House of Parker

Featured Characters – Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Trixie, Spitfire, Zecora, Princess Luna, Derpy, Felicia Hardy, and Peter Parker.

Rating – T

Chapter One "The Parker Herd"

    Peter's brow twitched involuntarily. Against his will, he was dragged out to do some shopping, but the assorted chaos around him had begun to pick at his nerves, an admirable feat considering Spider-Mane's gimmick was to annoy the bad guys as much as possible. He stole a glance at the eleven mares surrounding him, each partaking in a different activity, and sighed inwardly. Much to his dismay, this was hardly anything new, but it wasn't often that all eleven of his mares wanted to go shopping at the same time.

    It was surreal. Back on Earth, Peter Parker was a guy who could barely hang on to one girl. So how was it that he managed to date in Equestria? Not once, not twice, but eleven times! If anything, since his arrival, it was clear Equestria was similar to Earth, but the way relationships worked was perhaps the one true difference between both worlds. Namely, stallions were unusually rare in the world, and mares outnumbered them ten to one. While it wasn't everypony's belief, herd ideology had become almost a requirement for Equestrians.    However, Peter Parker, prince, knight, and hero of Equestria, managed to set a record. He had formed the largest herd in history with eleven mares, the second being eight several eons ago. Despite Spider-Mane’s known relationship with Princess Twilight Sparkle, he was still known as the world’s most desirable bachelor, at least thats what countless mares hoped for. When news came that the couple was considering the possibility of starting a herd, mares everywhere flocked to the stallion, but the members were already chosen from their circle of friends.    To make matters more interesting, nearly half of the members of the Parker herd were celebrities in their own right: a majority of the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, a Wonderbolt, and two princesses. That wasn't saying the girls felt obligated to be with him. By all means, that was far from the case. They all loved him unconditionally, going out of their respective ways to show it daily. In return, Peter was affectionate, giving each mare as much attention as he physically and emotionally could. Needless to say, it is a very trying experience, even for a superhero, but the stallion didn’t mind, basking in the attention given to him.    Peter scratched the back of his head. He knew it was a way of life here, but a small part of himself couldn't help but feel like a player. After all, he slept with and dated several girls at once, but they were all aware and content with sharing the same stallion, their minds staying the course even when some of their personalities clash. So he got to kiss eleven beautiful girls per day. Peter blushed. He got to do far more than that, and openly, even. It was perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with it at all. Peter shrugged. He was thinking too deeply about nothing in particular again.    It had become a habit of his for days such as this. It was a dream come true, yet it was a nightmare. After all, he was just one male, and females were very strenuous when the mood suited them. With so much happening at once, Peter had to find a way to repress his stress. A halfhearted smile formed on the stallion's face. As much as he complained, Peter loved the girls just as much back, if not more than they imagined. It was just a matter of tending to their individual needs, and his marefriends couldn't have been more diverse in terms of personality if he tried.    Luckily, his mares loved to tend to his needs as well, especially the one nudged into his side. She was the mare who started it all, the violet beauty who stole his heart first. Princess Twilight Sparkle. the Alicorn Archmage, the librarian who summoned Spider-Man to Equestria and inadvertently tied her magical essence with his. They were spiritually bound to each other, but that didn’t take away from the love they forged. Twilight knew about Peter’s darkest secrets and accepted him without a hint of hesitation. It was because of her devotion, love, and care that Peter was able to move on from Gwen and put his past behind him.    She was identical to Peter, yet there were clear differences between the two, particularly her need to organize everything while the stallion simply improvised as he went. Twilight held out a clipboard, alternating her violet gaze between it and everypony scattered about in the market. Peter watched her with a small smile. Originally, he had no intention of starting a herd, nor did Twilight. As far as they knew, they were only meant for each other, but with some convincing from the others, the stallion and mare managed to give things a try. So far, it had been pleasant. Chaotic at times, but pleasant.    