing anything from being seen inside. It towered over Twilight, who again could not scream for unknown reasons. She tried to run, but her legs wouldn't respond. The creature plodded closer to Twilight, who just now was realizing how tall it was. It looked to be taller than Celestia herself.
In the distance, the storm clouds never seemed to end. Darkness was covering the land, with lightning and harsh winds blowing every which way. The sky turned to red, and then, it happened.
Canterlot exploded.
Pieces of the castle and other buildings were seen flying outward from a huge fireball, crashing everywhere around Twilight, but seemingly missing Twilight and the tall white creature entirely. Once Twilight thought it couldn't get any taller, the creature slammed its gigantic hand onto Twilight, closing on her and lifting her face-to-visor with the evil human. It was at least the size of Canterlot now, and when Twilight was brought up to the creature's face, she could see herself reflected in its visor. A loud, rumbling, robotic voice emanated from the monster's body.
JOHN MADDEN.
Now Twilight could scream. It was the loudest, shrillest scream anypony had ever heard.
FOOTBALL. The monster began to crush Twilight with its enormous fingers.
PONY.
Twilight felt several bones snap under the pressure.
PONY.
Blood now squeezed itself from Twilight's mouth, nose and ears.
WAKE UP, PONY.
Everything faded to black as Twilight's eyes exploded out of her skull.
"Pony! Wake up!"
Twilight screeched at the top of her lungs as she scrambled against the wall for safety. Milvar stood in front of her bed, helmet missing and no shirt in sight, revealing his bulging muscles and manly chest hair.
"Pony, it's just me!" Milvar said, reaching out with both arms. "It was only a dream."
"A dream?" Twilight asked, voice trembling.
"Just a dream," Milvar repeated. "Must've been pretty bad; You were jumping around something fierce."
"Yeah..." Twilight's tiny heart slowed down as she regained her composure. "Where's Naughty?"
"He went to get us some breakfast." Milvar chuckled slightly, scratching his goatee. "You should've seen his face when he woke up next to you!"
"Oh..." Twilight blushed slightly. "I had to sleep somewhere."
"... True," Milvar said, walking over and sitting on his bed. "Still."
"Yeah." Twilight peered out the window to find that the sun was just beginning to rise. "You're up early."
"I always woke up early for guard duty," Milvar replied.
"You can go back to bed if you want," Twilight said. "I don't have any special duties for today."
"I'm fine."
"Suit yourself," Twilight mumbled, burying herself in the bed covers. "Nighty-night."
The door opened suddenly, startling Twilight. Peering out from underneath the blankets, she saw Naughty walkign in carrying a tray of various foods. Including donuts.
"Breakfast, Milvar," He spoke quietly. "She still asleep?"
"No, she's awake, just tired." Twilight heard shifting. "Twilight?"
"Mmm."
"Naughty's got breakfast here. Want some?"
Twilight reluctantly lifted the covers off of her and lazed off the bed. She saw that Naughty had taken her into thought, grabbing some hay fries. Not the best breakfast, but it would do. He'd also grabbed several donuts and some peanut-butter sandwiches. Also on the tray were several tall glasses of milk.
"Thanks," Twilight said. "And, uh, sorry about the whole sleeping next to you thing."
"Don't worry about it." Naughty smiled slightly. "I've been through worse."
The three ate breakfast, chatting quietly well into the day. Just as it was turning to noon, a knock came at the door.
"Twilight Sparkle?" Luna's voice was at the door. "My sister requests the presence of you and your... guests."
"Coming!" Twilight replied, hopping off the bed she had been sitting on all day. "We'll be out in a bit!"
Luna opened the door and walked in carefully, eyeing Twilight's two new friends with awe.
"I see you have adopted the aliens that nearly murdered my sister." Luna raised an eyebrow at the strange looks she was given by the two aliens.
Naughty couldn't keep his eyes off of her horn. It was much longer than Twilight's and probably sharper. Nestled behind it was a crown that looked expensive. She wore regal chest armor jet black in color and light blue horseshoes.
Milvar, however, was interested in her mane and tail. They sparkled like the night sky, waving in some weird ghostly wind. They drew him into a trance, reminding him of the night skies back in Skyrim.
"Can I help you?" Luna asked, glaring at Milvar.
"Your hair," He said, pointing. "It looks awesome!"
"Oh!" Luna turned away, her cheeks flushing red. "Thank you, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for you."
Milvar looked down at his hairy chest and beard. They weren't very well kept. Shrugging, Milvar took a seat on his beat.
"Princess Luna," Twilight said. "I'd like to introduce Naughty Bear and Milvar."
"Charmed," Luna replied, holding out her hoof. Naughty and Milvar shook it kindly. "You're the ones who came through the portal?"
Milvar and Naughty nodded.
"We just wanna go home," Naughty said. "I miss Perfection Island."
"We wish to let you know that you shall be returning home soon." Luna smiled at the good news. Milvar and Naughty did so also.
"Just how long is that?" Milvar asked.
"We estimate... 7 days."
"That's not too bad," Milvar replied. "I could surely go for more donuts."
"Me too!" Naughty chimed in.
"I think that sounds wonderful," Luna chirped. "However, I think it's time for us to meet the other foreigner here."
"There's more of them?" Twilight asked.
"Certainly," Luna replied. "A short red fox who happened to land on our sister's balcony."
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Milvar pulled his tunic over his head, leaving his helmet to rest on his bed. "This trip can't get any stranger."
Milvar and Naughty were out of breath by the time they reached the top of Celestia's spire. They stood before the regal wooden door with the sun. Milvar marveled at the craftsmanship that went into the golden sun design, even if it was simple. It was as if it was forged in the Skyforge.
Naughty was surprised by the sheer height they were at. The pressure change had popped his ears and he was light-headed. He was also short of breath. Twilight and Luna were unaffected, seemingly by either having traveled up here often or their equine nature.
"We have arrived," Luna said.
"Celestia's bedchambers..." Twilight smiled as she knocked on the door. "I always came in here as a filly."
"Come in!" A voice from inside called.
Day 3: The Mirror-faced Man
Horatio had done it. Through the night, he had evaded several guard patrols and wary civilians to make it to the castle. Or at least, that was what it looked like. In a world full of cartoon horses, he couldn't tell if anything was straight anymore. Standing at the front gate to the castle, Horatio took in his surroundings. Posted on several lookout towers were guard horses, around eight or so, emitting a bright light from their horns and searching the shadows. Horatio decided it was time to make a plan.
Huddling behind an old dumpster close to the castle wall, he devised his master plan. First, he would try to sneak into the castle. Judging from the first horse's reaction, he didn't look too friendly, so he decided it best to sneak inside the castle and look for help elsewhere. Maybe there was a human king or queen that could tell him that this was all a strange dream and he was back on the moon in bed.
Step 1: Sneak in.
Step 2: Wait until morning.
Step 3: Look for someone in charge.
Step 4: Beg to be sent home from this crazy world.
It was a foolproof plan. Judging by the moon's height, Horatio judged it to be around 12:30 midnight. Time to get to work.
Despite his muscular build, Horatio's suit greatly hindered him as he slid along the castle wall, avoiding spotlights. It wasn't quiet either; the clink-clink of his suit's metal boots against the cobblestones under his feet drew several spotlights, but none landed on him. He couldn't take it off either, or at least not without another helper. When he was close enough to the front gate, Horatio reached over with a gloved hand and gave it a slow push. To his dismay, it was locked tight.
Clang!
Horatio froze as his metal-backed glove caught on the cold steel of the castle gate. All spotlights were now ravenously searching the area, looking for the source of the noise. Voices broke the silence.
"What in Luna's name was that?" A voice asked.
"Dunno, sounded like a bird or something."
"Sleek Skin, go check that out." A gruff voice made itself noticed.
"Yes, lieutenant." The first horse's voice ended as hoofsteps approached cautiously.
Horatio pressed himself against the marble wall as the gate slid open slowly. A searchlight shone from behind the wall, before a rather tall horse emerged from behind the gate's marble border, searching the darkness. His eyes flicked from side to side, scanning for threats, but thankfully Horatio wasn't spotted.
"Looks like it's gone, sir," The horse called before backing itself into the castle walls again. "Must've flown off."
"Good enough, our shift is over anyway."
Hoofsteps were heard farther and farther away from Horatio as said horses left the vicinity. Some of the spotlights from before vanished also, but two still remained. Horatio sighed in relief. He poked his helmet around the corner to make sure, then watched as a tall guard horse in golden armor knocked three times on the raised drawbridge connecting the castle from the rest of the city. A door beside the drawbridge opened suddenly, and the three guards wasted no time hustling indoors, free from the night's cold. The light form inside vanished as the door slammed shut again.
In a flash of good luck, Horatio noticed that the guards had neglected to lock the front gate. Thinking quickly, he dashed around the corner-
-and straight into a guard horse, carrying a set of keys. It wasn't one of the guards from before; its eyes were more cat-like and it had bat wings instead of angel-y ones like Horatio had seen on the guards from before. It was also dressed in purple armor, and Horatio thought it had fangs, but couldn't be sure in the darkness. The guard swiftly turned his head, searching for his assailant.
"Oof! What the...?"
The guard's pupils narrowed as he focused on Horatio's mirror-like visor.
"Wha... wha..."
Horatio fiercely put a finger to his visor, instinctively making a shushing noise. Instead, his suit's damaged voice receptor made a growl not unlike that of an angered hungry flame dragon made out of darkness.
"Help... HEL-"
Horatio's gloved hand was suddenly over the guard's mouth, preventing his scream from being heard. The guard's wings flailed helplessly and his hooves batted against Horatio's arms with slowly decreasing strength. When the guard's struggles slowly drew to an end and his eyes rolled back, Horatio let his hand fall from the guard's mouth. He was relieved to see that the guard's chest was slowly rising and falling. Alive.
Horatio pulled the unconscious guard into a dark corner of the castle courtyard, where he leaned against a wall for support. His heart was racing; He'd never hurt another living being on purpose before. But now that he had, he felt a newfound courage inside of him. He was far stronger than the guard he just subdued, so he didn't really have anything to fear if things got ugly. Regaining his breath, Horatio picked up the keys from the ground carefully and checked to make sure the other two guards on duty hadn't overheard the struggle. Horatio saw two spotlights still cluelessly searching the darkness outside of the castle walls. Horatio tiptoed towards the drawbridge, remembering that the guards had knocked three times to enter. Horatio followed the example and knocked three times, bracing for what he was about to do.
The door creaked open, and a white horse with golden armor peered out.
"Yes?"
Horatio, thinking quickly, picked up a stray rock and tossed it at the guard tower not far from him. Still hidden in the shadows, Horatio's suit made little noise thankfully. The rock made a loud clang as it rebounded off the metal roof, scaring both spotlight guards to death and causing the door guard to bolt out, spear at the ready. Horatio darted past the guard, and despite his stark white space suit, remained unnoticed as he slipped into the doorway, narrowly avoiding bashing his helmet against the frame. He slammed the door shut and pulled the deadbolt across, leaning against the door triumphantly. He was glad to be in the light again. Thought dim, it was still light. Turning his head, Horatio picked out the tail of a nearby horse. Whipping around, he stared into the aqua eyes of a startled horse.
This horse was different; It was a light blue color and it had a differently shaped nose, like some of the other horses he had seen today, but it was the first he'd seen that was actually wearing clothes. They resembled a maid's outfit. It wasn't, however, the first to run down the nearby corridor, screaming in terror.
Horatio tailed after her swiftly, ignoring the heavy slaps his boots made against the smooth marble floor. Adrenaline fueled his desperation, and he was now rapidly catching up to the horse. His breath came in ragged bursts. It was a good thing he trained for this on Earth; It was as if this planet was nearly identical to Earth gravity-wise. Not to mention that the aliens were speaking English.
"HELP! Somepony, HELP ME! MONSTER!" The horse, boasting a woman's voice, was terrified at the monster chasing her down the hallways.
Horatio finally caught up to the horse. Using the last of his adrenaline, he dived headfirst onto the horse, tackling her to the ground and covering her mouth as he did to the guard before. Gathering himself and the horse, he thrust his boot into a random door. It flew open, several hinges broken. He ushered himself and the struggling horse inside, slamming the door shut behind him and deadbolting it. Horatio was once again shrouded in darkness and silence, save for his heavy breathing and the horse's whimpers of terror. Horatio did his best to calm the horse. Instead of trying to subdue her, however, he left her nostrils uncovered so she could breathe. She was trying to beg, but her muffled words fell on deaf ears. Seconds later, hoofsteps were heard galloping down the hallway.
"It came from this way, lads! Hurry!" Guards were heard sprinting down the hallway, and more voices were heard elsewhere, barking orders.
The hoofsteps faded, and Horatio turned his head back towards the poor horse still struggling in his grasp. Horatio's mirror-like visor reflected the horse's light blue eyes, but he could see her somewhat from the moonlight shining in from a single window. From the crates and old dusty books, Horatio guessed he was in a storage room of some sort. Lucky; It would have been a disaster if he'd stumbled into a sleeping horse's room.
