A Hero Untold

Wolfram was just about worn out already.  Right about now he was wishing that Amp was there to pull some new biological agent out of who-knows-where, and administer it to him to fix all his problems. Trudging out of the horrid forest just now, he saw the town come in to sight again. The sun was high in the sky, but Wolfram felt ready for supper and bed.

The whole trip the sword had been bothering him. Carrying it wasn't an option, because he was too slow standing on two legs, but when it was in his bag it put him off balance and occasionally damaged some of his things. What kind of ancient relic sword doesn't have an equally amazing scabbard to go with it? None the less, he had made it back. And would certainly go about finding a better device to hold it before he headed back to Canterlot.

Canterlot, that brought up a thought. Today was the day his enemies were due there. This meant if he headed back soon, he'd have to take an evasive route, so as to not meet them going the opposite way on his return. But that was still hours ahead. Currently he felt exhausted, and hungry. So off to the inn it was.

The people in the town still looked at him strangely, and he still tried to spook them off with a brooding expression and hunched stature. It worked for the most part. With his shell of intimidation intact he made it to the inn in no time, and without any suspicious followers. He walked up to the door, and just before heading in he heard a familiar voice.

"Wait, wait. It gets even better! So, the interrogator woke up, now hoofcuffed to his own chair, I poured kerosene all over the room, and gave him a hacksaw. I said to him 'Cuffs take a lot longer to get through than ankles.' And he never heard from me again!" The whole room tavern erupted in a roar of laughter.

Wolfram was not actually sure what to think about Amp being there. He was happy to have someone he knew around, but he was irritated that she was already making a better impression than he could. He was also wondering why Amp seemed to follow him almost everywhere.

He trotted in the door, and went up to the counter. Not heeding Amp's popular presence. He ordered the bartender to get him food and drink, then proceeded to sit in silence. It didn't take long for Amp to notice Wolfram, the giant sword sticking out of his bag was a give away to his presence.

"Hey, Wolfram! You're back early, I was just waiting for you!" Amp was very pleased to see her hireling.

"You know, things got real boring real fast once you left. Well, until this morning that is." She paused.

"What happened?" Wolfram asked flatly.

"Well, the feds got a perimeter all set up at about six in the morning, and then the cult showed up. Full blown battle in the streets of the capital city." Amp was already drinking, and seemed no worse for wear despite.

"Oh, great. Any other powerful factions laying siege to my home?" Wolfram asked angrily.

"Unless they can take the forms of innocent ponies, nope." Amp was dead serious, but Wolfram laughed lightly.

"So, I got the sword. It would seem death grip lasts more than a few centuries." Wolfram thought he was being clever.

"Wait, you saw undead?" Amp became ecstatic. "Tell me everything you observed, there's a surprising lack of information on them."

"Not much to tell. They were corpses that moved, and spoke some old language. Lots of deep sort of sounds. Y's and T's all over the place."

"You can't recall exactly what they said?"

"Nope, not everyone has a perfect memory." Wolfram was trying to point out Amp's insensitivity. He failed.

"Oh well, it's not perfect, but thank you." It was hard to tell if Amp was joking, "Well, anyway. Eight hundred bits, right here. Hand the blade over, please." Only now did Wolfram have a second thought on the transaction.

"Actually. This sword is rather handy in a fight, and I don't have much need for that much pay." Wolfram blackmailed.

"Oh I get it, I bargain your freedom over a poker debt, and now you bargain the scientific advancement of an entire nation over a nice weapon. Look, I can get you a sword that's almost as good as that one easily. The alloy is actually a lot more useful for machinery than weapons. High carbon steel will work almost as great."

"The original payment, plus a new sword. Then it's yours." Wolfram demanded.

"Deal, now hand it over, I want to look at it." Amp began reaching over Wolfram's food and trying to grab the sword out of his bag on the other side of him. Wolfram pushed her back, and gave her the sword freely.

"Ho boy! This is amazing! How the heck did they fold titanium into Damascus? Where did they even find titanium?" Amp clearly not expecting an answer from anyone. "To think that they had the nerve to just leave this unsheathed in a tomb somewhere."

