derp if i know

I called my work to tell them why I didn't come to work today. Luckily, I have a really nice boss. He told me that I needed to find a way to work when the weekend was over. I have weekends off. There was no way I would to tell him about derpy though. If I had, he would have thought that I was trying to get a free day off. He may be nice, but he's not an idiot.

I have a few problems now. My car was able to be towed away, but will no longer be able to drive. Good thing statefarm is at my side. I have to find a way to keep my house safe or derpy safe while I go to work. I'm thinking about getting a big cage, but that doesn't feel right. I want to have her feel free while not letting her free. How does that work?

For now, I have two days off, plus today. It is five o'clock. CRASH!

Oh no. What did she break this time. I walk down the hall and open the door slowly. I peak in at my bed, hoping that nothing is to broken. My nightstand beside my bed is nocked over and is on top of derpy. I cant see her head, so I dont know if she is hert or crying. I don't think that the desk is heavy enough to hert her too much, but her legs are flailing around trying to push her out from under there. To the side of her and the nightstand is a shattered lamp. Why does she keep breaking my stuff?

I walk over to look on the other side of the desk at her upper body. her front legs are pushing as hard as she can to get out from under. No matter what position or posture she ends up in, she is always looking really cute. Set aside cute thoughts, I lift the nightstand off of her with one hand and pick her up with the other. She mutters "whoopsy."

I respond to her. "Derpy, if that is your name, I need you to stop breaking things. I know your not breaking stuff on purpose, right? I'm providing a warm place to stay. I do not want to put you in a cage, but if you keep breaking things, I am going to have a punishment put in place."

She looks down in shame. I give her a quick sqweeze and set her aside. "First off, I want to know what you can do. How much can you speak?

She replies quietly by saying "Not much." I ask if she can read. she just shakes her head.I set her down on the bed and sit down beside her. "I see that you have wing. Can you fly at all?" She spreads her wings out and flaps as fast as she can. she makes it about an inch off the bed before one wing gives out. She falls on her side. Next, I ask where she comes from. She answers with "metal box." I am pretty sure that she is talking about the mailbox.

Okay. She dosen't know much. It seems like I have to raise her like a child now. I don't know anything about parenting. I'm not too bad at teaching, but that is for older kids who already know the basics. Maybe I can set up some flash cards or something. One problem with teaching her to read might be her derp eyes. I will probably teach her to cover one eye while reading or something.

In the mean time, I have a box of connect four. I run over to the closet and get it from under some old shoes. I bring it over. I put the nightstand next to the bed so that derpy can get up to play the game. I set up the game on the nightstand. derpy walks across the bed over to the game and her eye go even more derp than before. I try to hold in my laughter but release a small giggle. Derpy looks over to me with strong confusion.

"Derpy. This is a game called connect four. the goal is to get your checker pieces in a straight line from each circle with your color, while avoiding my color circles, trying to get four in a striaght line. You drop your checker at the top of the board into one of the slots that is above where you are trying to make it get to."  Her eyes straighten up and look back at me. she asks why. "If you are able to beat me at it, I will give you a sugar crystal that is bigger than your eye. I will warn you though, it is not as easy as it looks."

Derpy's eyes get bigger than I have ever seen them before and she jumps up at my face. I am able to keep her from falling to the floor but she starts licking my cheek. It tickles so much that I drop her. She knocks the game off the table and falls to her face on the carpet. luckily, my bedroom carpet is alot softer than the living room carpet. I pick her and and the game up. I set her on the table next to the game and give her some of the red checkers. I take a black checker and slide it down a corner of the board. derpy picks up a red checker in one hoof and slides it down the middle slot. How did she just do that? Her hooves are flat. How do you pick something up with flat hooves? I reach over and pick up one of her front hooves. I feel around it with my thumb and give it a small sqweeze. Every part of her body seems to just squish, but I don't feel any reason why she could pick things up. I'm going to se her puzzle skills and find out how well she can learn. Hope that she's not slower than snails.