The muffled screams of the horse lowered to nervous whimpers. Horatio peered into her eyes, knowing that she could still feel his gaze through his visor. He lowered his voice box's volume to a whisper before speaking.
"I'm going to let you go now." Instead of his calming voice, the mare heard something far worse.
"I'm feeling hungry for your blood now."
The mare's screams escalated once more, and she thrashed helplessly against Horatio's immense strength. Horatio did something he hoped he would never have to do.
He slapped the mare hard on the face, silencing her. Tears welled in her eyes as she stared into his visor.
"Be quiet!" Horatio's voice was loud enough to be heard through his helmet.
It seemed that had made it through his voice receptor fine, and the mare was quick to obey Horatio's orders. Horatio tried again.
"I am going to free you. Stay quiet."
Surprisingly, Horatio's voice came out crystal clear. The mare's pupils expanded slightly and she relaxed before nodding. Horatio slowly let his hand loose of the horse's mouth. She began to cry, and darted off into the darkness, hiding behind some crates. Horatio leaned against the door, satisfied. His fatigue began to set in, and he felt himself drifting into a deep sleep.
Twilight awoke to the sound of a loud clang, followed by the screaming of a mare. Then silence. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she found herself alone in her bed. Fear swept over her as a thousand scenarios of the murderous, white monster tearing her apart filled her head. Twilight lit her horn, bathing her room in a faint purple light. Moonlight also lit the room, shining in from her window. Hoofsteps passed by as guard ponies sprinted down the hallway, no doubt to investigate the screams that still rang fresh in Twilight's ears. Twilight closed her eyes again, but after several minutes was unable to fall back asleep. Groaning in frustration, she threw off her covers and walked lazily over to her door. She ventured down the dimly lit hallway to Fox's room. She knocked quietly at first, then louder when no response came. This time, low curses and footsteps came from behind the door.
Fox's face, fur matted from sleep, emerged from a crack in the door.
"Twilight?" He asked. "What's going on? I heard screams."
"I did too," Twilight replied. "I came to check up on you, you know. Make sure you're alright." Twilight blushed slightly. "That, and I'm a little scared to investigate alone."
Fox nodded knowingly and retreated back into his room to retrieve his boots and jacket. Moments later, he and Twilight were walking down the hallway together in silence.
"What do you think that was?" Fox asked.
"Probably some mare who had a bad dream," Twilight replied. "Happens a lot in Ponyville."
"That where you live?"
"Yeah, and my other friends."
"I see."
They walked on awkwardly in the dim torchlight until reaching the main lobby. There they found several Solar guards carrying a Lunar Stallion, body limp. Twilight recoiled in shock, and Fox's eyes widened in surprise.
"What happened?" Twilight asked a nearby Lunar Stallion.
"Dawnbreaker was just found knocked out in a corner," The stallion replied before quickly darting after the unconscious Lunar Stallion.
Fox turned to Twilight. "Who do you suppose did that?"
"I don't know. There are a lot of strange ponies in Canterlot."
"Purple horse," A voice came from behind Twilight. She and Fox turned to find Milvar tiredly rubbing his beard. "What's all the ruckus?"
"Just some guard that got knocked out. No big deal."
"Alright..." Milvar scratched his long hair. "Well, I could do with a midnight donut. Goodnight, you two."
"Night," Twilight and Fox said in unison. Milvar stumbled off towards the kitchen.
Before long, Twilight and Fox were walking back to their bedrooms. When Twilight arrived at her door, she hesitated.
"Goodnight, Twi," Fox called over his shoulder.
"Fox, wait!" Twilight took off after Fox, who turned in surprise when she hugged his leg. "I'm, um... I'm scared of being alone tonight, what with the crazy murderers and all," Twilight's face turned a deep red. "Do you mind if... if I..."
"...Yes?" Fox asked, clueless.
"DoyoumindifIstaywithyoutonight?!"
Fox stood dumbfounded. "Well, sure, if you're that scared by a little hollering. Come on."
Twilight walked alongside Fox, and they both entered Fox's room quietly. Fox hung his jacket on a nearby coathook and shook off his boots. Yawning, he turned towards his bed and found Twilight snoring quietly on one side.
Nice enough of her to leave me some room.
Fox felt a little embarrassed at sleeping with yet another alien horse, but he didn't want her to wake up alone and scared again. Slowly, Fox crawled in beside Twilight and couldn't draw his eyes from her. She was, indeed, quite beautiful. For a unicorn. Her figure was not unlike that of Krystal's, and her coloring was similar as well. Finally managing to close his eyes, Fox drifted off into sleep. Again, totally non-sexually. At all.
Horatio cracked open his eyes as his suit's alarm woke him up. Judging by the sunlight now blinding him, he judged it was morning. Groaning, he turned his head and glanced about the room. The horse from before was sound asleep atop a cushion on top of a small fort made of boxes, a vain attempt to ward off the would-be monster should it get hungry. Moaning in fatigue, Horatio turned his attention to the beeping red button on his space suit's HUD. He almost wished he didn't.
His suit's air supply was at 26%, a meager 2 day's worth. If he was lucky, the air on this planet was breathable to him, but the suit's air tester had been damaged when he smashed through the castle's marble and stone roof. Horatio's stomach also let out a loud growl, muffled by the thick layers of space suit that covered him. He needed food, water and air. Where was he to get any of that on this alien world? Maybe, if he asked nicely, one of the guards wouldn't brutally impale him on a spear.
Thud thud thud!
Horatio jumped as the door he was leaning against rattled on its hinges, barely being held on after Horatio's brutal door kick last night.
"Is somepony in there?" A voice called from the other side. "The door looks like somepony bucked it in."
The maid from last night awoke with a start, squeaking when she saw that Horatio was indeed still alive. The door was knocked on again.
"I can hear you in there, miss. Is everything alright?"
Horatio turned his gaze to the horse, now standing atop her makeshift fort. Her eyes were darting between Horatio and the door, as if choosing to turn him in or remain silent. Horatio made a begging motion with his hands, as if he was praying. The mare looked between him and the door once more before opening her mouth again.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," The mare called. Her voice trembled in fear. "I'm just getting some... band aids." Horatio's shoulders relaxed.
"What for?" The voice sounded closer to the door.
The door was suddenly rattled by someone on the other side, and Horatio threw his weight against it, keeping it from opening despite the deadbolt. The voice on the other side returned, this time angry.
"Why is the door locked?"
"Please leave me alone!" The mare called out. "I'm... um... I'm in here with..." The mare sighed, giving Horatio a glare.
"I'm in here with my coltfriend."
Horatio facepalmed. Literally, facepalmed. His glove slapped against his visor, making the mare jump in surprise. The voice on the other end refused to respond to this, but after a moment of awkward silence, he returned.
"I see."
"Yeah, so-"
The door was suddenly burst down, a lone guard in golden armor tumbling in. The door fell on top of Horatio, covering him from the guard, who was now on his feet on the fallen door, scanning the room. Horatio felt the weight on his back shift.
"I don't see anypony in here with you, servant!" The guard's voice was furious. "You've wasted my time!"
"Please, you don't unders-"
"You're coming with me. I've been pranked enough this morning."
The weight on Horatio's back lifted and he saw the guard pacing towards the mare, brandishing his spear. The mare backed into the corner defiantly. Thinking quickly, Horatio slid out from under the wooden door, making a scraping sound on the floor. The guard whipped around instinctively.
"What in Celestia's name?!" The guard lowered his spear towards Horatio. "What the hay are you?! Surrender!"
Horatio let his arms rise in defeat.However, isntead of seeing the guard jabbing him with his spear, he saw the mare behind the guard grab something that looked vaguely like a lamp. Sneaking silently, the mare reduced the lamp to glass shards as she whipped it against the back of the guard's head, knocking him out colder than a January blizzard. The guard hit the floor with a thump, spear clattering beside him. Horatio stood amazed.
"Dude," The mare said, "Whatever the heck you are, you owe me. Big time. "
Horatio smiled for the first time since he'd been stranded on this wretched world.
Day 3: Violence Isn't the Answer
Horatio stared at the horse in bewilderment, the sleeping guard at her feet mumbling to himself. Horatio's eyes darted between the horse and the door, wondering if it would be better to introduce himself alone or with an escort. With the armed guards attempting to kill him at every turn, Horatio felt himself drawn towards the horse.
"Thank you," Horatio said, heart still racing. "Thank you. So, so much." His suit's voice receptor slurred his "S" pronunciation somewhat.
"What are you?" The horse walked over to him cautiously, and suddenly jabbed his suit with a hoof. "Are you some kind of alien?"
"I suppose you could say that," Horatio said. "I'm Horatio. Human astronaut."
"What in Equestria...?"
Horatio detected a new voice coming from behind him, this time one of an older-sounding female. He turned and saw a huge white horse with the craziest hair he'd seen staring at him, eyes wide. She had a horn and wings, strangely. He hadn't seen that race yet. Maybe it was a mutation, or simply a fake horn. It even looked like it was taped back on, as if it was recently broken off. She also donned a light pink bathrobe. She eyed the unconscious guard on the floor, then looked back to Horatio, her eyes showing disbelief and anger.
It was then that Horatio realized that the horn was indeed real, if the fireball hurtling towards him was any sign.
Celestia walked down her long, marble hallway. Never before had a hallway so nice seem so bland. After seeing the hallway for thousands of years on end, it gets old fast. Lots of things get old fast. Even the aliens that had mysteriously shown up in her throne room had grown bland. But alas, her morning duties called her. At 6 in the bucking morning.
Celestia, of course, was a wreck. Her mane, tail and fur were frazzled in several places and her eyes were drooped with sleep. Her breath reeked of coffee, which was being levitated beside her lazily. To combat her horrible looks as she went travelled to the aliens' rooms, she wore a light pink bathrobe. It was a tad big on her, but she didn't mind. It just added to the nice feeling of it.
A couple of guards trotted by, snapping salutes as they passed Celestia. She returned it with a kind smile. Then it was back to walking down the bland hallway. Last night there was a mare screaming somewhere in the castle, startling Celestia from her slumber. She wanted to investigate herself, but Luna insisted she stay in bed. So she did.
A few minutes of walking later, Celestia saw something out of the ordinary - A door, kicked in from some strong force. The hinges were torn off the wall cleanly, and Celestia could hear talking coming from inside. However, one of the voices sounded like it came from a bullhorn, plus some parts of it were slurred. It sounded like a gramophone. Curous, Celestia peered around the corner of the doorway. Her face came mere inches from running into a tall, bulky white creature that was facing a light blue mare in a maid's outfit.
"What in Equestria...?" She mumbled.
Her first thought was that it was Milvar in a funny costume. But Milvar wasn't this tall, or muscular. This thing also made many hisses and talked very unlike Milvar did. Then, the tall figure turned around. Celestia saw her face reflected it the creature's single, golden eye. Its chest was adorned with several tubes and buttons, and every few seconds steam would hiss from a vent underneath it's eye. Then she saw it.
A guard, helmet bent in, lay on the floor. Was he dead? Celestia didn't care. If this thing hurt her guard, it was dangerous. She formed a fireball spell, firing it at the creature as a horrible pain enveloped her damaged horn, driving her to her knees. Her eyes drilled themselves shut. For a few moments, all she was aware of was agony erupting from her horn. Then she heard screaming, hissing, the hoofsteps of guards and a captain barking orders. She felt a magical grasp over her chest, then she was on her feet. She carefully opened an eye, wincing at the pain, and saw a gray guard, horn lit, aiding her to her feet. She saw more guards circling the white creature, now sporting a blackened, charred chestplate. It didn't move.
"You majesty, are you alright?"
"Yes... yes, I'm all right." Celestia wasn't alright. Her forehead felt like it was being dipped in lava. "Water, please."
The guard helping her roared out the order, causing her ears to ring, and moments later a pitcher of water was produced in front of her. She sat on her haunches again as curious onlookers watched from the sidelines. Fox, Milvar and Naughty watched beside her, all of their eyes wide. Twilight was nowhere to be seen.
"Would you like a glass, your maj-"
The guard didn't have time to finish as Celestia pried the lid off the pitcher and chugged half of its contents in one gulp. She took a breath, then dunked the rest over her aching forehead. Relief washed over her.
"Ahh, better," Celestia said. The guard was speechless, but his face showed no emotion. "More please."
When Luna arrived, Celestia had finished off her third pitcher of water. Luna couldn't stifle a giggle at Celestia's dripping-wet face.
"Sister, art thou well?" Luna visually inspected her older sister, even going so far as to open her mouth to check for anything. "What happened?"
Pulling her jaw free, Celestia recalled the events prior to now. By now, the maid had a blanket around her and was being escorted out by several armed guards. She had a small cut on her face, presumably from the evil white creature. When she had finished, gasps erupted from beside her. She turned and saw the white creature rising to its feet. More gasps and a few screams came from the crowd around her. Fox reached for his nonexistent blaster while Milvar and Naughty readied their fists. Celestia rose to her feet, readying another fireball spell, only to be stopped by Luna.
