Heart of Scales

Turn 15: Badly

**Heart of Scales

Turn 15: Badly**

Spike waited for what felt like to him, a half hour. He tried his best to hear, but their voices were buried in the sound of the wind and the rustling of the leaves which seemed to grow louder just for that crucial moment. He shut his eyes to try and pick out their conversation from the air. However, nothing was to be heard. He wondered about what they could be talking about. Was Sweetie Belle going to tell her that he was here?

Soon, there was a noise other than the leaves that Spike recognized. He heard Rarity’s hoofsteps grow closer as he slid around the tree to avoid being seen. Did Sweetie Belle tell her where he was hiding? Was she coming to catch him hiding behind the tree?

Just as steadily as the sound of the hoofsteps grew, so did it fade. She was gone, but Spike didn’t want to check just yet. He wanted to stay close to the tree for just a while longer, until he was sure that Rarity was far away. A moment later, Spike could hear another set of hooves approaching the tree, smaller ones that could only belong to Sweetie Belle. He realized that for a moment, he had been preparing to show himself to Rarity. Not because he thought that he was going to be caught anyway. He had been preparing to do it voluntarily.

“She’s gone,” Sweetie Belle said looking at him from around the trunk.

“You didn’t say anything about me?” Spike asked.

“No I didn’t,” Sweetie Belle replied. “I really wanted to though, but I won’t do it if you don’t want me to.”

Without another word, Sweetie Belle went ahead to the Carousel Boutique, leaving him there. After taking a moment to consider her reply, he instinctively followed her to the front door, which she had left open for him to enter. Spike couldn’t go any further than the welcome mat, however. Sweetie Belle had been looking towards the doorway waiting for him to catch up. When he finally appeared and was unable to actually cross over from the outside onto Rarity’s floor, she wondered why that was so.

“You don’t hate Rarity, but you don’t want to meet her,” Sweetie Belle said to herself. “I don’t understand why you didn’t want to. Is it too hard to even say hello or have a short chat? Why can’t you two remind each other that other exists?”

The reason for avoiding Rarity was actually quite simple. Spike wanted to avoid at all costs the scenario where Sweetie Belle blatantly commands the both of them to get together, that relationship shattering, pinnacle of unspeakable uncomfortableness, Applebloom scenario. However, Sweetie Belle had exceeded Spike’s expectations when it came to discreetness. He didn’t want to tell her the truth and tell her that he couldn’t meet Rarity while she was around because he couldn’t trust her.

It wouldn’t be fair to Sweetie Belle if he didn’t give her something to keep her mind at ease. Answer her question of why he didn’t want to meet Rarity. Yes, it was his obligation to give her a good answer. Especially after she kept his wishes and did what he had asked her to do.

“You know what my job was today, going around and checking preparations for the festival. Somewhere down the list I was bound to meet Rarity tonight, and we did.”

“Of course!” Sweetie Belle jumped with a bright grin. Excited at the fact that she had already gotten what she had wanted all along. “What did you two do with each other?”

“She seemed to be having a hard time with the last of her work, so she let me help her out.” Spike made sure the make it clear that Rarity was the one who let him help. “After we finished, we sat down and had a chat, a good one in a while for her from the looks of it. You can say we almost lost track of time. We would’ve spent the entire night if we had the town hall to ourselves.”

All this sounded somewhat exaggerated to Spike, even though it was true. It could be because it was Sweetie Belle at the opposite end of the conversation. Sure It was great making her feel better by telling her this, and he really did want her to feel that way for her conduct today, but Spike really hoped that she wouldn’t misinterpret his words and understood it as if he had forced Tom onto a better half of a gold ring, pulled it out of his saddle bag , got on one knee, and proposed to her at the end of their night long conversation as the first light of the sunrise bathed the both of them. That would be a twist, a horrific twist if Rarity was told of it.

“What did you two talk about?” Sweetie Belle asked, approaching him at the door way.

“This and that,” Spike said but decided that it was too vague to be an acceptable answer. “We talked about each other, not much more than that.”

“Then there wasn’t a problem then.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “But I don’t see any reason for you to avoid her just now. I would have told her a million great things about you, you know. Really give you a boost on her affection points.”

