Clue Me In

A room. A dark, cold room. One light bulb dimly shines above a simple wooden square table. Two chairs. A clock on the wall. Every counting second, there’s a ticking sound. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick…

“It is time to set up the game.” a deep muffled voice said. “Who are our players?”

A knocking on the door tapped into a crescendo.

“We’ll find out now.” a low seductive woman’s voice answered. “Come IN!”

The door creeks open. A scrawny thin boy walks in shaking, holding a manila envelope. He places it on top of the table without being told and backed his way out of the room not breathing till the door closes.

“This will be fun…” the woman voice says as she flips open the envelope scattering photos of the game candidates. “This will be extra fun.”

“How so?” asks the manly voice.

“We have rare visitors from the hidden land of Equestria! Oh, and of course, the U.S. we’ve got Americans!” the woman said in response.

“I’ve never heard of such place. Equestria. How do you know of it?” the man says with a disbelieving voice.

“Well, for starters… I’m from there!” the woman’s voice was excited. “It’s a land of extremely gorgeous people. But, not just any ordinary people… some of them have wings or horns, or BOTH! I’m allowed to live off land away from the enchanted paradise because I’m considered ‘From the Earth’ and look like regular humans.”

“You’re telling me you’re from a magical place and choose to live here? Uhhh, okay.” the man says, still a nonbeliever. “Where is this located again?”

“It’s between Asia and North America.” the woman says “Here, look at some of these pictures.”

“They just look like models to me! Very hot, sexy models. Where are the horns and wings you’re talking about?”

“I can see them. Hmmm. These pictures must have a protection spell on them. But, in person, you’ll see everything.” the woman explains. “But, when they leave, you’ll probably remember them by these photos.”

“Ummm, okay. Let’s flip through them and you’ll tell me their descriptions.” he digs through the pile. “This one, says Fluttershy.”

“Gosh, okay, some of these pictures are when we were in high school! Someone needs to update these.” she got a weird look and continued on. “I just remember them, they might not remember me, and hopefully with what we do they don’t…! Anyway, Fluttershy... she’s a Pegasus, age 24, married to…” the woman shuffles the stack and produces another photo. “…to Rainbow Dash, another Pegasus, also age 24. Fluttershy is soft spoken, in animal care. And Rainbow Dash works as a weather reporter for the news station and lead weather damage control and athlete.”

“Oooo! How about this one!?” he shoves the picture of Apple Jack over to her.

“Her name is Apple Jack, she’s a ‘From the Earth’ person like I am. Age 24, but in a month, 25. Owns a whole apple orchard and farm. She is engaged to this girl, Rarity, Unicorn, age 24, one of the biggest fashionistas around the globe!”

“Shucks! Are they all gay?!”

“No, haha, it just so happened that, the first 4 pictures were of lesbians. Well, I remembered in high school Rarity dated a few guys…” she hands a few pictures over to the man. “These two are part of a flying aerodynamic team called ‘The Wonderbolts’, Spitfire and Soarin. Another person on the team is here too. Fleetfoot. Oh, oops, and Rapid Fire. I enjoy watching them perform when I visit home.”

“So, they’re all not gay but all taken.”

“Nooo, Fleetfoot is single. And Rapid Fire is too, not that you’re interested in guys.” she says shoving another two pictures at the man. “This one is Pinkie Pie. ‘From the Earth’. Age 23. A baker. And, she usually has wild poofy hair… Twilight Sparkle. HEY! I know this girl. She didn’t go to school with us. She’s family with the Royals… come to think of it… she just was recently crowned the newest Princess. Saw it in my Equestrian email... the girls combined are the ‘Elements of Harmony’! They’re famous. More famous than ‘The Wonderbolts’! It says here that she’s 23 and a Unicorn and whatever I just said to you about her...”

“Hmmm, okay. Alright.” the man looks at the clock. “I’ll just thrift through the rest of these on my own.”

“That’s a good idea. We have to start talking about what we’re going to do with all of them… the town is excited to start the new game…”

The rest of those from the land of Equestria