My Mind Isn't Like Your's

Seven guards, Captain of the day guard Shining Armor included, were making a path through the grass of the gardens. After the report he got from the night guard captain, he was going to detain Chaotic Heart. He had threatened another guard even though he had been acting so well. It didn’t make sense to him why he would do that, and all over a little flower.

The rest of the guards with him included the night guard Captain Midnight. The rest were her subordinates, two of which he believed were in heat because of the attitude they were showing. He wouldn’t ever make that comment out loud, but it sure seemed they had a problem.

The garden was rather quiet, but they knew that Chaotic was still around; after all, he never left the garden if he could help it. And their knowledge proved right when they saw him sitting down, out of his armor staring up at the sky. Now by no means was Chaotic attractive to anypony, but that didn’t detract from his look of being better at certain things.

His body was a dark ashen gray-blue in color. His mane and tail were several shades of muted blue and red. The thing that made him look terrifying though, was all the discolored streaks of white that cris-crossed his pelt. His cutie mark was a Will-o-Wisp with two scythes at it sides, one with the blade above and one below the Wisp. His eyes were gold like most bat ponies, but specks of blue and red were in them. His body was that of an athlete, kept in shape by the exercise he always seemed to do when he was off duty.

Overall, he was terrifying, even more so in his picture when he was wearing his armor. Of course, he was no longer in possession of that armor, and thus could not terrify anypony else. That still didn’t matter though as he proved he didn’t need armor in a dungeon brawl that broke out two weeks after his capture. Three prisoners were hospitalized because of him.

Still though, his calmness betrayed his actual abilities, which had yet to completely be revealed to anypony. It didn’t really help that his former occupation was unknown. His senses proved to be honed as well, because his head instantly angled towards the group before they were within speaking range. That somewhat worried Shining Armor, why he didn’t know, but regardless, it unnerved him a great deal.

However, Chaotic knew exactly why it unnerved Shining; ever since birth, Chaotic had the unique ability to make ponies fear him by simple presence. A good talent, when in real fights anyways, other than that it was a pain when holding a civil conversation. Still, it didn’t bother Chaotic that Shining was on edge; in fact, it gave him a strange happiness to know one of his captors feared him.

Still, the group of guards advanced on the silent pony, his eyes glowing slightly in the moonlight. And when within conversational range, Shining said, “I just got a report Mr. Heart that you made a threat against not only the guards, but the Princesses as well. Is this report true or false?”

“True Armor, however did you know I had a reason for the threat in question?” Chaotic asked. His face was the most deterring thing in the castle right at that moment; it betrayed absolutely nothing but a mechanical determination.

Shining nearly stuttered when he spoke, “If there is a reason, why don’t you share it with me then.” His command made Chaotic smirk in spite of the situation. What none of the guards expected, was when Chaotic stood up, and made an advance toward Shining. The night guards stood in defensive stances, but Chaotic didn’t attack, but the way he walked showed his readiness to make a move if required. He continued his subdued movements toward Shining until they stood face to face.

“A mare needs them for very specific reasons. I however am not at liberty to discuss those things. You may ask the guard that gave you the report to take you to the mare in question. While you do that though, I will go find the location, and be waiting for the offence. Ta-ta Shiny, until we see each other again,” as he finished his small rant, he walked calmly by Shining and the other six. The night guards were glaring daggers at Chaotic.

But Shining did what the frightening stallion told him, and motioned to be taken to the mare. Though Shining still couldn’t shake something about Chaotic’s influence on him; more or less the fact that the other guards were even more scared than he was, but still maintained their attitudes of hatred. It was sobering how badly Shining got scared by simply being near Chaotic, as nopony should be able to do that. Regardless though, Shining followed the bat-mare to the location of the accused mare.

All the while that was happening, Chaotic was keeping his word, and he was following the tracks once again into the maze. The filly had taken her spot at his side again, this time humming a tune that was unrecognizable. The sounds coming from her having a light echo to it that was nearly imperceptible to a normal pony, though Chaotic did not mind it, he wondered with little thought exactly where the filly came from in his head. He didn’t know any filly that was living or dead, he didn’t have an obsession with fillies, and he certainly didn’t think it was an actual part of his psyche.

That didn’t bother him at all though; he was still able to focus on the task at hoof. Just the same as any other assassin would, he went through possible scenarios in his head. Each one having different outcomes that all had his death at the end of, each one had differing results though, and those results were the number of guards and such killed, Chaotic honestly didn’t want to make the guards look weak, but they wouldn’t get off the hook easily. Chaotic would never in his life allow himself to give in without a fight.

Thoughts such as those and more further steeled his resolve to fight until he dropped dead. The little filly at his side gazed at Chaotic with a curious expression, still humming her calming tune. She knew everything he thought, so instead of speaking out loud like a lunatic, he simply thought, what?

After he thought that he heard the fillies somewhat innocent voice in his head, What will happen to us after you leave? We live in your head, but is it possible for us to live after you leave?

Chaotic only thought for a few seconds before replying, Well I don’t really know what will happen to you and the others. Who knows, maybe you’ll go to somepony else’s head and get a new friend.

A sad expression fell on the filly’s shadowed face. Then her reply came, I don’t want to leave you though, after all, you promised you would stay with me forever and ever to play. Why shouldn’t I come with you when you leave?

Because when I leave, I won’t be coming back, I’ll be sleeping forever after I leave.