“When we were just about finished talking, there was something she asked me to do.” Spike once more planned his words carefully. “And I didn’t feel that it would be right to meet her until I did those things first.”

“What things?” Sweetie Belle asked eagerly. “Is there any way I can help?”

“I can’t tell you. It would be too long and difficult to understand. Just be a good little sister, and don’t cause any problems. Tell me a few things about Rarity occasionally.”

“Are you planning to get her a gift?” Sweetie Belle sounded as if she had information Spike would kill to hear. “I know a ‘few’ things about Rarity.”

“I have a feeling that there’s going to be a time when I’ll be needing to hear them.” Spike nodded. “For now, you’ll just need to answer my questions when I have them.”

Sweetie Belle nodded as Spike wondered, what could Sweetie Belle possibly tell Spike that he didn’t already know about Rarity?

The two of them stood there for a few seconds, saying nothing to each other. Spike was just outside the doorway and Sweetie Belle was standing inside the Carousel Boutique, right before him. The two of them stared at each other. Ambitious insects entered Rarity’s “luxurious” home as Spike took too long to realize that Sweetie Belle expected him to step inside.

“Well?!” Sweetie Belle said with an impatient look. “Come on in?”

Spike lifted his front hoof from the ground and passed it over the door step, just hovering over the surface of Rarity’s floor, not pressing down against the ground underneath. It was funny, he never imagined even being here again. Not just viewing the inside from a distance but going as far as entering it. He once promised himself that he was never going to step into that place again. Now that promise had faded, if not already broken by the choices he had already made.

Rarity’s home, he had been as much of an assistant in this place as he had felt being an assistant to Twilight, perhaps even more so, in a way. It had been a place where he had lived out some of his most peaceful moments. The place he had secretly wished to go, from the moment he set foot into Canterlot to the very moment he fell off that tower.

No.

Spike still wished to go, inside. That was the whole meaning of the word “secretly”. Even he wasn’t aware of it now. Now he was here, just a step away. Would it be any different as Ruby than it had been as a dragon? It was like a step he would never be able to take back if he took it.

No, once again. Maybe this wasn’t that step. Maybe he had already taken it. Maybe that was why it felt as if this step now was far from the only thing he was unable to take back. Maybe that was why it felt pointless to question it any further. Maybe there was a reason to it all, even though he was constantly being forced to take the next step.

“Excuse me,” Spike said in a small voice finally passing through the doorway. While it didn’t feel like much at first, a wave of tingling excitement filled him gradually. He took a deep breath looking around. Although the air tasted different, he was indeed once again in Rarity’s studio. It was here that Rarity gave him permission to follow her to Canterlot.

Sweetie Belle quickly hurried up the stairs after Spike had begun to feel comfortable. As she didn’t say a word about whether he should stay or follow, he decided to follow. Since he had already entered, it was good chance to explore a little further.

Tailing the speedy little filly wasn’t an easy task while trying to absorb his surroundings. It was almost a pity that he couldn’t wander with a slower pace. Rushing through the hallway wasn’t his choice method of travel for his return after so long.

Sweetie Belle slipped into a room, almost being missed by Spike, who would’ve passed it if he had been just a little more distracted.

“There are a few things I need to find first.” Sweetie Belle looked around the makeshift visitors room for her in small look of disapproval. Spike wondered what the problem was. It appeared to be completely acceptable for somepony to live in. “Rarity comes into my room once in a while to clean without my permission. She says it’s cleaning but sometimes I can’t help but to think that she’s actually doing it to hide my stuff.”

“Well, take your time.” Spike sighed, no longer eager to be at Twilight’s library party. He wasn’t sure if it would be better to talk to Applejack early or give her time at the party before they spoke to each other. There was the Applebloom factor, but at this point, what more could she possibly do? If her “plan” indeed had failed, then she no longer had anything more to add to Applejack’s troubles.

“Yeah, this going to take a while.” Sweetie Belle sighed, taking a step back from her storage chest to look around her room, wondering where Rarity had placed her essential belongings.