"No, sister. Let us handle this one!"
Luna's horn shimmered a dark blue as she charged a lightning spell. She neared the white monster, which was now leaning against a wall for support, clutching its chest. Luna adressed the creature.
"Monster, identify thyself!"
The creature's head turned, golden eye falling on Luna. Said alicorn faltered for a moment at just how intimidating its gaze could be. Without waiting for an answer, Luna fired a bolt of lightning into the creature's chest, sending it flying into the wall and screeching in pain. The crowd around the scene cheered as the monster was defeated. Celestia sighed, closing her eyes in relief as the pain in her forehead subsided.
"Stop, please!"
The commotion and panic instantly stopped as a monotone, gramophonic voice emanated from the monster. It once again rose to its feet, but this time its chest was making a hissing sound, along with a small flame flickering out of existence on its metallic surface. Celestia returned her gaze to the creature, preparing to flee if no spells worked against it. It must have been wearing a special suit of armor.
"I mean no harm!"
"Liar!" Luna charged toward the creature, tackling it with amazing strength. "What hast thou done to my sister?!"
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" The creature raised its arms, trying to shield its vulnerable eye. "I just turned up on this world a couple days ago, I don't even know where I am!" The creature's voice slurred a few words, and several were just garbled static.
This got Celestia's attention. "Wait!"
The blue horse turned to her sister, giving Horatio the chance to shove her off of his body. She landed with a grunt as Horatio readied his fists. He was prepared to fight if these horses didn't cooperate. His chestplate had luckily absorbed both attacks, but not without knocking the wind out of him.
"You said you just appeared here, correct?" The tall white horse was now standing.
He nodded.
"Then you might be the fourth one!"
"What?" Horatio was just plain confused now.
A while later, Horatio sat in a chair in the tall horse's bedroom, intently listening to the white horse - no, pony - explained the current situation. Apparently he was brought to this magical world by accident when a spell failed. Horatio still didn't quite understand the whole concept of magic, but he dismissed the thought for now. He kept calling her horse, but she had introduced herself as Celestia. She still wore her bathrobe.
"So what you're saying is I'm stuck here?" Horatio shifted in his chair, which screeched with his immense suit's weight.
"I'm afraid so," Said the horse. "At least a few days until my horn heals."
"I see a problem here," Horatio said, monotone voice faltering for a moment. "My suit's air supply is about to run out."
"Oh, that's not good," The horse said. "Do you think you can make it?"
"Don't think so. My suit says only a few more hours left of air. That fireball sure took a hit on my air tanks."
"Can you breathe our air?" Celestia was now genuinely worried. Not only had she injured a friendly creature, but she had also possibly summoned him to his death.
"I'm not sure, my air tester was damaged when I flew through your castle's roof."
"So that's how that hole got there..." Celestia chuckled to herself. "Back to matters, why not test it?"
"That's another problem," Horatio said sadly. "I can't take this suit off without another person to help me."
"I could help you," Celestia stood, walking over to Horatio. She then turned her eyes to behind him. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you knock.
Horatio turned around and saw three figures at the door. One of them was a walking fox. The other was a walking teddy bear. Horatio's heart nearly stopped when he laid eyes on the tallest one of the bunch.
He was a human.
"Horatio, I'd like you to meet Milvar, Naughty Bear and Fox McCloud."
Horatio stood and politely took the fox's paw in his glove, shaking it. "Name's Horatio."
"Fox. Nice to meet you."
"Creative name."
Horatio then grunted in pain as Fox squeezed his hand ever so tightly. "Thank you.'
"Good to meetcha."
"Likewise, little fella."
Lastly was Milvar, the hulking man. And Horatio thought he looked tall in a space suit; this guy was only just shorter than him!
"You're a human," Horatio said. "Like me, and you're breathing just fine!"
"Nice to meet you too," Horatio chuckled, patting the astronaut's shoulder. "I can breathe perfectly. I reckon you don't need that helmet."
Then it hit him. Horatio forgot he could open his suit's air vents and let air in that way. If he was lucky, he wouldn't have to take his suit off. He was so glad! This meant he wouldn't have to reveal his face to these alien ponies except to eat. The air concern was covered. Looks like his stay here wouldn't be so bad after all! He explained this to his new companions, who were more than happy to have another friendly face (or visor) to talk to.
"So," Celestia announced, walking over with a broad grin. "Now that we know you'll survive on this planet, what do you say we grab some breakfast?"
Milvar, Fox and Naughty voiced their approval.
"Horatio, would you like to come?"
"I might as well introduce myself to the ponies here. Sure!"
After a few minutes, Celestia was walking beside the group, along with Luna and a drowsy Twilight who had only just been informed of the whole situation. She was pleased to have yet another human to study and learn from. Celestia had put on her royal look, crown and everything. Now Horatio had to push himself to keep up - his suit wasn't light. That reminded him of something.
"Hey, Princess Celestia?"
"Dear, you can just call me Celestia." Celestia turned to him and smiled warmly. "What can I help you with?"
"You and your sister owe me fifteen-thousand dollars."
"What's a dollar?" Twilight asked.
Naughty informed the ponies.
"Is your suit really that expensive?" Luna asked.
"Fraid so, Princess Luna," Horatio dipped his helmed head. "They're not cheap."
"Well in that case," Celestia interrupted, "I can pay you when we get back. We're sorry about that."
"No, I'm sorry for breaking down your door, scaring your citizens crapless, beating up your guards and making you hurt yourself. If you ask me, that's a pretty good excuse for shooting fire and who knows what at me. So what do you say we cut that down to some free breakfast instead?"
Celestia blinked. Horatio was a good bargainer. "Sounds fair enough."
"Deal?" Horatio asked, stopping in the hallway and offering his hand. Celestia put her hoof in it and shook firmly.
"Deal."
Everyone that sat around the table was shocked at how strikingly handsome Horatio was under his helmet. He'd removed it to dig into his pancakes, and they all sat astounded. His hair was jet black and he had a carefully trimmed mustache above his lip. To Fox, he looked like some kind of business executive rather than an astronaut. Milvar stroked his beard, wishing he had groomed it, and Naughty didn't pay much attention. He loved pancakes.
"This is simply delicious!" Horatio announced. "These are much better than the pancakes we ate on the moon. What's your secret?"
Horatio eyed Luna, who only then snapped out of her trance. "U-u-mm, nothing special in these pancakes. They are simply made with love and care, is that not right, sister? "
Celestia giggled knowingly; Luna liked Horatio.
Or maybe it was just his manly mustache.
After breakfast, Horatio was more than happy to listen to the stories of his new friends. Twilight also bombarded him with questions, most of them diverting towards his space suit, but she occasionally asked how he kept his mustache in such good style. He answered honestly - Lots of shampoo and a daily grooming. He even gave Milvar some friendly shaving advice. When all was said and done, it was almost lunch time already. Stomachs growling once more, the lot decided to eat in the Princesses' dining room.
As the entourage sat at the table, a mare swiftly handed out menus to them. They all picked up their menus and after several minutes a stallion in a suit came trotting up.
"I am Spiffy Suit, your butler for today," He announced. "What can I get you?"
"I'll have a piece of pie," Milvar said, stroking his now tidy beard. "Cherry, if you may."
"Some fries sound good." Naughty flipped down his menu and slid it across to the butler.
"A grilled cheese with milk, please," Fox smiled. "Well-done."
"I think I'll have some fries as well," Horatio said, sighing. "Forgive me if this disturbs you, but I wish I had some steak and potatoes."
"Tell me about it," Milvar replied solemnly. "Last good roast I had was weeks ago."
"I could do for a ham sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes."
A chorus of 'mmm' came from the three. Twilight shifted uncomfortably in her chair, while Celestia and Luna continued grazing their menus. A moment later, she set her menu down and handed it to the butler. Luna did the same.
"I'll have a hay sandwich," Celestia told the butler. "No mayo, please."
"And I shall have some delicious chocolate cake, if such is available." Luna smiled proudly. The butler raised an eyebrow at this.
"... She'll have a hay sandwich as well," Celestia whispered to the butler, who nodded and smiled to himself.
"Sister!"
"You're supposed to be watching your weight, Luna."
"And thou, sitting in thy bed all day?"
"At least I eat right," Celestia finished. "Now that's enough, or I'll make you eat alfalfa for tonight's supper."
Luna crossed her forelegs and planted her royal hiney angrily on her cushion. "Fine."
After lunch, Twilight took her friends out to see Canterlot. Of course, they were tailed by curious onlookers and the occasional paparazzi, but they had grown used to it. First on her mental checklist to visit was the library. That was where she always took her friends when they visited.
"Alright, everypony, listen up!" Twilight and her friends were now standing outside the library door, the tailing crowd being hushed away by royal guards. "Remember, this is a library , so keep your voices down, alright?"
Her entourage nodded in confirmation.
"Good! Let's go then!"
Twilight pulled open the door with her magic, which still amazed Horatio, and led her friends inside. Naughty and Milvar chatted quietly, while Fox and Horatio, who had managed to get out of his space suit, were discussing their varying methods of space travel. Once they were all seated at a table, Twilight sent her friends off, free to roam among the library's huge supply of books. The space pair went off to find more books on space travel, while Milvar and Naughty took their time roaming and exploring the vast library. It was nearly the size of the Canterlot castle!
Next up was the spa. Believe it or not, Canterlot's spa was not as cozy as the one in Ponyville, but Twilight liked in nonetheless. Twilight had her horn filed while Fox had his red ears groomed by a rather finicky mare. She was quite obviously nervous around the sharp teeth, but little did she know, Fox was more nervous than she was. After all, he did have an image to keep. If Falco were to find out about this, he was sure he'd never be able to live it down.
Meanwhile, Horatio had his mustache trimmed and face shaven. Milvar waited beside naughty with his beard now washed properly, and Naughty was bathing in herbal mud. Fox sat next to Horatio.
"So you tell me," Horatio said, "Faster-than-light travel is possible, but only with an ion-insulated black hole drive?"
"That's right," Fox answered. "Of course, Newton's Third law comes into play at about half power. That's what makes you go so fast." Fox's ears twitched slightly as the mare tending him rinsed them off.
"My, you caught on fast to Newton's laws, didn't you?"
"Yep. Since you told me about them, I just had to find out more about 'em. So I looked them up in the library. Newton's name was different though."
"Yeah, I noticed that too." Horatio put down his razor and felt his face. Smoother than a baby's bottom. "What was it, Newfoal? Newhoof?"
"Newcolt," Twilight called from across the spa.
Horatio nodded in thanks. "Now, as I was saying..."
At the other side of the room, Twilight shifted somewhat to get a better position. "Pssh," Twilight scoffed. "Boy talk." The mare filing her horn giggled.
Twilight was in ecstasy. Having your horn filed was a bit awkward, but the results were well worth it. Her horn was now sharp and clean again, and she felt her magic coming out clearer than ever. As the file was put away, Twilight felt herself excited for the next part: A horn polishing.
If getting your horn filed was a carriage ride, getting your horn polished would be riding said carriage to the moon and back at top speed. It was awesome. What Twilight didn't know, however, was that her friends had a slightly different idea when they saw the spa pony return with a damp cloth and started stroking her horn, up and down. A quit giggle came from the opposite end of the room, drawing Twilight's attention. When she turned, she saw her friends all staring at her, small smirks forming on their faces.
"What?" Twilight asked. Horatio snorted and turned away, covering his face with one hand. "What is so funny?"
Milvar then burst out laughing hysterically, followed by Naughty's hoarse laugh and Fox's quit chuckle and head shake. Twilight didn't understand. Was the spa pony doing her horn making funny faces? She looked up to find the spa pony struggling to hold back a laugh as well.
"Alright," Twilight said, standing up. "Somepony tell me what's going on."
"Nothing, nothing!" Naughty said, his wheezing laugh dying down. "It's just..."
"With her polishing your horn..." Milvar laughed again.
"It kind of looks like, uhh..." Horatio covered his face again, laughing to himself. "Looks like...!"
Fox had the courage to finish the sentence. "It looks like she's getting you off."
The room burst into laughs again, with the spa pony, dropping the cloth. "I can't do this, I can't! Hah!"
With horror, Twilight finally caught onto what was happening. With the spa pony stroking her horn like that... Yeah. You get the picture.
"I can't believe you guys!" She roared.
Twilight threw a wet rag at Milvar, giggling to herself slightly. She soon found herself laughing along with them, only stopping to breathe. When the joke had finally died down, a different spa pony came out and finished the job. With her sparkling, shiny new horn, Twilight pranced out of the spa with her friends, each looking somewhat cleaner than before. Every now and then, a quiet chuckle came from the group.