Peter glanced to the side, spotting a pegasus slowly approaching. He admired the silky, pink mane on her head, and ran his hoof over her own, causing the mare to greet the stallion with her sky blue gaze. The pair allowed their lips to sync, savoring each others' taste for as long as possible before eventually breaking for need of oxygen. Peter smiled. Whenever he had a bad day, Fluttershy was always there to cheer him up. It was easy to say out of his mares, Fluttershy was the most compassionate, never failing to show her support and devotion for her coltfriend. In layman's terms, Fluttershy was one of the most trusted members of the herd. She caused the least amount of trouble and got along fairly well with everypony.    Peter nodded, directing his gaze to the zebra near his position before sharing a smile with her. She was tall and soft-spoken, rarely engaging in activities that caused disturbances. This was Zecora. It was strange. The mare preferred her personal space usually, but she was willing to move into a home with nearly a dozen individuals. It was Zecora who knew of the Web of Life, and everypony’s inclusion within it.    One could argue that Zecora was partially responsible for starting the herd, and Peter wouldn’t argue with the fact. He loved the zebra for a number of reasons. She was serene, quiet, and wise, always lending an ear when anypony needed it. Zecora was the glue that helped everything stick together. Peter trotted over to the mare, pausing to kiss her over the cheek. Her blue eyes widened, but her lips curled into a smile once her surprise dissipated. Zecora was the most level-headed member of the herd. Without her, things wouldn’t work.    Applejack trotted over to the area, nudging Peter in the side. The stallion grinned. Here was another level-headed mare, at least to a degree. Applejack had her tendencies to be prideful and stubborn, but those traits couldn’t take away from the fact that the farmpony had one of the biggest hearts in Equestria.    Peter’s brow lowered. Her golden mane and emerald irises were much like those Gwen had, but the snow-white freckles and southern upbringing were welcomed differences, aside from something else. Applejack was one of the first to learn about Peter’s failures, and like Twilight, she was supportive, perhaps to a fault. Peter reached out, lifting the blonde’s hat before planting a kiss at the center of her forehead. Applejack was the most honest mare in the herd, but that went without saying.    Peter couldn't stop his eyes from shifting to the mares scattered throughout the market, but they quickly grew blank upon spotting three of his marefriends gathered in front of a vegetable stand, engaged in an argument no less.'Not again,' he thought to himself, gently breaking away from Fluttershy. Peter slowly approached the scene, not wanting to be pulled into the middle of the confrontation, but his steps increased in speed when the volume of his mares' voices grew.    Peter sighed. He knew it was normal for these specific two to argue, about as normal as Celestia’s sunrise, but it really unnerved the stallion when the third, supposed 'peacekeeper's' voice boomed over the others. There was a fourth voice, sounding exasperated. If both were getting involved, it meant this argument had to have been going on for quite some time. Desperate to avoid making a scene, Peter stepped besides the dark blue 'peacekeeper', pausing to glance down and acknowledge their notable height difference. It was too long ago that their roles were reversed, with her height being considerably greater than his, but circumstances led them here. Her sky blue mane flowed gracefully with the wind, falling over her slender shoulders.    The entire world knew her as the co-ruler of Equestria, but Peter was lucky enough to know her as Luna, his little sparkplug. Out of all the mares in his household, Luna was easily the most assertive, making her presence known whenever command was necessary. Yet, whenever it was just her and Peter, Luna was surprisingly gentle, telling her knight her insecurities during times of intimacy. Underneath the hardened exterior, she was a girl who only wanted to be accepted. It only took the kind heart of an outworlder to win her over.    Among the others, Luna promised to not start a power imbalance, not allowing her royal status to intervene with the fair partnership of her place in the herd. She even went as far as to perform a spell that shortened her height considerably, although Peter knew the truth behind the alicorn’s change in appearance. It certainly had the neighbors talking. Perhaps it was Luna's way of showing her trust and love for Peter. He was somepony that understood the struggle of repressing the darkness within his soul, and despite his immense power, Peter found a way to treat everypony around him as equals.    