“At least we know Rarity’s doing something while she’s in here.” Spike tried to make good of the current situation. He looked back down the hall they came from.

I’ve run out of strength to deal with my own front door

Now that I’ve finally had that very much needed conversation, I feel as if I can finally take a step outside without having to feel as if the world was watching me.

I need you to promise that you won’t worry for me any longer.

That was a promise Ruby had made to Rarity. One Spike had made in his name. In the heat of the moment, for the sake of the conversation, it had to be made. It was something he could have never made as “Spike”. He made it knowing that it would only last as long as “Ruby” did. That promise was one Rarity made with Ruby. Did she make it because she trusted Ruby to keep it? No longer worrying about her. If he had thought of making the same one with “Spike”, she would have had to have known that it was a promise she could never ask Spike to keep, never trust Spike to keep, never expect him to keep.

There probably were a few things Rarity could never ask, trust, or expect Spike to keep.

Dragons, I’ve come to learn, are driven by desires.

There probably were.

That made him wonder if Ruby would last as long as he was able to keep that promise he made to Rarity.

“Darn, this wasn’t what I had planned when I brought you here.” Sweetie Belle had stuffed her saddle bag with a whole range of stuff while Spike was lost in his thoughts. “You were supposed to be having a good chat with Rarity right about now, not spacing out at my doorway, watching me pack.”

“It’s your plan, Sweetie Belle,” Spike replied. “Don’t you have a plan B?”

“Well, I can turn this lacking situation in something much better.” Sweetie Belle had a wide grin on her face. “By that I mean, it might actually be better that Rarity isn’t here.”

Spike did not like the sound of that. Sweetie Belle left her bags and walked towards then past Spike, taking him a little deeper into the hall, sooner than he had expected, they were in front of a door that Spike had often dreamed of in his days as a dragon. It was outrageously ordinary for a door if it’s position. Appearances, whatever they might be, there was indeed great value in the privilege of being allowed to cross it. That value Sweetie Belle also understood. Rarity’s room was the last place Spike was expecting to enter during his visit here.

“You should know how much of a blessing it is to be this deep in Rarity’s home.” Sweetie Belle let Spike know in a matter-of-fact kind of way. “Other stallions would do just about anything to be where you are now. They’d be glad just to make it past the studio, but we’re here in front of Rarity’s very room. No stallion has ever made it this far into Rarity’s good wishes and home. As they say, a mare’s room is like a window into her heart.”

It was like Sweetie Belle was telling him that one’s worth in Rarity’s eyes was equal to how deep they had ventured into her home. Her room was the very deepest, in that case, what would that make him?

“I heard Spike did it.” Spike stared at the door with a small smile and a sigh at his oh-so-amazing accomplishment, knowing it didn’t actually mean much, remembering Rarity’s explanation to why she had rejected him. “But I guess it doesn’t matter if he did or not, because he was a dragon, apparently.”

“What makes you say that?” Sweetie Belle asked, hoping “Ruby” wasn’t serious about what he had said. “Spike was actually the whole point of bringing you here.”

“Why Spike, Sweetie Belle?” He was surprised at her insight. Well, Spike would know it too if somepony was constantly trying to get at his sister. Sweetie Belle is the closest to Rarity in this town after all.

“It was actually Rarity’s idea that I spend a night with my friends. She wanted to give me some time off for ‘helping’ her these past few days. As you know, she hasn’t been having the easiest time with her bad arm and she’s also been using magic to get most f her things done. I’ve been doing my best as an extra pair of hooves in the house. Work isn’t the easiest, but I’m always reminded of Spike. Especially how I’d never get any time with Rarity because he’d be helping her work and she’d be working even more because Spike was helping her.”

Spike tried to hide his apologetic smile, which was hard to spot to begin with because it was that much subtle.

“Nowadays she talks with me the most and I got to spend lots of time with her while we’re doing chores and stuff. I now understand what Spike was doing.”

Spike bit his lower lip. Once again reminded that his “secret”, his feelings for Rarity, was never very much of one to begin with. It was a fact he had long before accepted, his inability to be discreet, but something about Sweetie Belle, of all ponies, having known all along brought it back with a whole new kind of sting.