"Horrid to even imagine." Wolfram said as his meal slid down the bar to him. He began eating without discretion, and drinking all the same. He had tasted alcohol before, but he couldn't remember it. So it might as well have been a new experience. He recoiled at the bitter taste of the ale at first, but once the shock settled in he quite enjoyed it.

"Whoa, finally drinking some of the grown-up stuff, eh?" Amp teased, she was not cautionary and had been encouraging Wolfram to begin drinking as soon as he had finished most of his brain development.

"Yep, It couldn't hurt for just one more thing to change in my life now."

"Well I'm proud of you, all grown up and drinking beer!" Amp harassed.

Wolfram finished up what he was eating without giving Amp anything else to mock him about. He managed to shake the payment out of Amp, partially in checks, but it was still good money, and he left the tavern. Hoping to be able to do something on his own without Amp chiding in and belittling his efforts.

Wolfram took a few steps outside, it was mid afternoon at this point. Wolfram wasn't exactly sure what to do. Hopefully most of the chaos had passed in his absence, but Wolfram wasn't certain it was safe to return home yet. He moved to the edge of town to get a clear line of sight on Canterlot. It was strange seeing it from so far away, even if it was obfuscated by a translucent purple sphere.

He just sat there and looked at it for a while, mostly procrastinating his need to make a move. And to some further extent feeling homesick. After a good long bit of staring he noticed something abnormal. He initially dismissed it as a strange cloud. But it looked to be more lively, it was almost writhing in the sky. Reminiscent of swarms of insects or vermin, and a lot darker than most storm clouds.

Wolfram began to worry, and wanted someone to tell him that he was just imagining things. The only person around he knew was Amp, obviously. So he trotted back to the tavern with some haste. In no time he was back through the door, Amp was still telling macabre jokes, and Wolfram had to force his way through the crowd to get to her.

"Amp, can you come and see something?" Wolfram didn't want to be specific to the whole crowd.

"Pff, yeah. I'm not getting paid for this." She hopped off the stage and walked with Wolfram out the door.

"So what are you showing me?" Amp asked.

"I'm not sure, I was hoping you could clarify."

"I more than likely can." Amp assured.

Wolfram led her to just the same spot he was in when he noticed the writhing cloud, and he pointed it out as best he could.

"I don't see anything." Amp said plainly.

"Well take the goggles off, those are for arc welding, right?" Wolfram was severely upset.

"The sun is a lot more powerful than an arc welder." Amp grumbled as she took her goggles off, squinting in pain. It took her a minute or so of trying to get used to the light. When she finally did she stared closely at the sky above Canterlot, and then spoke.

"That cloud does look strange, I'm going to get a closer look." She finessed a pair of binoculars out of her satchel and rested them in front of her eyes.

"Yep, that is definitely a hostile swarm of insectoids massing outside of Canterlot." Amp remained completely level.

"You're joking, right?" Wolfram was actually not certain he should believe Amp.

"Yeah, I'm joking about a a horde of unidentified monsters threatening everything I've ever worked for." Wolfram stared blankly at her "Of course I'm not joking, idiot. Now tell me, have you ever ridden in a car before?"

"No," Wolfram said cautiously "Why?"

"Because you're about to ride in the best locomotive in Equestria, compliments of me." Amp took a small device from her tool belt, a two way radio. She sent a series of clicks through by pressing on a button and then put it away. There was a long pause.

"Is something supposed to happen, because..." Wolfram was interrupted.

"Shh, you'll ruin the entrance." Amp hushed.

Not long after Wolfram heard a soft rumbling in the distance, seemingly coming from the Everfree Forest. Wolfram had not actually seen a 'car' before, since they weren't very popular in Equestria, but he knew they existed and of their general premise. They seemed a bit silly to him, they needed constant refueling and were barely any faster than a good runner.

