Professional cooking

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other in silence, then at the motionless pony lying on the floor. Twilight carefully came closer and checked her pulse and heartbeat, then looked at Rarity and gave her a confirming nod. The other unicorn made a sigh of relief, glad to know that they were already past the worst stage. In a different time and place, she would probably be sad about what had just happened, but they both knew that they had to go throught it whether they wanted or not, so it was just good too know it would only be a regular meat preparing from now on.

"Rarity, levitate her over on the table while I will look for some long tube", Twilight commanded. A moment later, Applejack rested gently on the tabletop in the glow of Rarity's magic aura, lying on her back with her limbs curled comically, now with her eyes closed to hide that creepy expression, while Twilight was sweeping through the cupboards.

"Got it!", the purple unicorn triumphantly pulled out a roll of a transparent rubber tube with sharp tips. After going back to the table, she located an artery on Applejack's hind leg and, with some resistance, jabbed one end of the tube into it while dropping the other over the sink. After a while, the red liquid started pouring down the drain, and it didn't stop running for quite a while.

"Alright", Twilight said when Applejack was finally emptied of all the blood, "I think we can finally um, open her up."

Rarity reluctantly levitated a big knife from a holder on the counter and put it to Applejack's sternum. She really didn't like the idea of sinking a blade in pony flesh, but it was kind of comforting to know that Applejack wouldn't feel it anyway, so Rarity just imagined she was cutting through a really thick fabric and brought herself to stick the knife in AJ's chest. Not without difficulty, she started running the knife south, fighting against the tissue's resistance and trying to ignore the disturbing sounds. After finally reaching the teats, she spread the cut wide with her hooves, revealing all the Applejack's organs crammed tightly inside.

"Twilight, could you be so dear and take care of... gutting?", Rarity asked beggingly, "I find it rather... gross, if you ask me"

"Alright, but you help me with cutting", Twilight said, lighting her horn up. Applejack's liver started glowing with unicorn magic and slowly detached from the rest of sticky mass, only held in place by few veins and bladders. That's when Rarity used her knife to cut the organ free and, levitated with Twilight's magic, it ultimately landed in the nearby bucket. Then the two unicorns followed with the rest of Applejack's insides and soon the bucket was also filled with the earth pony's stomach, heart, kidneys, spleen, pancreas, long trail of intestines and everything else that could be removed. Finally, with plenty of space inside, Applejack was ready for stuffing.

"Rarity, get yourself a spoon and we'll both start filling her up", Twilight said, levitating the huge bowl of stuffing next to hollowed out Applejack. The two unicorns equipped themselves with spoons and started stuffing their friend with the contents of the bowl. Spoon by spoon, AJ was slowly filling up until the stuffing filled all the free space inside her, and there was still a little left on the bottom of the bowl. Then Rarity took a roll of butcher's string and used her sewing skills to carefully sew Applejack closed again. When she was finally done, it was hard to tell that the pony on the table ever had her internal organs replaced with cabbage and buckwheat, save for the stitches running from her chest to the pelvis.

"Okay, what was next?" Twilight asked, trying to remember the instructions Applejack had given them.

"Why, now's the time for a little shaving!", Rarity levitated over few kitchen utensils that were never designed for barber's shop, but with her sophisticated skills they would do just fine. Twilight watched as Rarity magically manipulated the utensils all over Applejack's body, precisely shaving the skin clean and watching carefully not to damage the stitches. A fountain of fur was falling on the floor as Rarity worked her magic to thoroughly shave every spot, until AJ was bald like a sphynx cat. They decided to keep her mane and tail intact, however, worrying she would look rather silly without them, and Twilight just put a protective spell on them so that they wouldn't get damaged by the oven's temperature.

"Well then, I guess she's ready for her condiments now?" Twilight looked at the three bottles.

"Hold on a minute, darling!", Rarity stopped her, "I think it's better if we clean her up a little before we start!"

She had a good point. Although Applejack had always taken a bath after work, a good cook knew that there's never too much hygiene when serving food for consumption, not to mention that they all did get kind of dirty on their way there. Rarity unwrapped a new kitchen sponge and soaked it in a hot water, then gave AJ quick cleaning until her skin was all wet and shiny.

"Alright darling, you can start seasoning her!", Rarity said after the water on Applejack dried a little, and the three bottles started levitating towards the table with Twilight's magic. After stopping above their goal, the lids opened, the bottles flipped over, and AJ was bathed in a rain of curry, pepper and oregano, sprinkled evenly in three perfectly synchronized streams by the OCD unicorn. When Twilight was done, Applejack looked like after rolling in a colorful sawdust.

"Okay, I think now is the time to, um, put her in the oven...", Twilight had some difficulty saying this aloud, somehow much more than seasoning her friend with condiments or even removing her insides.