It explained why Princess Celestia accepted their relationship without a hint of hesitation, going so far as to even pay for their luxurious home in Whitetail Woods, but the same couldn't have been said for everypony else. All forms of gossip surrounded Luna, namely around her stallion and status in the herd. Peter may have been one of the world’s great heroes as Spider-Mane, but why was it that he was chosen? Not to mention, Luna lowered herself to match the status of those in her herd. Quite a bit of Equestria felt the princess made a poor choice in those regards, much to their co-ruler's annoyance.    As far as Luna was concerned, she was free to love whoever she pleased. Fortunately, the gossip in Equestria never truly bothered Peter, due to the fact it paled in comparison to the cruel things the Daily Bugle said about Spider-Man daily. It went without saying Luna loved Peter for his patience, too.    "Luna," Peter gently called out, bringing the princess's gaze down to meet his. They exchanged smiles for a moment, but their expressions soon turned sour, matching that of exasperation. Moaning, the stallion shifted his sights to the two mares' heated debate. "What are they arguing about now?"    The princess rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Nothing, beloved. Just the usual, pointless babble."    "No way! We had a salad yesterday!" Rainbow Dash said, tapping her hooves together. "Let's get a pizza!"    "You always eat the most fattening things. Now, I see why you're growing a gut," Trixie scoffed, her tone full of sarcasm. "Keep at it, and your new name will be Rainbow 'Fat'."    A wave of heat rushed into Rainbow's face. "What did you say?!"    Spitfire waved a hoof defensively. “Let’s be nice for a second, okay?”    "Are those excess calories clogging your ears, too?" The unicorn waved her hoof dismissively.    Gritting her teeth, the pegasus growled. "It's going to be hard for you to eat anything once your teeth are kicked down your throat!"    “Come on, you two. This is just getting ridiculous,” Spitfire moaned, rubbing her hoof over her forehead.    Before the argument could escalate any further, Luna slammed her hoof into the ground, causing thunder to roar throughout the sky. Both Trixie and Rainbow Dash turned their heads at the sound, cringing once their gazes met Luna's venomous glare.    "Silence! I will tolerate your insolence no more!" Luna roared, unaware a great deal of the town evacuated at the sound of her outburst.Peter tapped at Luna's side softly. "Your Canterlot is showing, hun."    As Luna scolded both mares about their behavior, Peter turned his head in Rainbow Dash's direction. A tomboy at heart, none would have thought the pegasus was one to tie the knot since she practically repelled the opposite sex, but Rainbow did with one of the biggest dorks imaginable. Out of the herd, Dash was the most rebellious, rarely wanting to stay put even during times of peace. With her high-energy, Rainbow needed the perfect outlet, and Peter with his super-powered abilities proved to be a valid choice.    Despite being an egghead, Peter still liked to have fun. Rainbow Dash even found a new sparring partner, but it was quickly apparent that she stood no chance against Spider-Mane. Defeat was something Rainbow loathed, yet Peter never boasted in his victories. Even during the rare occasions when she found a way to win, Parker remained a good sport. After a few personal experiences, Rainbow learned that Peter followed a saying: with great power comes great responsibility.    Peter was a humble stallion, and Rainbow couldn't help but fall for somepony so corny. When the idea of Parker leading a herd came into mind, she joined without question. After all, it wasn't too often a girl found herself living with a real-life superhero, but, like Luna, Rainbow Dash had to deal with gossip from everypony, friends, Wonderbolts, and neighbors alike. They had only heard tales of Spider-Mane, the hero, but nopony knew a thing about Peter Pony Parker. Rumors spread, speculating, but only Dash knew the truth about Peter. He did more than anypony could have imagined. Yes, Peter was a dork, but he was her dork.    Slowly, as the argument came to a close, evident by Luna's diminishing tone, Peter stole a glance at his fourth wife, Trixie. Fortunately, she had long abandoned her excessive 'Great and Powerful' title and gracefully bore her own slightly-changed name, Trixie Lulamoon-Parker. Out of his eleven wives, Trixie was one of the most level-headed, though her blunt honesty and sarcastic demeanor often left an impression that she was arrogant and pompous. Hence the question many Ponyville citizens made: why did this mare, who held herself to such a high standard, choose a stallion, whose beginnings were rather humble in comparison.    In actuality, Trixie's persona was rather fragile, full of insecurities. The Great and Powerful Trixie was nothing more than a stage name, an act to portray what she strived to be. Sadly, that front had been held for so long that Trixie almost believed her own lies and allowed the false fame to alter her life. Even when the truth had been brought to light, Trixie refused to yield, blaming everypony for her destroyed reputation.    