“We don’t fight all that much, I learn new stuff from her, and I don’t mess things up all the time anymore. We’ve grown closer as sisters and it’s been great!”

Sweetie Belle pushed open the door. The inside of Rarity’s room was revealed steadily as it swung. Spike, who wasn’t prepared, let his eyes sink to the ground as his keen pony sense of smell took charge of perceiving the space before him. It was the same smell of Rarity’s home that had been constant all throughout her halls and rooms. Here was where it was concentrated the most. This room was the source of it all. Never before had Spike’s keen pony snout been put to such use.

“I’m just a filly, and I’m Rarity’s sister.” Sweetie Belle stepped in first. “So there are things I can’t help her with, and things I can’t be for her.”

Sweetie Belle dragged Spike into Rarity room, who was somewhat weakened after being hit with such a wonderful and nostalgic perfume.

“But you can do and be those things,” Sweetie Belle continued. “Help her out, work with her, like Spike and I did. Who knows how close you two will get? All you have to do is be there for her.”

You probably need him for more than I do...

That’s not true!

don't be asking yourself why she didn't invite anypony else...

She's taking you...

You're someone worth taking...

You've done… too much for me already...

I want you to know that we finished this together...

Spike felt the air around him send tingles past his coat and into his skin. Those tingles burrowed and squirmed their way into his muscles and bones. He felt dizzy. Happy that he was in Rarity’s room, dizzy because of the sudden shock of being so, and sinking into his thoughts as if he were in a mental quicksand because of the things Sweetie Belle was telling him.

“Just give me... a moment.” Spike felt the full weight of his body on his four legs for a few seconds before he recovered. “You’ve made your point, Sweetie Belle. Quite overwhelmingly, you’ve outdone Applebloom, for sure.”

“Really?! You mean it? Well, of course. I can’t say that I did all the work. It wouldn’t have worked if Rarity wasn’t so awesome to begin with. Is it settled then? You’ve decided to give Applejack a rest?”

“Not so fast.” Spike took a deep breath. “Nothing’s decided. Like I’ve told you. There are things. Things I have to hear, things I have to say, things I have to find out, things I have to do. Nothing’s decided, not until every one of those things have been settled.”

Spike needed to save his friendship with Applejack. Say the right things, which he didn’t know what they were. He truly believed that there existed some combination of words, certain words in a certain specific order that could explain all of this, but he just hadn’t been able to find them.

All was forgiven for the incident at the fashion show. However, he couldn’t just sit here and watch while things continue as something so much less than what could have been. He needed make sure Rarity wouldn’t have to hide anymore. That was all that was in his power as Ruby. More would be impossible. He didn’t want Rarity to fall for Ruby. He would rather not have anything at all if things had to be that way. If he was to accept anything as Ruby, it would be Applejack. That relationship would be somewhat genuine, not a lie to recreate something that failed before. But even that, was on the brink of failing. Then what would be left?

And then, there was his return... Was it as a dragon? Was it only by name? Revealing the pony he is now to be Spike? He only hoped for the latter. He feared if he attempted avoid Celestia’s “prophecy” it would only be fulfilled one way or another, against his will. The maddening thought that he could maybe just escape those dooming words on that letter. Then he would not have to consider the fact that it was only going to be easier if he accepts it and goes through with it bitterly, for returning as Spike, or Spike returning would never be something easy for him, as far as he could see.

So he didn’t know if this “pony” thing was going to last. Not knowing that, it was impossible to see very far into the future, the near future, even. It would make planning for it just as difficult, if not impossible. His options were grossly limited. For the time being all he could think of doing was helping Rarity re-enter her circle of friends. The dinner party he and Rarity discussed, passing Rarity’s messages to Twilight so she would be left with an adequate explanation of the situation. It wasn’t much, really, compared to what he wished he could do. He wasn’t sure what, exactly. He just wanted to do “more”, whatever it was.

Spike began to see clearer. His hindered vision returned to it’s original sharpness. There was indeed something different about the room around him. It wasn’t the level of cleanliness he had come to expect from Rarity’s room, however clean it was at the moment, he knew it to be cleaner.

