Suicide is Painless

Darkness. Lots of darkness. I can see myself, but that was it. I'm standing in an abyss. In hindsight, maybe killing myself was a tad extreme. I mean, I could have just left, you know? Gone homeless for a while, til I saved up enough. Of course, it was too late for that now.

I look around, trying to see anything in the black. They say there's supposed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. But I guess that's if your destined for heaven. Suicide is a sin for any God, so its not too farfetched to say I'm in for an eternity of suffering. Once again proving that my decision was made hastily.

After standing there for a few minutes, I start to wonder what I'm standing on. I shift my foot, trying to test whats underneath. Bad idea. Suddenly, my whole body tips backwards. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I don't even feel the strain on my throat. It's like I wasn't screaming at all. Then I black out.

More darkness. I try to open my eyes, but for some reason, I'm too tired to open them all the way. The best I can do is squint. I'm still falling apparently. It feels kinda strange though. Feels like I'm falling through water. Too fast to be sinking, too slow to be free falling. Very disconcerting. Or it would be, if I was awake enough to care. I close my eyes once more.

Warmth. And light. Bright enough to see through my eyelids. I slowly open said eyelids, and take in my surroundings. I'm laying in a field of flowers. Not exactly the hell I had in mind. But I'm not complaining. I slowly sit up, placing my arms behind me to support myself. I'm still groggy from the nap, and I don't  want to stand up too fast...Wait...Nap? Wasn't I just falling? Why was I falling?

I shake my head, trying to remember what I was doing before now, but all I remember is darkness. Whatever. The past isn't important right now. I need to find out where I am in the present. I continue looking around. I'm in a small clearing. Entirely encompassing the clearing are trees. Lots of trees. I hear...birds. They're chirping somewhere to the right. Kind of annoying, but again, not exactly hell material. Maybe I lucked out? Maybe I suffered enough to justify...what? Why would I be going to hell in the first place?

My mind aches. I begin searching my memories, but find none. Yet, I'm sure they're there, somewhere. I decide that sitting there isn't going to help solve this mystery, so I slowly stand up. As I do, my stomach growls. I need food. I look up at the sun. Its close to setting. Better find some fast. I'm in an unknown forest, and I don't want to be lost in the dark.

As I approach the tree line, I notice a small bush of berries. Nothing I recognize, but I grab a few, just in case I cant find anything else. After picking some, I begin scouring the forest, never moving out of sight of the clearing. Its not too long before i find a recognizable fruit. Apples! I attempt to jump and grab some off the lowest branches. But its no use. I set the berries down and try my best to shimmy up the trunk. But its no use. I never was the most athletic. Picking up the berries again, I return to the clearing, squashing a few berries on a tree at the treeline, as a marker to the location of the apples.

I sit down in the clearing and coax myself into trying a berry. A stray thought stops me though. If I eat this and get sick, I won't be able to start a fire. That's a big deal. So I set the berries down again, much to my stomachs dismay, and move to the trees to search for firewood.

I'd seen a few survival videos...videos? Not important. Main thing is, I knew the basics of starting a fire. Rub sticks together, right? Easier said than done. By the time I give up, the sun is almost completely hidden by the trees. I simply stare at the small pile of wood. If I can't make a fire, I can't be sure of my safety. I need fire. But I can't make fire. Its not like I can snap my fingers and...

I scramble away as, at the snap of my finger, the entire pile of wood bursts into warm, bright flames. Thinking quickly, I use the remaining bit of sunlight to pick up another pile of wood. There's plenty of twigs, and a few large branches, but not much else that's aged enough to use. It'll get me through tonight, but probably not tomorrow night. More importantly though, where did that fire come from? I simply snapped my fingers to prove a point to myself, and fire was born. After setting down the new pile, and moving a good distance away from it, I try again. Nothing. I continue trying as I slowly walk back to the fire. Still nothing. And no explanation as to what happened.

After a few hundred failed attempts at recreating the miracle I had performed. I give up on creating fire for a second time. As I sit down by my god given fire, I eye the pile of berries. Now or never. I pluck one from the group and tentatively pop it in my mouth. Then I force myself to chew. It's taste is similar to lemon rinds, but not as strong. The berries are about the size of a thumbnail, so it takes a few to make a dent in my hunger. But it's better than nothing. I seem to recall spending quite a few nights with nothing.

As soon as the thought hits me, I latch onto it. Where did I recall that from? If I have no memories, why do these thoughts keep manifesting from? But as soon as I grab the though, it vanishes, leaving me wondering if I even thought it at all. Something apparently doesn't want me remembering anything. I spend a few hours contemplating my inner thoughts, looking for any sign of the past. But nothing comes up. Seems these bursts of memory come at random, when I'm not expecting them. Wonderful.