Rumbling soon became a tremor, and then a roar. It climbed louder and louder, impending on their position. Wolfram distinctly heard the sound of vegetation being snapped and crushed, and after standing in place anticipating it for a good two minutes, a machine erupted from the wall of the forest. Soaring through the air, branches and leaves trailing behind it. It was a glossy black, and had what looked to be a cow pusher welded to the front. Several iron pipes extruded out of the rear end at varying degrees, and at the moment were spewing blue-hot exhaust. The curves and contours of it's central body were only contrasted by the sharp edges and dangerous bits of the attachments.

The contraption slammed into the ground right in front of Amp, and looked like it was going o run straight into her. Wolfram was about to jump over and knock her out of the way, as she seemed to be motionless, but just before he did he heard a screech louder than an eagle. The car turned to it's side, and slid toward amp, leaving trenches in the earth behind it before it came to a halt only a few centimeters from Amp.

A pony stumbled out of the left side of the car, coughing loudly, a plume of smoke followed him closely. As the door opened a rumbling sound from within became more apparent. It vaguely resembled music, but the singers were screaming and the instruments sounded unearthly and heavy.

"What in Equestria is that?" Wolfram asked no one in particular. But the previous pilot of the car spoke.

"It's heavy metal, man!" and he began furiously rocking his head and long mane back and forth. For only a few seconds before he stopped, mane still partially covering his face.

"Oh yeah, Amp, man. The dry ice machine is venting into the cockpit again, man." He said.

"Seriously? Damn. That just keeps breaking. Find me some tungsten later, okay, Seymour?" Amp asked.

"Right on, man." Seymour confirmed. "Hey wait a minute, who's this kid? More importantly why hasn't he heard metal before?"

"I will introduce myself, Seymour. I am Wolfram, I--" Wolfram was cut off by Seymour.

"Oh dude, that's a pretty metal name. Rock on, man."

"Like I was saying, I'm Wolfram and I really need to get back to Canterlot, so if you would excuse us." Wolfram continued.

"Sure thing, man. It's Amp's car anyway." Amp was to speak next

"It certainly is. Alright, Wolfram, this thing only seats two. Get in on the other side. Seat belts are optional, but not recommended." She said , putting her goggles back on and stepping into the vehicle.

Wolfram did as instructed, and opted to put the seat belt on. He sat upright, as the structure of the chair suggested he should. Amp put her hooves on the steering device, and the engine roared twice. Without any warning the vessel accelerated to ridiculous speeds, Wolfram was surprised.

"Welcome to the..." Amp began, flipping her extra dark lenses down "Highway to hell!" She shouted the last part, just as another song began on the sound system.

All of Wolfram's previous notions about cars seemed void. It was his understanding that they were only about as fast as a fit pony, and that there wheels only allowed them to drive on roads. They were reportedly made mostly out of wood, with some steel framing, and the wheels were supposed to look like the kind you'd see on a wagon. This car broke almost all of that description. It's wheels were made of heavy rubber and steel, and Amp was driving off road. She also was already driving at ridiculous speeds, the speedometer which was analog, and built into the dashboard, was all ready reading 75 kilometers an hour.

Amp swerved and swiveled the car over rough terrain, only heading in the general direction of Canterlot. Wolfram couldn't argue that they were going fast. Wolfram was worried on several occasions that the vehicle would slide or roll, but it had an uncanny grip on the earth below them.

Canterlot was approaching fast, really fast actually. Wolfram now realized a small problem. There was only one carriage road into the city, and the gate to it was only opened for special occasions to special ponies. Only the railroad and what ever ground beside it that you could walk along remained. At a lot of points that space was barely large enough for a pony, let alone a massive thing like this car.

"Amp!" Wolfram shouted over the music, "How are we going to get up to the gate?"

"You'll see!" Amp responded quickly and excitedly.

The car was now going 180 kilometers an hour.

The river between Ponyville and Canterlot was fast approaching, and by the looks of it, Amp was not headed for the bridge. She was making a B-line for Canterlot, without heeding any obstacles. Wolfram had been wrong about this car before though, so he bit his tongue and trusted Amp. The river was only a few seconds away.

"Hold on to something!" Amp shouted, and Wolfram obeyed.