Quickly putting aside the minor imperfections he decided to take a closer look at his surroundings, clues that might tell him things about Rarity he didn’t know. He didn’t expect to find anything out of the ordinary, except a first aid kit at Rarity’s dressing table. He walked up to it, which Sweetie Belle noticed and quickly followed.

“This is for her arm?” Spike lifted up the top of the kit and looked sorrowfully at the cut end of a roll of gauze hanging over the edge as well as the many miscellaneous medical materials inside.

“Yeah, it is,” Sweetie Belle replied with a bit more seriousness.

Spike made an effort to ask her how Rarity’s arm was, wondering if she knew much about it at all. If Rarity still needed those bandages after all this time, there was no question that it was something serious. Not to mention, the injury was draining her constantly, and Spike was concerned just as much. He knew about injury treatment, just in case Twilight ever needed it when she got hurt. He thought he knew it all, that he was prepared for any situation she might need him for. In Rarity’s case it felt like he didn’t know anything at all. Even if he did know, he was couldn’t all the same. He stared at himself in the mirror wonder how somepony so capable can be so powerless.

Spike’s eyes steadily grew as she spotted something next to his face in the mirror. In the far end of Rarity’s room, there another desk used as a private sewing station. On top of it was something Spike had unconsciously categorized as just another element of Rarity’s slightly unkempt room. Who knows if it was there because of neglect? Who knows if Rarity had deliberately placed it there for her own mysterious reasons?

Spike turned immediately and walked over to the desktop sewing station. It wasn’t the sewing machine or rolls of cloth that were of his interest. It was clear what his attention was directed at, a small, dark colored briefcase. Small enough for a baby dragon. The briefcase belonged to him. The one he took to Canterlot. He stood over it, staring at it.

Spike could only think about Rarity’s reasons for still having his briefcase here. He had been too overwhelmed by his sudden run in with Rarity that night at Canterlot Station. Even though he remembered packing it for her onto the train, he just had forgotten up until now for his mind had been occupied by things other than his forgettable briefcase. It had only been barely significant during the entire the trip. Rarity probably wouldn’t have been sure if Spike had even brought it had she been asked a few days into the stay. Since it had no lock, Spike had hidden it well in his room, so there was slim chance of the hotel staff finding anything unless they were to clean every inch thoroughly. Despite that, Rarity had still found it, brought it back even, she remembered.

Why?

Spike’s reason for hiding his briefcase? There was nothing besides a quill, few scrolls and an alarm clock, none of which were of any use in the luxury suite. Even if there was no lock, there still wasn’t much of a reason to go as far as to hide it. There was absolutely nothing of value inside, nothing that Spike had brought with him from Ponyville at least.

“What’s up, Ruby?” Sweetie Belle asked, displaying the same interest Spike had in the briefcase. “Is there something wrong with the briefcase?”

“I know this briefcase,” Spike replied, running his hoof over the surface. It was oddly polished, cleaner than he recalled it to be. It just about made him doubt if it was really that same beat up briefcase he had brought with him. “I remember loading onto the train for Rarity in Canterlot.”

“Is that so?” Sweetie Belle had no other words for this situation that seemed to be simply out of the blue.

“Can I open it?” Spike asked, calmer than his desire to open the briefcase.

“Are you sure?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Rarity won’t find out we’ve been through her stuff?”

“It’s not her’s.” Spike licked his lips turning back to the briefcase. “It’s Spike’s. You want to find out what’s in here too, don’t you?”

“Not really, now that I know that it’s Spike’s.” Sweetie Belle’s curiosity could be felt diminishing from where Spike was standing.

Click

It was so sudden that Sweetie Belle who had begun to lose her interest was surprised at Spike’s progressiveness. By the time she was finished blinking. Spike was already looking through the quills and scrolls, rolling the alarm clock back and forth as it clinked to check the insides of the already scrutinized briefcase. What he was looking for, wasn’t here.

“Huh,” Spike said with a slight hint of disappointment, closing the small briefcase after a short search, before Sweetie Belle had her chance to look inside.