I toss another log onto the fire and lay down a few feet from it. I have a habit of  rolling in my sleep, and I'd rather not wake up to the smell of my own burning flesh. I close my eyes and slowly drift into a forced slumber, my mind still reeling with questions.

I awaken with a start. Sounds, all around me. Growls. My eyes snap open, and I roll into a pitiful example of a defensive crouch. My eyes take a moment to adjust, as the fire has died down significantly. As my eyes finally snap into focus, I notice yellow lights in the woods. Always coming in pairs. I quickly put some wood on the fire, prodding it as I spin in circles, counting the pairs. I lose my place at 7. They're moving, constantly. More wood, more poking. Come on fire, burn, dang it! I begin snapping my fingers with the hand not currently poking, praying to anyone who would listen for another miracle fire.

Suddenly, I hear a loud snarl from behind me. I turn in time to see 3 figures detach from the treeline and charge at me. I scream bloody murder, hoping anyone will hear me.

-Snap-

My feverish snapping let out what I believe to be the worlds loudest whip crack. The flames suddenly flare up to a monstrous height. Light floods the clearing, and I can clearly see the three figures now. They look like wolves, but seem to be made of twigs and branches. Whats more, they are physically balking at the appearance of the fire. Wood and fire...

Directing all my thoughts at the group of wood beasts, I raise my hand in their directing and snap my fingers. The rightmost one, who was closest of the three, suddenly bursts into a raging inferno. The other two, catch some of the embers from the burst, and catch as well. They turn tail and flee back into the woods, yelping the whole way. I stand there, stunned. What was that?

I stare at my hand for a few minutes. Luckily, the encounter scared the other eyes away, because an attack during those few minutes would have caught me completely off guard. After I snap out of my trance, I notice the fire has burned up all the wood, yet is still happily burning away, now back to normal size. I push another log onto it, and the log disappears instantly, but the fire doesn't change a bit. I let it burn for what I estimate to be a couple hours, but the fire doesn't dwindle at all. Finally, a stroke of good luck. Immortal miracle fire.

After a scare like that, I'm not going back to sleep. Instead I experiment with my snap powers. Both times I summoned fire, it was when I really needed fire. So is necessity the key? Before I branch out too far in that direction, I decide to try and replicate the fire. To no avail. If it's supposed to give me what I need, can it give me a darn manual? Its my one freaking defense, I really need to understand it...

A puff of smoke appears to my left. I look, and discover a book has appeared where the smoke was.

"Oh, ha ha, real funny" I think to myself. I need a manual, it gives me a manual. I open the book. And find it to be written in an entirely unknown language. This power has a sick sense of humor. I toss the book to the side. There was one good bit of news though. It definitely gives me what I need, if it deems the need important enough. So first off, I should figure out what i need most.

The attack last night showed me that I really need a shelter. Something defensible, so I can rest without fearing for my life. So far, the berries haven't made me sick, so food isn't too high up on the list. Water is definitely another big need. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm as parched as a desert. Water is first on the list, then shelter, then something more than berries for food. They do the job, but I don't want to risk suffering from malnourishment.

By the time I finish organizing my thoughts, daylight has started to brighten the dark sky. I cant see the sun over the trees, but there's definitely light streaking across the dark sky. Now's as good a time as any to start working. I use some larger branches to mark out where I want the shelter to be, then use a flat, sturdy piece of bark to dig a small hole to the side of the outline. Time to put the power to the test. By now, I'm suffering from a headache from dehydration, so the need is pretty high to me. I position myself a few feet from the hole and focus all my mind on the hole.Water

-Snap-

Seemingly from nowhere, rain begins pouring, literally pouring, from the previously cloudless heavens.

"Are you freaking kidding me?!" I scream at the sourceless rain.

My clothes are drenched in a matter of seconds. I raise my hands up to the sky and snap, angrily. Thunder accompanies the small pops. Whatever. I have water. I open my mouth to the sky and let the water cover my tongue.

After sating myself, I move to the next item on the list. Shelter. Luckily, the rain isn't too cold, so I can deal with it for now. As I walk to the outline of my shelter, I notice the fire has gone out. Can't really expect it to stay, can I? But I cant attempt to re-make it til the rain leaves.

I snap once more, now realizing that my top need is an end to the rain. Thankfully, the rain stops, though not as fast as it appeared. I set up a pile of wood, then snap, thinking I need fire, but knowing that wet wood won't burn.

As if to mock my thoughts, the fire re-appears. I stare at my hand for the umpteenth time since I woke up.

"I think I'm starting to get the hang of this"

"Fire, check." I told myself.