She had hit rock bottom, falling into the depths of bankruptcy and losing her home. Trixie, much to her shame, even had to resort to petty thievery just to survive. Yet, whether it was fate, karma, or luck, she accidentally stumbled into Peter during one of her daring escapes, even managing to learn his Spider-Mane secret in the midst of the fiasco. Afterward, Trixie forced her hoof and demanded Peter take care of her until her financial status improved dramatically. Unfortunately, that plan fell under upon realizing that Spider-Mane, the great dragon-slayer, was just as broke as her.    However, despite the circumstance, Peter still willingly agreed to take care of Trixie. Much to her surprise, he did just that without a hint of hesitation, going so far to even treat her as a friend. As time progressed, Trixie gave into his charms. Yes, he came off as a halfwit, but it could not take away from his good nature. Perhaps it was her guilt that led her to tell Peter the truth. Trixie was a girl destined for greatness, but neglect proved to be her greatest enemy.    Thankfully, Peter managed to give Trixie the attention she desperately sought. He became her first true friend, and after a bit of consideration, she joined the herd solely to stay by Peter's side. That wasn't saying Trixie didn't get along with the others. In fact, she found a family of sisters in her herd. Peter placed his hoof over his forehead. Sadly, because of their conflicting personalities, Trixie and Rainbow Dash often antagonized each other. Though they hid it well, Peter knew both mares were sweet, and he loved them both to death.    Spitfire smirked, playfully punching the stallion’s shoulder. Then, there was the captain of the Wonderbolts, the one who suggested forming the herd to Twilight and Peter in the first place. Spitfire was a laidback mare, at least when she was at home or surrounded by her friends. The pegasus had garnered quite a reputation within the Wonderbolt Academy, said to be stern, hard-layered, territorial, and very aggressive. Peter scratched the back of his ear, arching a brow. Spitfire was quite the opposite to him, being humorous, light-hearted, nonchalant, and flirty. Perhaps it was his luck working in his favor. After all, Spitfire was as professional as one could get, never letting her love life and personal affairs intertwine and collapse. However, as the gossip columns had asked since the Parker herd was formed, what exactly drew the Wonderbolts’ Captain to Prince Parker? Nopony knew the answer exactly. Well, Spitfire knew, having her own personal reasons, as did the other members of the Parker herd, but it was too much to think about at the moment for Peter. He responded to the mare with a wink, earning a kiss on the cheek from the pegasus.    "Oh, my. Are your wings growing pudgy, too? You'll be a flightless bird soon. I know what they'll call you. The dodo." Trixie added, laughing pompously into her hoof.    By the stars. Reality came crashing down, as it usually did. Out of instinct, Peter reached out and wrapped his hooves around Rainbow's waist, holding her back as the pegasus swatted feverishly at the unicorn. He exhaled. At the very least, they were sweet to him. Peter only wished Rainbow Dash and Trixie would give each other a fair chance.    Peter rolled his eyes, pulling the pegasus close until his mouth was inches from her ear. “Come on, Skittles. Chill. We can order a pizza when we get home.” He grinned. “With pineapple and apple toppings. That’s your favorite.”    Rainbow’s ears lowered. “Fine.” The pegasus relaxed in the stallion’s grasp, allowing him to gently place her down. She waved her hoof dismissively. “I would have torn her apart anyway.”    Derpy trotted from around the corner, tripping once she was a mere few hoof-lengths from Peter. The stallion’s eyes shot open, but his reflexes were as astute as usual, allowing him to release Rainbow and capture the blonde in his hooves before she could meet with the ground. Peter chuckled as he lifted the mare bridal style, her face flushing. She was easily the clumsiest member of the herd, her reputation as the ‘Mailmare of Destruction’ preceding her.    Peter shook his head as he gently placed the pegasus down. Derpy only wanted to help those around her, but the ponies could be surprisingly judgmental toward her. Peter loved the klutz, but he adored the mother even more. Dinky skipped to Derpy’s side, rubbing against her side affectionately. Peter lowered his head and shared a kiss with the pegasus before giving a gentle peck on the filly’s cheek. Derpy was the most motherly mare of the herd, having domestic skills and a heart made of gold and honey.    "Must you two act so immaturely? It's hardly ladylike." Everypony turned in the direction the eloquent voice came from, finding a snow-white unicorn and sky-blue earth pony approaching the scene.    “I have to admit. It is entertaining to watch,” the other mare stated, brushing her snow-white mane behind her ears.    Peter chuckled nervously. There was Ponyville's primary designer, full-time tailor of Spider-Mane, Rarity. Out of the household, Rarity certainly had the most class, finding a way to maintain a sense of professionalism in spite of the surrounding chaos. Peter always had a knack for being drawn to the mature types, but that was not saying the designer could remain steadfast for every occasion.    Rarity, the picture-perfect image of sophistication, had a knack for being over-dramatic, blowing the smallest things out of proportion, and this usually led to the silliest of disagreements, particularly with her disorganized mess of a coltfriend and certain members of the herd.    Yet, despite their differences, Rarity's love for Peter was divine, forged from the night he saved her life from a house fire. To pay back the debt she owed for his heroism, Rarity volunteered to redesign his costume and repair it whenever the time was needed, but that soon proved to be a chore as Peter found a way to destroy his costume far more often than he should have. Though it was annoying, she could not fault him for saving innocent lives. After the truth regarding his past was revealed, Rarity felt a new sense of affection for the stallion.    Surprisingly, he was a tortured soul, fighting to make amends for a mistake. Unlike the many privileged males she met, who dared not lend a helping hoof to others, Parker was vastly underprivileged but still helped everypony he possibly could. Unfortunately, it had led Peter through a self-destructive path, and his good will towards others often left him with nothing but scars and emptiness. As long as she was there with him, Rarity promised to give Peter the love he rightfully deserved, but that certainly didn't mean he had a right to be careless.    Lastly, there was Felicia Hardy, known as the Black Cat. After their adventures on Earth were concluded, she decided to accompany Peter to Equestria on the grounds that he could provide her with a fresh start. It was a brazen request, but Parker had connections, meaning it wasn’t impossible. On Earth, to say Twilight and Felicia didn’t get along would be an understatement, and even now, the two had trouble seeing eye-to-eye.    When news spread of Peter creating a herd, Felicia saw fit that she join, but her adjustments to Equestria had been rocky to say the least, from her ‘bond’ with Twilight to learning the mechanics of an equine body. However, the mare managed to form friendships with a select few members of the herd, particularly Rarity and Spitfire. The unicorn was a sophisticate like her, sharing a similar sense of style, and the pegasus was easy-going, following the philosophy that everypony deserves at least one second chance.    Peter gulped. He only hoped Felicia would improve with time. She still had some of her old habits, stealing when the opportunity rose, but despite the problems, Black Cat had a good heart, even if she was volatile about showing her vulnerabilities to the others. However, she managed, if only because Peter warned her that there would be consequences if she harmed any of the girls. The stallion sighed. Today was a day to think, it seemed.    Holding her head high, Rarity brushed her violet mane back with a flick of her hoof and offered the alicorn an apologetic smile. "Then again, this doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I only wish you two wouldn't aggravate Princess Luna so much. So, please, if I may inquire? The buffet would be an ideal choice today."    Trixie huffed, shrugging her shoulder nonchalantly, and Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, letting out a defeated sigh. Applejack chuckled while Derpy led Dinky by her hoof. Felicia shrugged, prompting Spitfire to follow after she placed her violet shades back over her eyes. Zecora smiled, and Fluttershy mirrored her actions. Peter turned to Luna, who only nodded a response. Twilight soon rejoined Peter, smiling as she watched him mouth several words of gratitude to Rarity. Another argument resolved, the Parker herd proceeded to their destination.    They made certain to keep their stallion on his hooves, but Peter admitted it was fun, namely because it beat the dangers he faced as his heroic counterpart. It wasn't as troubling as he made it, usually. His mares were incredibly caring, splitting the household chores among themselves and times of intimacy with Peter fairly. With Twilight handling the scheduling, this went smoothly most of the time. It was perhaps life handing him a fair trade for all the times his Parker luck caused him trouble. Though considering the amount of mishaps and events that happened during this time, Peter was tempted to believe God wanted to see his Parker luck amplified in spades.    Life with the Parker Herd was truly something special, and Peter wouldn't have changed it for the world.