“What’s inside, let me see!” Sweetie Belle yelled jumping on a stand nearby to get a good view of the case, a new-found interest in it’s supposedly missing contents, as if looking inside at the remaining things would tell her what they were. Spike opened it for her to see. No longer caring much for the case. As Sweetie Belle too realized the insignificance of an alarm clock, broken quills, and blank scrolls, Spike organized it as it originally was before, making sure it appeared to be completely undisturbed.

“I don’t get it.” Sweetie Belle took one last glance at the briefcase, trying one last time to guess what it’s importance was to Spike. “Were you looking for something? A particular scroll with something important written on it?”

“It’s not there,” Spike muttered to himself wondering where it was. Perhaps Rarity already removed it from the briefcase and it’s somewhere around the room, or her home? This or that, if it wasn’t in the briefcase there was little chance he was going to be able to find it.

Unless he asked somepony who might have seen it, or seen Rarity with it once before.

“What is it?” Sweetie Belle was practically begging him to tell her what it was. She was interested in Spike’s relation to the mysterious briefcase Rarity had brought back with her. Perhaps she thought that there was something in all this that she could use to further her goals of getting Ruby to accept Rarity. Spike, having no other option than giving up, gave the answer she was dying to hear.

“A gem.” Spike looked around the room, scanning it for any scarlet glints hoping that it had been placed out in the open for him to see but he hadn’t noticed. However, he saw nothing that he hadn’t been able to detect before. “That’s what was supposed to be in the briefcase.”

“Since you’re talking about gems, if Rarity has it in her hoofs she’d stick them right on a dress and ship it out before you’d even had time to make sure if it was a real gem or some rock candy. She wouldn’t make that mistake though, and she hasn’t been working with gems that much lately. I’m not sure if I can help you.”

“No, it’s a big red one. A... ruby.” Spike said the word. “Kind of shaped like a heart.”

“A big ruby shaped like a heart, you say?!” Gears and cogs were going off in Sweetie Belle’s head, trying to piece together these series of interesting information. “Did you give it to Rarity in Canterlot?!”

“No, I’m not the one who gave it to her.” Spike shook his head, feeling disappointed not having found the ruby as much as he was for having to admit that he wasn’t the one who had given it to her. “Have you seen Rarity with it?”

“Not that I’ve seen. Rarity doesn’t keep her gems in her room. Usually she has them in her studio or workshop. Otherwise it’s on somepony’s dress that they’re wearing after they bought it from her.”

“She wouldn’t keep something like that in there, would she? Not use it, never.” Spike bit his lip, letting his disappointment over controllable levels. “Not if... she had cared.”

“What’s wrong,? What’s up all of a sudden?” Sweetie Belle didn’t understand any of it. The briefcase, the ruby, the importance of it to him, the significance. Being in Rarity room was supposed to motivate him, make him feel special for having been in it, tip his favor from Applejack to her older sister. As she was watching his sudden change of mood, she could only guess that something about the gem missing was distressing to him, she wasn’t sure about much at this point.

Spike couldn’t understand himself why the ruby was still valuable to him. It had been something precious to him. It used to be something less than a promise, but more than a thought, priceless above all things, a symbol. Rarity had given it to him, a snack, but he cherished it. He had been so sure that she understood it’s value to him once she saw that he didn’t want to lose it.

But what would Rarity care about how much the ruby was worth to Spike? As he had been told, a tip. Perhaps having it back in her possession meant that it was just another gem in the pile. One more piece of glitter she could install onto her number of dresses. Something that should have just been consumed and been over with.

“I can look for it if it means that much to you,” Sweetie Belle offered. “Rarity could have put it in her gem chest in one of her rooms.”

“Would you really do that for me, Sweetie Belle?” Spike smiled at her kind offer.

“Sure!” Sweetie Belle was glad to be of help and immediately shot out of the room without another word.

It wasn’t going to be in one of Rarity work rooms, Spike was sure. If Rarity was going to keep the ruby anywhere, it was going to be in her room. Spike hoped that it was important enough to keep in such a place. He wouldn’t care for it if it was anywhere else. Rarity has to keep it in her room, something that valuable, something that she knew was so precious to Spike. If he had lost it and she had found it, she would to try to return it to him, wouldn’t she? It had to be here. She couldn’t have thrown it out. It had to be.

