Jerks with Jewels

Chapter 1: Lost and Found

The dampened chill of night soars passively over the inhabitants of the Everfree Forest. Trees twist and turn to the elemental dance of the grazing winds, releasing their captive leaves into the fluttering breeze. Lunar skies fall heavily on the thick, top layer of forest vegetation; casting a filtered, checkerboard style light across the lands below. Chunks of plant decay, disembodied seedlings, and mud tracks lay scarred on the frivoling land.

Two colts trained in con-expertise, Flim and Flam, are venturing notoriously through the depths of the forest. Are they searching for riches in this forest? Fame? Undiscovered new land? No, they just got lost. Sadly, these two have a knack for being in the wrong places at the wrong time, this is no exception. Even with the assistance of their Super Cider Squeezy 6000, they are just as dumbfounded without. Having been humiliated and scorned at the Apple family incident, the two traveled town to town, with nowhere left to go. Shunned and scorned, they were left only the most remote of areas for shady business practices and crumbs of profit.

“Well then, brother, if it was not for your poor skills at navigation, we would be back in Mainhattan by now!” Flim yelled non-empathetically at his rival sibling.

“My navigational skills? If your lame brain was leading the way, we probably would fall off a cliff or into a swamp bed.” Flam retorted wittingly.

“At least those locations would have more hospitality than a forest with cockatrice and timber wolves brother!”

“It was your lame map that pointed us in this direction anyhow!”

“You’re the one that drew it dipstick!”

“My maps always run without a hiccup, they’re alwa-“ before the senile pony could finish his witty retort, the Cider Squeezy jolted fiercely and then halted. Flam was tossed expertly across the driver seat while Flim clinched on just enough to keep him parked in place.

“You were saying?” Stated Flim in a sarcastic manner.

“Can it, Peppermint Larry…” With a quick flash of his horn, Flim transported instantaneously to Flam’s side while chuckling graciously. The Cider Squeezy doesn’t normally halt, its mechanical problems were repaired recently, something else was tampering with it. Without another word, Flam stared directly at the culprit, menacing in size and scale from where he lay. It was a large boulder, around half as tall as the vehicle they arrived in and far more dense. It had a rough, coarse texture with slight burn marks traced across its edges, obviously caused by a levitation spell. Both Flim and Flam stood partially uniform against this granite victim, which dented the Cider Squeezy’s front, only enough to fracture its phenotype.

However, what caught Flam’s curiosity was not simply the tampered stone texture, but the aura of light being shone through the base cracks of the rock. Something mystical lay underneath the boulder, something Flam unknowingly wanted.

“Brother, we must remove this boulder!” Flam expressing said, but not without a quick response from Flim.

“But brother, we don’t have the strength to lift an entire boulder; we just moved our vehicle many miles.”

“Then we’ll find a way, quickly, to the Cider Squeezy!” Without a single hesitation, the two brothers head to the cider squeezy and come up with a plan.

“Alright brother, I have an idea!” Flim boasted with an enlightened tone.

“Do tell!”

“Suppose we take the cider machine and use it to lift this boulder…”

“Brilliant my dear Watson! You cracked the case!”

“Now is not a time for pop culture my dear brother, now is the time for lifting this boulder!” Flim and Flam gingerly hop off the vehicle’s hood and activate the machine using their remaining strength. The land moves in a shallow vibration, rustling the grounded grasses and shrubs in blissful coordination. Shears of wind violently bash against the boulder, ascending it from the depths of its treading ground. With an instantaneous swing, the boulder is tossed a far distance from its resting point, ending up in an unknown location of the forest.

Flim and Flam trace their steps cautiously as they traverse down the sloped ground leading directly towards the source of light. Patches of lime green grasses on top of coconut brown soil scatter across the relatively flat land, consuming the center piece of water. A thick layer of steam muffles the crisp, cool night air from the surface world. Flowers, grasses, and shrubs lay bountiful and dance presumptuously to the appearance of unknown company. Both are enchanted by this slice of heaven, an untouched humid paradise!

“Now who in the right mind would cover up and ignore this bountiful place?” Flim confirmed and nodded his head in conjunction with his older brother.

“Whoever it was would probably have better eyesight if they were blindfolded.” Both laughed hysterically in sync with one another, leaving a lively premise to this otherwise desolate wonderland.

“Or, or maybe they found a nicer hole a couple of doors down” Both collapsed in hilarity, laughing their tails off.

“Maybe they accidentally dropped a rock on this hole, and couldn’t get in again” Flam regarded with a false security, but not a single laugh was uttered, even the crickets chirped harmonically to the tense silence.

“… What’s the Joke?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s the… Nevermind…”muttered Flim, quickly running off the topic.

“Well… I’m ready to take a swim now… umm… would you be so dear as to hold my stuff brother?” Flim said as the dropped ball still echoed awkwardly.

“Of course brother, what else are siblings for?” Flam stepped appropriately towards the younger brother with a single, tender hoof held front wise. As Flim loaded his hat and a bag which consists of all types of jewels, Flim prepared himself for a direct plunge. However, Flam slipped on the loose soil, dropping the last remaining gems and his brother’s hat into the pond. Flim froze in shock, quickly falling away from the pond and directly into his brother’s face.

“You Dunderhead! that was the last bag of jewels in our name!!!” Yelled Flim in immeasurable levels of frustration as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum continue their argument.

“Well if you didn’t lend your stuff so close to the pond, then maybe I wouldn't have dropped them IN!”

“Oh so it’s my responsibility now? You were the one holding them brother!”

“Well it was your responsibility for your stuff and my burden to carry them, it’s still you’re fault” with that line, Flam severed the argument with a smock arrogance and the face of his infuriated brother left over. Before Flim could counter, his anger was silenced when two identical bags and two identical hats containing them were rested on the pond’s shore.

“Brother… what does that look like to you?” Flim questioned

“Our bag? No wait… bags brother, but we only had one bag.” The two curiously walk towards the identical cloned materials, confirming their existence. They weren’t soggy, they were completely dry, as if their presence was never tampered by the pond.

“These are real! These are our bags!” Yelled Flam in absolute shock

“What are you waiting for? Open them!” At that moment, They both stood in shock, their jewels duplicated!

“Brother, our jewels, they’re identical!”

“Yes Brother, they are indeed, but why would someone challenge themselves to come into a cave undetected and give us free jewels?” As Flam finished his remark, an idea spawned into his head.

“Brother”

“Yes?”

“Could you be so gracious and hand me one of those jewels?” Flim handed a blood red stone and Flam tossed it into the water, in a matter of mere seconds, two hopped out of the pond with equal momentum as they were thrown in. they were exactly the same in size, color, shape, and quality.

“This pond… this pond is the answer to our problems!” Flim screeched as he skipped slightly in his hoofs.

“We could use this to pay off our debts!” Flam said as he stared at the gem in contempt.

“Or buy ourselves a new home!”

“Or purchase our long beloved sweet apple acres!”

“Or maybe…” Flim paused, collecting his thoughts as a stroke of brilliance overturned his attitude.

“Brother, I know how we can get everything we want and more…” Flim maniacally said, slowly rubbing his hooves coarsely together.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I think I am brother, and I believe it starts with this little town of Ponyville!”

“Brother, I do believe we’re back in the business!” The two laugh deeply as they toss in their remaining gems.