Only Chapter: "I need a pineapple and 50 guinea pigs!"
View Online
Only Chapter: "I need a pineapple and 50 guinea pigs!"
OH GLORIOUS DAY!
Written by Codename: One
It was a wonderful day in Ponyville! The sun was shining, the clouds were naught, and many happy ponies milled about the market on their business. Everypony was happy, and feeling like nothing in the world could or ever would go wrong.
It was the same for a being named Discord, who was happily floating along in the middle of the town. Recently reformed thanks to his friend Fluttershy the draconequus felt just as happy as the ponies who greeted him in the streets, knowing that he was a friend to them all. And vice versa.
“Oh how marvelous! I think I shall entertain myself for a spell to pass the time” Discord commented, floating on over to one of the markets and producing some bits, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Hello good sir! I am here to purchase some items from your wondrous establishment” Discord exclaimed, tilting his head upside down while turning his face upright, simply for fun.
The merchant looked completely unaffected and said “what’re ya buying?”, opening a flap on his trench-coat and producing a calculator.
The Merchant had come a long way in his dealings with the Stranger.
“I shall be buying one pineapple on this day!” Discord declared, handing over the bits via a tongue in his ear.
“HEHEHEH, thank you” the Merchant exclaimed, taking the bits and handing over the fruit to Discord.
“No, thank you!” Discord stated, floating on his way and storing the pineapple in his nose.
All along the way the Draconequus greeted and was greeted by ponies in the street, merrily bidding them a good day and receiving such welcomes in return before heading on his way.
Finally Discord reached his destination and rapped upon the door by curling his tongue into a full five-fingered fist. Waiting patiently Discord decided to floss his gums with some teeth before brushing them with a wet hair comb.
Finally the door creaked open a bit before actually opening all the way, Fluttershy standing in the doorway of her home.
“Oh hi, Dissy!” Fluttershy exclaimed, heat rising in her cheeks as a blush came at Discord’s pet name. The Draconequus too blushed.
“Hello, Fluttershy! May I please come inside?” Discord asked, stroking the mustache he had put himself for the few seconds the camera would be on him before it turned back to Fluttershy for her response.
“Oh, of course!” the usually shy pony declared, standing to the side to let Discord inside.
Once he was inside Dissy pulled the pineapple out of his elbow and set it aside, petting Angel with his face when the bunny hopped on over to him.
“So what brings you here? What’s the pineapple for?” Fluttershy asked, sitting on the couch across from the chair Discord had just constructed out of LEGO blocks that had popped out of his toes.
“Oh I am in such a good mood today, Fluttershy, so I thought about having a bit of fun. Normal fun, mind you(well, at least as normal as I can make it) but still fun!” Discord replied.
“Oh? Well, what did you have in mind?”
“Well, I was wondering: do you perhaps have 50 guinea pigs? I need to borrow them for some time” the Draconequus requested with the mouth he made on his belly.
“Sure, I guess. They won’t be hurt, right?” Fluttershy inquired, always nervous when her animals were taken away for any reason.
“Of course not, dear! I merely need them to entertain myself for a bit. I promise they will return unharmed and in a timely manner” Discord assured her.
“Well, OK” Fluttershy said, heading off into the back room for a moment and returning with approximately 50 guinea pigs.
“Oh thank you so much, Fluttershy!” Discord declared.
~~~~
“Come ONE, come ALL to Discord’s magnificent entertainment emporium! One day only, so enjoy while it lasts!” Discord trumpeted through the trumpet that had morphed out of his tongue.
A crowd of ponies had gathered, several of Fluttershy’s friends included.
“Satisfaction is guaranteed or your money back!” the Draconequus told them all.
“We didn’t pay any money!” a pony in the crowd yelled, earning a scoff from Dissy.
“No matter! I will return you money anyway should you fail to be disappointed! Now, for this trick, I shall be using this pineapple and 50 guinea pigs!” Discord said, producing said items by taking his head off and reaching in it like it was a magic hat.
“Now, I shall eat the pineapple whilst juggling ALL 50 guinea pigs!” Discord’s disattached head declared by talking with the lips on its ears. Then the Draconequus to did just that; his head ate the pineapple while he juggled the guinea pigs through the air, the animals harmlessly soaring up and down.
With the pineapple fully eaten Discord added his head to that of the things juggled, tossing them all around like they were ping pong balls.
“Now! I will need an assistant! However, I know just who to ask!” Discord proclaimed, snapping his fingered tail and producing Trixie as she took a bath.
“IIIII’M STIIILL IN A DREAM, SNAAAAKKE EAT-- AAHHHH!” Trixie screamed as she opened her eyes, seeing she was suddenly on a stage in Ponyville square.
“What is the meaning of this?! Trixie was in the middle of a relaxing bath when she suddenly appeared here! Why am-- OOH!” the mare yelled, becoming part of the things Discord was juggling, along with her bathtub and the water, which somehow was not only not spilling out as it should but actually just an orb in the air.
“HAAHAHAHAOOH! How glorious this is! Oh what wonderful fun!” Discord shouted, continued to juggle the bewildered Trixie, the bathtub, the water, the Discord head, and the guinea pigs, who had finally gotten used to the juggling and were now reading Automotive magazines.
“WHHYYYYYY?!” Trixie shrieked, unable to believe what was happening to her.
Finally Discord neared his satisfaction and began to wind the juggling down, whisking the guinea pigs into a hollowed out TV and planting Trixie in his hollow body.
“WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?!” Trixie yelled, finding herself as Discord’s head.
“FUN!” the true head of Discord screamed right in the face of the show pony, held up by the Draconequus’s hands.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” poor Trixie shrieked as Discord finally teleported her back into her home in her bathtub, along with the water, and put his head back on his neck.
“I hope you all had a marvelous time at Discord’s one-time-only entertainment emporium!” the creature exclaimed, reaching into the hollowed-out radio to retrieve the guinea pigs and finding that they weren’t there.
“Oh my, where could they have gone?” Dissy wondered aloud, reaching into his ears, his nose, his [TOO HOT FOR FANFICS LOL] and just about anywhere else he could reach and not finding them.
Suddenly a fresh bout of screaming was heard, and the whole crowd and Discord turned to see what it was, watching Trixie running out her house soaking wet and soap strategically covering her body, followed by 50 guinea pigs.
Discord flopped over on the stage and roared with laughter, kicking his legs as his sides left for low-earth orbit, yelling “WEEEE!” as they went.
~THE END!~