Sending Sweetie Belle away, Ruby knew what he was doing, but now alone in Rarity’s room, Spike didn’t know what he was doing. Where was he supposed to start looking? Before even that, he wondered if Rarity’s privacy was to be invaded like this, for his own desperate needs. It was easy opening his own briefcase, but it required effort to even try to prepare himself to start searching Rarity’s room. He knew that it was going to be impossible for him. He knew it was wrong, yet he tried to justify it anyway.

After a minute of harsh reasoning, trying to convince himself, he realized that he just didn’t have it in him to do it. The thought of going through Rarity’s room was simply out of the question at this point. How could he have been unreasonable enough to even think of it. But then, he would have to hold on to nothing but the belief that the ruby was in Rarity’s room, based only on his hopes and his understanding of the Rarity he wanted her to be. He was to leave this room with nothing that mattered. With a sigh, he felt the tension leave his body, having let go of it all.

The tension was gone, but replaced with something worse.

A feeling similar to the one he’s always had when he was with Rarity in Canterlot. No, it was that exact feeling. It brought him back to that night, before the steps up to the castle, where Rarity was, looking down at him.

The ruby could be here, it could not be here. Rarity could have kept it, knowing it’s value, or spent it, thrown it away or into a pile with the others. Spike wanted the ruby to be in Rarity’s room, not where it was to be of less significance. He didn’t want to believe that it wasn’t here, which was something that everything was telling him was true. Yet the maddening possibility that it could be here, hidden somewhere, somewhere he couldn’t see. The thought anchored him painfully to the spot. There was no way to find out, the insecurity will continue to torture him. There was a way to find out, however. He was afraid to do it, and he told himself it was “wrong”. Why commit to something that was sure not to work, confirm something as a truth that he did not want to confirm, and was to leave him feeling even guiltier afterwords? All he could do was stand there, begging whatever or whoever for the ruby in this room. Time was running out on this chance he couldn’t take. He wasn’t going to be alone in this room forever, but there’s no helping it. He’ll have to leave soon, not knowing, eventually having to accept that it wasn’t here or continue to drive himself mad with the thought that could have been or was, hoping.

It's simple

Does that ruby mean a lot to you?

But what did it mean to her?

How valuable?

...

The ruby?

...

Then what?

...

You...

There was a sound of a heartbeat.

Spike heard it. Loud and clear as if he had pressed his ear onto another pony’s chest. However, this sound did not pass through his ears, no. It skipped all the way to the center of his senses. It also had a direction, a source. Just by hearing, no, feeling it, Spike slowly turned to Rarity’s dressing table, the most important and decorated table in the room. It was like the planets aligning as Spike set his eyes in the direction of the table, then the table itself, then the drawers, then a specific drawer, then to the knob of that specific drawer. He magically locked on to where the heartbeat had directed him. As soon as he set his eyes on his target, the sound was no more, an echo. Spike even forgot what exactly it sounded like almost immediately. It was only where it had directed him that he remembered. Just what was it just now that he had experienced? It was as if something inside was calling for him. The question of Rarity’s privacy didn’t matter anymore, just on this one point of interest.

Was it his decision, to act?

Choice, the problem was choice. All regret comes from choice. All fault comes from choice.

Was progressing accepting one out of the two given in this choice? Perhaps he had already made the choice, but just needed to understand it, know that he was in the process of carrying out an already made decision because he was unaware of having made it all along.

Perhaps it was a desire that transcended choice. He just had to go one way, completely disregarding the existence or possibility of the other, and there would be no regret or blame. No blame, at least not on himself, but on the instinctive nature that compelled him.

Perhaps he just wanted it, badly.

Spike opened the one drawer of Rarity’s dressing table. A glint of red hit Spike right in the eyes. His ruby shone in the lighting as a warm relief washed over him. He had found it. Rarity hadn’t thrown it away. He picked it up from the velvet insides of the drawer held it dearly in his hooves. She had just moved it from the old, worn briefcase to store in the most honorable of places. What he had wished for, was, and that meant the world to him.