After the whole spa incident, the group moved on for a leisurely walk in the wonderful city of Canterlot. While Horatio and Fox continued their science talk of space travel and aliens, Milvar and Naughty were onto a different and more tasty topic: Food. It had been a few hours since anyone ate. Milvar voiced his opinion.
"Pony," He said. Twilight turned to face him. "Where is the nearest food stall?"
"I dunno," Twilight said, putting a hoof to her chin. "They're usually around by at least 1:00."
Milvar and Naughty scanned their surroundings for any sign of a food stall or building. With Milvar's sharp eye, the two were quickly heading over towards a pie stand. The stall pony was surprised at first, but gladly sold them a pair of blueberry pies when he saw the gold coins. When they returned, they had half-finished their pies. Naughty's clean face was dirtied once more, and Milvar's beard was again colored differently from his hair.
"Seriously?" Fox asked. "We just came from the showers!"
"Bathhouse," Milvar corrected.
"Salon," Naughty corrected.
"Spa ," Twilight corrected.
"Right, what she said," Fox said, shaking his head. "Honestly, those poor ponies went through a lot to style you like that. Not to mention Twilight here paid good money for it!"
Naughty bowed his head in shame, feeling Fox's glare of death. Milvar stood astonished, his face turning a bright red. Twilight and Horatio looked on in amazement.
"Now, when we get back, you two go wash up and apologize to Twilight."
"Fox, this isn't really nec-" Twilight was cut off by a fierce glare from the short fox.
"Understood?" He said, turning his gaze back to the culprits. They nodded in unison, muttering "yes sirs".
"Good."
Before continuing, Milvar surged forward, as if to grab the fox, but Naughty caught his arm and pulled it back.
"Relax. He ain't worth it."
Back at the castle, Twilight stopped Fox for a moment in the hallway.
"Fox, why did you do that?" She asked. Fox grinned in amusement.
"Being the commander of a team of space mercenaries gives you a lot of experience over the years."
"I think Milvar's going to hate you for the rest of this stay. Did you see the way he looked at you?"
"Peh. He thinks he's tough."
"Fox! " Twilight exclaimed, making said animal jump. "What's gotten into you?"
Fox's eyes went wide and his ears pinned themselves against his head.
"A few days ago you were the most polite person on this planet, and now you're yelling at people?"
"I'm sorry!" Fox yelled back. "I just can't take being stuck here without real food. I want some meat for once."
"So that whole thing was because of your stomach?" Twilight spat back.
"No!"
"Then why?"
"... I..." Fox turned away, ashamed. "I'll go apologize."
Fox turned around and began walking towards Milvar's room. Twilight stared after him, her own rage seeming to heat the air. Twilight then caught herself, realizing what she had just done. She yelled at Fox for yelling at the troublesome two; She was a hypocrite. When supper time came, she would apologize to Fox properly. But until then, she trotted towards the staircase that lead to Celestia's royal bedroom.
Milvar and Naughty were in Milvar's room, washing their faces. Naughty had just finished shampooing his entire head, while Milvar dunked his head into the sink and turned the faucet on, letting the cold water refresh his hot head and steaming temper. When all was done, he rose, sputtering water. He cursed to himself quietly.
"I can't believe that animal!" Milvar roared. "Talk about huffy!"
"Tell me about it," Naughty grumbled, wiping his face dry with a towel. "He's worse than Bubbles on Christmas Eve!"
"Who?" Milvar asked, turning his head from the sink, beard dripping.
"Errmm, never mind. Anyway, get dried up. I can't stand to get yelled at by Fox again."
"I don't see why we have to listen to that guy." Milvar shuffled the towel over his face and groomed his beard with his fingers before continuing. "I mean, he's just a fox. What's he gonna do to us? Shoot us?"
"Well, he does have a holster on his belt," Naughty interrupted.
"So? All the more reason he thinks he has authority. He has a weapon. So what? I killed many with my bare hands!" To show, Milvar shoved a fist into the bathroom mirror. It shattered loudly, cutting Milvar slightly and scaring Naughty. "Graah, who is he to tell me what to do?!"
"Milvar, cool it!" Naughty yelled. "If that guy hears us, we're done for!"
A knock on the room's door jolted them both upright to look at the room's doorway.
"Hey, Milvar? You in there?" Fox's voice rang out through the room.
"Speak of the Princes," Milvar cursed, pounding towards the door.
Only then did Naughty realize the severity of the situation. "Milvar, wait!"
Milvar didn't listen, he only stomped towards the doorway menacingly, grabbing a nearby chef's knife from when he was practicing his cooking. Naughty caught up to him and tried to stand in his way, but Milvar shoved him aside with ease. His was now only a few feet from the door. Another knock sounded.
"Hey, listen, I know I've been a bit of a di-"
The door suddenly burst open from the inside, knocking the surprised fox backwards into the railing. Milvar stood in the doorway with his knife, staring Fox down like a hawk. Now it was Fox's turn to be stuck under a stare. Milvar fast walked over and grabbed the shocked Fox by the collar of his jacket, lifting him into the air above his head. Naughty's cries of terror were heard from the room.
"Who do you think you are, Fluffy?" Milvar hissed through his teeth. "Trying to give me orders, huh?!" He shook Fox harshly, who grunted in surprise.
"Milvar, easy! We can talk about this, just put me down!"
"Gladly." Milvar slammed Fox into the floor with all his might, knocking the wind out of him.
"Milvar! Please!" Fox barely had time to roll to the left, dodging a stab to the neck by mere inches. He stood beside Milvar and gave him a swift kick in the side of the skull.
Milvar roared and stood upright again. It was David vs. Goliath, with the short Fox and the cumbersome Milvar facing off. Fox took on a defensive stance, turning his torso away from Milvar with his left arm outstretched to deflect any stabs. Milvar, however, simply strode towards the animal menacingly, swinging his knife like a madman. A lucky blow caught Fox in the arm, causing him to falter. Naughty made a break for it, running down the hallway and calling for help.
"Milvar! Just listen! I'm sorry for-"
"Sorry for what, ah?!" Milvar jabbed the knife forward, missing Fox by a hair. "Sorry for making me look like an idiot in front of everyone?! I'll wear you as a coat!"
Milvar and Naughty exchanged blows, Fox's kicks dealing little noticable damage to the enraged Milvar. Several cuts were opened on Fox's body, and red blood seeped through several gashes in his jacket. Fox continued to reason with the bear to no effect.
In the middle of Fox's pleas, Milvar thrust forward with the knife, barely nicking Fox in the abdomen before being swiftly kicked away. Stars danced in his vision, but he kept slicing and jabbing through the air wildly, sometimes missing, sometimes getting lucky. Then, Milvar had a true stroke of luck. A heavy kick sent Fox sprawling across the floor. He held his arm, which was bent awkwardly. Milvar smiled and pounded over, his heart beating in his ears like a war drum.
"C'mere, fuzzy!" He squatted on top of Fox, who was growling in pain, baring his teeth and glaring at Milvar.
Milvar held Fox down with his weight, sitting on his chest, before laying the cold blade of the knife between Fox's eyes.
"You'll make a fine rug, Fox!"
He raised the knife, preparing for the final blow. The knife dripped with blood by now, and thirsted for more. As the knife began its descent towards Fox's neck, Fox had a brilliant idea. He lunged forward with all his might-
-and bit Milvar right in the round tables. Said guard howled at the peak of his breath, and Fox took the time to scramble out from under him. He readied himself as Milvar shrugged off the pain and stood once more.
"It'll take more than a dirty blow to take me down!"
Milvar threw the knife, which whizzed by Fox's ear with great speed. Fox was about to deliver another blow to the unmentionables when he saw Milvar's face. Instead of rage, it was contorted with fear. Fox whirled, expecting an enraged Princess Celestia.
Instead, he got a Twilight Sparkle, a glistening dagger embedded in her neck.
"Twilight!" Fox cried as she collapsed to the floor, motionless.
Blood pooled around her as Naughty caught up, gasping at the sight.
"What the hell did you do?!" He cried.
Fox ran over to Twilight, who was gasping for air and holding the knife with one hoof. He slid on his rear, ears pinned back again, and stopped next to Twilight. Her eyes darted about wildly. Milvar stood motionless, dropping to his knees when he realized his horrible mistake. Fox let out a wail of frustration as he lifted Twilight's head level to his.
"Hang in there, Twilight! Just keep breathing!"
"HEEELP!" Naughty roared at the approaching guard party he had rallied. "She's hurt bad!"
"Twilight, please..." Fox shook Twilight, whose eyes were locked on his. She gasped and gurgled for air. "Please, just stay awake..."
Twilight's eyes lidded themselves closed, but her breathing didn't stop. The entourage of guards finally reached Twilight, shoving Fox and Naughty back. Milvar was still staring in awe, his eyes glossy with tears.
"What... have I done?" He moaned.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The sound of a clock quietly ticking away was the only sound in the ER's waiting room. Fox, who was covered in bandages, sat shirtless beside the silently weeping Milvar. Naughty paced back and forth in the room, while Horatio knelt beside his chair with his hands pressed together, praying.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Another hour of silence passed. It was now 4:00 in the afternoon, and the doctors had taken Twilight into the operating room without a word. Fox had insisted to go with them, but they simply pushed him back and out of the way. Milvar refused to speak to anyone, instead letting tears slowly fall from his eyes without a sound. Horatio, who was busy eating at the time his door was practically busted down, had a small cut where he had bit his lip.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
When the door to the ER had finally opened, Celestia and Luna had joined the group, silently awaiting the news. A lone doctor with a blue coat and a white mane stepped out, her mask pulled down from her snout. All eyes were on her now, Milvar's puffy red eyes and wide open mouth awaiting the decisive words. Fox held his hands to his mouth. Naughty stopped pacing and stared. Horatio stopped praying and met the mare's eyes.
The mare smiled. "She'll make a full recovery."
Cheers erupted from the room, with Fox and Milvar hugging eachother tightly and Naughty sighing, patting his chest. Horatio sat still and silent, whistling quietly. The princesses simply smiled.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The sound of a clock quietly ticking away was the only sound in the operating room as Twilight glared daggers at Milvar and Fox.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Clong! Cuckoo!
"So," Fox said. "You're alive."
Twilight nodded. More uncomfortable silence.
"I know it's a tad worthless, but... uhh..." Milvar cleared his throat. "We're sorry."
"Yes, we are." Fox shifted his arm a bit to relieve stress from a cut.
Twilight glared, wordless. Not that she could talk, anyway. Her horn ignited, and a pillow from the empty bed beside hers floated up. Suddenly, it flung forward, swiping Fox and Milvar across their respective faces with one swing. Both recoiled in shock, recovering quickly.
"I guess I deserved that," Fox chuckled.
"Me too," Milvar replied.
"Look, uh... I don't know how to say this, but, I'm glad you're OK, Twilight." Fox tugged at his jacket a bit awkwardly.
"I am too," Milvar replied sadly. "Especially since I'm the one that did this to you."
"Does it hurt?" Fox asked, leaning closer. Twilight gave a slow nod.
"Gods above, forgive me for harming your poor body and mind," Milvar whispered.
Twilight then smiled and shook her hoof at him in a mock bout of anger.
"So I guess we're forgiven?" Fox asked, ears perking up. Twilight nodded again. "Thank goodness!"
"I don't think I could've lived with myself if we weren't," Milvar seconded. His breath came out in a relieved sigh.
Twilight smiled a bit, then used a hoof to tug and adjust the bandages surrounding her neck. She then dismissed them both with a hoof wave, flopping her head down with a groan. Almost instantly, she was dreaming. Fox smiled, and left. Milvar, however, stayed behind. He walked to Twilight's bedside and kneeled, stroking his beard nervously. He laid his hand upon Twilight's brow, then mumbled something under his breath; a prayer, told to him by his mother years ago.
"May Talos guide you to light. May you be stronger when in need, wiser when in panic and faster when in peril. May none stand in your path, and if that is so, may they be demolished. Talos Guide you." Twilight then shifted in her sleep, mumbling and wheezing. Milvar sighed and stood, exiting the room.
Upon stepping outside, he found that most of the room was empty now, save for the Princesses and Fox. Milvar knew what was coming next. He braced himself mentally for his punishment. Instead, he was embraced in a hug by none other than the fox he had just tried to murder.
"It's alright, buddy," Fox said. "I know I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"What...?" Milvar asked, puzzled. "But I... I tried to kill you!"
A nearby nurse shushed the pair, waving her hoof towards the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT - PLEASE KEEP QUIET sign.
"I know you did, but whatever caused that rage, it was my fault." Fox released Milvar and looked him in the eye.
"Well, you still owe me for kicking me in the round tables," Milvar joked. "But I guess I'm sorry too."
"You guess? " Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I am sorry," Milvar said, holding out a hand towards Fox. "Truce, furball?"
"Truce, brute," Fox said, chuckling, then took Milvar's hand and shook it merrily. "Now, let's get lunch. I'm starving."
"Wait," Princess Celestia demanded. Both men stopped dead in their tracks. "Come here a moment."