As Rarity trotted over to the oven, Twilight levitated the stuffed and seasoned pony off the table. The white unicorn opened the door and was immediately assaulted by the now quite an intense heat coming from the oven, which didn't make it any easier for them to put their friend inside. She used her magic to slide the plate out and put a little oil on the surface, making it ready for Twilight to gently put Applejack on in sphynx position, with her head lying between her forehooves. It wasn't easy for them to bring themselves to slide the plate with Applejack back in, knowing that after taking her out again she wouldn't even be a pony anymore but a roasted dinner only resembling AJ in shape. Still, they knew that Applejack willingly did it for Equestria and that she would have been mad if they backed out after all this, so Twilight's horn lit up and their friend entered the hot oven on the sliding plate, with the door shutting behind her gently.

"Alright, now all there is left to do is wait until our dinner is ready", Twilight said with a guilty relief that they were finally done with their grotesque cooking.

The following hours were filled with slow, awkward waiting, only interrupted by occassional peeking through the transparent door into the oven to check how Applejack was roasting. At first the two unicorns felt uncomfortable seeing their friend inside this hellish environment, but it helped  them to know that in her present state, the cruel heat wasn't in any way harmful to AJ – in fact, considering the circumstances, it was actually good for her since it helped her get nice and crispy. With every peek, Applejack was slowly turning golden brown, and in the meantime, Rarity passed the time planning how to garnish the earth pony when she's finally roasted, while Twilight got busy sweeping the floor that was all covered in shaved fur. When they were both left with nothing to do, Rarity decided to take the offal to those starving guard dogs outside. She came back after a while with empty bucket.

"You have no idea how hungry those poor beasts were, they ate everything in the bucket!", Rarity was pretty amazed, "But first, I had to clean Applejack's intestines from all the digested apples, eww!", she shuddered at the memory.

"While you were gone, I went to the dining room and announced to everypony that the dinner is already on the way", Twilight informed, "They... didn't know how to respond"

Finally, Applejack was ready to be taken out from the oven. They turned off the heat and opened the door, which immediately spread around an enticing aroma of roasted meat and condiments coming from the oven. The moment it hit their nostrils, both Twilight and Rarity felt saliva building up in their mouths, and they weren't proud about this. Applejack really did know the best condiments to be seasoned with!

"Okay, I'm pulling her out!", Twilight announced, lighting her horn up.

The plate with Applejack slid out onto the open oven door, and now her skin was brown and crispy, with juices dripping from tiny cracks created by the internal pressure. At first glance, she looked like she had fallen asleep during sunbathing for too long, instead of being served for them to eat.

"Rarity, hold her for a while above the plate to drain off the excess of grease, and I will warm up the gravy in the meantime", Twilight ordered.

While the purple unicorn was putting the saucepan on the stove, Applejack was levitating above the plate with Rarity's magic, dripping heavily onto the metal surface below. By the time she was relatively dry, Twilight had already put the beautiful apple-themed platter on the table. The earth pony levitated over and landed on the oval dishware as gently as Rarity's skills allowed, creating another tiny puddle of grease below her upon touching the metal. Since she had picked it herself so carefully, the platter fit her perfectly, with plenty of space around her to put the garnish. Rarity made great use of it, putting a carpet of lettuce leaves around the roast and then covering them with olives and cherry tomatoes.

"Gravy's ready!", Twilight announced with her magic levitating the hot saucepan. As soon as her friend put the last touches to her decorating work, she levitated the saucepan above Applejack and spilled its hot contents down her back. Not wanting their roast to flood in the sauce, she only used as much as needed, then put the rest in a nice decorative sauce boat which she placed on the edge of the platter, next to Applejack's hind leg. As a finishing touch to their culinary masterpiece, Rarity put the Sweet Apple Acres apple in AJ's mouth.

"Well, Rarity, I guess she's finally ready to be served, what do you say?", Twilight asked after putting a special spell on the roast that gave the meat magical protective properties for everyone who would consume it before entering Tartarus, according to the instructions in the book.

The elegant unicorn took a careful look at their finished work. It was a perfect roast, but there still seemed to be something missing. Then she got an idea. She took a nice, fresh carrot and slid it into Applejack's roasted marehood. With a silent scraping sound, the vegetable went in almost all the way to the base of the leaves.

"Perfect!", Rarity looked at it proudly, and Twilight only rolled her eyes.

"Okay Rarity, I'll take her to the table and you hold the door open for me!", the purple unicorn commanded while lighting her horn up. She carefully lifted the platter with Applejack off the table and started carrying it towards the dining room. Rarity went ahead of her and opened the door. The two unicorns left the kitchen with their dinner ready.