After many tests, I had gotten fire to come naturally. I could call it, or banish, with just a simple snap. Water was proving a tad bit trickier though. After multiple rainstorms, I had managed to fill the hole with water, but I still couldn't call water other than rain. Which brings us to the next item on the list. Shelter.

During my experimentation with fire, I figured out how to control what the fire burns, and what it doesn't burn. I also figured out that burning the fire without wood drains my energy. I need what energy I have, so its in my best interest to save that for emergencies and burn wood. Knowing all that, I decide that a wood shelter that encompasses the fire and leaves room for food, extra wood and me would be best. I'm leaving the water basin outside to collect rainwater. I move the stick outline of the shelter to a new position that reflects these changes.

Now I need wood. I pop a berry in my mouth as I walk to the edge of the clearing. I look for a tree that's fairly even from top to bottom. As I look, I contemplate the next hurdle: how to down the tree. Magic, as I have taken to calling this new ability, will definitely play a large role in this, but it seems to be sporadic and completely random until I've practiced through repetition.

I think about forming a sort of blade with fire and burning my way through the trunk of the tree. To test this idea, I move to a tree less suited to my needs. I snap-summon a flame in the palm of my hand, then start to focus it into what i need. Thinner, longer, thinner again, longer again, now hotter. I feel myself physically weaken from the exertion, but I don't give in just yet. After the blade seems to be what I need, I try to grab it. Bad idea. I drop the blade, and it quickly starts consuming the grass around it. I terminate the flame, then look at my hand. No serious burns, but it stung something fierce.

I look up at the sky. Training with fire took up all of my morning, and messing with the rain took a few hours off my afternoon, so daylight is quickly running out. I focus on forming the blade again. It's a little harder this time, since I'm afraid I'll burn myself again. But I manage to replicate the first blade. Using my mind this time, I lower the blade to the base of the tree. Now for the moment of truth. I push the blade against the tree.

Instantly, clouds of smoke billow forth from the point of contact. The dense smog burns my eyes, and I start coughing to clear my lungs. During this time, I lose focus on the blade and the flames burst outward, consuming the entire tree. I try to snap-banish the flame, but to no avail. It has grown too large to control. Only one other thing to do. I grimace as I raise my hand to the sky and snap-summon yet another rainstorm. If there's anyone else in this world, they're probably really confused by all this random weather.

"So the moisture in the tree doesn't react well with flames. That's good to know." I say to no one.

I've taken to talking to myself. I'm not sure why, but it helps me place certain thoughts above other. When experimenting with fire, I found it more effective to state my intentions before snapping. After enough practice with it, I no longer needed to speak aloud, but I continue to do so, hoping it will help with expanding my control over this strange power.

"Guess I'll have to find another way..."

The only other way I could think of at this point was some sort of tool.

"Perhaps a chainsaw, or a hand ax..." I say, not even bothering to wonder where those names came from, and why I know what they are. Present problems now, past problems later. I move to stand in front of the chosen tree.

"I need a chainsaw," I enunciate clearly, before stretching out my hand and giving my fingers a snap.

Nothing. No problem. It never works on the first few tries. Or so I thought. The second try causes a puff of smoke to appear at the base of the tree. Excited, I run to investigate. I stare in confusion for a second, before reaching down and picking up a handsaw. A label on the side describes it as a hacksaw, ideal for cutting through chains. A saw. For chains. Chainsaw.

Despite the horrible situation I'm in, I can't help myself. I crack up. Hard. I mean, rolling on the ground, laughing til I cried. I don't know what twist of fate brought me here, or why it gave me such a screwy ability, but right now, I'm happy to have it. It knew, all along, that what I really needed was a laugh. Instead of stressing about everything I had to do to survive, all I really needed was laughter. And man, was it right. I haven't laughed so hard since before my mom...

As soon as my mind hits that area, the laughing ends. I'm left feeling extremely depressed. Whats more, I don't even know why. I was thinking about something one moment, then my mind went blank, leaving me with this bad feeling in my stomach. I don't like this feeling. I need another laugh. But my magic seems spent at this point, not willing to do anything else for me. I sigh, and retire by the fire as the last bit of sunlight dips beyond the horizon.

Using the fire I already had summoned, and some of the wood from my pile, I manage to create a ring of flames around me. I give it specific instructions to burn anything that touches it, except me. To test it, I pass my hand through it. the wood it feeds off is very hot, but nothing burn inducing. I step outside of the ring for a drink of water, which empties the basin, then return to my pitiful excuse for a bed. At least it's warm.

I wake up to the inevitable feeling of hot wood on my back. Rolling off of it, I look up to see that day is already almost here. The sun is already halfway past the treeline. After a rather decent night of sleep, I dread having to ruin the morning with a rainstorm, but I need water, so sorry morning.