Fox and Milvar paced over to Celestia, who was still in her bathrobe, and stood in front of her nervously. They expected banishment, dungeon, and maybe even other horrid things for harming her beloved student. Princess Celestia eyed the two warily, her face expressionless. Then, she spoke.
"I am not angry with you," she said, much to the pair's relief. "But I am disappointed." This hurt the boy's morale even more. "Equestria is a land of friendship, magic and love. Never before have I ever seen such behavior. Even wars were less ruthless."
Milvar and Fox nodded, Fox's tail hung low behind his legs.
"Don't think you're going to walk away from this unpunished, however," Celestia said, tilting her head high. Her horn, which was still wrapped in a cast, glinted in the afternoon light. "I hereby sentence you two to kitchen duty for the remainder of the day."
Fox blinked. "That's it?" He scoffed. "With all due respect, Princess, I think that's a little dumb, don't you think?"
"How about a month of community labor, then?" Celestia replied. Her face was hard and unforgiving; she meant business. "Cleaning bathrooms, digging ditches, mining rocks...?"
"Uhh..." Milvar had a history with mining. He didn't like it. "I think kitchen duty is fine."
"Me too," Fox said. "Let's go make lunch!" The pair turned about and began their trek to the kitchen.
"One more thing," Celestia demanded. The boys looked back to her. "I'm also a bit proud of you. Murdering each other one day, friends the next." Celestia smiled warmly. "It's rare to see such forgiveness." She dismissed the pair with a flick of her head. "Get going! I'm hungry too!"
Fox and Milvar nodded, turning again and jogging in the general direction of the kitchen.
"So... he just burst out in rage?" Horatio asked.
"Yep." Naughty leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the dinner table, earning himself a glare from Princess Celestia. "Dunno what caused it. Fox just said one teensy thing to the guy, then BAM! "
Naughty's loud voice made more than one guardsman jump.
"Well!" Horatio stroked his mustache. "I've never heard of such a short fuse. Are they alright?"
Princess Celestia butted in. "They're in the kitchen, preparing supper."
"Is that so?" Horatio said, chuckling. "What's for supper, then? Donuts, french fries?"
"I hope not," Luna replied. "I'd prefer a rather cold meal; perhaps a cucumber soup with cabbage? Or maybe a banana split?"
"Banana split sounds good right about now..." Naughty rubbed his tummy hungrily.
Celestia chuckled. "I very much doubt we'll be having banana splits for our dinner, Lulu."
"Sis!" Luna hissed. "Don't call me that in front of our subjects..."
Celestia only giggled to herself once more.
A door opening caught the dinner party's attention. There stood Fox, carrying a heavy platter with both arms. His knees shook with effort as he lugged the massive plate towards the dinner table. Milvar came after, taking his time pushing a cart with ease. Fox grunted with each step, and finally flopped the gigantic platter onto the table which shook with the shock. He leaned against Celestia's chair for support, panting, garnering a laugh from the rest of the group. Milvar passed out plates and forks among the dinner guests.
"What's for grub, big guy?" Naughty asked.
"It's a surprise!" Milvar grinned. "But trust me, you'll like it."
"I'm famished!" Horatio declared. "Your majesty, would you do the honors?"
"Such a gentlepony," Celestia giggled, before lifting the silver dome off of the platter.
Everyone in the room, including the guards, gasped in shock. All except Milvar and Fox, who beamed proudly.
It was the biggest banana split anyone in the room had ever seen.
"Mother of Celestia," Luna whispered.
"Mother of both of us," Celestia finished.
"It's..." Horatio couldn't even finish his sentence.
Delecious chocolate sauce covered a large portion of the giant vanilla and strawberry ice cream balls, which were surrounded by split bananas in a large ring around the outside of the feast. Even more undescribable sauces and spices adorned the ice cream, ranging from sparkling green candies to big black plates of chocolate stuffed inside of the ice cream. The ice cream itself was enough to impress, with the entire mound being almost as tall as Celestia. Several plump cherries and other assorted fruit were spread among the top ice cream ball.
"It's..." Horatio said again, shaking his head and smiling.
"... It's GLORIOUS! " Naughty yelled.
"Very impressive!" Celestia remarked.
"Can we eat now?" Luna said, hopping in place with excitement.
"So this is why you two spent so long in there!" Horatio said, pointing an accusing finger at the guilty party, who high-fived at everyone's reaction.
"We couldn't think of any feast that would be enough for an apology..." Fox said, adjusting his jacket. "So we made this!"
"Both of you made it?" Celestia asked, impressed. "My, you two warmed up nicely!"
"Aye," Milvar said. "Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!"
That's just what everyone did. Naughty scooped a huge hunk of ice cream and chocolate sauce onto his place, then began devouring it immediately without pity. Horatio took a significantly smaller scoop, about the size of a watermelon, then draped it with candies and bananas. Luna didn't hold back - she literally dived head-first into her scoop, covering Celestia and an unfortunate Fox in chocolate. Celestia stopped taking small, royal bites and glared at her sister, whose muzzle was smeared with ice cream. She giggled innocently.
Schlop.
Luna's face was suddenly covered in even more ice cream, which seemed mortally impossible, as Celestia flung a huge hunk of it at her sister.
The table went silent.
"Oh boy," Naughty said, taking cover behind his chair. "Here we go."
"It's on!" Luna hissed.
Ice cream hunks were suddenly flying through the air in random directions, covering curtains, walls and the floor with slippery sauce. Horatio tried to make a getaway but ended up slipping on a banana, causing him to flop face first into a hunk of ice cream. He pulled back in shock from the cold, but soon burst out laughing, picking up a piece and hurling it at Milvar. Splat.
"BOOM! Headshot!" Horatio exclaimed.
Soon everyone was into the fray, with Celestia taking her perch atop the massive mound of melting banana split, chucking food this way and that. Naughty showed no mercy, using his plate and chair as a makeshift catapult to fling ice cream at others. Even the guards didn't escape the fray, several of them ending up with delicious splots of chocolate on their noses and various armor parts. One guard in particular even joined the fun, scraping a hunk of strawberry ice cream from his breastplate and hurling it towards the table.
Soon everyone was covered in ice cream, chocolate, bananas and sprinkles. Naughty took no haste in licking most off of himself, while Fox was trying to scrape some annoying chocolate from behind his ear. Celestia shook herself rather rediculously like a dog, spraying even more mess all over the place. The table was now quiet, save for some laughs and sputters of guests covered in sticky stuff.
"Well," Horatio declared. "I'm going to have a LOT to explain to Mission Control when I get back. These jumpsuits aren't machine washable!" His once orange undersuit was now a dull brownish-gray from all the ice cream it had absorbed.
"Machine washable?" Celestia asked.
"It's a fancy machine that some richer folks got," Naughty answered from across the table. "It washes your clothes for you."
"Everyone has one where I come from," Horatio said, taking a strip of ice cream from his mustache. "And boy, wait until Mission Control hears about you guys!"
"Uh oh," Luna suddenly interrupted. "Sister, your horn!"
"What's wrong?" Milvar asked, walking up to the princess. Upon closer inspection, he saw that the cast holding Celestia's horn on was slightly bent in the commotion.
"It's not that bad," Celestia remarked. "But alas, it needs treating. Guardsman!" One of Celestia's guards, whose one-white coat was now pink from ice cream, came up.
"Yes, your majesty?"
"Fetch the doctor immediately, please."
"As you wish," The guard replied before hastily galloping through the door, startling a maid and nearly covering her in ice cream.
"Vat is ze matter vit you?" She called after him. "Imbecile!" The maid turned to the open dining room door and curiously poked her head in.
"... Oh..."
The whole room turned their gaze to her, then suddenly went stark quiet. It was then that they realized that the entire room had been covered in ice cream. It melted quickly, dripping from walls, window sills and even the cieling in some places.
"... I..." The maid's cyan coat went white. "... I need to lie down."
The door closed quickly, and even Celestia felt a little guilty for what she had to put the maids through.
"Poor dear," Horatio mumbled. "She and her friends are going to have a lot to clean up."
"True," Luna replied. "But tis their job, hmm?"
"I suppose, your Highness."
The door opened again, and the doctor was ushered through by the guard. This doctor had what looked like a light red coat covered with darker red, but it was soon realized that he was covered in blood, much to the shock of the room's occupants. His mane was rather long for a colt, and it was a brilliant white with a few red splotches. Nonetheless, he made his way towards the princess.
"I don't care how this room got so filthy, or why you're all covered in ice cream," He said aloud. "My duty is to treat the princess."
"Why are you covered in blood...?" Fox asked, eyes wide.
"I just finished up a patient," The doctor chuckled. "Poor fellow. Hit that wall flying at least 80 miles an hour. Maids are gonna have a hard time cleaning that mess up. Heh!" The doctor finished adjusting Celestia's horn and gave the cast a little knock. It didn't budge.
"There ya go, your Highness! All fixed up!"
"Thank you, Dr. Stitches."
"No problem, ma'am," He said, backing up to admire his work. "Just doin' my job. Now, I got 2 heart transplant and a double ear replacement to take care of, so I'll catch you later!"
"Bye," Celestia called. The door shut unceremoniously as the doctor made his way out.
"Welp," Naughty said, "It's been a feast, and I'm stuffed. Literally."
"Me too," Milvar mumbled, patting his bulging belly.
"Same here," Fox said, suddenly burping loudly. "Whoof! Pardon me!"
"I think I'll take a shower before bed," Horatio finished. "Goodnight, everyone."
The party said their goodnights before heading off to their respective rooms to shower, shave and sleep. As Celestia made her way up to her bedroom, a couple guards couldn't help but giggle a bit from seeing their princess coated in ice cream and chocolate. Brown hoofprints led their way up the stairs, which a maid was cleaning up not far behind Celestia. When she reached her room at last, she wasted no time in dropping her golden cuirass and regalia in front of the shower before dousing herself in hot water. Scrub scrub scrub. Bits of chocolate and melted ice cream fell to the shower floor, and were quickly washed into the drain. When Celestia had finally rid herself of the mess, she shampooed her mane and tail before stepping out and wrapping herself in a towel. She brushed her teeth, combed her mane and all the good stuff before making her way towards her bathroom door. She opened it wide-
-and almost smacked Fox in the face with her it.
"Gyahh!" She yelled, quickly shielding herself with her towel. Not that she needed to.
"Whagh!" Fox replied in his own scream of peril, toppling backwards and flopping on his rump to the floor.
"Fox!" Celestia roared. "What in Equestria are you doing in my room?!"
"A thousand pardons!" Fox said, averying his eyes from the nude Celestia. "I didn't hear you in there, I swear!"
Celestia suddenly burst out laughing, letting her towel drop to the floor. Her mane wasn't flowing due to the fact that it was almost dripping wet.
"I'm sorry, I over-reacted. Don't worry, I've got fur, you can look."
"Uhh..." Fox slowly turned his head back toward Celestia. "Sorry, sorry... Umm, my room's locked, and I forgot my key in there."
"... Really?" Celestia asked sarcastically. "I guess you'll have to sleep with me tonight, then."
"No, no!" Fox stammered. His already red cheeks could now bring water to a boil. "I just wanted to ask for a spare key!"
"Of course," Celestia scoffed. "I was joking, by the way. Sure, just ask the mare at the front desk for a spare key."
"There's a front desk?" Fox asked. "Wow, this castle really is big. Anyways, thanks."
Fox left the room quickly, leaving Celestia to herself.
"Such a funny fellow," She told herself before flopping down on her bed. Suddenly, she had the greatest idea ever.
"Hmm... Been a while since I played a good prank..."
Day 4/5: Body of a Mare, Mind of a Filly
Fox was now officially pissed.
First he'd locked himself out of his own room, and now the front desk can't help him because the mare wasn't there. He tried ringing the bell, but the first 6 times didn't work. Not even his superior patience could help him now; he trudged his way up the stairs that led to the castle's second floor, hoping to take refuge in one of his friends' rooms.
Naughty? No, he was too... creepy. Fox felt strange around Naughty, as if he had a horrible past that none were meant to know. He didn't like the continuous angry glaring he gave everyone either, not to mention staring off into space on occasion - a sure sign of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Milvar? He wasn't the worst guy around, but fox still felt a tad awkward around him after their fight. Fox still couldn't bring himself to look his friend in the eye, even if they were allies again. Fox also didn't like his unkempt beard and body hair as it made him seem like an angry bear, ready to pounce on anyone that got in his way.
Horatio? Meh, he wasn't so bad. The only real problem Fox had with him was the guy's jumpsuit; it had several tubes around it to keep him cool in his suit, and the only other outfit he had resembled a mechanic's jumpsuit. And it looked just like one, too - grease and oil stains were visible all over the jumpsuit. Otherwise, the man was spick and span, and Fox even considered growing a mustache himself in jealousy of Horatio's. However, he didn't like how the guy smelled. Fox, being a fox, had a superior sense of smell, and what he smelled on Horatio reeked of nylon and laundry that rubbed him in all the wrong ways.