The drawer had other things in it as well, things that also had been given an equally significant place inside the drawer. There were two more after the ruby. The placement of these objects suggested that they were as important as the ruby itself. It also suggested that important, but less important things were moved to store the ruby and these other objects separately. These other objects soon caught Spike's interest as well.

A small chest, one that Spike recognized as being from the designing studio that he and Rarity had worked in during their time in Canterlot. It was used for storing little things such as decorations for dresses or small tools for designing. The last object was a scroll. The wax seal as broken, indicating that it had already been read.

Having had enough time with the ruby, Spike let it back down into the drawer exactly the way he found it, so that didn't give off any sign that anypony had touched it. After he adjusted the ruby to be so, he picked up the small chest. There was a sort of suspense as he wondered what Rarity could have brought back from Canterlot in such a container, and also why it was inside the same drawer as the ruby. Spike opened it tenderly, as it's weight suggested that whatever was inside was very light. He didn't want to disturb it's contents in a way that would make it hard for him to put them back the way he found them.

Use mine

Are you alright?

at least, let me do this

Does it hurt?

I'll be alright,

...

I promise...

Spike placed the chest on the table top. Smoothly swiveling backwards on it's hinges, Spike lifted the top of the chest and opened it completely exposing it's contents. The first thing he noticed was a wisp of powdery dust escaping the inside of the chest as it was exposed. What he found inside sent further tingles through his skin. Faded, but retaining it's sheen, were scales, purple scales, his scales. There were too many in the chest to afford disturbing, and the thin powder covering their surface would be a giveaway if where to touch any of them at all. This white dust, it couldn't be. Many questions exploded in Spike's head, but he was too overwhelmed to ask or answer them himself. He moved on to the third object after returning the second.

It'll be like nothing anypony has seen before!

Why in the world would I be nervous?

Since you're here to assist me it's nothing to worry about

I want you to know that we finished this together...

A scroll, Spike's hoof trembled slightly as he unrolled it. It was of quality grade, the paper, which did not ease his anxiety. This was also from Canterlot, Spike supposed. A minute passed as Spike stared at what was written on it. Another minute passed as he stood there staring at the floor as the scroll slowly curled back into a roll. His eyes were blank, his mind still processing what he had just seen, just learned.

He silently prepared to leave. Double checking to see everything appeared to be completely undisturbed. Afterwords, he stared into the room from the doorway one last time, wondering if he was ever going to be in this place again before shutting off the lights.

Spike was waiting under the tree in front of Rarity's for Sweetie Belle. When she came out, closing the front door behind her, they spent a moment looking at each other. Sweetie Belle nodded and Spike nodded back, letting each of them know that they were ready to head to the party.

Spike didn't say anything during the walk. Sweetie Belle let him enjoy the silence, believing that she's given him a lot to think about with their little trip to Rarity's home. Little did she know, that wasn't even a fraction of Spike's current concerns. Assuming that he was too distracted by his thoughts to mind, Sweetie Belle slung the saddle bag over Spike and hopped on as well as if he were a moving carriage.

Spike was indeed, very distracted. His priorities, his set of mind, were completely different than before his visit to the Carousel Boutique. Before, he was confused, undecided on what to do, just expecting to be swept up in the flow of things, and having to act accordingly when the time came. No, not any more, he had a direction, he knew what he wanted to do, and as painful as it was, he knew what needed to be done to do those things.

'“You're awfully in a hurry to be at that party," Sweetie Belle said when she noticed that the combined weight of her and the bags did not slow Spike down, but made him that much faster in his steps.

“There are ponies I have to meet." Spike thought deeply with a sigh. "Twilight and Applejack. I must see them soon..."

Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa,

Men have named you...

You're so like the lady with the mystic smile

Is it only 'cause you're lonely they have blamed you?

For that Mona Lisa...

Strangeness in your smile?

Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa?

Or is this your way to hide a broken heart?

Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep,

They just lie there and they die there...

Are you warm, are you real, Mona Lisa?

Or just a cold and lonely lovely work of art?