Author's Note

Sorry for the delay. Shit happens.

Zombies Chronicles does allow me to refresh my knowledge, so there's that.

Nikolai Hates Monkeys

New Worldz, Complete Hell
By Awesomedude17

Richtofen whistled as he casually opened the door, leading Twilight, Pinkie, Nikolai, Luna and Applejack to another Lunar Lander.

"Alright, what can we- Oh shit, sickle!" Nikolai touched the chalk drawing of the sickle and it brought forth the farming instrument.

"Now all I need is hammer."

"Darn tootin'!" Applejack smirked.

"Boop! Lander's coming!" Pinkie shouted.

RAAAAAAAAAAGH!

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Nikolai stabbed the zombie with the sickle, killing it.

"And do not get up, suka!" Nikolai looked over to the lander. "Let us go. I would rather we finished quickly."

BRRRRRRRRRRRR

"Sounds. Doesn't sound good."

A space capsule landed next to them. A zombified monkey crawled out, a monkey that Nikolai promptly shot.

"Fuck you, monkey."

"Nikolai, I found a button. Let's push it." Richtofen pushed it.

"Error, simultaneous pressing required."

You'll need to find the four buttons to activate the second node. There should be a button by Speed Cola, PhD Flopper, Juggernog and Stamin-up. You can only do this when the cosmo monkeys are here.

"How does that make sense?" Twilight yelled.

"Nikolai shall go to Juggernog! Where is Juggernog?"

The group had an awkward silence.

"I sharr handle Stamin-up." Takeo said, hanging out by the button.

"It's the chewy prune drink for me then. Gotcha." Dempsey gave an affirmative nod to Rainbow and Celestia, before going off.

"Explain why we are doing this." Rarity said with weariness.

"This man requires our assistance. Perhaps if we do it, we sharr free him from his prison, and we can move on." Takeo stated as the zombie monkey's went over to the passed out Fluttershy. Takeo shot the monkey, knowing what this Element 115 would do to any creature.

Press the buttons, now.

The four did so.

Node two, activated.

The rocket needs to launch.

"Looks like we have one more thing to do."

Nikolai stomped on two more Zombie Monkey heads.

"HAHA!!! Let it be known, monkey, that Nikolai hates you, and your beady little eyes!"

Rocket ready to launch.

"Wha... When did that happen? Did Richtofen do it for me?"

"Don't know. Let's go find out how to launch the rocket." Luna said, rushing to the roof. Nikolai gave a shrug as Applejack followed Luna.

He soon found himself finding Takeo getting a Ray Gun from the box, and the other having rearmed themselves with a new weapon. Nikolai cursed that stripper, whoever she was silently.

"Okay. Push zis button, und the rocket flies." Richtofen said.

"Really? Push it, Doctor! Nikolai wants to see this!"

"Well, okay zen." Richtofen pushed the button. A countdown began as the rocket began to launch.

Smoke filled the area below as the piece of Soviet engineering achieved launch.

"Ah, nothing could ruin this day!"

"Is that so?" Takeo said.

"Da. Unless rocket blow up."

"Good." Takeo fired a shot at the rocket, causing it to explode.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! TAKEO, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Takeo rolled his eyes, before noticing the glares he was receiving from the others.

"Tak, not cool man." Dempsey said as he folded his arms.

"I may not like Nikolai, but that was just plain mean, meany-pants!" Pinkie added.

"Takeo, darling, there are lines we do not cross." Rarity scolded Takeo.

Takeo took a deep inhale, before sighing.

"Ugh. Fine. I am sorry, Nikorai."

"...I will accept apology if you find me vodka."

"When we find it, sure." Takeo felt the bitterness of the words.

"Let's go find out what's below the rocket." Celestia said as the group walked downstairs. After a brief trip, they found the Pack-A-Punch Machine.

"Well, looks like we got 'em." Dempsey smiled as the four humans went to the machine. The mares sat in the center of the area that rocket just launched from.

"Well, this is certainly unique." Twilight remarked.

"Rockets to space. What will humans think of next." Luna added.

"I dunno." Rainbow shrugged. "But I guess they're going to try and top this eventually."

"Yeah. Who knows. Maybe they will." Twilight nodded.

KABOOM!

"Did somepony pick up one of those bombs?"
"Did someone pick up nuke?"

Pinkie and Nikolai looked at each other, wondering the same thing.

Node 3, activated.

Yes, YES! Almost there! Hurry! She's coming! LUNA!!!

"Huh? Why are you speaking to me?" Luna asked.

"Ugh, we've got shit to do, and now something cryptic? Goddamn you, Gersch." Dempsey muttered.

"Oh well, let's figure out what needs to be done." Nikolai said. "What is with glowing things in sky?"

Luna looked up. "Perhaps some pick-ups. I'm going to risk it." Luna took flight.

"Sister! Do you wish to get infected?"

"I'll try not to die, Celestia." Luna flew up, and found that they were letters. Feeling slightly ill from the residual 115 in the air, she flew as fast as she could.

She soon found an L, and put together the pieces.

Node 4, activated.

"My God, she actually did it." Dempsey noted.

"Ha! Night skies rule!" Nikolai shouted.

Luna soon landed near the others. Though shaky, she was fine.

"Luna, zat vas stupid, und dangerous, but I admire your guts. Now, let's figure out vhat zis Gersch needs now." Richtofen said, ready to move on to the pod.

After the group reached it, they noticed an orb near the ground.

"Celestia, Luna, Twilight und Rarity, perhaps your magic could be of use here."

"Well, I suppose we can try." Celestia said. The four took a deep breath, and imbued the orb with as much magic as they could. The energies swirled around, and the orb glowed brighter.

Eventually, the magic orb burst in a flash, and flew into the air.

FREEDOM!!! I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!! Come to think of it... eight of you are... ponies?

"It's a long story." Applejack noted.

...Err, my thanks anyway. Farewell.

"Well, that happened. What now?"

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

The yell that came from Samantha caused the others to cover their ears. The residual energies that stayed with them began to swirl around them.

"EDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!"

"SHUT UP, SAMANTHA!!! SHUT! UP!"

The energies mixed with the magic, and the twelve were gone.

"AGH! Damn it! Where are we?" Dempsey shouted.

"I do not feel so good." Takeo threw up.

"Oh... horseapples. It's dark here." Applejack muttered.

"So dark." Fluttershy muttered.

"Ugh, great. Thanks Gersch. Fucking ghosts." Dempsey muttered.

"OH NO!!!"

"What is it, Nikolai?" Luna said with concern.

"I'm completely out of vodka!"

Everyone was silent.

"Just... shut... up... Nikolai." Rarity muttered.

"Fuck you, Rarity, vodka's good."

Takeo threw up again.

"Let me guess, the Quick Revive doesn't sit well after teleportation." Rainbow Dash asked.

"My insides feer rike it was poisoned... by fugu!"

"Great. Stuck in a dark, damp, cold closet. I feel like a swamp hag, now." Twilight muttered.

"It could be worse." Pinkie shrugged.

"How?"

"Zombies eating us."

"...Good point."