Then there were the ponies. Of course, he couldn't bear to sleep in the same bed as Celestia again. It was just... weird. She was so much bigger than him, and even if she was an ally, he was still intimidated by her horn. It looked a lot sharper than Twilight's. She wasn't an option either, since she was obviously in no shape to share her bed.
Then there was Luna.
Fox didn't know Luna too well. He'd said hello when he walked by, and she returned the gesture each time. That was pretty much it. Fox didn't really want to get to know her better by suddenly requesting to sleep in her room with her. Other than that, there we no other options besides a bench in the lobby. He reviewed his options.
"
Luna it was.
It had taken her at least an hour to get it all out of her fur, but she had done it. Luna was now clean as usual. Of course, her mane was still a mess and she'd just stepped out of the shower, so her fur was messy as well. After taking a glance at herself in a foggy mirror, she giggled to herself. She resembled a giant, blue fluffy bear. Her fur being stuck up made her look much larger than she actually was.
She was in the middle of brushing her mane when a knock on her door.
"Who would ask my presence at such a time?" She mumbled to herself.
Luna set down her brush and did her best to make herself look presentable. Her fur was already patted down, so she had no worries. The only thing that looked bad about her was her mane and tail, which had several strands each of ghostly hair sticking up. Luna reached her door.
"Yes?" She asked through the wood.
"It's me, your Majesty," Came a voice. It was Fox's.
Luna opened the door cautiously, hoping her appearance wouldn't distract Fox. She smiled and greeted Fox with a smile.
"Fox! Nice of us to see you."
"Us?" Fox asked, peering behind Luna. Nobody was there.
"Ahem," Luna corrected. "I meant to say nice of me to see you."
"Likewise."
An awkward silence followed.
"Um...?" Luna glanced over her shoulder idly.
"Oh!" Fox remembered. "Sorry, I was distracted. I had a favor to ask."
"Distracted?" Luna was secretly hurt inside; was Fox joking at her appearance?
"Yes, sorry about that. I've just never seen you without your necklace or crown on."
Luna suddenly felt naked. She pressed her haunches together absentmindedly. "I... see. What was the favor you ask of us?"
Fox was thrown off again by the royal tongue. "Uh, I got locked out of my room and have nowhere to go. I was wondering if..."
Luna's cheeks flushed a bright red, triggering Fox's awkward excuse mechanism.
"I, uh, just need somewhere to go, cause, um..."
"We understand," Luna said, chuckling to herself. "You are welcome to stay in our bed while we go about our nightly duties."
"Really?" Fox asked, surprised. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.
"Of course, my subject. What's ours is yours!"
"Well, uh..." Fox looked away, pawing the ground with his boot. "Thanks, I guess."
"You're more than welcome!" Luna flashed a smile and turned to walk back into her room. "Enter." It sounded more like a demand than a welcome.
Fox walked into the room. Rather than the bright colors of Celestia's room, the walls sported a dark navy blue and seemed to sparkle as moonlight reflected off of them from the window. Her bed was much like Celestia's, but with purple sheets instead of red. Beside it sat a bedstand decorated with multiple picture frames, filled with smiling pictures of what Fox assumed was Luna and Celestia as children. To his surprise, in one picture, he barely recognized Celestia without her fancy mane. In the photo it was a solid color, but due to the black-and-white effect of old-timey photos, he couldn't tell what color it originally was. Luna's mane was the same.
"Her mane was pink," Luna stated, appearing from nowhere and making Fox jump in surprise. He found himself standing next to her bed, admiring the photos.
"I can imagine yours was black?" Fox asked, curious.
"Nay, t'was a baby bluish color," Luna corrected. "Though at one time, my coat was black."
"I imagine that would've been cool," Fox said, crossing his arms. "But I think navy blue suits you better."
Luna turned away, blushing wildly. "Fox, please!" She giggled. "Such flattery is unneeded in my chambers."
"I'm being honest," Fox said, holding his arms up in protest. "You know, you remind me of someone."
"May I ask whom?"
"Her name is-"
DONG!
Both Fox and Luna jumped in surprise. The noise came from a tall grandfather clock in the far corner of the room. Its hands showed midnight. Luna yelped in realization.
"I forgot; my duties. I must leave for an hour or two, Fox. Keep yourself occupied!"
Fox didn't even have time to respond as Luna dashed into her bathroom to finish powdering herself up. He had to admit, she was a pretty mare. The hair sticking up was humorous enough. When Fox first saw her, he struggled to hold back a laugh. Within a minute, Luna was back out again, with her armor on and mane in place.
"I now depart," She stated, pushing open a huge window that was actually a door to Fox's surprise. It led to a balcony, much like the one he landed on.
Luna was off without another word, her wings unfurling and lifting her into the night sky where she blended in so well that Fox thought she had disappeared. He looked on with amazement.
"Wish I had wings," Fox remarked.
He decided to settle down for a bit. He took off his jacket, minding the hole where he had shot himself, and hung it on a coat rack by the door. On it hung a simple black cloak, and standing beside it was a statue that sported silverish-blue armor that looked far too big to fit on Luna. Celestia, maybe. Perhaps this was meant for her to wear when she got older?
Fox took another look at the photos next. In the first, Celestia and Luna sat next to a tall white alicorn with a simple mane. Their mother, by the looks of it. Luna, a baby in the photo, sat on the head of a smiling teenage Celestia, who wore an ancient pair of what looked like braces on her teeth. He noticed then that Luna didn't have her Cutie Mark - butt stamp, as he called them - in that particular photo.
The next photo had a beaming Celestia sitting next to a huge cake. On top of the cake sat a giant wax candle that read "1000" on it. Her 1000th birthday. Luna, however, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, an older picture of her with a short blue mane sat on a golden platter surrounded by flowers. Had Luna died and returned at one point? He had to ask her later.
The third picture was a fully grown Celestia standing tall next to an intimidating jet black mare, wearing the same set of armor that had been spotted next to the coat rack. Her mane looked almost identical to Luna's current mane. Fox noticed for the first time that the black mare was smiling, instead of snarling, which had been Fox's first guess. Above the pair, a banner was strung overhead: "Happy Nightmare Night!"
The final photo was what really caught Fox's attention. Teenager Celestia was standing next to a... thing. It looked like a dragon got thrown into a blender with a mule, lion, chicken and... God knows what. It also had one oversized fang that hung from its upper lip, and two mismatched wings jutted out from behind it. Celestia was putting on a mock angry face at the monster, while a much younger Luna, once again with the short mane, rode on its back.. The dragon thing leaned his elbow on Celestia's head, giving her a fake noogie. It looked like they were great friends, but the thing that jutted out the most was the monster for sure.
Ten minutes later, Fox was bored out of his mind. He sat in front of a large television screen, which had a white game console plugged into it. The word "Xbox 360" was printed on the front of it, and a large selection of different games sat beside it in their cases. Fox had something akin to this on the Great Fox II, but it was much more advanced.
He tried to get the console to turn on, hoping to try out a game or two, but he couldn't seem to find out how to hook it up. On the Great Fox II, everything was hard-wired into the ship, so Fox didn't really have any experience with wiring things together; that was Slippy's job. He eventually gave up on it, and sat back on a sofa that was planted in front of the TV. He picked up the remote and tried to figure out which button was the power button. After a few tries, the TV clicked on.
"... and only 19 were injured, but luckily, there were no casualties."
Click.
"When this baby hits 88 miles per hour... You're gonna see-"
Click.
"Now we'll move onto cleaning the fish. First, you-"
Click.
After about 10 minutes and 90 channels, Fox finally found a good channel. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, as he couldn't understand a word the ponies were saying, but he liked where it was going; A huge battle consisting of battle mechs resembling ponies on their back legs fought each other on top of a volcano, each side fighting for the higher ground. Blue mechs blew up red ones, and red ones tore apart blue ones. Defeated and destroyed mechs lay in the path of molten lava, which melted the unlucky pilots who managed to survive the battle. The final two mechs now grappled at the peak of the volcano, and a close-up of the red pilot's face ensued.
"Sore o akirameru!" he snarled. "Anata wa, watashi ga katsu koto o shitte iru!"
The blue pilot's mech suddenly crumpled under the weight of the red one, sending it sprawling on its belly over the edge of the volcano's mouth. In a final bout of defiance, the blue mech dug one giant sword into the lip of the edge.
The blue said nothing.
"Tetsu no hidzume no shita de kurasu ka shinu!"
"Watashi wa anata no fashisuto junban ni kussuru koto wa arimasen!"
The blue mech's second sword swept the red mech's legs out from underneath it, causing it to trip and fall into the volcano as well, grabbing onto the blue mech's back leg with a giant claw.
"Ane, matte!"
"Anata wa watashi no kyōdai kamo shirenaiga, anata wa watashi no mikata ni naru koto wa arimasen!"
The blue mech reached down with a giant sword and sliced its own leg off, sending the red mech and its screaming pilot sailing into the lava below. With a loud smack, the mech disappeared into the molten rock, the last sounds of its pilot disappearing into the exploding fuel tanks that powered the mech.
Then came the credits. All in a funny language Fox couldn't understand.
"I never knew you liked anime!"
Fox leaped out of the sofa screaming in surprise. Out of instinct, he reached for his blaster, which was nowhere to be found. He wheeled around to see Luna staring at him, cocking her head curiously. She smiled innocently.
"How long have you been there?!" Fox asked, clutching his breast to slow his heartbeat.
"About 10 minutes. I like this episode."
Fox was still astonished. She had been silent the whole time. Not even Fox's ears could pick up her wingbeats or hoofsteps.
"I got bored, and I came across the channel randomly."
"Well, it's a good channel," Luna said, picking up the remote with her magic and switching to a different channel. "Come, watch the screen with us."
"I dunno, your Majesty. I'm kind of tired, to be honest."
"Just for a bit?" Luna's eyes were pleading.
Fox groaned in frustration. "Fine... but only one," Fox said as he flopped onto the couch next to the lazing Luna.
Fox couldn't help but laugh at the mare. She was splayed out on the couch, taking up at least half of his space. She looked tired too, but she still smiled at him. She had her rump towards Fox, and she had to swing her tail to make room for Fox. He sat down and crossed his legs, resting one arm on the armrest and the other on his lap. He handed Luna the remote, and she took it in her magical aura. She switched a few more channels until she found one that interested her.
Together, they awkwardly watched an episode of a police chase show. A single colt wearing a bandito mask sprinted away from three pegasus police officers, each wielding a baton and tazer. After being cornered, the crook took no hesitation in hauling out a knife before stabbing one of the officers and getting his face bashed in by a baton.
"This crook thinks he can get away with stabbing a lawman. The only thing he got away with was a black eye."
Fox idly turned his head to look at Luna, who was engrossed in the show. He couldn't help but glimpse at her rump, and just as he did, Luna snapped her eyes toward him.
Caught red-handed.
"See something you admire?" She asked, wiggling her hiney a bit.
Fox was taken by surprise, turning his head quickly. "N-no, no! It was an accident!"
"So Tia was right, you really are sheepish!" Luna giggled to herself before adjusting herself so that her behind faced the armrest.
"So... you were kidding?"
"Naturally!" Luna put a hoof to her mouth and let out another giggle.
"You're just like your sister," Fox teased. "All these sex jokes, and so playful..."
At the mention of the word playful, Luna's eyes widened and she blushed profusely.
"... What?" Fox asked, ears folding back. "I didn't offend you, did I?"
"Nay... You just..." Luna cleared her throat awkwardly. "Surprised us, is all."
"... Oookay," Fox joked, turning his head back to the TV to watch more police chases.
Luna was never so embarrassed in her life. Sure, she had been pranked by Discord and Celestia countless times, but never before had she been complimented by someone she liked. At first, she liked Horatio, but after getting to know Fox, she shifted more to him. Suddenly, her neck almost gave out, jolting her awake.
She looked around the room to find the television turned off and Fox snoring away beside her. He was still in a sitting position, albeit a bit slouched, with his arms crossed and ears pinned back. She blushed at the thought of sleeping with Fox, then proceeded to snag a spare blanket from her closet and drape Fox in it. All the while, she sat still, letting her magic do the work. She eyed Fox every now and then, admiring just how peaceful he was when he slept. His ears twitched with every snore, eliciting a giggle from Luna.
Luna's eyelids were heavy, and she felt even heavier. It had been a long day, and she needed sleep. She moved to stand up, but her legs screamed in protest and forced her to plant her butt right on the couch again. She glanced to her bed. It was so far away! At least nine feet!
Seeing as she was exhausted, lazy and hungry for breakfast already, Luna decided to share the couch with Fox. She snuggled up against her side of the couch, accidentally bumping Fox's thigh with her hoof. She froze in place, her eyes the only thing moving, observing Fox. He shifted, but fell back asleep in seconds.