However, as I approach the basin, I notice that its full. This strikes me as odd, since I know I drained it last night, and to my knowledge, there is no natural weather pattern, though I do see clouds in the sky from time to time. Then I notice something else.

Sitting a few feet from the water basin is a woven basket. Okay, now that definitely wasn't there last night. Which means someone else is here. And if they left it here for me, then they probably want to watch me open it, which means...

I quickly jerk my head around, searching the treeline for any movement. As soon as I do, I hear a crash from the trees to my right. I take off in that direction. I hear screams. Very feminine screams. I also can tell they're moving away quite fast. By the time I pass the first trees, I know I have no hope of catching them. But I don't need to. If they were running away out of fear, then they'd run towards safety. Towards where they came from.

As I walk back into the clearing, I burn a mark on the tree in that direction.

Before I go traipsing into the woods, I decide to gather supplies. Thankfully, I now have a nice basket to carry things in. Speaking of basket, I decide to take a peek inside. Looks like a random assortment of foods. Berries, different from mine, as well as apples, a strange fruit that looks like a purple banana, and, shockingly, cupcakes. Of all the things I planned to eat in this forest. cupcakes weren't even on the list. I shrug and pop a berry into my mouth. Sweet. Kinda like cherries. The candied ones though, not the fresh picked ones with the pit in them. At the bottom of the basket is an actual bowl. Much better than drinking water from a hole in the ground.

I take the cupcakes and bowl out and start filling the basket with berries. As I do, I look around the camp, reminiscing on the memories, however short, I made in this area. They fill my otherwise empty memory. I find that I grew to sort of like this clearing. It remained a constant in my strange and confusing new world. I reach down and pick one of the blue flowers that adorn the ground. Holding it between my fingers, I snap, letting the flower jump from my finger in the process. I'm not sure what my snap magic can do for it, but I kinda hope it will preserve this field, you know? So others who are lost can find this place and feel a little safer.

Sentiments aside, the basket is now full. Snap-banishing my campfire as I pass, I walk to the marked part of the forest. Taking one last look at the one place I actually knew in this world, I step off into the forest, following the direction the unknown screams ran towards.

"Feels like I've been walking for hours" I state for the trees. "How far could they have run?"

It is now late in the afternoon. After walking through the trees for an hour or so, I started to see remains of the trail the voices left behind during their hasty retreat. So I followed them. And have been doing so all day.

"These things must have a lot of endurance" I note

During the walk, I passed the time by broadening the range of my magic. It started when the path went through a briar patch. I needed it to move, so I snapped, and it moved. It surprised me to succeed on the first attempt with such a small need. It also surprised me to see an entire briar patch simply unwind and relocate a few feet to the side of its original location. After that I started testing out random needs. I need a sling for the basket. A vine from the briar rose up after a series of furious snapping. I watched as the thorns fell off and the whole vine tied itself to the basket as a makeshift sling. I need that branch to rise. It rose after 4 tries. I need that branch to fall. It came crashing down on the first try. I need these annoying bugs to drop dead. This one didn't technically work, but the bugs did dissipate very quickly after I snapped. Another shock came when I lost the path. I needed to find where I had lost it. I snapped, and the next step I took found me at a fallen tree I had passed 30 minutes ago. It took me a while to get my bearings back after that.

I yawn, taking a look up at the sky. I can barely see it through the trees, but its looking like I'm might have to spend the night in the wood. The me from this morning would have been worried about that, but I had discovered another easy need that would have made life a lot simpler had I discovered it a few hours ago, when I couldn't stop a raincloud I had summoned.

"I need a shelter. And a dang decent one, too. Not another lean-to, you hear me?"

-Snap-

Twelve trees suddenly fell to the ground. Each divided into five parts. Three of equal sizes, and two smaller ones. They stacked themselves into a crude example of a small log cabin. Another tree fell down. This one floated to the top of the house and started unrolling like a rolled up sheet of paper, making a roof. The smaller branches from each tree floated into the new cabin, making a bed. A group of rocks floats in as well, for a fire pit. And with one large poof, the cabin is complete.

Well, almost. Still needs a door, but mistakes happen. I snap my fingers again,and another tree falls. This one cuts itself into multiple pieces, stacking inside, while one piece floats about the door, then unrolls, similar to the roof tree. I now have a hanging door.

Walking inside, I start a fire, then set the basket down and lie on the bed. As I stare at the ceiling, I ponder my situation. This morning I was worried about water. Now its evening, and I can build entire buildings in less than an hour. Why is it advancing so quickly? With that question on my mind, I slowly drifted to sleep.

I bolt upright. The power. My magic. Something's causing it to react. And whatever it is, it's close. Very close.