B-but i-if you sleep f-f-forever then we can’t p-p-play. I don’t want to be alone; I don’t want you to leave me here. Every word the filly spoke gave Chaotic a stronger drive to fight; to live. At that moment, Chaotic realize, what the filly stood for. It was a moment that showed just how dull he could be, or possibly his own mind testing him. Never the less though, he understood exactly what part of him she stemmed from. He also finally noted that she believed she was real, and instead lived in his head rather than is just a part of his insanity.

It was strange, as most of his delusions knew they were just that. But no, the filly believed that she was real, and Chaotic really didn’t want to try and go into those things because that would most likely drive him deeper into his hole of nuttiness. What he did not expect was the rather crushing hug he received from the filly. He was still walking though, meaning she had hopped onto Chaotic’s back and was nearly choking him.

Chaotic’s mind did a double take on that, but after a second pushed it off as his dementia acting up; which it most likely was. Still though, if it came down to it, he was going to die in a few minutes. It was confusing to say the least, but at that point, he wasn’t going to bother with understanding how his mind worked; the confusing part being that Chaotic was starting to hear voices whispering in his head. They spoke all sorts of things, anywhere from nonsense to facts, war to peace, and two voices standing out spoke of loyalty to a cause and leaving said cause to its own.

It was giving Chaotic a massive head ache because all of the voices kept going and tried to speak over one another. Echoing louder and louder until the filly, that had released her grip, shouted, “SHUT UP!” inside of his head, overall it stopped the voices, but a few kept whispering in his mind. After that mind bender, Chaotic shook his head to disperse the pain in his brain.

Chaotic continued on though, as if nothing had happened in the first place. And for the most part that was true, Chaotic realized as he finally found the flowers that he was looking for. As he took his place in front of them he thought, everything I hear isn’t real. Nothing at all in my head is a fact, if anything; my mind fabricates everything I hear. I could be dreaming and I wouldn’t even know it.

The filly, sensing that thought, hugged his neck once more before dissipating. His brain kept working against him at that point, and Chaotic knew it. Ever so slowly he could feel himself sinking deeper into insanity, as every thought that passed through his head got critiqued by voices with no bodies. Shadows seemed to be an ever present thing in his vision, unnatural shadows that is, because it was still night time after all.

Everything moved with a demonic grace in his vision, each one trying to snatch him from his place and do something horrible. Every sound resounded within his head, making them seem as though they had a presence of their own. Every scent was tinted with something dark and evil, even the sweet scent of the flowers was overpowered by a sickening rotting smell. The grass beneath his hooves didn’t exist in his head; instead he was standing on a vast plain of water, everything with no definite feel.

All until he heard hooves pounding towards him; at that moment, he was brought back to reality, and noticed that his body had began to sag slightly. Chaotic shook his head violently to clear the voices, not wanting the distraction should they come for a fight. The fight never arrived though, as only two night guards, Shining Armor, and the green mare he had spoken to earlier.

Shining was the first to speak, “If you had started with what she needed them for, I would have shut up about it you know. Instead you had me waste my time tracking down this mare, and having to come all the way into this maze. Exactly what do you have to say after all that?”

All Chaotic did though was look at him and say, “So she’s not in trouble then?” Shining waited for something more but was met with silence from the stallion. When nothing came Shining sighed and shook his head no. when Shining looked back at Chaotic, the bat-stallion had a ghost of a smile on his face before he walked away.

“But because you threatened several ponies in this process, you are going back to the dungeons. Guards, escort Mr. Heart to his cell.” Those were the words Shining parted with, and the servant mare made several attempts to get him to reconsider as she was taken back to her room, but Shining didn’t budge.

Chaotic just shrugged though and followed the mares deep underneath Canterlot to his cell. It didn’t bother him that he was stuck in the dungeons once again, but it did bother him that he was stuck alone once again. After his experience in the garden, it was a little worrying to be alone after that. Still, nothing could change it, and all the while, Chaotic had that ghost smile on his lips.

When the cell door closed, Chaotic moved over to the hay bed provided to all prisoners, and laid down. When he was comfortable, he settled and just stared at the wall. And just like when he first arrived in the dungeons, the filly appeared and curled up at his side. She was still humming her tune, and as a result, Chaotic relaxed almost to the point of sleep. He never crossed that line though, and instead sat there in silence.

That’s how time passed, he only ever moved from his place to eat and drink when provided, or when he had to do his business. Every once in a while he would speak to the filly, as well as the other shadow ponies that came into the cell. Guards were always there when he spoke to them though, maybe believing that he was planning something, but either way, Chaotic never budged when he didn’t have to. Even when a guard tried to speak with him, Chaotic remained silent to everything but the shadows.

The filly never left either; she stayed at his side, never once disappearing. Always speaking instead of thinking now that it no longer mattered, Shining even listened sometimes to the conversations that Chaotic and the filly had. The topics were not of very much interest to Shining but that was because he didn’t understand what they were speaking of.

The topics the filly most often brought up were of contracts that Chaotic had done and of the contracts that he refused. In all the times guards listened though, they never got the message though, no matter how thinly veiled about killing the stallion and his mind spoke. It all amounted to the same thing though as either way he lived, having his message conveyed or not.

They claimed he was mentally unstable as well as insane within a month of his second imprisonment, and then, he met who he could see through.