Smiling in content, she levitated a pillow from her bed and rested her head on it, using the armrest for support. She pulled a bit of Fox's blanket on top of herself, then let herself drift off to a wonderful sleep, her sore muscles unfurling and headache receding.
And somewhere, just outside the bedroom window, a white goddess hovered, a bag of interesting items at the ready.
It was perfect. Beyond perfect.
Celestia thought that she was going to have a hard time getting the pair to sleep in the same room. Of course, the whole incident was an accident. But that didn't make matters any different - Luna had just flopped down next to Fox. And now she was under the covers with him. This couldn't get any better.
But then it did.
By sheer coincidence, Luna had left her balcony door unlocked, letting a breeze open the door ever so slightly. Not enough to disturb the sleeping victims, but enough to alert the Princess of the Sun of the door's status. Celestia felt herself shiver in anticipation. The looks on their faces when they woke up would be priceless if she did things right. Celestia continued flapping her wings to fight the force of gravity, and eventually landed gracefully on the balcony. The only sound made was not by her, but instead by the large duffel bag she had slung over her shoulder. A quiet but noticable clunkle-clink of various items knocking together caused Celestia to tense for a moment, then relax.
Celestia quietly rested the bag on the ground. It had been causing her trouble with flying since she'd stuffed it with all her pranking needs, but now that she had said weight lifted, she took a quiet moment to stretch her wings and let her silver blood flow through them again. She then peered at the door again, verifying that it wasn't locked, and opened the duffel bag. Celestia swore she could see its contents glowing angelically.
The bag was littered with a great many items that were... well, not foal-friendly. Playcolt magazines, a box of XL condoms and a multitude of plastic rods shaped according to certain organs of the male anatomy; some not even equine. Celestia smiled cruelly. Her sister was going to freak.
Celestia slowly and quietly pushed open the door with a hoof. She let out a quiet curse when she bumped her injured horn against the frame (as it was obivously made for Luna, not Celestia), then took a careful step inside. Now she could get a better view of the situation. The TV was left on, and upon closer examination, it looked like the room needed a bit of dusting done. Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary. But that was going to change soon. Very soon.
Celestia set to work, stashing various horrid items throughout Luna's room. She took a few condoms, stretched them out then very carefully laid them next to the sleeping duo. A couple of naughty magazines here, an overturned piece of furniture there... And, of course, a few empty bottles of Applejack Daniel's, laid accordingly on the floor next to the clueless victims. Luna's bed was quickly adorned with some naughty lingerie, and a ball gag Celestia had to disguise herself to buy without drawing attention. Celestia almost burst out laughing, but quieted it to a snort when the pulled out the second-last item. Lipstick.
Why was lipstick so funny? Well, alone, it isn't. But if it's very carefully applied to a mare's lips then drawn on an unaware sleeping fox's cheeks and chest, it can make for a very surprising revelation in the morning. Luckily, Fox's undershirt was already half-pulled off, so Celestia didn't have much trouble drawing fake smears all over him.
And last, but definitely not least, came a sticky white mixture of corn starch and water, mixed carefully to resemble a certain liquid. She even sweetened it with sugar if a curious Luna gave it a taste. Celestia drizzled the goop onto a few places of interest. Luna's bed, bathroom mirror, curtains and the blanket the two shared were soon littered with several white streaks each. Now the best part.
Celestia very, very carefully pulled the blanket off of the pair. With a quick check to make sure the pair were still in a deep sleep, she drizzled a few white streaks onto poor Luna's muzzle, mane and even rump. Celestia wanted to go further, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Then, as the finishing touch, a large glob of the remaining slime was drizzled onto Fox's pants.
Suddenly, Fox's eyes snapped open. Celestia froze, and their eyes locked.
"... Five more minutes." Fox shifted a bit, then his eyes shut again.
Celestia slowly withdrew herself, having to shove her face into one of Luna's bed pillows to keep her snickers from being heard. She stood and admired her handiwork. It looked like the pair had hosted a sexy party last night, and the white strips of corn starch goo sure made it look believable. Celestia took a spare condom and filled it with a small bit that was left in the container, just for safe measure, and laid it next to Fox before snatching the empty duffel bag, spreading her wings and darting away.
Upon reaching her bedroom a few minutes of flying later, Celestia lost it. She laughed, she hawwed, she snorted into her pillow until she slowly laughed herself to sleep.
Luna's mental alarm clock went off, gently waking her from her slumber. She was awake, but didn't open her eyes yet. She delayed her alarm for a few minutes. She savored those last few minutes of sleep she had, before her mental buzzer went off again. Reluctantly, Luna cracked one eye open. The first thing she saw was her belly; she had managed to curl up in a ball like a dog. She unfurled herself and slowly stretched out her back, before remembering Fox was still sleeping beside her. She blushed a bit at this, but nevertheless relaxed at the satisfying pops her vertebrae made. Still facing away from Fox, she began to stand up to raise the Sun for her sister. Then, Luna noticed something far out of the ordinary; her nose was covered in some white stain.
Luna crossed her eyes to get a better look at it, and gave it a poke with her hoof. It was still a bit gooey, and had the consistency of slippery gelatin. She took a bit on her hoof and stuck it into her mouth; salty, yet sweet at the same time. It was probably some ice cream that Luna had missed last night. She then remembered she had showered and washed it all off of her. Puzzled, and still weary, she let her eyes droop and she planted her rump on the couch. Squelch.
Luna jumped at the sudden noise, and as she stood up and turned around, got her first glimpse of Fox. She recoiled in shock, seeing the fellow covered in the same white slime and with a few lipstick kiss-marks on his face and chest, which was exposed as his shirt was now lying on the floor. She turned and looked at what she sat on, and found out her rump and even some of her tail had the same white goo on it.
What happened last night?
Luna opened her eyes a bit to get a better look at Fox, but something in her peripheral caught her vision - a long, pink rod. The still sleepy Luna took a few seconds to stare at it, before realizing what is was. She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her hoof, which was covered in something else slimy. She pulled her hoof away, and the same red lipstick was all over Luna's mouth, smeared badly.
Oh no.
The puzzle pieces slowly came together as Luna spied the various other items in the room; dildos, Playcolt magazines, more smears of white stuff and other naughty items of interest were scattered about the room. Luna's eyes widened in shock as she realized exactly what she had on her muzzle. She took quick, shallow breaths, her eyes never blinking at the various horrors around her. Fox was still sound asleep, but Luna was far from sleeping now. Her heart raced in her chest, threatening to burst out at any moment. Luna went lightheaded, and nearly tripped on a bottle of Applejack Daniel's.
"We didn't." Luna said quietly to herself, her voice trembling. "We didn't."
Fox shifted in his sleep, before one of his eyes slid open, the other following. His eyes shot open at the sight Luna was; tassled mane, smeared lipstick... Wait, lipstick? Fox took a closer look at Luna, who still hadn't noticed him waking up. It appeared she had multiple smears of something white on her body, muzzle and behind. Her breaths were quick, her eyes were bloodshot and her wings were flared. Something wasn't right. Fox then looked down and saw himself.
He almost yelled at the sight of the same lipstick covering his chest, and he only now realized his crotch was covered in a crusty white substance. He immediately knew what it was. He turned his head to see the same horrors Luna did.
A minute of the two silently dying on the inside passed.
Fox broke the silence. "Luna..."
Luna jumped at Fox's voice, only now realizing he was awake.
"Fox... You're..." Luna couldn't finish her sentence, her voice cutting off.
"What happened last night?" Fox asked. Luna turned away, blushing.
"The alcohol... It must have..."
"No." Fox cut her off, his voice stern. "I don't drink. I would never do anything like this."
"Then explain!" Luna yelled, the room trembling.
"I remember watching that show with you, and that was it. I don't even remember going for booze!" Fox sighed and looked around the room. "Besides, I don't think any of this is yours."
"What do you mean?" Luna asked, suddenly curious.
Fox reached down and pulled up a girl's toy, almost the length of his forearm and tossed it to her. She caught it and took a look at it; it was definitely too big. She turned back to Fox, who was now standing up.
"I don't think it would fit either," Fox said, chuckling.
"Fox!" Luna roared, blushing. "Stop!" Luna couldn't help but smirk in dark humor.
"Look," Fox said. "I know we didn't do anything last night." Fox made a futile attempt to wipe the lipstick from his chest. "If I did, I would know."
"Just to be sure, I shall check myself." Luna began to walk towards the bathroom.
"How?" Fox asked, kicking away a stray bottle.
"I was, and hopefully still am, a virgin," Luna spoke back before disappearing into the bathroom. Fox blushed heavily.
"So... you're gonna check..." Fox dropped the subject.
A moment later, Luna emerged from the bathroom.
"I am pure." She smiled, relieved.
"Heh, good to know..." Fox shook his head to clear himself of any odd thoughts.
"My sister will be waiting for us at the breakfast table in about 30 minutes," Luna said, wiping a white streak off of her necklace before slipping it on. "Get ready in the bathroom, and wash up. I will have maids clean this up."
"Um, won't they get... you know..." Fox made a few motions with his hands. "Suspicious?" He demonstrated in the way only he could, as he had fingers; a finger going in and out of a loop repeatedly.
"Not with a few extra bits on their paycheck," Luna giggled. "Now hurry up, I need to shower too."
Fox wasted no time, picking up his jacket from the floor and bringing it into the bathroom with him. He shut and locked the door before stripping himself and turning on the water, letting it warm up. He took the time to relieve himself before stepping inside and washing up, savoring the sensation of hot water cleaning his fur. He used a healthy amount of shampoo to get the lipstick stains off of his face and chest, not forgetting to get behind his sensitive ears which always seemed to get itchy at the worst of times. He also made sure to clean off his tail, which was one of the few parts he didn't cover up in his uniform. He was surprised to find a small pair of lingerie panties tucked inside his fluff; how it had got there, he didn't want to know. When he was finished, he turned off the water and pulled open the curtains, stepped out and dried off. Dressed and proper, he stepped out and spent a much longer time waiting for Luna to finish showering.
"What is taking you so long?" He called.
"This white stuff isn't coming out!" She snapped back. "I'll just be a bit longer!"
"We're late for breakfast, and if I miss pancakes, you're at fault for it!"
"There's one tiny little stain I just can't reach, even with my magic," Luna called. "Would you care to scrub it for me?"
"Sure!" Fox said sarcastically. He then realized what he had just said.
"... Well, come in here, then!" Luna could be heard stepping out and unlocking the door.
"Um... I'd rather not, actually!" Fox said loudly enough for her to hear.
The door opened unexpectedly, causing Fox to jump back in surprise and trip over a conveniently placed "boy toy". He averted his eyes immediately, trying not to look at the princess' nude form. She was still dripping wet, her mane plastered and weighted down by water, with no trace of waviness to be seen. Her tail fared no better.
"What's wrong?" Luna asked, cocking her head. "You've seen me without my metals on before, yes?"
"Yeah," Fox said, daring a look at Luna. "It's just... awkward when you're in the shower."
"I just need a hand with one stain, please?" Luna giggled, stepping closer to Fox.
"No!" Fox turned and crossed his arms, back facing Luna. "Now go finish up, I'm hungry."
"I can't even see where it is!" Luna begged.
"Then how do you know it's there?" Fox asked, peeking over his shoulder.
"I can feel it clumped in my fur." Luna's eyes went puppy-like. "Please?"
Fox knew the feeling; the feeling of something sticky in your fur that just won't come out. He felt a pang of pity for the princess.
"Oh, fine," He scoffed, turning around. "Where is it?"
Luna turned around unexpectedly, baring her rear end to Fox and making him shield his eyes again.
"It's just a little below the middle of my back," Luna said, as if nothing awkward were happening at all. "See it?"
"Yeah," Fox said chuckling. "But give me warning next time, I thought you were gonna whip me with that tail of yours!"
"Just get the clump," Luna scoffed, rolling her eyes. She jumped at a sudden pressure on her back, before it pulled away again.
"There," Fox said. "Happy?"
"Very!" Luna said. "I'll just dry myself and shall join you momentarily."
Luna kept her promise; within a few minutes the pair were fully dressed and on their way to the royal dining room. On the way out, Luna summoned a maid with her bedroom bell. Before the maid entered, Luna made sure the mare was a few bits richer before leaving her with a mess that nearly made the poor thing faint.
"Mon dieu," She cursed, whipping out her trusty feather duster. "Zis is going to tage a while."
Celestia was still giggling when she went for her daily morning check-up. After a puzzled doctor examined her horn and determined it was still healing properly, he let her go. More laughs at breakfast, causing the three aliens, minus Fox (obviously) to ponder, but nonetheless continue waiting for their noms. After a few morning greetings and several minutes of two obvious people not showing up, Celestia decided to liven things up a bit.
"Someone's not here," Celestia said, faking concern.
"I noticed that," Naughty said. "But who is it?"
"Guess," Horatio said. "Who are the only two not here, having breakfast with us?"
"Fox and the blue pony," Milvar said, crossing his arms. "I know where they are."
