The God Delusion

Celestia closed her eyes tight her mind digging for that final word.

Omniscience.

Celestia closed her eyes tighter as if trying to stop water her eyes while swimming. She then opened them revealing eyes of nothing but pure rage as she charged up her horn about to obliterate her room. At the last moment however, before she sent the room to oblivion she stopped the horn's charge and sighed and just lay on the bed sobbing uncontrollably.

'IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED STARSWIRL? DID YOU DO THIS TO SPITE ME? WAS THIS YOUR WAY OF PROVING ME WRONG?'

She closed her eyes again letting the tears stream down. She pictured the aged wizard laughing at her, satisfied that his ideas of Godhood had thrown the princess off her moral high ground into the land of depression below. The wizard had always been bitter in the last years of his life of the princess when he was denied the chance to be an Alicorn when his ideas of magic without friendship were defined as foolish by Celestia. Now it seemed that his ideas of Godhood were just a ticking time bomb that was devised to upset Celestia. She began to think of the word, again trying to forget Starswirl and his grinning, patronizing face.

As she thought, it was not good examples of how wise she was and how she had averted hundreds of disasters using her wisdom and foresight. Quite the opposite. She remembered quite humorously that time she did not foresee that the so called famous chef from Manehatten was actually a famous prankster who filled the whole banquet at a festival in Canterlot with laxatives. The sewers were clogged up for weeks.

She remembered the time that time they had been building a house inside Canterlot. It was a massive building project and many workers and architects had come from all over Equestria to build it. It was going to be a hi-tech forge for the Equestrian military . She had even visited the site many times before the disaster. Nopony knows what really happened but the scaffolding collapsed sending it toppling to the ground. Of course the ponies on top of the scaffolding were slaughtered, but so were the ones underneath. As well as ponies who were killed by bricks that fell from the scaffold. Celestia could not remember how many had died. However it was in triple figures.

Could she of predicted that? Could she of appeared at the last moment and prevented the scaffold from falling and killing so many of her loyal subjects. Or was it darker then that. maybe deep down in her subconscious she had known what was going to happen, but some sick part of her didn't care, or worse to pleasure in the butcher of those poor ponies.

Her mind turned to Luna. Her beloved sister. Had she foreseen her fall from grace? Had apart of her subconscious wanted her sister to fall?

She screwed up her eyes and thought of the present.

Would I be able to see the signs before she falls again? If she does fall again that is?

She rolled over closing her eyes tight again. At last it fell apon her. Sleep. Precious, needed sleep.

Her sleep was undisturbed by pleasant dreams or nightmares. Her unconscious world was a void, just like her feelings at the moment and just like her position. She was neither a God nor a pony.

She was nobody.