They were just about to plummet down the bank into the river, when an inexplicable force launched them into the air. They sailed smoothly over the body of water, a lateral distance of at least ten meters. Cleared by this massive machine with ease. The landing was as smooth as landing on your own hooves from only a meter high. Just as the car hit the ground, and the vehicle bounced with shock Amp spoke up.

"If you ever see suspension that comes close to this, tell me! I need to steal it!"

220 kilometers an hour

After the landing, the car swiveled a bit, and then accelerated to near top-speed. They were now more than half of the way to the mountain Canterlot sits on. After crossing the river, Amp slowly veered the car toward the train tunnel off in the distance. Clearly her plan was to go through those up to the city and hope no trains opposed her.

"Are you sure this is safe, Amp?" Wolfram yelled in question.

"Honestly?" Amp began "I have no idea!" She laughed like madmare, and drove even faster. 250 kilometers an hour, to be precise.

Closing on the tunnel quickly Wolfram was debating whether it would be more dangerous to fly out of the sunroof or sit through the ride. Before he could think long though, the entire vehicle was engulfed in darkness. Within seconds a green monochrome display lit up on the windscreen of the vehicle. and lights popped on on the front illuminating the tunnel clearly.

Amp drove at the same insane speed on top of the railroad. The car was shaking like mad, but holding together. It was a good thirty seconds of safe driving in before the first sign of danger arose. In one of the mirrors mounted on the front of the car Wolfram spotted the telltale headlight of a train coming up behind them. he may have heard a whistle blow, but it was hard to hear over the music.

"Come and get me!" Amp taunted the train, and flicked a switch on the dashboard. Within a moment the car somehow sped up even faster. Wolfram was in awe at the power of the car he was in, every time he thought it couldn't go any faster Amp found a way to push it even harder. Unfortunately the speed boost only lasted a few seconds, and the duo found themselves between a rock and a hard place, or rather a train and another train. A crossroads in the tunnel was coming up, and it was occupied by a train perpendicular to the car.

Amp cursed under her breath and looked around her dashboard for a moment. She sighed and spoke.

"Well, good news and bad news. Bad news, there's only one way through this. Good news, there's at least a six percent chance it will work."

"I hope you aren't putting any money on that." Wolfram said, not too worried at this point. Remembering Amp had a way of defying the laws of probability when it was important.

Amp grinned and shifted a few levers, while still accelerating. She was steering with one hoof, while the other was on a button. The perpendicular train was only a couple meters away, and she slammed the button. The car jumped up into the air, just like on the river, and Wolfram heard the roof scrape against the top of the cave a little. Then, in mid flight Amp shifted a few buttons, and the car spun to face the same direction as the previously perpendicular train.

The apex of the jump had passed, and Wolfram felt the vessel enter free fall. Just for a moment, Wolfram actually had doubts that whatever Amp was planning would work, but soon his fears were quelled. At least a little. The wheels of the vehicle smashed perfectly square onto the roof of one of the cars on the train. He could faintly hear screams of terror from the passengers below, and he hoped that he didn't hear any screams of pain.

The end of the tunnel was in sight, and Amp began driving on the tops of the train cars toward it. The end was near, but the ceiling of the tunnel seemed to be sloping down. Every second driven toward the exit brought the top of the cave closer to the car, and with their speed, the car would almost certainly get torn to shreds if it caught on something. Just a few moments from the end of the tunnel, Wolfram was clenching his jaw, and then he heard it. The awful sound of steel scraping on stone. He heard the sound of metal being torn apart, and he felt the draft of the wind. The whole top of the car was lost behind them, and Wolfram closed his eyes.

Soon he felt something he didn't expect though. It wasn't the feeling of his head being crushed by a cave ceiling, or even the sensation of being obliterated by a train. He was in free fall again, and a waft of light shone over his eyelids. He opened them cautiously, and saw they had made it. The entire roof of the car was gone though. The car slammed into the ground sideways, and tipped slightly, before settling down.

"Huh," Amp began "I was thinking about turning this into a convertible tomorrow morning."