"You do?" Celestia asked, almost bursting out laughing at the same time.
"Yeah," Milvar said, leaning closer. "I saw Fox go into Luna's room last night." He snorted and danced his eyebrows suggestively.
Several excited murmurs went around the table.
"I wonder what's taking them so long?" Celestia asked, over-exaggerating.
As if on cue, the dining room door opened. In trailed Fox and Luna, and surprisingly, a somewhat shaky Twilight Sparkle. The group recoiled in surprise, but Horatio was the first to greet her.
"Well, look who's feeling better already!"
"Thanks," Twilight said back, her voice raspy. "Those doctors sure know their stuff."
"We met her on the way back," Fox explained. "I'm still shocked."
"As am I," Celestia smiled warmly. "Welcome, my student."
When the three had taken their seats, idle conversation began around the table over a breakfast of eggs and toast, much to Luna's distaste. Surprisingly, there was bacon alongside their meals, which Celestia claimed that a Griffon traveller shared. The ponies refused to even taste the meat. More conversation.
They talked about the possibility of Horatio returning on his spaceship, which was highly unlikely, and the true nature of Naughty's profession. Naughty described the bears he lived around as cruel and uncaring, which had caused him to grow to such an attitude, hence his nickname Naughty. Though his real name was Norman, he still preferred Naughty. Eventually, Milvar decided to change the subject.
"Alright, I'll be the one to ask." He turned to Fox, who was sitting across the table. "Where were you last night?"
"What?" Fox asked, a small bead of sweat forming on his brow. Luna shifted uncomfortably.
"You heard me," Milvar said, smirking. "We all know you spent the night in the blue one's room."
Celestia feigned surprise. "My, my! Lulu, is this true?"
"... Aye," She said, averting her eyes. "He locked himself out."
"I know that much. Yet I never knew you allowed him in." Celestia rested her head on a hoof, before levitating a forkful of egg into her mouth.
"T'was not in any way sexual!" Luna blurted, making everyone in the room widen their eyes a bit. A few of the guards' ears flicked forward.
Celestia laughed out loud. "Ah, I see. Just an act of kindness, hm?"
"I bet she showed him more than kindness," Milvar snorted, causing the entire table to erupt into laughter, minus the obvious pair.
"Well..." Fox said, leaning back and taking a bite of bacon. "Funny story, actually."
Luna shook her head at Fox. Please no, her eyes read.
The entire table shook with laughter, even the victims of Celestia horrible prank, which she openly admitted after a few accusations from her sister during a few funnier parts of the story where Celestia laughed harder than usual. Naughty couldn't breathe, his sides refusing to release his laughter, and Horatio had literally fallen on the floor when he learned of the pair's misfortune. Even Twilight joined in, her voice a tad less raspy than before.
"I knew it was you all along, sis, " Luna growled. "And trust me, I will get revenge for this."
"I understand, Lulu," Celestia chuckled. "But for now, shall we just finish our breakfast?" To demonstrate, she lifted a forkful of egg and shoveled it into her mouth.
She immediately spat it out, coughing.
"Princess?" Naughty asked. "You good?"
Celestia hacked a bit before looking down at what she had just eaten: A hefty chunk of slightly chewed bacon now lay on her plate. Her stomach turned and she barely managed to hold back bile.
"Eugh! Horseapples!" She cursed.
The rest of the table looked on in worry at the princess, who summoned a pitcher of water from a guard. Down the hatch. After a few more glasses, the princess allowed herself to talk again.
"I can't believe I did that," She said, mentally berating herself. "Gross." The table chuckled.
"Hey," Fox said, shrugging. "It's not that bad, is it?"
"It's... I can't even describe it. How do you manage to eat this?" She stuck her tongue out in disgust.
"It's delicious!" Horatio joked, stuffing a strip into his mouth and chewing merrily. "Mmm!"
All of the ponies shuddered.
"Well," Twilight thought. "It can't be too bad, can it?"
"Don't do it, Twilight." Celestia eyed her student carefully. "Trust me, you won't like it."
A curious Twilight lifted her fork with her magic, picked off a piece of bacon, and put it in her mouth, much to the surprise of the others. Her ears pinned themselves back, and she disdainfully swallowed the morsel of meat. The breakfast club waited for her response.
"Well?" Milvar asked, sticking a whole strip of bacon into his mouth. "Is it that gross to ponies?"
"It's..." Twilight coughed, grasping her bandages around her neck. "I've... I've tasted worse."
"I highly doubt that," Celestia chuckled, wiping her tongue with a napkin. "Absolutely horrid."
Luna too gave the bacon a try, with similar results; disgust and an almost lost stomach's worth for the second time in the morning.
"I think it's somewhere between celery and a lot of salt," She stated, forcing herself to swallow a bit. "I think I'm going to throw up."
"Seriously?" Naughty asked. "Is it that bad?"
"Yes!" All three ponies moaned. A nearby guard giggled to himself.
"In all seriousness, I think that was hilarious," Fox laughed. "As they say, Karma's a bitch, eh?"
"Remember," Twilight said. "She might seem a bit tall and intimidating, but trust me, she's like a mother to me."
Twilight used her hoof to slowly crack open the door to Celestia's bedroom. The door made a quiet creaking sound as it slid open on its hinges, followed soon by Luna poking her snout into the room.
"Tia?" Luna asked.
"Yes, my dear sister?" Celestia answered back.
"I have the ones that were sent here, as you requested."
"Send them in, please." Celestia was quiet for a moment, before speaking again. "Now. "
Twilight was quick to turn around and motion her two companions to follow her. Their thoughts of Celestia being kind and helpful like Twilight immediately vanished when they heard the sternness of Celestia's voice. Plodding quietly and carefully behind Twilight, they entered the room slowly. Luna followed behind them.
The first thing they noticed was that the room was absolutely gorgeous. Pictures of suns, royal symbols and a fancy fireplace sat next to a bookshelf and a comfy-looking bed. The bed was occupied by who the pair assumed to be Celestia; a huge, white horse with a fancy hairdo that swirled in the air. The two took notice that both Luna and Celestia had similar hairdos. Milvar swallowed and held his hands behind his back, missing the familiar weight of his battleaxe. Naughty was less affected by Celestia's tone, however, and simply strutted in like he owned the place. The door thudded shut as Luna sealed it behind herself.
"Alright, first thing's first," Celestia spoke, leaning on one elbow to glare at the two aliens in her bedroom. "What have you two got to say for yourselves?"
Naughty and Milvar stayed silent. Celestia chuckled a bit before continuing.
"I'm just joking! Sheesh."
Milvar and Naughty peered up to meet Celestia's gaze once again, this time one of amusement.
"I'm Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. I see you've met my sister, Luna."
"Milvar, your majesty," Milvar replied. "It's a great honor."
"The name's Naughty Bear," said bear announced. "Nice to meet ya."
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Bear," Celestia spoke, raising an eyebrow. "I'm assuming something akin to this has happened before?"
"Ehhh..." Naughty trailed off.
Celestia shrugged away Naughty's awkwardness and continued. "I want to personally welcome you to Equestria."
Milvar and Naughty silently thanked the princess.
"Oh, come on!" Celestia joked. "Loosen up, it's not like I'm going to send you to the m-"
Luna's evil glare stole Celestia's words.
"The dungeons," Celestia began again. "I was going to say dungeons."
An awkward silence followed.
Several minutes later, the ensemble were joking around casually, not even caring about being in the presence of royalty. Much like Fox, they were treated to funny stories and jokes galore from the two princesses, who were a lot softer on the inside than they looked. They had eased up nicely.
A knock on the door followed one of Naughty's jokes, jerking the group out of their conversation.
"Who is it?" Celestia called.
"Fox, your highness," A male voice replied. "May I come in?"
"Certainly. Come meet our new guests!"
The door to the bedroom opened, revealing a short, stocky fox. He walked on two legs, unlike many of the species Twilight had seen, but he seemed friendly nonetheless. His smile warmed up to her nicely.
"Hello, everyone," Fox said. "Name's Fox McCloud."
"Milvar," The Stormcloak announced, "It's an honor."
"And I'm Naughty Bear," The teddy replied, offering a paw which was shaken politely. "Pleasure."
"Now that we're all acquainted, I believe we have some matters to discuss," Luna said in her somewhat outdoor voice. "Have a seat, everypony."
Now that Fox, Naughty and Milvar were seated across the room from Celestia, Luna and Twilight, Celestia began her explanation of the rules of their stay in Equestria.
"As you can tell, I'm not exactly fit to send you all home," Celestia said solemnly. "And yet I'm the only pony in Equestria strong enough to do so. As such, it looks like you'll be staying here a week."
The group of aliens nodded slowly. They already knew this.
"Now, we don't mind granting you access to the many facilities around Canterlot." Celestia shifted awkwardly under her bedsheets.
"Yet our subjects may be alarmed to see such towering creatures prowling the streets," Luna finished. "No doubt some will be afraid of you. We cannot help that."
"However, we've rented each of you a room for a week and some bits to use as spending money."
"You'd go that far for little ol' me?" Naughty asked.
"Of course!" Celestia smiled happily. "We love having guests. Even if they are a bit... otherworldly."
The trio of visitors turned to eachother, nodding contentedly.
"Your highness, I think this is going to be a wonderful stay," Fox smiled. "I hope to see you and your sister soon."
The rest of the group said their goodbyes and left the room. Luna stayed with her sister while Twilight followed the entourage of aliens. Even if they were friendly, somepony would run away screaming.
Why do they run away screaming?
Horatio stood in a dark alleyway, sadly watching hundreds of ponies trotting by, minding their own business.
I only want to be friends.
Horatio was shrouded in darkness. Despite his stark-white space suit, he was a ghost in this alleyway. He'd arrived on an alien world, and the first alien he'd met had run away screaming when Horatio tried to give it a hug. All the aliens he'd met later on also ran away in fear, screaming for help.
So he was stranded on an alien world with English-speaking rainbow horses with no food, water or air to sustain him. And on top of all this, his voice receptor was damaged when he splashed down in the fountain. Now whenever he tried to speak, random words spewed out instead of regular English. That sure didn't help him when he tried to reason with the armed guards that galloped up to him when he tried to walk through anywhere. So now, he was skulking through the shadows like some stalker.
Now, Horatio was well-educated. He had to be in order to be blasted into space and land on the moon. He'd studied what to do if he ever ran out of food, oxygen or the like. The manuals and schools never taught him anything about meeting aliens on a foreign world.
Horatio sighed and huddled in his alleyway, thinking of what to do next.
Twilight and her entourage sat happily at a table at Pony Joe's Donut shop. Or was it Donut Joe? Nopony knew. Oh well. Once again, Milvar was showing no mercy to the donuts that arrived on his plate occasionally. How much could this guy eat?
Naughty and Fox sat on either side of Milvar, silently snacking on their lunches. Fox was eating a Manehattan-style cheesecake while Naughty was finishing up his second chocolate fudge sundae. Twilight ate her daisy sandwich as she watched Milvar tear every donut in sight into a pile of crumbs and sprinkles. Even those didn't stand a chance as Milvar tilted the plate skyward, spilling the sprinkles into his mouth.
"Alright," Milvar said, patting his stomach. "I think I've had enough."
The group shared a quick laugh at this.
The ponies of Canterlot had become somewhat accustomed to the aliens walking the streets. Some even worked up the courage to talk to Fox, whose sharp teeth still warded many away. Other found it much easier to talk to Milvar when they saw how gentle he was around other ponies. And everyone wanted to talk to Naughty. After all, who wouldn't want to talk to a giant walking teddy bear?
"So there I was," Naughty said, standing atop his chair. "Surrounded by evil zombears! I thought I was a goner, but thankfully, I had Mr. Sharpie on me. Zoom, pow!" Naughty imitated slashing motions with his paw. Foals and younger ponies looked on in astonishment.
"Buh mistew Notty," A young foal mumbled, "Whewe did da zombie come fwom?"
"That's just it, little fella," Naughty said, leaning down. He was loving this. "I didn't know! I woke up, saw them surrounding my house, and grabbed my sword and sent them back to wherever it was they came from!"
Fox, Milvar and Twilight looked on in amusement as Naughty kept telling more heroic stories about him fighting off evil hordes of zombies and aliens. Pony (Donut?) Joe appeared behind Twilight, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Heya, kid!" Joe smiled. "I just wanna thank ya for bringing your pals here; I'm getting lotsa business thanks to you!"
"Erm, no problem." Twilight turned back to her sandwich and finished it with a gulp.
Now it was Fox's turn to tell stories.
By the end of the day, the unlikely trio, tailed by several curious ponies, made their way back to the castle and to their respective rooms. Naughty slowly laid down on his bed. Fox practically flew into his. Milvar almost made the floor cave in when his 250-pound body crashed onto his bed. Even Twilight felt it, and she was 3 rooms away from him. They all fell asleep within minutes.
And somewhere in the distance, a tall, white monster was skulking up to the Canterlot Castle gates.